Ibogaine List Archives – 2004-11

From: Patrick K. Kroupa <digital@phantom.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Sacrament of Transition
Date: November 30, 2004 at 11:29:38 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

The Sacrament list has been open for over a year at this point, but not completely on.  As of last week, it is fully operational.  You can sign onto it by sending email to:

sacrament-subscribe@mindvox.com

The list is provided by Sacrament of Transition, which is a registered religion in the country of Slovenia.  I think it’s highly cool, but then, I’m somewhat biased, being a higH Priest.  All that being said, the sacrament is much better than those white wafer things — please pass the guilt — they always gave me before I got thrown out of parochial skoOl.

The list itself does not focus on any particular religion.  We’ve got pretty much everybody here from the Bwiti to born-again Christians, and everybody is welcome to take part.

The focus is on the spiritual aspects of ibogaine.  SPIRITUALITY not RELIGION.  Please do not feel compelled to hammer your particular brand of dogma down other people’s throats; somebody could choke on all that and then turn around and sue you.

I don’t think anybody is searching for the ONE TRUE ANSWER — but just in case you are, I’m sure that half a dozen people swathed within the soothing glow of their messianic complex in full bloom, will be happy to share all of life’s answers…  Uhm, I meant to say: please try to be respectful of other people, their belief systems, and opinions.

And, if at all possible, just be aware that the ibogaine EVERYTHING forum, is right HERE.  Try not to drag war stories, junkie coffee talk, and politics, into the sacrament area.

Thanks,

Patrick / Sacrament of Transition

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From: Patrick K. Kroupa <digital@phantom.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] The Ibogaine List
Date: November 30, 2004 at 11:24:20 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

On Nov 27, 2004, at 4:54 AM, BiscuitBoy714@aol.com wrote:

Kirsty, grass skirts and dirt huts? Man that sounds good. I know your kidding but everyone down south in the states goes barefoot and has a straw in their mouth and we won’t talk about the sheep. That is a joke. Sometimes I get misunderstood. Anyway, as they say in the rooms “we need em all”. Words of wisdom or reminders of what not to do we need them all. From now on I will think of the penguins Preston sent to us and try and refrain from verbal barbs. We ought to ask Patrick what he thinks ought to be on the list. I think I already know. He’s as twisted as most of here and I love him for it. O MY GOD. Help, I’m a Patrick groupie. I won’t screw him but I will twist up a fat one and hold a gun to his head and make him smoke it. Blueberry. I joke but what the hell, we all could use a laugh every once in a while. This list has been my saving grace. I think that is what Patrick has in mind. For me and you and everyone else who stumbles upon it.     Randy

The purpose of the list is to allow people with an interest in ibogaine to communicate with one another, in whatever manner they see fit to do so.

Over the years it has grown tremendously; the topics are rearranged, the content changes, the positive/negative energy ebbs and flows … and a huge influx of new faces keeps arriving.

The dynamic is remarkably consistent, it goes through cycles which repeat themselves — but the overall tone and vibe, is a highly positive one.  People who come here looking for help, get help.  Those searching for community or support, find it.  Individuals who want to cause problems and argue with everybody, don’t have any trouble obtaining what they want either.

I wrote the introduction/summary for the Ibogaine List, many years after we opened it.  I didn’t write it, and then things somehow magically conformed to my wishes.  I just wrote what IS.

What you find here is entirely dependent on what you’re looking for.

Anything, everything, nothing,

Patrick

p.s., Randy and Sean: love you both, and rock the fuck out.

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: sub
Date: November 30, 2004 at 11:20:24 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

3yrs, i’m a weary public defender who’s 54yobup 0.3mg 4x a day 3yrs fir pain management. it’s got a jones
—– Original Message —– From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Monday, November 01, 2004 6:59 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: sub

The great thing about Ibogaine Ron is that it gives us hope.  How long
have
you been on the Bup?  Check out the detox forum I mentioned.  If you post
your details there like how much you take and for how long there’s people
there who can give you first hand advice on tapering the Bup if you need
it,
or just support.  Do remember that they ain’t Doctors though, the best
thing
they say is ‘let your body guide you’.  Good luck with your taper-remember
to take it one day at a time.  What’s your career?  Do you enjoy it?

Love Hannah

—– Original Message —– From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Sunday, October 31, 2004 9:34 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: sub

thanks hannah, i think i’m screwed. been on bup im 1.2 mg per day..liquid
amps.  i’m trying to taper that and benzos.  i’ll probably lose my career
and everything else before it’s over.  i’m in my 50’s now and drugs quit
being fun when i was in my 20’s.  addiction is a powerful thing. ron
—– Original Message —– From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Saturday, October 30, 2004 9:48 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: sub

> Hi Ron,
>
> So far I’ve never been off my Sub apart from when I was using so I
> can’t
> answer that.  I’ve been on it 9 months though so I’m not looking
> forward
> to
> it.  My Doctor etc here in the UK all say that Sub is not addictive and
> that
> you should not suffer at all as long as you taper off it.  However I’ve
> heard plenty of tales that disagree.  I guess I’ll have to wait and
> see.
> How long have you been taking it?  What’s your dosage?  There’s an
> opiate-detox forum with a bit all about Buprenorphine so you could go
> there
> and read people’s posts for info.  (There’s a Bup forum and an info one
> that
> I think has some details too)  But I’ve never got a solid answer out of
> it.
> Look for a guy called ‘Bup4pain’ if he’s still about-he really knows
what
> he’s talking about.
>
> http://64.226.201.78/Forum/default.asp
>
> I’m no Doctor but surely you have to deal with one addiction at a time?
> Benzos or Sub?  I feel for you with the benzo WD.
>
> Have you read up on Ibogaine?  If not definately check out The ibogaine
> Dossier for info.  The others will know better-can you use Ibo to knock
> both
> Sub and Benzos on the head?  I’m hoping to do Ibogaine very very soon
> so
> I’ll let you know how it works with the sub.
>
> Love Hannah
>
>
> —– Original Message —– > From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
> To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
> Sent: Saturday, October 30, 2004 2:47 PM
> Subject: [Ibogaine] Re: sub
>
>
>> any problem coming off sub?
>> —– Original Message —– >> From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
>> To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
>> Sent: Friday, October 29, 2004 2:30 PM
>> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Little ol’ me
>>
>>
>> >I take 4mg when I feel I really need to.  I had stabilised on 4mg
>> >back
>> > before.  Today and yesterday I took 12mg.  I expect to be back down
to
> 4mg
>> > by the end of the week but I’ll see how it goes.
>> >
>> > I hear what you’re saying about my friend.  Can’t we just both try
> harder?
>> > I really could never leave him on th street-then he’d be straight
back
>> > into
>> > it.  I have got meaner with him and told him he CANNOT keep doing it
at
> my
>> > flat and must have respect for my efforts.  I’m just as bad as he is
>> > though-before its been him that did well and ME who fucked things up
>> > for
>> > HIM.  Give us a couple of weeks an see.  He needs to sort out a
>> > place
>> > anyway-he will just get more depressed if he doesn’t start working
> towards
>> > a
>> > goal.  I will be stronger.  I’m sorry everyone-I know it looks
>> > simple
>> > to
>> > you
>> > but I’d rather be a junkie for the rest of my life than be
responsible
> for
>> > hurting anyone else.  And I really think throwing him out would
really
>> > hurt
>> > him.
>> >
>> >
>> > —– Original Message —– >> > From: <HSLotsof@aol.com>
>> > To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
>> > Sent: Friday, October 29, 2004 8:01 PM
>> > Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Little ol’ me
>> >
>> >
>> > Sorry Hannah, but it is you or your friend.  Your call.
>> >
>> > What dose of subutex are you taking?
>> >
>> > Howard
>> >
>> > In a message dated 10/29/04 1:04:25 PM, hannah.clay@ntlworld.com
>> > writes:
>> >
>> >>Hi everyone,
>> >
>> >>I’m feeling sorry for myself so I thought I’d write.  I’ve really
>> >>messed
>> >>up.
>> >>I was a H addict for 4yrs doing a bit of evrything else too at
>> >>times.
>> >>I
>> >>
>> >>tried to detoc lots of times.  Then I was put on Subutex and was
clean
>> >>for
>> >>
>> >>like a month (the longest I’;ve ever been clean) I keep trying
though.
>> >> Then
>> >>
>> >>my old partner in crime got chucked out onto the streets so I said
>> >>he
>> >>could
>> >>
>> >>stay with me.  But we’re etrrible influences on each other-if one’s
> being
>> >>
>> >>good then the other always seems to want to be bad.  Anyway recenty
we
>> >>got
>> >>
>> >>into Snowballs (H&Crack IV) which I’ve done lots before but never
>> > regularly.
>> >>
>> >>I love that high.  I wish I could feel like that all the time!  Now
>> > detoxing
>> >>
>> >>and just staying on my Subbies is even harder.  They don’t make me
feel
>> >>
>> >>better anymore.  I can’t tell anyone cuz they’ll chuck me off my
>> >>script.
>> >> I
>> >>
>> >>had got my life back a bit and now I’m losing what little I gained
cuz
>> >>I’m
>> >>
>> >>always sick.  Todays only Day 2 (again) with just Subbies and I feel
so
>> >>
>> >>awful 🙁  I’ve mainly slept for the past 48hrs I can’t stop shaking
>> >>and
>> >>
>> >>crying.  I’m not being sick or needing the loo too much which is a
> godsend
>> >>
>> >>(I do try to feel grateful for that) but I just feel so CRAP!  My
>> >>friend
>> >>is
>> >>
>> >>being good too though he keeps moaning and begging me to score (does
he
>> >>
>> >>think I’m made of cash?  I spent over £200 on H and rock on tues and
>> >>wed
>> >>
>> >>easy) And my dealers won’t stop ringing me.  My phones on silent now
>> >>cuz
>> >>I
>> >>
>> >>don’t feel like talking to anyone.  Sorry if my spellings bad but my
> hands
>> >>
>> >>won’t stop shaking.  Even if I scored I wouldn’t be able to get
> myself-my
>> >>
>> >>hands are so sore and swollen from missing.
>> >
>> >>Ok That’s my moaning out the way.  I guess I’ll just go back to bed.
I
>> >>just
>> >>
>> >>wanna feel good.  I never did Snowballs in company cuz I like to
really
>> >>FEEL
>> >>
>> >>it.  My n my friend meditate on it breathing deeply ooooh…… stop
>> >>
>> >>talking.  I’ve been clean before though n life was boring.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>I’m not really expecting replies I just wanted to vent.  Basically
just
>> >>
>> >>feeling sorry for myself.  I just feel like this will never end.
I’ll
>> >>never
>> >>
>> >>feel good again without drugs of one sort or nother.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>I’ll stop now.  I’m gonna make a hot sweet cup of tea.  I’d have a
> shower
>> >>
>> >>but I think i’d collapse.  Now I think about it I haven’t eaten
>> >>since
>> >>
>> >>Wednesday anyway n hardly drtunk anything.  That’s probably why I
feel
>> >>so
>> >>
>> >>weak!  I’ll try eat some soup or summat easily digestable.
>> >
>> >>Thanks for listening.
>> >>
>> >>Hannah
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>
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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: Ibogaine availablity, dosage etc
Date: November 30, 2004 at 11:17:03 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Original Message —–
From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Saturday, November 20, 2004 4:58 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: Ibogaine availablity, dosage etc

getting clean is not about good intentions or wil power. Hijacked brain by chemical terrorist.
Pray for the willingness and get a good comfortable detox. If you are not dependant and still want to boot up, then maybe you have to hit a bottom. Yet, the elevator stop at many floors. You don’t have to take it to the basement.

hang in there man. Just throw it away again. keep trying one day at a time. program or no program. Each time you don’t use even though you want to, the urge will leave quicker and you will get your personal power back.

From: “Faith Bowling” <bchloej@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801
Date: November 30, 2004 at 10:59:55 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

You love walking guilty people?  I’m not impressed.  Do you also like to sentence innocent people?

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801
Date: Tue, 30 Nov 2004 21:11:14 -0600

i am cyber moron. pen ball era. low on the curve. pre pac man and hi tech stuff, put me in a courtroom and i shine. i love walking guilty people when the judge and govt are convinced there’s a guilty coming down and they dbl team me. perverse?  you bet   i do have morals though. i d/n understand computers but am trying to learn    . i have a long ways to go. video games were something that d/n produce enough endorphins.  rather mtn bike ron sky diver , scuba cave certified.adddict—– Original Message —– From: “Patrick K. Kroupa” <digital@phantom.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 10:01 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801

On Nov 26, 2004, at 11:08 PM, Ron Davis wrote:

no program to open
—– Original Message —– From: <ibogaine-digest-help@mindvox.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 10:06 AM
Subject: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801

Ron … just to ask a crazy question, why are you signed up for the digest and the list, simultaeneously — like, all at once for instance…  If you really do want TwicE tHe FuN, and double the joy, far be it from me to argue.

When you doubleclick the digest, whatever box you are using — I’m gonna guess Windoze — does not know what to open it WITH.  It’s just a plain text file; throw it on any text editor like Notepad or whatever, and then it’ll associate that app with the digests, in the future — unless it doesn’t… In which case it won’t work at all, or partially, and only once.  After that, the only other way to get it to work is to put on magickIcaL RubY reD slipPerz and click your heels together three times and say, “I believe!”

Photoz plZ

Patrick

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_________________________________________________________________
Express yourself instantly with MSN Messenger! Download today – it’s FREE! http://messenger.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200471ave/direct/01/

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From: D H <dave@phantom.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801
Date: November 30, 2004 at 11:01:22 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

mountain biking is way better than geeking on the computer anyhow, Ron.

the first time i used a computer it freaked me out so bad it took me 6-7 more years to attempt it again. Now i can’t get away from ’em.

certified_cyber_junkie,
_.dh

On Tuesday, November 30, 2004, at 05:11 PM, Ron Davis wrote:

i am cyber moron. pen ball era. low on the curve. pre pac man and hi tech stuff, put me in a courtroom and i shine. i love walking guilty people when the judge and govt are convinced there’s a guilty coming down and they dbl team me. perverse?  you bet   i do have morals though. i d/n understand computers but am trying to learn    . i have a long ways to go. video games were something that d/n produce enough endorphins.  rather mtn bike ron sky diver , scuba cave certified.adddict

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801
Date: November 30, 2004 at 10:11:14 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

i am cyber moron. pen ball era. low on the curve. pre pac man and hi tech stuff, put me in a courtroom and i shine. i love walking guilty people when the judge and govt are convinced there’s a guilty coming down and they dbl team me. perverse?  you bet   i do have morals though. i d/n understand computers but am trying to learn    . i have a long ways to go. video games were something that d/n produce enough endorphins.  rather mtn bike ron sky diver , scuba cave certified.adddict—– Original Message —– From: “Patrick K. Kroupa” <digital@phantom.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 10:01 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801

On Nov 26, 2004, at 11:08 PM, Ron Davis wrote:

no program to open
—– Original Message —– From: <ibogaine-digest-help@mindvox.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 10:06 AM
Subject: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801

Ron … just to ask a crazy question, why are you signed up for the digest and the list, simultaeneously — like, all at once for instance…  If you really do want TwicE tHe FuN, and double the joy, far be it from me to argue.

When you doubleclick the digest, whatever box you are using — I’m gonna guess Windoze — does not know what to open it WITH.  It’s just a plain text file; throw it on any text editor like Notepad or whatever, and then it’ll associate that app with the digests, in the future — unless it doesn’t… In which case it won’t work at all, or partially, and only once.  After that, the only other way to get it to work is to put on magickIcaL RubY reD slipPerz and click your heels together three times and say, “I believe!”

Photoz plZ

Patrick

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From: “” <thethird@myway.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] To Jasen
Date: November 30, 2004 at 9:58:27 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jasen, Do you feel like sharing the details of your experience? I love reading about other people’s visions and when you have enough energy I wondered if you’d want to type it all out. I am glad that I typed up and saved the details of my experience because it helps me to remember what I saw. If it’s too personal though, I understand. I want to work with people who are using Ibogaine to kick and I want to find out some of the best things to do after the experience to make the most out of it. If you think of anything during the next few weeks that you think helped you get more out of what you went through, whether it be sitting and trying to re visualize certain parts of your visions or drawing pictures of what you saw or anything you can come up with, i would really be grateful if you would tell me what it was that helped you. Congratulations on a successful journey!

No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web – http://www.myway.com

From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] To Miss Iboga (Julie)
Date: November 30, 2004 at 6:07:44 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Giving me hope,
Keep the stories rolling on in please
Love to all on your various stages of your journies.
Big Reiki Bubbles coming to you.
Kirk
From: Jeffgd1@aol.com [mailto:Jeffgd1@aol.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, 1 December 2004 5:57 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] To Miss Iboga (Julie)

In a message dated 11/30/04 11:39:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, ms_iboga@yahoo.com writes:
As with other methods of detox, TIME is the only way
to truly recover…don’t worry, Fake Placebo: if your
TIME hasn’t come yet, it will soon…

cheers,
Julie
it sure does time is moving so so slow i have ahard time believing that relief is in sight  but i don’t crave getting high on dope and will NEVER go back on Methadone it would be a life sentence At 45 i know that this is my last shot
Iboga is simply a miracle gods gift the ancient cure thgat was waiting
feeling pretty weak still but nothing like 2 weeks ago so that aint bad
freak freely!
Jeff

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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 30, 2004 at 6:02:54 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jasen, I wish that taking Iboga was an option here, I for one would like to do some research on the differences. I think it is a problem of logistics for the reason to use Ibogaine. Hcl. doesn’t take up that much room therefore it is easier to conceal. Did you take Indra or root bark? I sure would like to see Sara at work.      Randy

From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) new book contract
Date: November 30, 2004 at 5:57:19 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>, <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi all, as I just posted (in slightly different form) on Jules Siegel’s awesome journalism list
Newsroom-L:

Because I consider everyone here compatriots and fellow travelers and even some of you good friends of mine whether we’ve met face to face or not (even if you’re not a druggie or an addict or even all that interested in anything I’m doing personally, you’re subscribed here so you rate- and I’ve always found it a bit weird this internet thing, in how I can make friends I never see face to face all over the world, much more readily that ever could be done with simply old fashioned mail, right?), I have to let loose here with a wee little bit of crowing-

I signed a new book contact today! YAAAAAAA!

I know, it sound like I’m bragging but I’m not, but I am very excited and thrilled and happy and ecstatic and overjoyed and all the rest of the emotions that come from obtaining an official contact and meager advance. (Can’t wait ’til I get one of those infamous 6 digit advances I’ve read about here and there- but don’t see that coming anytime soon anyway, darn it.)
It hasn’t a single thing to do with anything I’m known for writing and researching, like drugs or prohbition say, but it’s a topic(s) I love and have been working very hard on already these past couple of weeks (so how in the heck I can be going through the irritating hassles I’ve been putting myself as noted on the ibogaine list is beyond me still- but I’m making plans and trying to arrest my undevelopement as soon and fast as possible, including being extremely open with V again, contrary to what I wrote on the ibo list recently- if anyone on DrugWar wants more details ask and I might fill you all in).
So, if anyone here has knowlege of ancient lost civilizations, technologies and/or mysteries, I’d be more than happy to read any submissions anyone cares to submit to me between now and March 15, 2005. The book, tentatively titled “Mysterious Roots- the Disinformation Guide to Lost Civilizations, Technologies and Mysteries,” is slated for release next Fall, 2005.
Ok, thanks for letting me crow a bit here, and carry on all.
(So Paula, is this happy enough news for you? ;-)) )

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Breathing
Date: November 30, 2004 at 5:51:42 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I want to see the FACTS. Going on supposition doesn’t cut it with me. I’ve been a junkie or an alcoholic almost all of my life I think I know there are unscrupulous people in the world. I’ve been reading this list and everything else I can find about Ibogaine for a year and a half. Do I act like I don’t have the capacity to retain facts or something? I can’t cosign bullshit for anybody.           Randy

From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] War Storiez
Date: November 30, 2004 at 5:25:48 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

egad Dave.
I love you.
You are an inspiration to me, and the more I read about you, the more I think, “well, maybe it’s/I’m not hopeless afterall.”
;-))

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “D H” <dave@phantom.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2004 4:30 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] War Storiez

getting loaded behind the wheel… reminds me of copping and firing up, then driving back north in the suicide lane the the golden gate bridge, nodding out behind the wheel and plowing thru the flimsy dividing  pylons into oncoming traffic, narrowly averting head-ons. Not exactly  fun, or thoughtful. Vista point was my landing zone, if I made it there  I was safe. obviously i did, many a time. I don’t know how or why, it  was as if I were in a bullet proof bubble.

Then there was the time i went to cop from a junkie in a hotel in the tenderloin. I just had a baby habit, and was only smoking my dope on foil. I had instructions to go to the 6th floor, room 602 and knock 5 times softly. When the door opened i was horrified at what lay beyond. Piles of dirty laundry, beer cans and cigarette buts and ashes everywhere, blood stains on the wall and ceiling and it stank of detox sweat and cum and beer and cigarettes. There was a path that went from the door to the bed, and from the bed to the sink in the corner. The  rest was piled knee-waist high with junk. I was appalled anyone could  live like that. eventually, I would stay to get loaded, and when I  became homeless I crashed there. I sank lower than this person, because  I couldn’t even get it together to have a pad of my own. I would steal  his dope in a heartbeat, yet this person would lie sick for 3 days  waiting for someone to come by and send him out to cop so he could get  well. He had the integrity of a saint, which amazed me. This was a  junkie with ethics, don’t ever steal, don’t ever get off till you are  home and safe. Any bathroom or alleyway would do for me, the sooner the  better.

In the end I would scour the floor for dropped balloons when his back  was turned, and I eventually discovered he would drop thick, black  cottons between the bed and the wall for “rainy” days. I would pick  these cottons up, brushing away cock roaches and ashes and rat shit and  slam that thick black goo into my arm.

He died 4 years ago of hepC, and amazingly, after sharing the same cottons and spoons, I am hepC Free.

Oh yes, I am living on borrowed time.

_.dh

On Tuesday, November 30, 2004, at 10:47 AM, Preston Peet wrote:

yeah, getting off in traffic was (almost) always fun too, although I  was usually in the back of a cab. Oh goodness, one time I did my  speedball, then had a complete psychotic breakdown, with huge  cockroaches streaming from the trash on the floor, which due to the  stormy rainy day outside was full of a puddle. So I freaked out,  trying to grab all the bugs from off my face while feeling them  storming up the insides of my pants and sweater sleeves. That wasn’t  fun at all. I tried to get indignant when we pulled into our stop and  my rig was sitting in plain sight on the floor, floating in  aforementioned puddle. “That’s awful, why don’t you clean you cab man?  I coulda been stabbed!”
He glared at me and said, “That’s yours and get outta my cab.”
Oh well.

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

Hi Preston, I read of the thrill you received doing speedballs in the Diner,
I understand. My favorite place was on the freeway in 5 o’clock rush
hour-speedway traffic, to see if I could “keep-it-together, I had a fast car
at the time and could get a vein with out too much challenge.
brad

—–Original Message—–
From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet@nyc.rr.com]
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 8:02 AM
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA
+ ? Hannah

Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in  blood
crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I
remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally  against H.
My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog  shit and
old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am
I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
and what I consider normal now.
Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.<

This is EXACTLY what I was writing about earlier, the notes like this one
Hannah. I can totally and completely empathize and am really heartily
wishing you well, sending you strength and courage. You are how old please,
if you don’t mind my asking? I think you mentioned it just the other day
(23?- because I remember responding to someone noting that age here  and
think it mighta been you) but I’m not sure. Regardless, as bad as it seems
now, it can get worse, and it can definitely get better. I’m sure you know
that, irregardless of how awful it can seem when sitting there trying to get
a vein (oh my god, I can remember doing what you’ve described here,  but not
only in the privacy of someone’s apartment or squat but also, more often
than not actually, doing this exact same vein hunt in stairwells, allyways,
parkbenches, behind garbage cans, cafe bathrooms, diner tables, etc, etc. I
mean, there were times I’d have a great vein, usually a teeny one  that I’d
managed to find just the right angle to hit it with, making shooting  up in
public, at diner tables as mentioned (one of my very favorite places  to
shoot up used to be in very public places like diners, right at the table,
as that gave me that extra adrenaline boost. Of course, it was often  an
interesting experience in that when speedballing, I’d feel the cocaine
first, so would be sitting there first witht that roaring in my ears, then
bugs all over me while trying to figure out which person in the diner was
NOT a cop.
Boy oh boy, what fun that was!

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: Hannah Clay
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 6:56 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Hannah

I actually found a leaflet once at a rave that referred to people taking
Prozac recreationally as a kind of weak MDMA (I’ll refer to it as X from now
on).  Weird.  I’ve always found that ADs suppress the effects of X  and I’ve
been on a few.  Its a bummer.

I love going to raves but since I’ve been into H (the past 5yrs) (and I’m
23) I hardly go out at all.  Sean said something about isolation,  well I
live as a complete hermit at the moment and the more I don’t see people, the
more I don’t want to see them.  Luckily I live with my boyf and we’re
putting my partner in crime up at the moment so I have to see them!

Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me  luck! I
want to get going out again but I do find the come-downs hard without gear.
I’m trying to get hold of some Valium just so I have something to  just help
me chill out.  I don’t like raves without X though cuz I don’t like  the
music without!  On X I love Techno.  I’m lucky cuz some of my friends are
travellers and know lots of squatters down London and they always  know where
the best free parties are 🙂  I live in a little town where the  clubs are
all crap ‘towny’ straight places with cheesy music.

The X powder is lovely cuz it isn’t speedy, just warm loveliness but  it
isn’t always great for partying cuz you just wanna sit down.  Then we mix it
with speed (!).  When I first discovered X when I was 17 I thought it was
the greatest thing in the world-I just couldn’t stop smiling.  But  the pills
just don’t do the same anymore-I don’t know if the pills are crap now or if
you just get a tolerance real quick.  Then again, even when I’m  fucked I’ll
still claim I’m straight and need more-I’m just never satisfied.

I just wish I’d never tried H and I’d be in a VERY different position now.

Last night I did this mornings hit thinking I’d just score as soon as  I woke
up today.  Instead I slept all day so woke up really sick.  I call my dealer
and nothing for a couple of hours so total panic.  Luckily a friend came
over and sorted me out.  But my veins are non-existent so then it  takes
hours to get myself.  I thought I’d got it first time but hit my  artery so
my right hand swelled up and I was in agony.  Luckily a couple of friends
were around to help but they tried for 2hrs and couldn’t get me-I  felt like
a pin cushion, in my hands, arms, neck, fingers, feet 🙁  I had to
muscle-bang it in the end.  And since I’ve been doing rock and gear  the past
week I hadn’t showered or anything so was embarrassingly grubby.  My veins
just wouldn’t give up any blood!  None of the women in my family can give
blood cuz they can’t get blood out of us so I really chose the wrong
profession!  Anyway so I’m sat there just thinking what have I done to
myself?  Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours  covered in
blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in  lumps. I
remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally  against H.
My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and
old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking  what am I
doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
and what I consider normal now.

Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.  I’ve got to sort  myself out.
I just can’t believe I keep doing this to myself.  Why do we keep  doing
this?  I’ve hit rockbottom I really have.  And the last couple of yrs  I had
improved, I’d cut down and started socialising but the past couple of months
I’ve been out of control.  I’ve been going in my fingers and when I  had to
go to A&E for my abscess the Doc told me I could easily lose my hands if I
kept doing this. I can’t believe I know that and keep doing it!  Its like
that definition of insanity, I am insane.

But I’m gonna try (again) to be clean.  After I’ve just had one more hit….

Love to everyone, you’re my inspiration.
Hannah

PS: Sorry Julie I’ve gone well off-topic!  Hopefully I’ll have far  more
partying tales in a few weeks and none of this shit. 🙂

—– Original Message —–
From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:37 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Hannah

Hannah,

you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
gay guys know how to party !!

I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
is!!

I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
refer to the last sentence of the previous
paragraph…

love Julie 🙂

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Oslo
Date: November 30, 2004 at 5:24:08 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

no but I lived in Bergen for almost a year (where I was first introduced to speed- but though thye people who introduced me were shooting it I was not- my needle use came later, although I had experience from hospitalization with lots and lots and lots of needles already, perhaps being a major reason why I took so long to pick one up myself), and was married to a Norweigan woman for a couple of years. (Thank god she left me, or who knows where and with whom I’d be today.)
;-))

Peace and love,
Preston
“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: Dana Beal
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2004 4:19 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Oslo

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-heroin29nov29,0,2616070.story?coll=la-home-headlines

Anyone on this list from Norway??

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From: “booker w” <swbooker@hotmail.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Low dose Ibogaine Sessions
Date: November 30, 2004 at 4:57:02 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Lee.  I am interested in experimenting with low-dose eboga and am wondering what a low-dose session is typically like.  Do you still find the need to lay down and be perfectly still and does it consume the whole day, etc.  You mentioned low doses at around 5 mg/kg, but at that dose I feel like I’ve taken a “big dose.”  They say women are often more sensitive to ibogaine, and I feel that that is certainly true for me. I would probably take far smaller amounts.  Anyway, any answers appreciated…
Best, Sandy
PS – Randy I think you are spot-on about Ms. Mash.  When I experienced some physical symptoms after my third ibo session I talked to her and she of course tried to convince me that it must not’ve been real ibogaine, and why would I take the chance in the “underground!”  I think she tries to discredit anyone but her own place, which spells dollars for her, and certainly goes against the spirit of Eboga I think too.  The idea that someone was left for dead in a hotel by an ibogaine provider sounds utterly ludicrous to me.  Hope someone does write the LA Times…

>From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>

>Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

>To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

>Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?

>Date: Mon, 29 Nov 2004 14:47:09 +0000 (GMT)

>

>Dear “not so slow” Slowone

>

>Thank you very much for your reply. Very interesting indeed.

>

>In my own case (apart from 3 therapeutic MDMA sessions after my first eboga experience) I have based the past 6 years of my journey on the sacramental use of eboga to travel the inner recesses of my psyche and encounter the hidden demons of my past. I have unlocked practically every door (I am presently aware of) within me and have experienced nothing short of miraculous recovery. I eagerly look forward to completing the 3 books I am working on to share all the details of what I have experienced.

>

>So I have not felt any need to enter the world of ayahuasca. However from what you write it is definitely something I will explore at some stage. Forgive me if I say (what some may take as heresy) but I find eboga to be a complete cure when used with the right intention, a sufficiently discerning mind and a heart that seeks as its ultimate goal a deep experience of love. Why?

>

>Because it is very much spiritually guided and events in one life fall into place to move the process along if one is willing to undergo the changes and take the risks.

>

>I like what you say about eboga and how it brings you in contact with specific deep issues. (I assume we are talking about low doses here) It confirms exactly what I am trying to promote in my writings: the use of eboga to resolve childhood trauma and abuse and to advance ones spirituality via the growth of consciousness which ensues.

>

>There is absolutely no doubt that ongoing use of eboga is both surprising and humbling. It is also wonderfully liberating.

>

>The part I find interesting for myself is how I went from a scientific agnostic to a believer & admirer of the God and the Goddess. Two great kind (non imposing) and generous entities in my opinon. You could say the perfect parents. And yet with them I sense a humility which accepts me lovingly as I am and allows me to grow from there. Its almost like a growing friendship.

>

>Good idea to use as an adjunct to therapy.

>

>One observation I would make on the healing action of eboga is this. A particular emotion such as abandonment, loss of a loved one etc can be resolved (when the time is right) by an experience of accelerated healing with eboga. By that I mean, the concentration of all the pain is oosed out of the psyche like the puss from a boil and that is something which conventional therapy imo cannot do. That is why I recommend to anyone who is interested in full recovery to invest time and trust in its healing ways. It has many miracles to offer.

>

>Love & Peace

>

>Lee

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From: D H <dave@phantom.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] War Storiez
Date: November 30, 2004 at 4:30:13 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

getting loaded behind the wheel… reminds me of copping and firing up, then driving back north in the suicide lane the the golden gate bridge, nodding out behind the wheel and plowing thru the flimsy dividing pylons into oncoming traffic, narrowly averting head-ons. Not exactly fun, or thoughtful. Vista point was my landing zone, if I made it there I was safe. obviously i did, many a time. I don’t know how or why, it was as if I were in a bullet proof bubble.

Then there was the time i went to cop from a junkie in a hotel in the tenderloin. I just had a baby habit, and was only smoking my dope on foil. I had instructions to go to the 6th floor, room 602 and knock 5 times softly. When the door opened i was horrified at what lay beyond. Piles of dirty laundry, beer cans and cigarette buts and ashes everywhere, blood stains on the wall and ceiling and it stank of detox sweat and cum and beer and cigarettes. There was a path that went from the door to the bed, and from the bed to the sink in the corner. The rest was piled knee-waist high with junk. I was appalled anyone could live like that. eventually, I would stay to get loaded, and when I became homeless I crashed there. I sank lower than this person, because I couldn’t even get it together to have a pad of my own. I would steal his dope in a heartbeat, yet this person would lie sick for 3 days waiting for someone to come by and send him out to cop so he could get well. He had the integrity of a saint, which amazed me. This was a junkie with ethics, don’t ever steal, don’t ever get off till you are home and safe. Any bathroom or alleyway would do for me, the sooner the better.

In the end I would scour the floor for dropped balloons when his back was turned, and I eventually discovered he would drop thick, black cottons between the bed and the wall for “rainy” days. I would pick these cottons up, brushing away cock roaches and ashes and rat shit and slam that thick black goo into my arm.

He died 4 years ago of hepC, and amazingly, after sharing the same cottons and spoons, I am hepC Free.

Oh yes, I am living on borrowed time.

_.dh

On Tuesday, November 30, 2004, at 10:47 AM, Preston Peet wrote:

yeah, getting off in traffic was (almost) always fun too, although I was usually in the back of a cab. Oh goodness, one time I did my speedball, then had a complete psychotic breakdown, with huge cockroaches streaming from the trash on the floor, which due to the stormy rainy day outside was full of a puddle. So I freaked out, trying to grab all the bugs from off my face while feeling them storming up the insides of my pants and sweater sleeves. That wasn’t fun at all. I tried to get indignant when we pulled into our stop and my rig was sitting in plain sight on the floor, floating in aforementioned puddle. “That’s awful, why don’t you clean you cab man? I coulda been stabbed!”
He glared at me and said, “That’s yours and get outta my cab.”
Oh well.

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

Hi Preston, I read of the thrill you received doing speedballs in the Diner,
I understand. My favorite place was on the freeway in 5 o’clock rush
hour-speedway traffic, to see if I could “keep-it-together, I had a fast car
at the time and could get a vein with out too much challenge.
brad

—–Original Message—–
From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet@nyc.rr.com]
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 8:02 AM
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA
+ ? Hannah

Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in blood
crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I
remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.
My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and
old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am
I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
and what I consider normal now.
Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.<

This is EXACTLY what I was writing about earlier, the notes like this one
Hannah. I can totally and completely empathize and am really heartily
wishing you well, sending you strength and courage. You are how old please,
if you don’t mind my asking? I think you mentioned it just the other day
(23?- because I remember responding to someone noting that age here and
think it mighta been you) but I’m not sure. Regardless, as bad as it seems
now, it can get worse, and it can definitely get better. I’m sure you know
that, irregardless of how awful it can seem when sitting there trying to get
a vein (oh my god, I can remember doing what you’ve described here, but not
only in the privacy of someone’s apartment or squat but also, more often
than not actually, doing this exact same vein hunt in stairwells, allyways,
parkbenches, behind garbage cans, cafe bathrooms, diner tables, etc, etc. I
mean, there were times I’d have a great vein, usually a teeny one that I’d
managed to find just the right angle to hit it with, making shooting up in
public, at diner tables as mentioned (one of my very favorite places to
shoot up used to be in very public places like diners, right at the table,
as that gave me that extra adrenaline boost. Of course, it was often an
interesting experience in that when speedballing, I’d feel the cocaine
first, so would be sitting there first witht that roaring in my ears, then
bugs all over me while trying to figure out which person in the diner was
NOT a cop.
Boy oh boy, what fun that was!

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: Hannah Clay
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 6:56 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Hannah

I actually found a leaflet once at a rave that referred to people taking
Prozac recreationally as a kind of weak MDMA (I’ll refer to it as X from now
on).  Weird.  I’ve always found that ADs suppress the effects of X and I’ve
been on a few.  Its a bummer.

I love going to raves but since I’ve been into H (the past 5yrs) (and I’m
23) I hardly go out at all.  Sean said something about isolation, well I
live as a complete hermit at the moment and the more I don’t see people, the
more I don’t want to see them.  Luckily I live with my boyf and we’re
putting my partner in crime up at the moment so I have to see them!

Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!  I
want to get going out again but I do find the come-downs hard without gear.
I’m trying to get hold of some Valium just so I have something to just help
me chill out.  I don’t like raves without X though cuz I don’t like the
music without!  On X I love Techno.  I’m lucky cuz some of my friends are
travellers and know lots of squatters down London and they always know where
the best free parties are 🙂  I live in a little town where the clubs are
all crap ‘towny’ straight places with cheesy music.

The X powder is lovely cuz it isn’t speedy, just warm loveliness but it
isn’t always great for partying cuz you just wanna sit down.  Then we mix it
with speed (!).  When I first discovered X when I was 17 I thought it was
the greatest thing in the world-I just couldn’t stop smiling.  But the pills
just don’t do the same anymore-I don’t know if the pills are crap now or if
you just get a tolerance real quick.  Then again, even when I’m fucked I’ll
still claim I’m straight and need more-I’m just never satisfied.

I just wish I’d never tried H and I’d be in a VERY different position now.

Last night I did this mornings hit thinking I’d just score as soon as I woke
up today.  Instead I slept all day so woke up really sick.  I call my dealer
and nothing for a couple of hours so total panic.  Luckily a friend came
over and sorted me out.  But my veins are non-existent so then it takes
hours to get myself.  I thought I’d got it first time but hit my artery so
my right hand swelled up and I was in agony.  Luckily a couple of friends
were around to help but they tried for 2hrs and couldn’t get me-I felt like
a pin cushion, in my hands, arms, neck, fingers, feet 🙁  I had to
muscle-bang it in the end.  And since I’ve been doing rock and gear the past
week I hadn’t showered or anything so was embarrassingly grubby.  My veins
just wouldn’t give up any blood!  None of the women in my family can give
blood cuz they can’t get blood out of us so I really chose the wrong
profession!  Anyway so I’m sat there just thinking what have I done to
myself?  Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in
blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I
remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.
My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and
old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am I
doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
and what I consider normal now.

Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.  I’ve got to sort myself out.
I just can’t believe I keep doing this to myself.  Why do we keep doing
this?  I’ve hit rockbottom I really have.  And the last couple of yrs I had
improved, I’d cut down and started socialising but the past couple of months
I’ve been out of control.  I’ve been going in my fingers and when I had to
go to A&E for my abscess the Doc told me I could easily lose my hands if I
kept doing this. I can’t believe I know that and keep doing it!  Its like
that definition of insanity, I am insane.

But I’m gonna try (again) to be clean.  After I’ve just had one more hit….

Love to everyone, you’re my inspiration.
Hannah

PS: Sorry Julie I’ve gone well off-topic!  Hopefully I’ll have far more
partying tales in a few weeks and none of this shit. 🙂

—– Original Message —–
From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:37 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Hannah

Hannah,

you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
gay guys know how to party !!

I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
is!!

I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
refer to the last sentence of the previous
paragraph…

love Julie 🙂

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: Dana Beal <dana@phantom.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Oslo
Date: November 30, 2004 at 4:19:12 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-heroin29nov29,0,2616070.story?coll=la-home-headlines

Anyone on this list from Norway??

From: Dana Beal <dana@phantom.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] special problems in treating for crystal
Date: November 30, 2004 at 3:58:22 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

We were addressing three questions regarding treatment of stimulants with ibogaine::

Any difference from an treatment for opiates as regards dose size or regimen?

What special aftercare if any?

What was the success rate?

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah
Date: November 30, 2004 at 3:47:32 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

yeah, getting off in traffic was (almost) always fun too, although I was usually in the back of a cab. Oh goodness, one time I did my speedball, then had a complete psychotic breakdown, with huge cockroaches streaming from the trash on the floor, which due to the stormy rainy day outside was full of a puddle. So I freaked out, trying to grab all the bugs from off my face while feeling them storming up the insides of my pants and sweater sleeves. That wasn’t fun at all. I tried to get indignant when we pulled into our stop and my rig was sitting in plain sight on the floor, floating in aforementioned puddle. “That’s awful, why don’t you clean you cab man? I coulda been stabbed!”
He glared at me and said, “That’s yours and get outta my cab.”
Oh well.

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Brad Fisher” <brad.fisher@guaranty.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2004 10:11 AM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

Hi Preston, I read of the thrill you received doing speedballs in the Diner,
I understand. My favorite place was on the freeway in 5 o’clock rush
hour-speedway traffic, to see if I could “keep-it-together, I had a fast car
at the time and could get a vein with out too much challenge.
brad

—–Original Message—–
From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet@nyc.rr.com]
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 8:02 AM
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA
+ ? Hannah

Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in blood
crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I
remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.
My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and
old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am
I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
and what I consider normal now.
Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.<

This is EXACTLY what I was writing about earlier, the notes like this one
Hannah. I can totally and completely empathize and am really heartily
wishing you well, sending you strength and courage. You are how old please,
if you don’t mind my asking? I think you mentioned it just the other day
(23?- because I remember responding to someone noting that age here and
think it mighta been you) but I’m not sure. Regardless, as bad as it seems
now, it can get worse, and it can definitely get better. I’m sure you know
that, irregardless of how awful it can seem when sitting there trying to get
a vein (oh my god, I can remember doing what you’ve described here, but not
only in the privacy of someone’s apartment or squat but also, more often
than not actually, doing this exact same vein hunt in stairwells, allyways,
parkbenches, behind garbage cans, cafe bathrooms, diner tables, etc, etc. I
mean, there were times I’d have a great vein, usually a teeny one that I’d
managed to find just the right angle to hit it with, making shooting up in
public, at diner tables as mentioned (one of my very favorite places to
shoot up used to be in very public places like diners, right at the table,
as that gave me that extra adrenaline boost. Of course, it was often an
interesting experience in that when speedballing, I’d feel the cocaine
first, so would be sitting there first witht that roaring in my ears, then
bugs all over me while trying to figure out which person in the diner was
NOT a cop.
Boy oh boy, what fun that was!

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: Hannah Clay
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 6:56 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Hannah

I actually found a leaflet once at a rave that referred to people taking
Prozac recreationally as a kind of weak MDMA (I’ll refer to it as X from now
on).  Weird.  I’ve always found that ADs suppress the effects of X and I’ve
been on a few.  Its a bummer.

I love going to raves but since I’ve been into H (the past 5yrs) (and I’m
23) I hardly go out at all.  Sean said something about isolation, well I
live as a complete hermit at the moment and the more I don’t see people, the
more I don’t want to see them.  Luckily I live with my boyf and we’re
putting my partner in crime up at the moment so I have to see them!

Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!  I
want to get going out again but I do find the come-downs hard without gear.
I’m trying to get hold of some Valium just so I have something to just help
me chill out.  I don’t like raves without X though cuz I don’t like the
music without!  On X I love Techno.  I’m lucky cuz some of my friends are
travellers and know lots of squatters down London and they always know where
the best free parties are 🙂  I live in a little town where the clubs are
all crap ‘towny’ straight places with cheesy music.

The X powder is lovely cuz it isn’t speedy, just warm loveliness but it
isn’t always great for partying cuz you just wanna sit down.  Then we mix it
with speed (!).  When I first discovered X when I was 17 I thought it was
the greatest thing in the world-I just couldn’t stop smiling.  But the pills
just don’t do the same anymore-I don’t know if the pills are crap now or if
you just get a tolerance real quick.  Then again, even when I’m fucked I’ll
still claim I’m straight and need more-I’m just never satisfied.

I just wish I’d never tried H and I’d be in a VERY different position now.

Last night I did this mornings hit thinking I’d just score as soon as I woke
up today.  Instead I slept all day so woke up really sick.  I call my dealer
and nothing for a couple of hours so total panic.  Luckily a friend came
over and sorted me out.  But my veins are non-existent so then it takes
hours to get myself.  I thought I’d got it first time but hit my artery so
my right hand swelled up and I was in agony.  Luckily a couple of friends
were around to help but they tried for 2hrs and couldn’t get me-I felt like
a pin cushion, in my hands, arms, neck, fingers, feet 🙁  I had to
muscle-bang it in the end.  And since I’ve been doing rock and gear the past
week I hadn’t showered or anything so was embarrassingly grubby.  My veins
just wouldn’t give up any blood!  None of the women in my family can give
blood cuz they can’t get blood out of us so I really chose the wrong
profession!  Anyway so I’m sat there just thinking what have I done to
myself?  Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in
blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I
remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.
My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and
old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am I
doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
and what I consider normal now.

Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.  I’ve got to sort myself out.
I just can’t believe I keep doing this to myself.  Why do we keep doing
this?  I’ve hit rockbottom I really have.  And the last couple of yrs I had
improved, I’d cut down and started socialising but the past couple of months
I’ve been out of control.  I’ve been going in my fingers and when I had to
go to A&E for my abscess the Doc told me I could easily lose my hands if I
kept doing this. I can’t believe I know that and keep doing it!  Its like
that definition of insanity, I am insane.

But I’m gonna try (again) to be clean.  After I’ve just had one more hit….

Love to everyone, you’re my inspiration.
Hannah

PS: Sorry Julie I’ve gone well off-topic!  Hopefully I’ll have far more
partying tales in a few weeks and none of this shit. 🙂

—– Original Message —–
From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:37 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Hannah

Hannah,

you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
gay guys know how to party !!

I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
is!!

I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
refer to the last sentence of the previous
paragraph…

love Julie 🙂

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Jasen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: November 30, 2004 at 3:13:53 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/30/04 1:24:05 PM, sara119@xs4all.nl writes:

We have known each other before
Julie,I say this with the utmost respect,I feel I know
Randy,Sean,Howard,Martee,preston and wife and others on this list it’s
quite
odd.
Will talk soon Smiles Jasen.

Well Jasen,

We could all say we have been waiting for you. Now is this a religious
epiphany or just a science fiction scenario?  mmmmmm?

Have you checked out Amsterdam as Dave suggested?  One of the art museums
could be a really interesting tour.

I would love to have some idea of your visions though email is fine if they
are too personal and that is not rare at all.

Howard

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From: Jeffgd1@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] To Miss Iboga (Julie)
Date: November 30, 2004 at 11:56:39 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/30/04 11:39:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, ms_iboga@yahoo.com writes:
As with other methods of detox, TIME is the only way
to truly recover…don’t worry, Fake Placebo: if your
TIME hasn’t come yet, it will soon…

cheers,
Julie
it sure does time is moving so so slow i have ahard time believing that relief is in sight  but i don’t crave getting high on dope and will NEVER go back on Methadone it would be a life sentence At 45 i know that this is my last shot
Iboga is simply a miracle gods gift the ancient cure thgat was waiting
feeling pretty weak still but nothing like 2 weeks ago so that aint bad
freak freely!
Jeff

From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: November 30, 2004 at 11:40:43 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jasen,

Glad to hear you are well.  You know, it’s
weird…I’ve kinda lost track of time.  I couldn’t
tell you exactly how long it has been since my
treatment!  I know it was about 2-3 weeks after Randy,
so maybe it’s 6 weeks, maybe 8.  The big physical
transformation from ‘sick’ to ‘well’ occurred between
the 3rd and 4th week-ironically, it was around this
time that all the damned methadone was FINALLY out of
my system!

Jasen, this next week is going to provide you with
revelations you won’t believe.  As soon as you feel
well enough, go explore a new country- hell, you could
even chill in Amsterdam for a bit.  Scarf some french
fries with mayonnaise(yummy!), check out some of the
sex museums or hash bars…the world’s your oyster.

I’m interested to hear some of your insights…when
you’re ready, send me a note, and we can swap some
stories….

love Julie 🙂

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Take Yahoo! Mail with you! Get it on your mobile phone.
http://mobile.yahoo.com/maildemo

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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] To Miss Iboga (Julie)
Date: November 30, 2004 at 11:26:50 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi FP,

Hi, How are you?  In short, I feel great.  Still
haven’t touched any opiates, and have no real desire
to do so.  However, I believe that is due only in part
to the noribogaine that may or may not be floating
around my system- I really wanted to quit.  My
body/mind was tired, dare I say DISGUSTED, by the
whole scene, and I believe this realization is making
opiate abstinence quite easy right now.

I had energy/fatigue problems for the first 2-3 weeks,
but my body has since normalized, and I feel pretty
good overall.  Sleep issues are a whole different
story altogether- I STILL have sleep disturbances.  My
doc told me it can take months to normalize (something
about opiates acting on the area of the brain that
regulates sleep.

In terms of personality changes, I feel a lot more,
um, RAW- nothing is filtered out anymore.  Every
beautiful situation, every annoying and ugly one- I
embrace each and every moment with the naivete of a 5
year old.

I would say I also stick up for myself more now,
without the aid of rose-tinted, opiated glasses.  I
have an aunt who used to send me the most ridiculous,
right-wing, Christian fundamentalist propaganda,
almost on a daily basis.  It annoyed the fuck out of
me.  Well, needless to say, I critically ‘dissected’
the last piece of clap-trap, and LO AND BEHOLD: no
more Christian, exclusionist dogma forwarded to my
Inbox.

As with other methods of detox, TIME is the only way
to truly recover…don’t worry, Fake Placebo: if your
TIME hasn’t come yet, it will soon…

cheers,
Julie

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: November 30, 2004 at 10:55:49 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey Julie,
Yes you are righ, 12 to 15 days I started to get more energy.
I am booked to go home on the 12th of December.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW Julie,how long has it been?

I would love to go to Greece or Italy I will wait and see what the energy is
like,how I FEEL.It was great getting a long email of you.
When I get home I will be able to write better emails of my computer.
The relavations I have had are so clear,some I don’t dare mention on the
web.
We have known each other before
Julie,I say this with the utmost respect,I feel I know
Randy,Sean,Howard,Martee,preston and wife and others on this list it’s quite
odd.
Will talk soon Smiles Jasen.

—–Oorspronkelijk bericht—–
Van: Ms Iboga [mailto:ms_iboga@yahoo.com]
Verzonden: zaterdag 27 november 2004 16:01
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: [Ibogaine]
Jasen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jasen,

How are you, kiddo???  It’s so great that you’re up
and around…how ya feelin’?  Day 12 is great- just to
let you know, it was around day 12-15 that I started
to come out of the thick of it.  I know time may seem
like it’s passing excruciatingly slow, but don’t
worry…the next thing you know, a whole month will
have passed, and you’ll be catching a train to Paris
or Barcelona.  If you hit Spain, make sure you check
out Gaudi’s architecture- it’ll blow your mind.

I second your idea about detoxing from heroin/short
acting opiate…methadone is a real heinous entity to
detox from- I mean, how can you truly feel better when
that shite lingers in your body for so long?  You’re
so lucky you have Sara to take care of you, as I
believe she really knows what she’s doing.  She has
given me a few excellent suggestions and healing
techniques.

Have you decided when you will venture out into the
world?  Europe is so lovely…if I were you, I would
head to the southern parts- there is nothing as awful
as shivering from the cold weather, when you are
‘shivering’ on the inside, if you know what I mean.

If you’re feeling really adventurous, why not venture
to somewhere exotic and gorgeous like Morocco?  You
can catch a ferry across the Gibraltar strait, and
boom- you’re in Northern Africa!!!  When I was in
Lisboa(which is also incredibly gorgeous), the only
thing keeping me from making the trek was my slim,
exhausted pocketbook…Do it Jasen, this is a perfect
time for you to travel…your mind is fresh,
unfettered, unencumbered by the haze of opiates..

Or how about Greece?  Filo pastry and flaming Ouzo
make for a lovely distraction…BTW, how much longer
are you planning to stay in Europe?  Do you have any
work deadlines?  When do you return to Aus?

My thoughts are with you on your journey.  The first
2-3 weeks are the hardest, but it DOES get better,
don’t worry.  Take care of your body and your mind…
And please drop me a line when you find the time….

love Julie 🙂

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail – Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail

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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen unbored
Date: November 30, 2004 at 10:40:22 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hello Howard,
Thanks for the call it was good to hear your kind voice.
I plan to Feng Shui Sara’s,I even brought my compass.
At the moment however I am too mentally,emoitionaly,physically and
spiritually exhausted,though better than a few days ago.

Explaining what I mean by boredom.
Wanting to do something and not having the mental or physical energy to do
it.Being in a forien country by myself,missing home.I understand it is a
part of it however to me it is,”wanting to jump out of my skin at times then
it passes.Time is going 4 times as slow,1 hour feels like 4.I miss
company,especially female,not meaning sexual,just company,flirting laughing.

Hey, I over the worst of it. Smiles Jasen

—–Oorspronkelijk bericht—–
Van: HSLotsof@aol.com [mailto:HSLotsof@aol.com]
Verzonden: zaterdag 27 november 2004 19:53
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: [Ibogaine] Jasen unbored

Jasen,

Why don’t you unbore yourself by feng shuiing sara’s place.  Is her house
feng shui?  Will Sara let you do it?  Great tasks await great men and women.

Howard

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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 30, 2004 at 10:28:14 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey Randy,
Thanks for the feedback
Planning to get very busy with work when I get back home. I tell you what,I am home sick.
It would be interesting to hear if the people that reported being raped and or sacrificed whilst under this
Treatment to see if It was only with the ibogaine. and not Iboga.Because at the risk of sounding like I’m off my head,I had strong revelations about a few things,one of being,If you want to disrespect the spirit of eboga and think you can improve on what god has already perfected,then just by taking the one ‘working element”;I think you rape the plantby taking the Ibogaine and sacrificing the rest. and sacrifice the whole for a part of what was made wholly by alfa and omega,I believe the whole plant should be taken,otherwise it is a sacrilidge and you won’t get the full benefit.If only natural and scientific docters could work together respecting each others knowing. Wow ,could you Imagine a clinic set up by a few of you together, Science and natural medicine working together.THIS IS DAY 15, I am still fatigued and a bit scrambelled,low energy,though better than a few days ago. I thought I was dying,like seriously,, I tell you what.it frightened me. .
Low blood pressure,I think,but then maybe that is nessecarry so to take blood pressure tablets could affect the effect of the Iboga.

Getting tired,mentally tired. Love you guys Smiles Jasen.
Van: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Verzonden: zondag 28 november 2004 18:01
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: RE: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Hi from Jasen, he has no energy to write , but he likes to thanks everyone for being so kind and thinking of him.

Sara

Van: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com] 
Verzonden: zaterdag 27 november 2004 16:29
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Jasen, If I had the cash I’d be right there with you. Someday soon. What have you got planned when you get back down under? I’d sure like to see Australia sometime. You being bored is a good sign. Life awaits you my friend. Kick it’s …. you know what I mean. Be ready, cause I found it hard sometimes because people I knew didn’t know how to take the clean and positive Randy. It is already better for me. The ones who matter think Ibogaine is a miracle. I’ve never gone this long without court pressure and the people who care about me are pretty much amazed. It takes a little while for them to get used to it. Remember, your the one who changed. Give them time to get used to it and don’t freak out like I did. You are most definitely the man now. Run with it. Peace and much love.     Randy

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] received message & Treatment
Date: November 30, 2004 at 10:16:06 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

lee:
thanks for the note and compasssion expressed in it. my goal is to b treated by aan md on an outpatient basis that understands benzos.  from what i hear, ibo is not the magic bullet b/c of the different receptors involved.  i’m no expert and simply recount my readins and info obtained from others more knowlegeable than me in this field.  i’ve done it all over the yrs. but this benzo thing is spooky..w/ds can kill you.  all the other stuff just made me wish i were dead.
so, i am hesistant.  i may have stumbled across someone , much  more knowledgeable than i who can help.  i appreciate all the support from people on the list. wishing you a peaceful path, ron
—– Original Message —–
From: Lee Albert
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 9:03 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] received message & Treatment

Ron,

I imagine internet servers (which route emails) do all kind of weird and wonderful things. Clearly you are receiving messages and sending. If some are bounced it probably doesn’t make a lot of difference as they keep reappearing anyway. Unles there is a specific message you are looking for?

Forgive me if I ask and I ask with all due respect. Have you made a full action plan for yourself yet? I did read somewhere where you were attempting to taper. Hows that going? Where do you go from there?

From what i have read you have received pretty much all the advice anyone can give you here on the list. So the best this list can do for you right now is to send words of support your way.

If I were in your shoes I would decide whether or not to be treated and then I would probably contact Sara (who has the most open ended & creative treatment available) and who can take care of you even if the treatment is not successful. (You wrote once you would get on a plane tomorrow if you thought the treatment would be successful). Amsterdam has got to be the one place in the world where you can receive practically any kind of drug related assistance necessary. So you are not going to die from the lack of a fix – if it comes to that.

Sara also has pure ibogaine – as far as I know.

So how about it? You have nothing to lose.

I keep my fingers crossed that you decide to go for it and get on that plane and get out of the scary corner you seem to be living in – which it seems is paralysing you from acting on your own behalf.

Love & Light to You

Lee

Ron Davis <rwd3@cox.net> wrote:
i do not know what bouncing means.  does it mean someone is reading my email? i have security.  please clue me in.  i know very little about computers and what all this means.  i here looking for a way to get and stay straight and save my life.  please help me understand what’s going on.  ron..at work today

http://www.my-eboga.com

Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Moving house? Beach bar in Thailand? New Wardrobe? Win £10k with Yahoo! Mail to make your dream a reality.

From: “Brad Fisher” <brad.fisher@guaranty.com>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah
Date: November 30, 2004 at 10:11:41 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Preston, I read of the thrill you received doing speedballs in the Diner,
I understand. My favorite place was on the freeway in 5 o’clock rush
hour-speedway traffic, to see if I could “keep-it-together, I had a fast car
at the time and could get a vein with out too much challenge.
brad

—–Original Message—–
From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet@nyc.rr.com]
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 8:02 AM
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA
+ ? Hannah

Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in blood
crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I
remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.
My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and
old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am
I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
and what I consider normal now.
Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.<

This is EXACTLY what I was writing about earlier, the notes like this one
Hannah. I can totally and completely empathize and am really heartily
wishing you well, sending you strength and courage. You are how old please,
if you don’t mind my asking? I think you mentioned it just the other day
(23?- because I remember responding to someone noting that age here and
think it mighta been you) but I’m not sure. Regardless, as bad as it seems
now, it can get worse, and it can definitely get better. I’m sure you know
that, irregardless of how awful it can seem when sitting there trying to get
a vein (oh my god, I can remember doing what you’ve described here, but not
only in the privacy of someone’s apartment or squat but also, more often
than not actually, doing this exact same vein hunt in stairwells, allyways,
parkbenches, behind garbage cans, cafe bathrooms, diner tables, etc, etc. I
mean, there were times I’d have a great vein, usually a teeny one that I’d
managed to find just the right angle to hit it with, making shooting up in
public, at diner tables as mentioned (one of my very favorite places to
shoot up used to be in very public places like diners, right at the table,
as that gave me that extra adrenaline boost. Of course, it was often an
interesting experience in that when speedballing, I’d feel the cocaine
first, so would be sitting there first witht that roaring in my ears, then
bugs all over me while trying to figure out which person in the diner was
NOT a cop.
Boy oh boy, what fun that was!

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: Hannah Clay
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 6:56 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Hannah

I actually found a leaflet once at a rave that referred to people taking
Prozac recreationally as a kind of weak MDMA (I’ll refer to it as X from now
on).  Weird.  I’ve always found that ADs suppress the effects of X and I’ve
been on a few.  Its a bummer.

I love going to raves but since I’ve been into H (the past 5yrs) (and I’m
23) I hardly go out at all.  Sean said something about isolation, well I
live as a complete hermit at the moment and the more I don’t see people, the
more I don’t want to see them.  Luckily I live with my boyf and we’re
putting my partner in crime up at the moment so I have to see them!

Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!  I
want to get going out again but I do find the come-downs hard without gear.
I’m trying to get hold of some Valium just so I have something to just help
me chill out.  I don’t like raves without X though cuz I don’t like the
music without!  On X I love Techno.  I’m lucky cuz some of my friends are
travellers and know lots of squatters down London and they always know where
the best free parties are 🙂  I live in a little town where the clubs are
all crap ‘towny’ straight places with cheesy music.

The X powder is lovely cuz it isn’t speedy, just warm loveliness but it
isn’t always great for partying cuz you just wanna sit down.  Then we mix it
with speed (!).  When I first discovered X when I was 17 I thought it was
the greatest thing in the world-I just couldn’t stop smiling.  But the pills
just don’t do the same anymore-I don’t know if the pills are crap now or if
you just get a tolerance real quick.  Then again, even when I’m fucked I’ll
still claim I’m straight and need more-I’m just never satisfied.

I just wish I’d never tried H and I’d be in a VERY different position now.

Last night I did this mornings hit thinking I’d just score as soon as I woke
up today.  Instead I slept all day so woke up really sick.  I call my dealer
and nothing for a couple of hours so total panic.  Luckily a friend came
over and sorted me out.  But my veins are non-existent so then it takes
hours to get myself.  I thought I’d got it first time but hit my artery so
my right hand swelled up and I was in agony.  Luckily a couple of friends
were around to help but they tried for 2hrs and couldn’t get me-I felt like
a pin cushion, in my hands, arms, neck, fingers, feet 🙁  I had to
muscle-bang it in the end.  And since I’ve been doing rock and gear the past
week I hadn’t showered or anything so was embarrassingly grubby.  My veins
just wouldn’t give up any blood!  None of the women in my family can give
blood cuz they can’t get blood out of us so I really chose the wrong
profession!  Anyway so I’m sat there just thinking what have I done to
myself?  Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in
blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I
remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.
My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and
old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am I
doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
and what I consider normal now.

Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.  I’ve got to sort myself out.
I just can’t believe I keep doing this to myself.  Why do we keep doing
this?  I’ve hit rockbottom I really have.  And the last couple of yrs I had
improved, I’d cut down and started socialising but the past couple of months
I’ve been out of control.  I’ve been going in my fingers and when I had to
go to A&E for my abscess the Doc told me I could easily lose my hands if I
kept doing this. I can’t believe I know that and keep doing it!  Its like
that definition of insanity, I am insane.

But I’m gonna try (again) to be clean.  After I’ve just had one more hit….

Love to everyone, you’re my inspiration.
Hannah

PS: Sorry Julie I’ve gone well off-topic!  Hopefully I’ll have far more
partying tales in a few weeks and none of this shit. 🙂

—– Original Message —–
From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:37 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Hannah

Hannah,

you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
gay guys know how to party !!

I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
is!!

I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
refer to the last sentence of the previous
paragraph…

love Julie 🙂

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: “m.finman” <mafinman@optonline.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Breathing
Date: November 30, 2004 at 8:53:04 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I agree.  I was trying to differentiate that all “providers” are not created equal to randy.  The death thing was just part of the scenario.  Your rationale is correct.  I think there is a time and a place for martyrdom and that ain’t it!  I was also trying to put things in perspective re: Mash a little, I’m not on her biggest fan list, however, I couldn’t do what she’s doing and within controversial topics will be more controversey.
You do make an extremely valid distinction and I would have to say were it me  I would leave. Were it me being treated I would want them to leave as well.
Martee
—– Original Message —– From: <slowone@hush.ai>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Tuesday, November 30, 2004 1:47 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Breathing

I’m not sure that one would need to be motivated by greed to
abandon a corpse in a hotel room. Imagine treating an addict who
for some unknown reason keels over – maybe that person did heroin
to avoid an issue brought up by the eboga and OD’d at their normal
dose due to a reset tolerance, maybe there were unknown or lied-
about medical complications, maybe their spirit just went to the
light. In any case, death has occurred, and now you are facing any
number of criminal and civil charges if you turn yourself in. Plus
if you do, it’s another black mark against ibogaine. People have
all sorts of value systems and reasons for treating people, and
siting with a corpse could throw these into unexpected relief.

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
secure FREE email: http://www.hushmail.com/?l=2

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From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] misc
Date: November 30, 2004 at 8:41:57 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thanks for posting that. Lee

slowone@hush.ai wrote:
I came across this:

http://www.entheogenreview.com/Resources/Sample%20Issue.pdf

which includes the only other case I’ve seen of a person quitting
marijuana after an ibogaine session (I stopped for 2 years a while
back). It is a sampler edition of the Entheogen Review. Articles
include “THOUGHT-SUCKING ENTITY”, “WILD CUCUMBER?”, “SEXY TOAD
VENOM”, and most interesting to me, “Myron Stolaroff Speaks…” in
which the author of The Secret Chief says,

“I have to say that the misunderstanding of psychedelics is
one of the great tragedies of our current time, because these
are such remarkable tools. And I’ll just try to say in a nutshell
why they are important and also why they are held in
such disrepute. First of all they are important because, as far
as I can tell—and this is after 40 years of work—the main
thing that they do is open the door to the unconscious mind.
And that includes just a fantastic array of stuff. But the first
part that’s uncovered is our repressed material. We push a
lot of stuff into the unconscious because we simply do not
want to know it; we don’t want to acknowledge it. This is
often very painful stuff: betrayals, hurts, things that have
made us feel inferior, and all the kinds of things that make
up what Jung calls “the shadow.” So all of this stuff is in the
unconscious. But then when we go deeper, we begin to find
some of our more valuable assets, such as intuition, creativity,
and what Jung called “the archetypes.” Eventually you go
beyond all of this into the transpersonal areas where you can
actually discover that the core of your being is divinity, which
is an amazingly wonderful, fruitful thing to discover. And
what I’ve found—and I think what most of the people who
reach this level find—is that the universe is created in incredible
love.”

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
secure FREE email: http://www.hushmail.com/?l=2

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http://www.my-eboga.com

Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Moving house? Beach bar in Thailand? New Wardrobe? Win £10k with Yahoo! Mail to make your dream a reality.

From: “FakePlacebo” <fakeplacebo@hotmail.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] To Miss Iboga (Julie)
Date: November 30, 2004 at 5:33:57 AM EST
To: “Summary” <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear Julie,
I treated by Iboga 14th. of september; also you treated in those days like me. I wander that how do you feel? Could you able to get your power?What about sleeping? And last: have you ever experienced personality changes on you?

Thank you already
Best Regards
FakePlacebo

From: <slowone@hush.ai>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Breathing
Date: November 30, 2004 at 1:47:05 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I’m not sure that one would need to be motivated by greed to
abandon a corpse in a hotel room. Imagine treating an addict who
for some unknown reason keels over – maybe that person did heroin
to avoid an issue brought up by the eboga and OD’d at their normal
dose due to a reset tolerance, maybe there were unknown or lied-
about medical complications, maybe their spirit just went to the
light. In any case, death has occurred, and now you are facing any
number of criminal and civil charges if you turn yourself in. Plus
if you do, it’s another black mark against ibogaine. People have
all sorts of value systems and reasons for treating people, and
siting with a corpse could throw these into unexpected relief.

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
secure FREE email: http://www.hushmail.com/?l=2

Free, ultra-private instant messaging with Hush Messenger
http://www.hushmail.com/services-messenger?l=434

Promote security and make money with the Hushmail Affiliate Program:
http://www.hushmail.com/about-affiliate?l=427

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From: <slowone@hush.ai>
Subject: [Ibogaine] misc
Date: November 30, 2004 at 1:26:37 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I came across this:

http://www.entheogenreview.com/Resources/Sample%20Issue.pdf

which includes the only other case I’ve seen of a person quitting
marijuana after an ibogaine session (I stopped for 2 years a while
back). It is a sampler edition of the Entheogen Review. Articles
include “THOUGHT-SUCKING ENTITY”, “WILD CUCUMBER?”, “SEXY TOAD
VENOM”, and most interesting to me, “Myron Stolaroff Speaks
” in
which the author of The Secret Chief says,

“I have to say that the misunderstanding of psychedelics is
one of the great tragedies of our current time, because these
are such remarkable tools. And I’ll just try to say in a nutshell
why they are important and also why they are held in
such disrepute. First of all they are important because, as far
as I can tell—and this is after 40 years of work—the main
thing that they do is open the door to the unconscious mind.
And that includes just a fantastic array of stuff. But the first
part that’s uncovered is our repressed material. We push a
lot of stuff into the unconscious because we simply do not
want to know it; we don’t want to acknowledge it. This is
often very painful stuff: betrayals, hurts, things that have
made us feel inferior, and all the kinds of things that make
up what Jung calls “the shadow.” So all of this stuff is in the
unconscious. But then when we go deeper, we begin to find
some of our more valuable assets, such as intuition, creativity,
and what Jung called “the archetypes.” Eventually you go
beyond all of this into the transpersonal areas where you can
actually discover that the core of your being is divinity, which
is an amazingly wonderful, fruitful thing to discover. And
what I’ve found—and I think what most of the people who
reach this level find—is that the universe is created in incredible
love.”

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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Breathing
Date: November 30, 2004 at 1:20:14 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Martee, ya know I did that breathing thing one time and got the biggest rush. Ha, I’ve never felt better. I’m just very passionate about whatever I put my head into, errr so to speak. I just want to see the facts on this and I think what was said was a bit out of line. Bodies? Plural? I heard about one and the jury is still out on exactly what happened. Yea, it is inevitable there are going to be unscrupulous people anywhere money is involved but, I think that can be dealt with. How about the gov. getting their cut by taxing it and then have it sold in a pharmacy to people who are licensed to provide the treatment. Picture ID and all the other red tape shit they can think of. Just get the Ibogaine out to the people who need it. I’ve said all along that if someone would take care of my fellow addicts on the street I would quit worrying and talking about it. That just isn’t going to happen in the near future. I also said about a year and a half ago on this list that if this stuff works like you say it does I won’t shut up about it until my brothers and sisters in the KY area get it or at least know where to go to get it. It worked and I meant what I said. They don’t have a clue down there. I aim to change that. I’m getting the word out down there from here. Remember Power To The People? I grew up with that in my head. Being clean is one of the most powerful feelings I have experienced to date. I feel like I have to spread the word or lose what I have.      Randy

From: <slowone@hush.ai>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 30, 2004 at 1:06:54 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 06:47:09 -0800 Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
wrote:
(apart from 3 therapeutic MDMA sessions after my
first eboga experience)

I forgot to mention that some friends I shared an ayahuasca analog
with described it as like MDMA without the speed. (I have never
taken MDMA.)

I have based the past 6 years of my
journey on the sacramental use of eboga to travel the inner
recesses of my psyche and encounter the hidden demons of my past.
I have unlocked practically every door (I am presently aware of)
within me and have experienced nothing short of miraculous
recovery.

Thanks for your story. I think that eboga is great at giving a safe
place to unravel trauma and patterns of thought and behavior. It
may tell more about me and my circumstances than about these
substances, but with eboga alone I was more enthralled with my own
story, while with ayahuasca I find myself developing a moment-by-
moment appreciation of life. A spiritually-inclined friend once
asked when I told her about eboga, “Where would you be without your
story?” It’s now a year later, and I’m still digesting that one.

🙂

I eagerly look forward to completing the 3 books I am
working on to share all the details of what I have experienced.

So I have not felt any need to enter the world of ayahuasca.
However from what you write it is definitely something I will
explore at some stage. Forgive me if I say (what some may take as
heresy) but I find eboga to be a complete cure when used with the
right intention, a sufficiently discerning mind and a heart that
seeks as its ultimate goal a deep experience of love. Why?

Because it is very much spiritually guided and events in one life
fall into place to move the process along if one is willing to
undergo the changes and take the risks.

I like what you say about eboga and how it brings you in contact
with specific deep issues. (I assume we are talking about low
doses here) It confirms exactly what I am trying to promote in my
writings: the use of eboga to resolve childhood trauma and abuse
and to advance ones spirituality via the growth of consciousness
which ensues.

There is absolutely no doubt that ongoing use of eboga is both
surprising and humbling. It is also wonderfully liberating.

The part I find interesting for myself is how I went from a
scientific agnostic to a believer & admirer of the God and the
Goddess. Two great kind (non imposing) and generous entities in my

opinon. You could say the perfect parents. And yet with them I
sense a humility which accepts me lovingly as I am and allows me
to grow from there. Its almost like a growing friendship.

Good idea to use as an adjunct to therapy.

One observation I would make on the healing action of eboga is
this. A particular emotion such as abandonment, loss of a loved
one etc can be resolved (when the time is right) by an experience
of accelerated healing with eboga. By that I mean, the
concentration of all the pain is oosed out of the psyche like the
puss from a boil and that is something which conventional therapy
imo cannot do. That is why I recommend to anyone who is interested

in full recovery to invest time and trust in its healing ways. It
has many miracles to offer.

Love & Peace

Lee

slowone@hush.ai wrote:
On Sun, 28 Nov 2004 05:38:59 -0800 Lee Albert
wrote:
It sounds as though (from what you write) ayahuasca by its nature

is more rewarding in the group experience?

For me it has been.

Yet I would not make
the same observation about eboga – perhaps at a certain stage it
could be something to explore – as the experience tends to be
highly personal – for the most part.

My solo eboga experiences have been mixed. Immediate issues such
as
obsessive blocked anger have been resolved nicely, and sometimes I

have gotten insights into deeper problems, but it seems that eboga

in sufficient dose ultimately draws me to a trauma which I cannot
handle. Maybe someday.. meanwhile I can work on building a better
me. A mere taste on the tongue before therapy is my main use at
this point.

I certainly agree that any experience has its own optimum set &
setting.

For ibogaine I believe that could be a group of caring and
compassionate people who would welcome the person into the world
and compensate for all the pain and neglect that may have been
suffered at the hands of others. The baby physical helplessness of

the ibogaine experience is a wonderful opportunity to learn to
depend on others, for those of us who have been Gollum-ized by
this
world.

Economics dictate that this would either be a church or a group
treatment and therapy setting.

In the meantime, the better integration with aftercare, the
better.

I am curious what you mean by deep body learning?

Long tedious absorption of the vine, with little or none of the
DMT
‘light’ to take the mind elsewhere, followed by some weeks of
feeling more grounded and having insights comparable to post-
eboga.
Possibly it could be like noribogaine if one could take that
directly.

What do you see as its (ayahuasca) ongoing benefits?

Briefly, strength and love, if used for that purpose.

If you read the literature, and the experience reports on erowid
and elsewhere, you will find that the cultures and personal
experiences are all over the map.

Are you located in Holland?

No.

Hope I am not bombarding you with too many questions. Its an area

I no little about but am curious to understand better. What I
have

read has not really enlightened me much.

From my reading, ibogaine and secondarily ayahuasca stood out as
entheogens that lead to deep learning about oneself that can lead
to real personal change. In both cases personal experience has
been
surprising and humbling.

slowone@hush.ai wrote:
On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 04:15:16 -0800 Lee Albert
wrote:
Similarly I am not a great fan of DMT from what I have read as I

think its a shortcut to spiritual dimensions best reserved for
those whose souls have been prepared for the experience.
Otherwise

the combination of ones own inner demons coupled with the doors
which are been opened can lead to serious problems afterwards
imo.

In my experience, the container is all-important. So far the best

one for me is group singing in a church setting, which is what I
started with. The first time I did my own homebrew, the message
was, “why are you doing this alone, your path is to connect with
people,” and the church has been my satisfaction and growth ever
since. (I also learn in free-form group singing without the
religious or entheogenic aspects.) Plus with ayahuasca there is
the
vine, which on its own can take one on a slow unhallucinogenic
path
of deep body learning. It is all work, the hardest and deepest
that
one is capable of, no shortcuts I thoroughly agree.

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From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths
Date: November 29, 2004 at 11:24:58 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/29/04 10:24:58 PM, Schmoolyboy@aol.com writes:

<< does anybody have the article in question.? I can figure out what this is
about but I have never seen the article..

someone please send. >>

————————————————————————
http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-ibogaine48nov28,0,
775349.story?coll=la-home-magazine

The Magical Mystery Tour

Drug and alcohol addicts are going abroad in search of the purported miracle
treatment called ibogaine. But will the drug industry embrace a substance that
causes a hallucinatory high?
By Vince Beiser
Special to The Times

November 28, 2004
The hallucinations are coming fast and vivid. Faces, shapes, colors rush
toward him, melting and swirling into each other, sometimes coalescing into more
concrete visions. He sees himself floating underwater. By turns, his four
children drift by. Sometimes they blow bubbles and float happily up to the surface;
sometimes they sink straight down, disappearing into darkness. Then there are
three ships, coming in to dock at three tubes; he knows, somehow, that they
are building a bomb, and if all three dock successfully it will explode. He
tries to direct them away, but can’t. The final ship enters the final tube. A
titanic explosion collapses everything into darkness.

Then it all starts again.

While Craig’s mind reels through this visual cacophony, his body lies quietly
in a darkened room in a house near Tijuana, deep in the grip of a powerful
psychedelic drug. His wife, his children and his upper-middle-class home in Salt
Lake City are all far, far away.

Craig is not some crystal-collecting spiritual seeker on a Carlos Castañeda
trip. He is a prosperous, respected restaurant owner, age 50. He is friendly
with the mayor and active in mainstream charities. Other than family vacations
to the Bahamas and Mazatlan, Mexico, this is the only time he has been outside
of the United States.

Craig is here because he is desperate. He is addicted to
painkillers—OxyContin, Lortab and other illegally obtained prescription opiates. His habit is
costing him $1,500 a month, and he knows he must stop. Conventional detox programs
have failed to help, so he has slipped over the border to try a treatment
that is as much an urban myth as a scientifically proven medication—and is as
illegal as heroin in the United States.

The treatment is a dose of a powerful hallucinogen called ibogaine. It is
derived from the roots of a shrub called Tabernanthe iboga that grows in Africa.
Local tribespeople have used it as a peyote-like sacrament for generations.
Since the 1960s, it has circulated on the margins of Western drug culture,
sustained by its reputation as a potent healer. A single daylong trip on ibogaine,
lore has it, can help break an addiction to heroin, cocaine, alcohol or even
cigarettes.

Other hallucinogens such as Ecstasy have purported to be helpful in treating
addiction, but interest in ibogaine seems to be approaching critical mass. The
increasing number of anecdotal success stories has attracted the attention of
researchers. Although there is no rock-solid proof, scientific consensus is
growing that this drug may indeed possess potent addiction-thwarting properties.

Regardless of what science says, faith is flourishing. A devoted community
has grown up around ibogaine—a motley congregation of former junkies,
envelope-pushing academics and drug-reform zealots helping to spread awareness and use
of the drug. There reportedly are at least two underground activists in the
U.S. who will provide it to seekers illegally. But taking ibogaine doesn’t have
to involve breaking laws, because it’s legal in many countries. As a result,
clinics are popping up from the Caribbean to Pakistan, offering ibogaine
treatment for a few thousand dollars to well over $10,000.

The clinic near Tijuana is, relatively speaking, among the most reputable. It
was opened in 2001 by Martin Polanco, a Mexican doctor who was impressed with
how ibogaine—obtained at an underground U.S. clinic—had helped one of his
relatives beat cocaine addiction. Polanco’s facility, known as the Ibogaine
Association, has administered more than 350 treatments and currently has 10 to 15
new patients a month, says program director Randy Hencken.

Hencken, a gangly 28-year-old with curly hair and little studs in each ear,
was one of Polanco’s first patients. He had dropped out of college at 21 to
devote himself to cocaine and, eventually, heroin. Over the years, he tried
everything from 12-step programs to methadone to get clean, but nothing worked. He
discovered ibogaine on the Internet, made his way to Polanco’s facility, and
returned with his addiction broken. He has since embraced the cause with a
convert’s zeal, taking a job as the association’s main organizer.

On the summer day Craig is to begin his ibogaine experience, Hencken is
padding around a San Diego apartment that doubles as the association’s U.S. office.
The place fits naturally in the beachside slacker-student-surfer
neighborhood. The front room is furnished with worn couches and a computer emblazoned with
a Jane’s Addiction sticker. A bike and surfboards hang on hooks in the
kitchen.

Hencken, dressed in a black T-shirt and pants, hops into an unmarked van and
drives to a dingy airport motel. Waiting in the parking lot is Craig, a trim,
compact man wearing loafers, khakis and a Nike T-shirt.

“I’ve got to admit this is a little weird,” says Craig, who flew in from Salt
Lake the night before. “I feel like we’re doing a drug deal.” Which, in a
sense, they are. Craig gets in the van and they roll south.

Craig is highly motivated to undertake this bizarre journey. He was an
alcoholic for years, with the smashed cars and nights in jail to show for it. He
quit drinking 16 years ago and has stayed sober. But a few years ago he was
prescribed painkillers for a knee injury and discovered that he liked them. He
began downing fistfuls of pills daily, scoring them from one of his employees. “At
first it was recreational,” he recalls. “But then you find yourself doing
them just to get from point A to B and you know it’s a problem.”

Last year, he checked himself into a rehab center and went cold turkey. “It
was horrible,” he says. “You hurt from your bones in. I couldn’t sleep. I cried
like a baby. I’d take hot baths all day and eat ibuprofen like candy.” He
stayed clean for six weeks and then fell off the wagon.

“I can’t stop myself. But I know I can’t go down that road again like I did
with alcohol,” he says. “But when you’re on opiates, it really hurts to stop.”
So when his dealer, who had been scouring the Internet for unconventional ways
to kick drugs, told Craig about the Ibogaine Association, he decided he had
little to lose.

“I just need to get this stuff out of my system,” he says, “and I’m looking
for an easier, softer way.”

Ibogaine, as even its most ardent supporters say, is not a cure for drug
dependence; however, it apparently can play a potent role as an
addiction-interrupter. The drug has two powerful addiction-fighting effects. The first is
biochemical: It seems to act on serotonin and opiate systems in the brain,
physically nullifying a person’s craving for drugs and smoothing their withdrawal
symptoms. That’s a huge boon for those addicted to heroin and other opiates, many
of whom shrink from the physical pain of detox.

“It has been proved to alleviate the pain and physical discomfort of drug
withdrawal with animals,” says Dr. Stanley Glick, a neuropharmacologist at Albany
Medical Center in New York who has researched the drug for years. “And there
are lots of reports of it doing the same with humans. You hear the same story
a few thousand times, you’ve got to believe there’s something there.”

After a few weeks, this craving-blocking effect generally fades. But by then,
users have been able to detox relatively painlessly, and then have a month or
more free of drug cravings in which to do whatever it takes to stay clean.

“One dose of ibogaine is not a magic bullet,” says Dr. Deborah Mash, a
neurology professor at the University of Miami who has done the most extensive
research on ibogaine’s effects on human beings. “But it can be a powerful first
step on the road to recovery.”

The second effect is less tangible and more controversial. In many users,
ibogaine induces hours of staggering hallucinations while the patient appears to
be sleeping. Many ibogaine users say they gained profound insights from this
experience, which helps them to understand why they became addicts.

Greg Douglass, a former guitarist with the Steve Miller Band, credits a
session last year at the Ibogaine Association with helping him to kick methadone.
Douglass had visions of himself as a terrified child, of his still-living
father in a coffin, of fantastic animals tearing each other apart in a red sea.
Over the next several weeks, he says, he gradually came to understand some of the
messages encoded in the visions.

“I’d be tying my shoes and suddenly have a little epiphany—’Aha, that’s what
that meant.’ ” The visions, he says, “showed me the potential for myself as a
human being.”

Beth Giuliano, a sturdy 25-year-old from New York, had been in and out of
rehab programs for years trying to kick heroin before she found her way to the
Ibogaine Association in February. “I saw my mother holding an infant,” she says,
describing her hallucinations. “I realized that was me. I felt the pain of
what it would be like to have a child who becomes a drug addict. I’d always felt
guilty about my family, but I never really understood their pain until I did
ibogaine.

“I woke up the next day seeing things a completely different way. I’d never
felt so positive,” she says. “I felt like the person I was when I was little or
like a whole new me.” She says she’s done heroin twice since her treatment,
but didn’t enjoy it and has stayed clean for four months.

But there are plenty of people who discount the supposed wonder treatment.
For some, the visions are harrowing and the treatment is a failure. “It’s like
acid times one million,” writes an anonymous naysayer on one of the many web
sites devoted to ibogaine. “I saw God alright—I talked to him. And I was so sure
it was real. But it wasn’t…. It was someone who [messed] with me and scared
the [daylights] out of me.” This person’s account says that others who took the
treatment at the same time saw themselves being crucified or raped. “It
didn’t work for me, and it didn’t work for anyone else that I personally met who
took it,” the writer concludes.

Everyone agrees that ibogaine is no fun. It’s often emotionally unsettling,
mentally exhausting and physically stressful. Its side effects can include
nausea, vomiting, loss of coordination and a potentially dangerous reduction in
blood pressure and heart rate.

There have been several documented deaths in connection with the drug. But
because the ibogaine was not taken in a clinical setting, the cause of death was
never firmly established. Some fatalities may have been caused by preexisting
heart conditions made lethal by ibogaine’s effects. Mash is confident that
there are more that have gone unreported. “There are some pretty unethical
people” giving clandestine treatments, she says. “They just leave patients for dead
in hotel rooms.”

“That’s why ibogaine needs to be legal and available in safe settings,”
Hencken says. “It needs to be in the hands of someone who can judge your health,
your dosage and provide a safe environment.”

The Ibogaine Association requires clients to submit a medical history as well
as undergo testing before treatment can begin. A doctor administers the drug.
Still, the procedure seems remarkably casual.

From San Diego, Craig is brought to the association’s treatment facility, a
rented house on a well-kept residential street near Tijuana. Only the dining
room, which has been converted into a medication-equipped office, and the oxygen
tanks under the stairs indicate that it is a medical establishment, of sorts.

The doctor treating Craig is Francisco Cañez, a calm, round-faced man who
splits his time between the association and a hospital emergency room. Craig sits
with his arms crossed, looking more than a tad nervous as Cañez reviews his
file and calculates his ibogaine dosage. From a small jar, he shakes out three
gelatin capsules filled with white powder and hands them to Craig.

Craig looks speculatively at the first pill, which he’ll take to make sure he
doesn’t have an allergic reaction. “Well, I’ve put all kinds of things in my
body,” he says, shrugging. Half an hour later, having evinced no untoward
initial responses, he swallows the other two pills.

Cañez then takes him into a bedroom, where sheets of Styrofoam cover the
windows and a CD softly plays rainforest sounds, and attaches him to a heart
monitor next to the bed. The monitor’s graph flutters peacefully as the ibogaine
gradually pulls Craig away. After a while, he just lies there silently, engulfed
in a hallucinogenic hurricane.

After several hours, the visions gradually start to subside. Craig sits up,
nauseated and dizzy. “That was a wild ride,” he mutters. Though he hasn’t had a
painkiller in several days, he finds he doesn’t crave one now. He lies down
again and drops back into his head for another hour. Finally, he revives enough
to be moved to another house where he will spend the next day recovering. He
totters out to the van with small, jittery steps.

Ibogaine’s addiction-fighting potential was discovered only recently, and
accidentally. It was sold as a stimulant in France during the middle decades of
the last century, and an American psychologist and a psychiatrist dabbled with
it in the 1950s and ’60s. So little was known about it that it could not even
be considered a curiosity.

But in 1962, Howard Lotsof, a 19-year-old New York student with a heroin
habit and an appetite for other pharmacological kicks, scored some powder that he
was told would give him a 36-hour trip. Lotsof and some of his junkie pals
experimented with it and, to their astonishment, found that it knocked out their
heroin craving.

Mightily impressed, Lotsof tried to drum up street interest, and a little
cash for himself in the process. It never caught on in a big way, but it did find
a place in counterculture lore—and got banned by the federal government in
1970. It was memorably cited by gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, who
speculated that “a bad ibogaine frenzy” was the likely explanation for Democrat Ed
Muskie’s oddly emotional behavior in the 1972 presidential campaign.

Ibogaine’s legend grew as a constant trickle of adventurous addicts tried it.
In the mid-’80s, Lotsof managed to patent ibogaine as an anti-addiction
palliative, and set up a company to try to bring it to market. An early series of
treatments in the Netherlands looked promising, although there were a couple of
ibogaine-related deaths elsewhere in Europe.

Lotsof continued his crusade. In the early ’90s, he and other activists
persuaded a federal agency to cough up several million dollars for ibogaine
research. He recruited Mash and the two began working together. (They have since
parted ways.) By 1993, Mash had won FDA approval to begin testing ibogaine on
human subjects. But then one of Lotsof’s informal patients in the Netherlands
died. In 1995, the National Institute on Drug Abuse decided not to proceed to
clinical studies.

“Committee members were not all that impressed with its efficacy, but the
safety issue stopped them in their tracks,” says Frank Vocci, a federal
researcher who has followed ibogaine’s progress. “What you have are a lot of
interesting, colorful anecdotes. But the plural of anecdotes is not scientific data.”

A number of researchers around the country, however, have become sufficiently
intrigued to continue experimenting with animals. Dozens of articles have
appeared in scientific journals, most of them reporting promising results that
buttress the anecdotal evidence.

Mash is doing her own part to advance the cause. In 1996 she helped to launch
an ibogaine clinic on the Caribbean island of St. Kitts. During the next five
years, she gathered data on more than 300 patients who sought treatment
there—the largest body of serious clinical research on ibogaine ever collected.

Mash presented her findings at a medical conference last fall in San
Francisco. Granted, her sample wasn’t representative of America’s drug users: Most
were white men between 20 and 40 years old, the sort of addicts who can afford to
spend several weeks and several thousand dollars detoxing in the Caribbean.
Still, she declared that her research proves that ibogaine can be administered
safely and does help break addictions. “We saw people with big methadone
habits lose their cravings after just a single dose of ibogaine,” she says. “One
month later, both cocaine and opiate addicts reported cravings were
significantly lower. And at one year, drug use was significantly down among testees.”

At this point, perhaps the major obstacle to Ibogaine’s mainstream acceptance
is its scrofulous image. This isn’t a medicine developed by white-coated
scientists; its anti-addictive properties were discovered by a junkie, and some of
its promoters are folks who may be of more interest to the attorney general
than the surgeon general.

One of ibogaine’s most energetic boosters is Marc Emery, founder of a
Vancouver, Canada, clinic. Emery is a verbose, middle-aged man with bushy hair and
corporate-casual clothes. You’d never guess that he heads the British Columbia
Marijuana Party and is, by his reckoning, one of the world’s largest sellers of
pot seeds. It is his personal mission to bring ibogaine to the masses,
because the drug helped his adopted son kick methadone and heroin. Until this
spring, Emery offered free treatment in the Iboga Therapy House, a clinic that
consists of a plush one-bedroom apartment in a Vancouver high-rise. With his cash
flow crimped by business and legal troubles (he just spent two months in a
Saskatchewan jail for passing a joint at a gathering), he has stopped funding the
clinic, putting its program on hold, but he remains supportive. “It was a very
worthwhile investment,” he says. “The improvements I saw in our patients were
significant and astonishing.”

Still, Emery’s enthusiasm is unlikely to change the minds of skeptics such as
Dr. Herbert Kleber, head of the substance abuse division at Columbia
University’s school of medicine. “I’m in favor of anything that works, but there needs
to be proof that it does, and that it doesn’t endanger patients,” he says.
“I’ve been in this field 35 years, and I’ve seen a lot of magic bullets. They
often turn out to be worse than the disease.”

Getting that kind of proof requires controlled experiments on human subjects,
which is what Mash is working toward. She has isolated a molecule called
noribogaine, which is produced in the body as it metabolizes ibogaine, and which
she believes is the key agent that blocks drug cravings. She is trying to get
FDA approval to start human testing. On a parallel track, Stanley Glick has
synthesized a chemical cousin of ibogaine dubbed 18-MC, which he also hopes to
market.

Both Mash and Glick think their ibogaine derivatives will give users the
drug-blocking effect without the hallucinations—something both believe is
necessary if the FDA is to approve their products.

But would eliminating ibogaine’s psychedelic side diminish its effectiveness?
No one knows. “For me, the ideal would be for people to take ibogaine in a
controlled environment, and use the experience as part of their psychotherapy,”
Mash says. “Then slap a noribogaine patch on them.”

Mash and Glick also face a more prosaic obstacle: money. Funding
comprehensive clinical trials for a new drug is colossally expensive, and so far neither
has found anyone willing to pony up the full cost. In October, a Los Angeles
philanthropist pledged to give Mash $250,000 to restart research at the
University of Miami, but that’s only a tiny fraction of what will eventually be
necessary if ibogaine is ever to be brought to market.

“The pharmaceutical industry has never wanted much to do with addiction
medicine,” Glick says. “It’s not very profitable, and it’s bad public relations.”

Though there are millions of people addicted to various substances in the
U.S., many of them don’t want, or can’t afford, treatment. Worse, from a
bottom-line standpoint, an ibogaine-based treatment drug would be used only once—a
feeble investment for companies accustomed to cash-cow refillable prescriptions.

Which leaves people like Craig knocking on doors of unregulated ibogaine
clinics in a desperate search for something that will help defeat their addictions.

“All these clinics popping up all over the world—it’s become almost a
cult-like phenomenon,” Glick says. “All the hype and politics around ibogaine just
make my job harder. It means the scientific establishment and regulatory
agencies take a dim view.”

But the ranks of the believers keep growing. Six months after his ibogaine
treatment, Craig says he’s staying clean and feeling great. “That stuff worked
just like it was supposed to,” he says. “It was so much better than the detox I
tried. I don’t understand why it’s not legal.”

*

Editor’s note:

In this article, the name of the patient seeking ibogaine treatment in
Tijuana has been changed to protect his privacy. However, the Los Angeles Times
Magazine has verified his identity and the circumstances described in the article.
If you want other stories on this topic, search the Archives at
latimes.com/archives.

Article licensing and reprint options

————————————————————————

Copyright 2004 Los Angeles Times

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] nypd drug busts on ave. d on tv NOW
Date: November 29, 2004 at 9:56:04 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

he’s not joking actually, as NYC has had this rule in effect for over a year now.
No smoking in bars whatsoever (and resaurants even longer, since the late 90s if memory serves me correctly)…unless you know bars that shirk the rules, as I do actually, but don’t drink, so what good does that do me? Plus, I can smoke as a dj (plus, there’s a rule that says if I’m on “stage” I can smoke which me and many of the performers I know take full advantage of, even though I’m not really performing on-stage per se), so I go backstage and have one when I please wherever I’m djing that night.

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 7:43 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] nypd drug busts on ave. d on tv NOW

p.s., Preston, I am personally very disappointed in NYC.  First Times
Square, then the LES…  It’s all become Happy Shiny Safe & Sanitized.
The Horror!  Before you know it, they’ll ban smoking in otherwise
healthy places like bars.  “I’m sorry sir, you can’t light a cigarette
while your getting drunk inside Mars.  Don’t you know they’re bad for
you?  It’s still okay to bang up in the bathrooms, just wipe up your
own blood please and use the mop if you’re a lightweight and vomit all
over things n’ stuff.”
Nah, that’s just a bad dream; never happen.<

Heyyy don’t joke about it!!! The scum suckers that be have enforced a total
ban on smoking in bars as of 10th December!!!!! And if you chose to smoke at
those tables outside, ya won’t get served!!! Huh???? Farked if I can figure
that one out.
Suffer a walk to the bar all theee smoking sinners
Cheesh
Kirk


Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
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From: Jeffgd1@aol.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jeff chgecking in…
Date: November 29, 2004 at 9:34:35 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hello to the list and especially Jasen and Sara. Just in from a couple a days down in Philly where we went to Rachel’s moms after seeing the band that is our passion The string cheese incident an amazing scene is always there and it was a real rush to feel the energy of live music and man the lights during a drum interlude as positively Tribal as in Eboga! for me any how. It was long night but it was great to see folks who knew that I was sick lately (even if they didn’t know why) and getting many well wishes and great good hugs. I even told an old friend the entire thing he was blown away and said to me that he thought I was a very brave man to go with it. Rachel flaked a lil post show while in the midst of speaking about Eboga with another goddess who has dealt with big time husband drug stuff and it was a blast to hear she had done it as part of a Stanford experiment back in the day (60 something). She was amazed that we were able to find it as I am everyday
Multiple times a day I praise what a fucking miracle this plant is it is simply mind boggling to me that I am 3 weeks 4 days out of my methadone habit of 50 mgs a day and I NEVER SUFFERED A BIT. Not to say the first two weeks post was not terribly hard but not the same dimension as any other of my kicks. Inever once started scheming the way we do to get relief never once though about copping or even asking her the old meth is Rachy says she threw it out but I am not so sure.
This past week week 3 has been seeing improvements a step forward a step back sometimes but I am healing everyday and have been laughing and feeling bit of the spiritual vibe I felt those first two weeks I was spiritually bankrupt it felt and it was a bit disconcerting. I
I am very mush looking forward to doing a full Ibo session again as It seemed that the ibogaine was so busy scrubbing the methadone out of me that my visionsthough vivid were not particularly revealing.
Well, time for one more of my countless baths a true relief they are. Thanks for listening
Freak Freely!
Jeff

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 17 Nov 2004 15:29:37 -0000 Issue 779
Date: November 29, 2004 at 8:49:59 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

thanks
—– Original Message —– From: <slowone@hush.ai>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Saturday, November 20, 2004 11:09 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 17 Nov 2004 15:29:37 -0000 Issue 779

Ron, it sounds as if your email provider may be chopping your
digest of the list short. Maybe it is seeing it as spam. Anyway,
the general public can’t help, so you may want to email

ibogaine-digest-help@mindvox.com

It is odd that this is the ‘From’ address in your mail. So maybe
there’s a misconfiguration in the list server.

On Thu, 18 Nov 2004 05:45:05 -0800 Ron Davis <rwd3@cox.net> wrote:
c/n download…got the key?
—– Original Message —– From: <ibogaine-digest-help@mindvox.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 17, 2004 9:29 AM
Subject: ibogaine Digest 17 Nov 2004 15:29:37 -0000 Issue 779

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] To Ron From DH [was: for Ron Jim to Ron]
Date: November 29, 2004 at 8:40:23 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

thanks, i’ll try to figure it out. i always got booted out of groups anyway, ron
—– Original Message —–
From: D H
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 6:18 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] To Ron From DH [was: for Ron Jim to Ron]

Hey Ron,

Bouncing messages usually happen when the email you are sending is not going to a valid email address. or it is being sent to list such as this but you are not subscribed to it. or, maybe you are sending to someone/place/thing that has blocked your email address. or, you may be sending an email with an attachment that exceeds the mailbox quota of the recipient. I’m sure there are a couple other scenarios as well.

If you could explain in what context “bouncing messages” you are referring to, I might be able to provide a better answer.

But if Patrick sez you are subscribed to both the list and the digest, you are probably getting double email X’s 2. you may even be attempting to reply from the digest to the regular list and these messages are bouncing? maybe not.

I would unsubscribe from either the digest or the list, depending on how you want the ibogaine list to be served up to you, as this may be the source of the issues.

Or, between daily tasks 2,456,301 and 2,456,302, PATRICK will remedy the situation for you. He’s a nice guy after all, altho he is one of the busiest people i know. but he can only add or delete you from one or both of the lists. He does not do house calls, Windows tech support or troubleshooting or plumbing. But then again, I do not represent Patrick in any manner so it is entirely up to him.

Or, you can always go here for addresses on how to unsubscribe, or, to re-subscribe.

peace,
_.dh

On Monday, November 29, 2004, at 04:06 AM, Ron Davis wrote:

DH:
can you tell me what bouncing messages mean?  i’ve tried to follow protocol but must be missing something. i know little of computers.  i’ forwarding an old message from schmooly with your follow up.  i d/n want to be taken off this list, but do not know what to do to remedy it.  can you help or will you help?  many thanks, ron rwd3@cox.net

—– Original Message —–
From: D H
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Saturday, November 20, 2004 5:31 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] for Ron Jim to Ron

<snip>

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] received message
Date: November 29, 2004 at 8:35:33 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

thanks, ron
—– Original Message —–
From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 10:59 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] received message

I get the ezmlm warnings every now and again too. Bouncing means that for some reason they bounce out of your mailbox and back to sender system. Not a security issue as far as I know. The serious words like warning and tracking etc., etc. make you think something is really gone awry. No big issue I think! Don’t worry…..your security or anonymity has not been breached!
Peace, Callie

From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths
Date: November 29, 2004 at 8:20:36 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

does anybody have the article in question.? I can figure out what this is about but I have never seen the article..

someone please send.

From: D H <dave@phantom.com>
Subject: Fwd: [Ibogaine] To Ron From DH [was: for Ron Jim to Ron]
Date: November 29, 2004 at 7:49:32 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

oops:

Or, you can always go here for addresses on how to unsubscribe, or, to re-subscribe.

http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] nypd drug busts on ave. d on tv NOW
Date: November 29, 2004 at 7:43:53 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

p.s., Preston, I am personally very disappointed in NYC.  First Times
Square, then the LES…  It’s all become Happy Shiny Safe & Sanitized.
The Horror!  Before you know it, they’ll ban smoking in otherwise
healthy places like bars.  “I’m sorry sir, you can’t light a cigarette
while your getting drunk inside Mars.  Don’t you know they’re bad for
you?  It’s still okay to bang up in the bathrooms, just wipe up your
own blood please and use the mop if you’re a lightweight and vomit all
over things n’ stuff.”
Nah, that’s just a bad dream; never happen.<

Heyyy don’t joke about it!!! The scum suckers that be have enforced a total
ban on smoking in bars as of 10th December!!!!! And if you chose to smoke at
those tables outside, ya won’t get served!!! Huh???? Farked if I can figure
that one out.
Suffer a walk to the bar all theee smoking sinners
Cheesh
Kirk


Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Darpan facing charge of trafficking ayahuasca
Date: November 29, 2004 at 7:39:03 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Oh Dear, Aussies!
Most of em are cool but when it comes to those in power the red on their necks would blind ya without a welding helmet on. Can just hear em “bluddy hippies string em all up”.
Good luck to this fella, I hope it all goes really well.
Kirsty
From: Nick Sandberg [mailto:nick227@tiscali.co.uk] 
Sent: Monday, 29 November 2004 11:09 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Darpan facing charge of trafficking ayahuasca

Heard about this today. I met this guy over the summer, he’s very lovely. Could be a tough case. If anyone wants to get in touch to give legal advice or local support please mail me off list

Nick

My beloved friends and fellow travellers,
On 12/11/04 I was apprehended by
the federal police in australia for less than a litre
of ayahuasca which was found in unaccompanied baggage
sent to me from europe. Ayahuasca is not on the
restricted list in this country so I have been charged
with importation of its contents, namely harmine and
dimethyltryptamine, both of which are schedule 1
restricted substances in their chemically extracted
form. Because anything ove 0.5g is considered a
trafficable quantity, I have also been charged with
trafficking. Considering that 800mls of ayahuasca
constitutes 8 or 9 doses this is patently absurd
however the authorities are taking this very
seriously. I was kept in custody for 3 days and am now
out on $100,000 bail. The maximum sentence under these
charges include up to 20 years in jail. There is no
precedent for a case such as this in this country so
it seems I am relegated to battle this out in the
courts. I am currently seeking the best legal
representation and hope to have the charges thrown out
of court. Any assistance whether it be financial or
information on overseas precedents would be most
gratefully accepted. In any case, I would ask that you
send me your loving thoughts and prayers in these
challenging times. My connection to you, my family of
light, is what will sustain me and give me strength. I
have faith that awareness and light will be brought to
bear in this difficult situation and that ultimately,
good will come of this. I feel fully in my integrity
in facing these charges and am prepared to stand up
for what I believe is right. I am so grateful for the
gifts and blessings I have already received from the
Mother. I trust that even in this challenging
situation a beautiful and rare jewel will be revealed.
Om Shanti
Darpan

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths
Date: November 29, 2004 at 7:35:57 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thank you Randy,
I’m hangin’ today while transferring to done…and I needed a good chuckle (not the main context of your email of course, just your first comment about shooting yourself……and a coupla other comments)
So thanks mate!
Kirsty
Aka capt kirk
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com] 
Sent: Monday, 29 November 2004 10:44 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths

I have got to speak my mind. I hope I can do so without shooting myself in the dick. This is sacred ground to me. Right here. This list. I have been clean only because of the people and now friends who post here, and those who let me rant without giving me too much shit about it. This is part of my own self imposed therapy. I love the people here. This just my opinion so here goes. Who cares if Patrick and Ms. Mash have some kind of relationship. She’s good lookin’, I’d go for it too. That doesn’t mean that they agree on everything. Personally I don’t think Ms. Mash is using Ibogaine in the spirit it was intended to be used with. Seems the pygmies freely gave it to the Bwiti’s who then used it and saw the good in it. Our monetary system is starting to screw up the whole works. Money pure and simple makes the world go around. It sucks but it is true. I think Ibogaine is a gift from God. The answer to addiction is growing in the ground in Africa. God is wondering what took us so long to find it. The underground providers are doing treatments out of love. I know because they came to our house and stayed a while. Doing so just ‘aint’ cost effective. I never saw the inside of a hotel room but desperate times call for desperate measures and some people have no choice other than to take the treatment in a hotel room. To imply that my provider or any provider I have met has anything to do with the deaths gets my southern dander up. These people care about your soul. They are taking a supreme risk and they are most definitely not doing it for the money. I know the ballpark figures and they are not raking addicts over the coals for all they can get. I trusted my provider right off the bat. That’s hard for a junkie to do. I’d do it again. I just don’t think I would do that with Ms. Mash. I don’t trust her intentions. Ibogaine is here and it won’t be denied no matter the money.  Our government dictates that there will be a struggle over money and the power therein anytime more than two dollars can be made. I think that is why it is still illegal here. Nobody can figure out how to manipulate the system so as to make the majority of the cash. Meanwhile addicts suffer. It is obvious that our suffering is inconsequential to the powers that be. So we take matters into our own hands. Thank God for the underground or I would be sprung right now. I hope I didn’t piss anyone off I’m just sayin.’ (no shrug) This list rocks. Thanks Patrick     Randy

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From: D H <dave@phantom.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] To Ron From DH [was: for Ron Jim to Ron]
Date: November 29, 2004 at 7:18:05 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey Ron,

Bouncing messages usually happen when the email you are sending is not going to a valid email address. or it is being sent to list such as this but you are not subscribed to it. or, maybe you are sending to someone/place/thing that has blocked your email address. or, you may be sending an email with an attachment that exceeds the mailbox quota of the recipient. I’m sure there are a couple other scenarios as well.

If you could explain in what context “bouncing messages” you are referring to, I might be able to provide a better answer.

But if Patrick sez you are subscribed to both the list and the digest, you are probably getting double email X’s 2. you may even be attempting to reply from the digest to the regular list and these messages are bouncing? maybe not.

I would unsubscribe from either the digest or the list, depending on how you want the ibogaine list to be served up to you, as this may be the source of the issues.

Or, between daily tasks 2,456,301 and 2,456,302, PATRICK will remedy the situation for you. He’s a nice guy after all, altho he is one of the busiest people i know. but he can only add or delete you from one or both of the lists.  He does not do house calls, Windows tech support or troubleshooting or plumbing. But then again, I do not represent Patrick in any manner so it is entirely up to him.

Or, you can always go here for addresses on how to unsubscribe, or, to re-subscribe.

peace,
_.dh

On Monday, November 29, 2004, at 04:06 AM, Ron Davis wrote:

DH:
can you tell me what bouncing messages mean?  i’ve tried to follow protocol but must be missing something. i know little of computers.  i’ forwarding an old message from schmooly with your follow up.  i d/n want to be taken off this list, but do not know what to do to remedy it.  can you help or will you help?  many thanks, ron rwd3@cox.net

—– Original Message —–
From: D H
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Saturday, November 20, 2004 5:31 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] for Ron Jim to Ron

<snip>

From: “” <thethird@myway.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Panic attacks and ideas to work w/ people post-ibo
Date: November 29, 2004 at 6:57:20 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey knowone knowwhere, thanks for the reply to my questions. You asked about my suboxone dose, I take 12mgs a day, which I think is about the average dose, maybe a little lower, but it works for me in helping my panic attacks / cravings. I think it’s interesting that panic attacks led you to opiates also. I started getting them when I was fifteen, around the time when I first tried pot. I remember getting really stoned and it actually made me feel out of whack for a couple days. I think it had to do with feeling out of control when I got high, and I had never felt like that before and it scared me. My first panic attack happened when I was in school (of course). I was in Spanish class and not paying attention to anything that I was supposed to. If I remember correctly I hadn’t been to class in a couple days and was way behind and had no idea what everyone was saying in Spanish. Then the teacher suddenly startled me out of some daydream I was having and told me to go to the board and translate some sentence. Well, I had no idea where to start, and wham, I heard a slight roaring sound and everything started looking a little distorted with black around the edges (tunnel vision) and I was smack dab in the middle of my first panic attack. The fact I had no idea I was having a panic attack made it ten times worse because I thought I must be going crazy. After that I got panic attacks pretty often. It turns out it’s a genetic trait I share with much of my family (My Mom remembers going to the grocery store as a child and seeing my Grandma’s knuckles go white as she clenched her hands in fear because she was having a panic attack going to the market). Over the next 6 or 7 years I tried imipramine, paxil, and zoloft. I was on zoloft the longest, which was a few years. Also, for about the whole 6 or 7 years I had steady prescriptions for clonazepam (generic klonopin), which I didn’t take everyday, but only when I could use it to stop / prevent attacks. All of that took a little bite out of my panic attacks, but when I was about 23 a situation arose where I was with some people who wanted to try some china white, and so I said what the hell, let’s try it. For the first few times I felt a little sick, but I had this underlying sense of perfect calm which I had always craved since I can remember. I’ve always over-analyzed everything and had bouts of OCD. My mind just wouldn’t shut up until I did smack and finally I had some mental peace. I also realized that my panic attacks were gone. It was like a miracle. The thought of going back to life with all the anxiety and panic was unbearable. I am not the kind of person that sees heroin as evil disguised as a substance, and I didn’t want to stop doing it because it is illegal or because I thought it was morally wrong. It is just too expensive and withdrawals suck and my family didn’t like me on dope so if I wanted to maintain a relationship with them then I had to stop. Also my view of myself became lowered because I felt like a slave to it. So I eventually saw that my quality of life would be higher without it. Even though I had the best peace of mind ever while high, and that my brain chemistry seems to balance out with opiates, it just wasn’t the route that would make me happiest. So, I will go back to school, major in psychology, and hopefully one day work with other addicts who have taken Ibogaine and help them get the most from their experience. At first I was taking classes pointed toward a degree in Comp. Science (perfect for minds that over-analyze), but after all my drug and ibogaine experiences I couldn’t help but change my goal. I would be interested in hearing anyone’s ideas about the best things to do post-ibogaine to make the most of the experience. I want to learn the most I can about Ibogaine because I really would like to work with people who have used it. So, please, if anybody can tell me ways that they think would help other people post-ibogaine, (I’ve got an open mind, so I’ll listen to ALL ideas) let me know so that when I get my degree I will be armed with i nformation from people who have first hand experience.
Thanks.

No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web – http://www.myway.com

From: “m.finman” <mafinman@optonline.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths
Date: November 29, 2004 at 4:01:17 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Randy,
I believe possibly the point is not about the credibility of your providers and those you have met.  The truth is that when ever there exists a way to make money off of someone elses pain, there ALWAYS exists unscrupulous individuals who are only in it for the money.  Any one who has been a junkie has definitley interacted to some degree with this type of person(usually minus a soul or conscience).  So this is just a scam of a larger scale.  Take the money, put them in a hotel, no doubt deal annonymously, and if things get tough…scram!  This is worldwide and just like any business transaction from buying fruit to homes, you have to know where to get the good stuff that is properly represented.
Anyone that’s trying to accomplish something big or that is considered a new frontier is bound to make some people uncomfortable.  I believe it is the same quality that drives a person to accomplish a monumentous feat , is also that same drive that pisses some people off.  Intense is intense.  Opposite side of the same coin.
Randy, hope you are well.  Getting pissed off is part of our reality.  However, I still feel you need to BREATHE!
Much love,
Martee
—– Original Message —–
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 4:43 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths

I have got to speak my mind. I hope I can do so without shooting myself in the dick. This is sacred ground to me. Right here. This list. I have been clean only because of the people and now friends who post here, and those who let me rant without giving me too much shit about it. This is part of my own self imposed therapy. I love the people here. This just my opinion so here goes. Who cares if Patrick and Ms. Mash have some kind of relationship. She’s good lookin’, I’d go for it too. That doesn’t mean that they agree on everything. Personally I don’t think Ms. Mash is using Ibogaine in the spirit it was intended to be used with. Seems the pygmies freely gave it to the Bwiti’s who then used it and saw the good in it. Our monetary system is starting to screw up the whole works. Money pure and simple makes the world go around. It sucks but it is true. I think Ibogaine is a gift from God. The answer to addiction is growing in the ground in Africa. God is wondering what took us so long to find it. The underground providers are doing treatments out of love. I know because they came to our house and stayed a while. Doing so just ‘aint’ cost effective. I never saw the inside of a hotel room but desperate times call for desperate measures and some people have no choice other than to take the treatment in a hotel room. To imply that my provider or any provider I have met has anything to do with the deaths gets my southern dander up. These people care about your soul. They are taking a supreme risk and they are most definitely not doing it for the money. I know the ballpark figures and they are not raking addicts over the coals for all they can get. I trusted my provider right off the bat. That’s hard for a junkie to do. I’d do it again. I just don’t think I would do that with Ms. Mash. I don’t trust her intentions. Ibogaine is here and it won’t be denied no matter the money.  Our government dictates that there will be a struggle over money and the power therein anytime more than two dollars can be made. I think that is why it is still illegal here. Nobody can figure out how to manipulate the system so as to make the majority of the cash. Meanwhile addicts suffer. It is obvious that our suffering is inconsequential to the powers that be. So we take matters into our own hands. Thank God for the underground or I would be sprung right now. I hope I didn’t piss anyone off I’m just sayin.’ (no shrug) This list rocks. Thanks Patrick     Randy

From: “m.finman” <mafinman@optonline.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 29, 2004 at 3:38:48 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Jasen,
I understand the fatigue part.  I was too fatigued to be bored.  I also found a lot of what I went through during my session didn’t come to the surface and make sense until something, usually very obscure, or someones action, inuendo or verbalizations clicked something in my memory(brain or mind?) that made me understand the significance of some of my visions.  It was also about being alone with someone(self) that you’re not sure of what is your motivation, likes, dislikes, reactions to things now that it’s not thru a drug veil.  Note the difference between being alone and lonely, or solace and isolation, or time to reflect and boredom.
Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me.
Haven’t you noticed, suddenley we’re light and breezy,
Because of all the beautiful and new things I’m learning about you day by day!
I know this is Korny as hell but it just came out.  I never was a hugh fan of showtunes.  Where ever inspiration and acknowledgment comes, hey it’s all good!
Truth be told, I feel like the noribogaine has left my brain. Elvis has left the building!!  I have had some lower dips than the past few months but am still doing ok.  I guess this is the reality part.  My advice to you would be to do whatever work on yourself spiritually, emotionally, physically (to stay balanced) so you can stay healthy.  I am looking forward to starting an already long standing established Ibogaine therapy group on Thursday.  I’ll be the new kid on the block.
Jasen, I feel you are an intelligent, kind, open minded, receptive young man and I’m in your corner along with so many others and all your angels.
Sending healing energy and love your way,
Martee

—– Original Message —– From: <slowone@hush.ai>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 2:28 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

You could try singing? Drawing? Explore those vibrations and see
what further healing and messages come when you take the active
role in place of eboga, carrying on your healing. Boredom may be
just the veil your habits are throwing over the next stage. Beware
of endings that amount to dissatisfaction. 🙂

On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 02:57:33 -0800 Sara Glatt <sara119@xs4all.nl>
wrote:
THANKS randy.
I AM SOOO BORED,CANYOU GUYS COME OVER.
You are right about aftercare,there is a lot of work to be done to

heal the
world.
I realised something being over the other side of the world,your
vibratioal
frequencies tune into
Different parts of the world depending on where you are born,which

port hole
on earth through your mothers womb,life without end,..a spiral,no
beginning
and no end
So when you live away from where you were born,it can feel as if
everything
is twice as hard.Like you are going against the grain..

IT MAY BE THE ONLY WAY HOWEVER IN CAN BE DONE IN A MUCH BIGGER AND
BETTERWAY,IF GREED MOVED OVER A TRIFLE.
Sara’S is very affordable. Just fuc ing boring. SORRY sara,I do
love you and
you are a princess,the bwiti princess,her vibes hide her princess
appearances as others see her,but I KNOW BECAUSE I saw,SARA IS THE

bwiti
PRINCESS.

Eboga must be taken naturally,to be effective on every plain,to
work on
every frequency the body neads to heal.WE ARE 4 DIMENSIOAL BEINGS
and need
healing on all freqences. Science and Natural medicine must work
together.
Love you all Jasen.
_____

Van: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com]
Verzonden: maandag 22 november 2004 12:32
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Jasen you freakin’  ROCKKK. See. It’s the only way, huh. Tell us
more when
you can. How long are you going to be there? I’d stay as long as I

could if
I were you. Everybody was right about aftercare. It sure makes me
feel
better about everything.     Randy

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] nypd drug busts on ave. d on tv NOW
Date: November 29, 2004 at 3:18:44 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Cc: <drugwar@mindvox.com>

p.s., Preston, I am personally very disappointed in NYC.  First Times
Square, then the LES…  It’s all become Happy Shiny Safe & Sanitized.
The Horror!  Before you know it, they’ll ban smoking in otherwise
healthy places like bars.  “I’m sorry sir, you can’t light a cigarette
while your getting drunk inside Mars.  Don’t you know they’re bad for
you?  It’s still okay to bang up in the bathrooms, just wipe up your
own blood please and use the mop if you’re a lightweight and vomit all
over things n’ stuff.”
Nah, that’s just a bad dream; never happen.<

Ahh, you tourist. You gotta know where to GO to drink and smok…oh, hold on, that bad dream you’re talking about? Never mind, I don’t want to depress you any further.
;-))

How is this different from every other day — other than the camera
crew.<

How is it different? Um, well, I sat and watched it? It was right outside my door? I wasn’t being arrested? LOL, there’s LOTS of ways it’s different…this time.

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Patrick K. Kroupa” <digital@phantom.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Cc: <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2004 11:22 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] nypd drug busts on ave. d on tv NOW

On Nov 29, 2004, at 12:35 AM, Preston Peet wrote:

channel Discovery Times is showing drug busts on Ave. D. Remember Ave. D Patrick?

Mmmmmm, Avenue D.  HappY!  So many good memories.  HOW DARE THEY!?!??!?!?!

This SUCKS! Cops on rooftops busting people in my neighborhood, on tv. Police state central.

How is this different from every other day — other than the camera crew.

Walking through hot spots in Harlem or da glorious South Bronx — Hunts Point!  Coke, Dope & Ho’s! — there’s often a group of little kids bouncing around or sitting on car hoods, staring at some rooftop and getting Very Excited.  LooOOK!!!@#!#@#  THE MAN is PLAYING a FUN GAME! They’re gathered on Yet Another Rooftop.  They’re plaYing (ops & R0bberZ@#!@#!@#!!!!!!  2 (oOl!

Anyway, it’s on now on tv. And so far, no arrests, just attempted drug busts. I love it.

TelebiyzshuN.  The Magical Glowing boX.  Fun for All Eternity.

Patrick

p.s., Preston, I am personally very disappointed in NYC.  First Times Square, then the LES…  It’s all become Happy Shiny Safe & Sanitized. The Horror!  Before you know it, they’ll ban smoking in otherwise healthy places like bars.  “I’m sorry sir, you can’t light a cigarette while your getting drunk inside Mars.  Don’t you know they’re bad for you?  It’s still okay to bang up in the bathrooms, just wipe up your own blood please and use the mop if you’re a lightweight and vomit all over things n’ stuff.”

Nah, that’s just a bad dream; never happen.

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] received message
Date: November 29, 2004 at 11:59:16 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I get the ezmlm warnings every now and again too. Bouncing means that for some reason they bounce out of your mailbox and back to sender system. Not a security issue as far as I know. The serious words like warning and tracking etc., etc. make you think something is really gone awry. No big issue I think! Don’t worry…..your security or anonymity has not been breached!
Peace, Callie

From: Patrick K. Kroupa <digital@phantom.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] nypd drug busts on ave. d on tv NOW
Date: November 29, 2004 at 11:22:34 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Cc: <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

On Nov 29, 2004, at 12:35 AM, Preston Peet wrote:

channel Discovery Times is showing drug busts on Ave. D. Remember Ave. D Patrick?

Mmmmmm, Avenue D.  HappY!  So many good memories.  HOW DARE THEY!?!??!?!?!

This SUCKS! Cops on rooftops busting people in my neighborhood, on tv. Police state central.

How is this different from every other day — other than the camera crew.

Walking through hot spots in Harlem or da glorious South Bronx — Hunts Point!  Coke, Dope & Ho’s! — there’s often a group of little kids bouncing around or sitting on car hoods, staring at some rooftop and getting Very Excited.  LooOOK!!!@#!#@#  THE MAN is PLAYING a FUN GAME!  They’re gathered on Yet Another Rooftop.  They’re plaYing (ops & R0bberZ@#!@#!@#!!!!!!  2 (oOl!

Anyway, it’s on now on tv. And so far, no arrests, just attempted drug busts. I love it.

TelebiyzshuN.  The Magical Glowing boX.  Fun for All Eternity.

Patrick

p.s., Preston, I am personally very disappointed in NYC.  First Times Square, then the LES…  It’s all become Happy Shiny Safe & Sanitized.  The Horror!  Before you know it, they’ll ban smoking in otherwise healthy places like bars.  “I’m sorry sir, you can’t light a cigarette while your getting drunk inside Mars.  Don’t you know they’re bad for you?  It’s still okay to bang up in the bathrooms, just wipe up your own blood please and use the mop if you’re a lightweight and vomit all over things n’ stuff.”

Nah, that’s just a bad dream; never happen.

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: Patrick K. Kroupa <digital@phantom.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801
Date: November 29, 2004 at 11:01:06 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

On Nov 26, 2004, at 11:08 PM, Ron Davis wrote:

no program to open
—– Original Message —– From: <ibogaine-digest-help@mindvox.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 10:06 AM
Subject: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801

Ron … just to ask a crazy question, why are you signed up for the digest and the list, simultaeneously — like, all at once for instance…  If you really do want TwicE tHe FuN, and double the joy, far be it from me to argue.

When you doubleclick the digest, whatever box you are using — I’m gonna guess Windoze — does not know what to open it WITH.  It’s just a plain text file; throw it on any text editor like Notepad or whatever, and then it’ll associate that app with the digests, in the future — unless it doesn’t… In which case it won’t work at all, or partially, and only once.  After that, the only other way to get it to work is to put on magickIcaL RubY reD slipPerz and click your heels together three times and say, “I believe!”

Photoz plZ

Patrick

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From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] received message & Treatment
Date: November 29, 2004 at 10:03:24 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Ron,

I imagine internet servers (which route emails) do all kind of weird and wonderful things. Clearly you are receiving messages and sending. If some are bounced it probably doesn’t make a lot of difference as they keep reappearing anyway. Unles there is a specific message you are looking for?

Forgive me if I ask and I ask with all due respect. Have you made a full action plan for yourself yet? I did read somewhere where you were attempting to taper. Hows that going? Where do you go from there?

From what i have read you have received pretty much all the advice anyone can give you here on the list. So the best this list can do for you right now is to send words of support your way.

If I were in your shoes I would decide whether or not to be treated and then I would probably contact Sara (who has the most open ended & creative treatment available) and who can take care of you even if the treatment is not successful. (You wrote once you would get on a plane tomorrow if you thought the treatment would be successful). Amsterdam has got to be the one place in the world where you can receive practically any kind of drug related assistance necessary. So you are not going to die from the lack of a fix – if it comes to that.

Sara also has pure ibogaine – as far as I know.

So how about it? You have nothing to lose.

I keep my fingers crossed that you decide to go for it and get on that plane and get out of the scary corner you seem to be living in – which it seems is paralysing you from acting on your own behalf.

Love & Light to You

Lee

Ron Davis <rwd3@cox.net> wrote:
i do not know what bouncing means.  does it mean someone is reading my email? i have security.  please clue me in.  i know very little about computers and what all this means.  i here looking for a way to get and stay straight and save my life.  please help me understand what’s going on.  ron..at work today

http://www.my-eboga.com

Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Moving house? Beach bar in Thailand? New Wardrobe? Win £10k with Yahoo! Mail to make your dream a reality.

From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 29, 2004 at 9:47:09 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear “not so slow” Slowone

Thank you very much for your reply. Very interesting indeed.

In my own case (apart from 3 therapeutic MDMA sessions after my first eboga experience) I have based the past 6 years of my journey on the sacramental use of eboga to travel the inner recesses of my psyche and encounter the hidden demons of my past. I have unlocked practically every door (I am presently aware of) within me and have experienced nothing short of miraculous recovery. I eagerly look forward to completing the 3 books I am working on to share all the details of what I have experienced.

So I have not felt any need to enter the world of ayahuasca. However from what you write it is definitely something I will explore at some stage. Forgive me if I say (what some may take as heresy) but I find eboga to be a complete cure when used with the right intention, a sufficiently discerning mind and a heart that seeks as its ultimate goal a deep experience of love. Why?

Because it is very much spiritually guided and events in one life fall into place to move the process along if one is willing to undergo the changes and take the risks.

I like what you say about eboga and how it brings you in contact with specific deep issues. (I assume we are talking about low doses here) It confirms exactly what I am trying to promote in my writings: the use of eboga to resolve childhood trauma and abuse and to advance ones spirituality via the growth of consciousness which ensues.

There is absolutely no doubt that ongoing use of eboga is both surprising and humbling. It is also wonderfully liberating.

The part I find interesting for myself is how I went from a scientific agnostic to a believer & admirer of the God and the Goddess. Two great kind (non imposing) and generous entities in my opinon. You could say the perfect parents. And yet with them I sense a humility which accepts me lovingly as I am and allows me to grow from there. Its almost like a growing friendship.

Good idea to use as an adjunct to therapy.

One observation I would make on the healing action of eboga is this. A particular emotion such as abandonment, loss of a loved one etc can be resolved (when the time is right) by an experience of accelerated healing with eboga. By that I mean, the concentration of all the pain is oosed out of the psyche like the puss from a boil and that is something which conventional therapy imo cannot do. That is why I recommend to anyone who is interested in full recovery to invest time and trust in its healing ways. It has many miracles to offer.

Love & Peace

Lee

slowone@hush.ai wrote:
On Sun, 28 Nov 2004 05:38:59 -0800 Lee Albert
wrote:
>It sounds as though (from what you write) ayahuasca by its nature
>is more rewarding in the group experience?

For me it has been.

>Yet I would not make
>the same observation about eboga – perhaps at a certain stage it
>could be something to explore – as the experience tends to be
>highly personal – for the most part.

My solo eboga experiences have been mixed. Immediate issues such as
obsessive blocked anger have been resolved nicely, and sometimes I
have gotten insights into deeper problems, but it seems that eboga
in sufficient dose ultimately draws me to a trauma which I cannot
handle. Maybe someday.. meanwhile I can work on building a better
me. A mere taste on the tongue before therapy is my main use at
this point.

>I certainly agree that any experience has its own optimum set &
>setting.

For ibogaine I believe that could be a group of caring and
compassionate people who would welcome the person into the world
and compensate for all the pain and neglect that may have been
suffered at the hands of others. The baby physical helplessness of
the ibogaine experience is a wonderful opportunity to learn to
depend on others, for those of us who have been Gollum-ized by this
world.

Economics dictate that this would either be a church or a group
treatment and therapy setting.

In the meantime, the better integration with aftercare, the better.

>I am curious what you mean by deep body learning?

Long tedious absorption of the vine, with little or none of the DMT
‘light’ to take the mind elsewhere, followed by some weeks of
feeling more grounded and having insights comparable to post-eboga.
Possibly it could be like noribogaine if one could take that
directly.

>What do you see as its (ayahuasca) ongoing benefits?

Briefly, strength and love, if used for that purpose.

If you read the literature, and the experience reports on erowid
and elsewhere, you will find that the cultures and personal
experiences are all over the map.

>Are you located in Holland?

No.

>Hope I am not bombarding you with too many questions. Its an area
>I no little about but am curious to understand better. What I have

>read has not really enlightened me much.

From my reading, ibogaine and secondarily ayahuasca stood out as
entheogens that lead to deep learning about oneself that can lead
to real personal change. In both cases personal experience has been
surprising and humbling.

>
>slowone@hush.ai wrote:
>On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 04:15:16 -0800 Lee Albert
>wrote:
>>Similarly I am not a great fan of DMT from what I have read as I
>>think its a shortcut to spiritual dimensions best reserved for
>>those whose souls have been prepared for the experience.
>Otherwise
>
>>the combination of ones own inner demons coupled with the doors
>>which are been opened can lead to serious problems afterwards
>imo.
>
>In my experience, the container is all-important. So far the best
>one for me is group singing in a church setting, which is what I
>started with. The first time I did my own homebrew, the message
>was, “why are you doing this alone, your path is to connect with
>people,” and the church has been my satisfaction and growth ever
>since. (I also learn in free-form group singing without the
>religious or entheogenic aspects.) Plus with ayahuasca there is
>the
>vine, which on its own can take one on a slow unhallucinogenic
>path
>of deep body learning. It is all work, the hardest and deepest
>that
>one is capable of, no shortcuts I thoroughly agree.
>
>
>
>
>
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Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: [Ibogaine] received message
Date: November 29, 2004 at 9:10:45 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

i do not know what bouncing means.  does it mean someone is reading my email? i have security.  please clue me in.  i know very little about computers and what all this means.  i here looking for a way to get and stay straight and save my life.  please help me understand what’s going on.  ron..at work today

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] for Ron Jim to Ron
Date: November 29, 2004 at 9:06:21 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

DH:
can you tell me what bouncing messages mean?  i’ve tried to follow protocol but must be missing something. i know little of computers.  i’ forwarding an old message from schmooly with your follow up.  i d/n want to be taken off this list, but do not know what to do to remedy it.  can you help or will you help?  many thanks, ron rwd3@cox.net
—– Original Message —–
From: D H
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Saturday, November 20, 2004 5:31 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] for Ron Jim to Ron

Tapering slowly is the only way i know of kicking benzo’s.

And Scmooleyboy has a point.

Taking responsibility for yourself is generally a pre-requisite for overcoming any sort of addiction.

then comes the action part, the “doing”.

You’re only ready when you are truly ready.

On Saturday, November 20, 2004, at 07:12 AM, Schmoolyboy@aol.com wrote:

Ron,
You keep blameing everyone but youyrself. Yes, most doctors suck. But there are good king knowlegable people out there who will help you. If you know what is right for you, why don’t you just do it. You can buy valium or any other benzo on the web without vere seeing a doc.

Do the teper, get a program, deal with the posy acute withdrawal that will last 3-6 months and alas—- you get your life back.

Get off the pity pot, it’s sounding old. I know this is really hard but on some level no matter how you do it, you must pay the piper.

I kinbow numerous folks who are benzo clean because they really wanted it. wanted more then anything else. They did exactly what they where told to do by qualified detox experts who had a proven track record and they made it. was it hell?–yes to some degree. was it worth it? they always say yes.

From: “Nick Sandberg” <nick227@tiscali.co.uk>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Darpan facing charge of trafficking ayahuasca
Date: November 29, 2004 at 5:09:02 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Heard about this today. I met this guy over the summer, he’s very lovely. Could be a tough case. If anyone wants to get in touch to give legal advice or local support please mail me off list

Nick

My beloved friends and fellow travellers,
On 12/11/04 I was apprehended by
the federal police in australia for less than a litre
of ayahuasca which was found in unaccompanied baggage
sent to me from europe. Ayahuasca is not on the
restricted list in this country so I have been charged
with importation of its contents, namely harmine and
dimethyltryptamine, both of which are schedule 1
restricted substances in their chemically extracted
form. Because anything ove 0.5g is considered a
trafficable quantity, I have also been charged with
trafficking. Considering that 800mls of ayahuasca
constitutes 8 or 9 doses this is patently absurd
however the authorities are taking this very
seriously. I was kept in custody for 3 days and am now
out on $100,000 bail. The maximum sentence under these
charges include up to 20 years in jail. There is no
precedent for a case such as this in this country so
it seems I am relegated to battle this out in the
courts. I am currently seeking the best legal
representation and hope to have the charges thrown out
of court. Any assistance whether it be financial or
information on overseas precedents would be most
gratefully accepted. In any case, I would ask that you
send me your loving thoughts and prayers in these
challenging times. My connection to you, my family of
light, is what will sustain me and give me strength. I
have faith that awareness and light will be brought to
bear in this difficult situation and that ultimately,
good will come of this. I feel fully in my integrity
in facing these charges and am prepared to stand up
for what I believe is right. I am so grateful for the
gifts and blessings I have already received from the
Mother. I trust that even in this challenging
situation a beautiful and rare jewel will be revealed.
Om Shanti
Darpan

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths
Date: November 29, 2004 at 4:43:52 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I have got to speak my mind. I hope I can do so without shooting myself in the dick. This is sacred ground to me. Right here. This list. I have been clean only because of the people and now friends who post here, and those who let me rant without giving me too much shit about it. This is part of my own self imposed therapy. I love the people here. This just my opinion so here goes. Who cares if Patrick and Ms. Mash have some kind of relationship. She’s good lookin’, I’d go for it too. That doesn’t mean that they agree on everything. Personally I don’t think Ms. Mash is using Ibogaine in the spirit it was intended to be used with. Seems the pygmies freely gave it to the Bwiti’s who then used it and saw the good in it. Our monetary system is starting to screw up the whole works. Money pure and simple makes the world go around. It sucks but it is true. I think Ibogaine is a gift from God. The answer to addiction is growing in the ground in Africa. God is wondering what took us so long to find it. The underground providers are doing treatments out of love. I know because they came to our house and stayed a while. Doing so just ‘aint’ cost effective. I never saw the inside of a hotel room but desperate times call for desperate measures and some people have no choice other than to take the treatment in a hotel room. To imply that my provider or any provider I have met has anything to do with the deaths gets my southern dander up. These people care about your soul. They are taking a supreme risk and they are most definitely not doing it for the money. I know the ballpark figures and they are not raking addicts over the coals for all they can get. I trusted my provider right off the bat. That’s hard for a junkie to do. I’d do it again. I just don’t think I would do that with Ms. Mash. I don’t trust her intentions. Ibogaine is here and it won’t be denied no matter the money.  Our government dictates that there will be a struggle over money and the power therein anytime more than two dollars can be made. I think that is why it is still illegal here. Nobody can figure out how to manipulate the system so as to make the majority of the cash. Meanwhile addicts suffer. It is obvious that our suffering is inconsequential to the powers that be. So we take matters into our own hands. Thank God for the underground or I would be sprung right now. I hope I didn’t piss anyone off I’m just sayin.’ (no shrug) This list rocks. Thanks Patrick     Randy

From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths
Date: November 29, 2004 at 12:42:00 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I did not at all mean to hassle Dr Mash. Just tell her that some folks have questions and concerns and then she could decide if she wanted to share. If I were her I would not mind repeating what I said to reporter. If I were her and did not share with reporter there were deaths I would want to clear that up too.
I also do not think she is accountable to anyone involved in Ibogaine. We can only be accountable for ourselves and our actions.
No need to apologize,
Callie

From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] nypd drug busts on ave. d on tv NOW
Date: November 29, 2004 at 12:35:13 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>, <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

channel Discovery Times is showing drug busts on Ave. D. Remember Ave. D Patrick?
This SUCKS! Cops on rooftops busting people in my neighborhood, on tv. Police state central.
Anyway, it’s on now on tv. And so far, no arrests, just attempted drug busts. I love it.
;-0)))) (But it’s early, But damnit they’re crusing my streets, and have no busted little graffitti artists for marijuana. Darn it, pigs.)

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

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From: Vector Vector <vector620022002@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:46:23 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Callie I wasn’t being serious I don’t get the impression that Mash is
going to chat about her opinions with anyone on the list 😉 I’m sure
Patrick has no trouble finding her, he sees her every day and he only
runs Mindvox. I’m sure Schmooly has no trouble finding her.  I’m sure
that parts of the list are read by her or even the whole list goes to
some mailbox of hers. I don’t think she has the belief thats anything
she does is accountable to anyone else involved with ibogaine.

My impressions only 🙂 I also think that hassling Mash isn’t going to
make any big positive change. Years of that and all the lawsuits in the
world havne’t done it. Maybe Patrick will get hassled for people from
Mindvox who dare to bother her 😉 That will be about it.

Her email appears all over Mindvox, all over the net, University of
Miami, she’s not hard to look up.

Sorry Patrick 😉

.:vector:.

— CallieMimosa@aol.com wrote:

In a message dated 11/28/2004 8:08:30 PM Central
Standard Time,
vector620022002@yahoo.com writes:

think  the only person with the data would be
Patrick’s mom, that Dr. Mash lady 😉

anyone know how to get in touch with Mash? I think I
had her e-mail  addy at
one time but have yet to find it today. If anyone
has it, invite her to  list
to explain what she told reporter.
Think?
Callie

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

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From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:17:26 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/28/2004 8:08:30 PM Central Standard Time, vector620022002@yahoo.com writes:
think the only person with the data would be
Patrick’s mom, that Dr. Mash lady 😉

anyone know how to get in touch with Mash? I think I had her e-mail addy at one time but have yet to find it today. If anyone has it, invite her to list to explain what she told reporter.
Think?
Callie

From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Paula
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:02:56 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Paula,
Could or would you share about yourself? Of course, it is not necessary but you have piqued my curiosity. First with that very angry and judgmental (in my opinion) post to my friend Preston. Then again by posting all these articles in anger management.
Are you trying to redeem yourself? If so, it is not necessary. An apology never hurts but that is really not necessary unless it honestly comes from your heart.
If you have already shared about yourself, please forgive me as I must have missed it.
Callie

From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 28, 2004 at 10:10:09 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/28/2004 11:32:31 AM Central Standard Time, HSLotsof@aol.com writes:
Too bad Sara and Schmoolyboy are not working together.  Then you
could have the best of both worlds.

What a treatment team a lot of you could be if you all could work together! The ‘Ibogaine Dream Team’!!!!!!!lol!
Callie

From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Schmoolyboy_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 28, 2004 at 9:14:57 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I have just read this stuff in books. They state 300 dosages in 3 years. Yet, I know people who have done more then that amount and are fine.

The crash ,,they say is serotonin depletion. They recoommend taling 20 mgs Prosac 0ne – two hours after taking X. Others say to take it the next day. Taking it while on x makes sense.

I have never felt a crash from it but have only tried it a few times.

It made me throw up at first but the sex on it was spiritual mystic great etc…

From: Vector Vector <vector620022002@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] ibogaine deaths
Date: November 28, 2004 at 9:04:25 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I don’t think this flew under the radar. These deaths have been talked
about here so many times over years of time, at least one or two of
them when they happened. I think the only person with the data would be
Patrick’s mom, that Dr. Mash lady 😉 I’m not sure the exact reaons why,
I do however think that she is recogised as the worldwide authority on
ibogaine in humans, so whenever there is a death the police invite her.
I’m sure Patrick or Howard could explain better or tell me I’m wrong 🙂
If there is any ‘real data’ I don’t think anyone is going to hand it
out 😉

.:vector:.

— BiscuitBoy714@aol.com wrote:

Sara, thank you for asking the obvious. I’m trying to keep a positive

attitude so I won’t rant about what was said. Why haven’t we heard
about this? Are we suddenly out of the loop? I don’t believe that we
are. Seems like someone would have heard about this. How do we know
this wasn’t self administered? Is there any post mortem blood work on

any of these people? I’d sure like to see some real data on this. If
there is any.          Randy

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: “Ann B. Mullikin” <think@francomm.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks
Date: November 28, 2004 at 8:12:20 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I think maybe Sara might be just the person to write such a letter to the editor
don’t you?  After all, people need to be made responsible for their claims
especially when they are in a position to cause harm to those who are trying
to bring assistance to all of those in need of that help.

My two cents worth!!!

ann
think@francomm.com

Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks

In a message dated 11/28/04 5:19:18 PM, sara119@xs4all.nl writes:

<< How many people died in an Hotel room after they have been treated

With Ibogaine?

how many died from Heroin over dose in an Hotel room?

How is it possible to know?

Where can I get an info. About Ibogaine death in Hotel rooms? >>

Well Sara,

I would say you have to go to the source.  See quoted material below.

<<There have been several documented deaths in connection with the drug. But
because the ibogaine was not taken in a clinical setting, the cause of death
was never firmly established. Some fatalities may have been caused by
preexisting heart conditions made lethal by ibogaine’s effects. Mash is confident that
there are more that have gone unreported. “There are some pretty unethical
people” giving clandestine treatments, she says. “They just leave patients for
dead in hotel rooms.”>>

If Mash has knowledge of ibogaine fatalities and is withholding information,
that would seem pretty serious of itself.  If she doesn’t have such
information then that cetainly leaves a lot wanting for a scientist to make
unsubstantiated claims of this kind.  Possibly a letter to the editor of the LA times
might be appropriate to seek clarification.

Howard

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From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks
Date: November 28, 2004 at 7:53:36 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/28/04 5:19:18 PM, sara119@xs4all.nl writes:

<< How many people died in an Hotel room after they have been treated

With Ibogaine?

how many died from Heroin over dose in an Hotel room?

How is it possible to know?

Where can I get an info. About Ibogaine death in Hotel rooms? >>

Well Sara,

I would say you have to go to the source.  See quoted material below.

<<There have been several documented deaths in connection with the drug. But
because the ibogaine was not taken in a clinical setting, the cause of death
was never firmly established. Some fatalities may have been caused by
preexisting heart conditions made lethal by ibogaine’s effects. Mash is confident that
there are more that have gone unreported. “There are some pretty unethical
people” giving clandestine treatments, she says. “They just leave patients for
dead in hotel rooms.”>>

If Mash has knowledge of ibogaine fatalities and is withholding information,
that would seem pretty serious of itself.  If she doesn’t have such
information then that cetainly leaves a lot wanting for a scientist to make
unsubstantiated claims of this kind.  Possibly a letter to the editor of the LA times
might be appropriate to seek clarification.

Howard

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks
Date: November 28, 2004 at 7:22:52 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Sara, thank you for asking the obvious. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude so I won’t rant about what was said. Why haven’t we heard about this? Are we suddenly out of the loop? I don’t believe that we are. Seems like someone would have heard about this. How do we know this wasn’t self administered? Is there any post mortem blood work on any of these people? I’d sure like to see some real data on this. If there is any.          Randy

From: Rachel Radhakrishna <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] aftercare
Date: November 28, 2004 at 6:20:25 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Surprise surprise, my mother has joined the 21st
century.

We danced at String Cheese last night and it was
mostly good.  Jeff told some friends what was going
on, and it was interesting to hear and witness their
reactions.  I abandoned him in the afterblur, and
ended up talking to the Mama Prankster Goddess about
holding up one’s man whilst kickin’ and learned quite
a lot.   Like to take better care of myself!  “Ooh,
they get so CRANKY don’t they???”

Yeah… for all the stressing I did before the
treatment, preparing about his  mood changes
afterwards was not part of my outlook.  Got him some
GABA for mood stabilization and 5-HTP today at the
Whole Foods, and also a chlorophyll-oxygen liquid.

This afternoon clouds in the sky look like angels
eating Eboga or peyote over the Philadelphia Art
Museum, and a hawk flies, soaring, to land on the
copper ornamentation at the peak of the building.  We
sit on our own perch above the Schuykill River,
watching the wood detritus float and flop and turn in
the little falls.  My life feels like I am a piece of
snapped off tree branch, caught in an eddy at the
bottom of a waterfall.  Yet I can sit above on the
cliff with my arms spread out, setting sun shining
warm, and wind blowing me into another, altogether
glorious state.  Jeff warns me not to try to fly, and
I laugh sadly, wishing that jumping off the edge was
easier for me to contemplate.  His hair was blowing
wild, a mane of silver light, and very handsome.

It’s good to be not in New York, and out of that
fucking apartment.  Even if my mom thinks he has
anemia and I hate having to lie to her.

Anyway,  love to all, especially the bitches, as I
showed myself to be a royal one last night.  xo Rachel

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Take Yahoo! Mail with you! Get it on your mobile phone.
http://mobile.yahoo.com/maildemo

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From: “Vigilius Haufniensis” <thehatefulnerd@sbcglobal.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks
Date: November 28, 2004 at 7:21:15 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Where can I get an info. About Ibogaine death in Hotel rooms?Sara

VMANN:  try here:
http://scholar.google.com/
vigilius haufniensis

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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks
Date: November 28, 2004 at 5:17:56 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Howard,

How many people died in an Hotel room after they have been treated
With Ibogaine?
how many died from Heroin over dose in an Hotel room?
How is it possible to know?

Where can I get an info. About Ibogaine death in Hotel rooms?

Sara

—–Oorspronkelijk bericht—–
Van: Ann B. Mullikin [mailto:think@francomm.com]
Verzonden: zaterdag 27 november 2004 21:48
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks

Thank you very much for taking the time and trouble to put this up!!!!

ann
think@francomm.com

—– Original Message —–
From: <HSLotsof@aol.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 2:01 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks

————————————————————————

http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-ibogaine48nov28,
0,
775349.story?coll=la-home-magazine

The Magical Mystery Tour

Drug and alcohol addicts are going abroad in search of the purported
miracle
treatment called ibogaine. But will the drug industry embrace a substance
that
causes a hallucinatory high?
By Vince Beiser
Special to The Times

November 28, 2004
The hallucinations are coming fast and vivid. Faces, shapes, colors rush
toward him, melting and swirling into each other, sometimes coalescing
into more
concrete visions. He sees himself floating underwater. By turns, his four
children drift by. Sometimes they blow bubbles and float happily up to the

surface;
sometimes they sink straight down, disappearing into darkness. Then there
are
three ships, coming in to dock at three tubes; he knows, somehow, that
they
are building a bomb, and if all three dock successfully it will explode.
He
tries to direct them away, but can’t. The final ship enters the final
tube. A
titanic explosion collapses everything into darkness.

Then it all starts again.

While Craig’s mind reels through this visual cacophony, his body lies
quietly
in a darkened room in a house near Tijuana, deep in the grip of a powerful
psychedelic drug. His wife, his children and his upper-middle-class home
in Salt
Lake City are all far, far away.

Craig is not some crystal-collecting spiritual seeker on a Carlos
Castańeda
trip. He is a prosperous, respected restaurant owner, age 50. He is
friendly
with the mayor and active in mainstream charities. Other than family
vacations
to the Bahamas and Mazatlan, Mexico, this is the only time he has been
outside
of the United States.

Craig is here because he is desperate. He is addicted to
painkillers—OxyContin, Lortab and other illegally obtained prescription
opiates. His habit is
costing him $1,500 a month, and he knows he must stop. Conventional detox
programs
have failed to help, so he has slipped over the border to try a treatment
that is as much an urban myth as a scientifically proven medication—and is

as
illegal as heroin in the United States.

The treatment is a dose of a powerful hallucinogen called ibogaine. It is
derived from the roots of a shrub called Tabernanthe iboga that grows in
Africa.
Local tribespeople have used it as a peyote-like sacrament for
generations.
Since the 1960s, it has circulated on the margins of Western drug culture,
sustained by its reputation as a potent healer. A single daylong trip on
ibogaine,
lore has it, can help break an addiction to heroin, cocaine, alcohol or
even
cigarettes.

Other hallucinogens such as Ecstasy have purported to be helpful in
treating
addiction, but interest in ibogaine seems to be approaching critical mass.

The
increasing number of anecdotal success stories has attracted the attention

of
researchers. Although there is no rock-solid proof, scientific consensus
is
growing that this drug may indeed possess potent addiction-thwarting
properties.

Regardless of what science says, faith is flourishing. A devoted community
has grown up around ibogaine—a motley congregation of former junkies,
envelope-pushing academics and drug-reform zealots helping to spread
awareness and use
of the drug. There reportedly are at least two underground activists in
the
U.S. who will provide it to seekers illegally. But taking ibogaine doesn’t

have
to involve breaking laws, because it’s legal in many countries. As a
result,
clinics are popping up from the Caribbean to Pakistan, offering ibogaine
treatment for a few thousand dollars to well over $10,000.

The clinic near Tijuana is, relatively speaking, among the most reputable.

It
was opened in 2001 by Martin Polanco, a Mexican doctor who was impressed
with
how ibogaine—obtained at an underground U.S. clinic—had helped one of his
relatives beat cocaine addiction. Polanco’s facility, known as the
Ibogaine
Association, has administered more than 350 treatments and currently has
10 to 15
new patients a month, says program director Randy Hencken.

Hencken, a gangly 28-year-old with curly hair and little studs in each
ear,
was one of Polanco’s first patients. He had dropped out of college at 21
to
devote himself to cocaine and, eventually, heroin. Over the years, he
tried
everything from 12-step programs to methadone to get clean, but nothing
worked. He
discovered ibogaine on the Internet, made his way to Polanco’s facility,
and
returned with his addiction broken. He has since embraced the cause with a
convert’s zeal, taking a job as the association’s main organizer.

On the summer day Craig is to begin his ibogaine experience, Hencken is
padding around a San Diego apartment that doubles as the association’s
U.S. office.
The place fits naturally in the beachside slacker-student-surfer
neighborhood. The front room is furnished with worn couches and a computer

emblazoned with
a Jane’s Addiction sticker. A bike and surfboards hang on hooks in the
kitchen.

Hencken, dressed in a black T-shirt and pants, hops into an unmarked van
and
drives to a dingy airport motel. Waiting in the parking lot is Craig, a
trim,
compact man wearing loafers, khakis and a Nike T-shirt.

“I’ve got to admit this is a little weird,” says Craig, who flew in from
Salt
Lake the night before. “I feel like we’re doing a drug deal.” Which, in a
sense, they are. Craig gets in the van and they roll south.

Craig is highly motivated to undertake this bizarre journey. He was an
alcoholic for years, with the smashed cars and nights in jail to show for
it. He
quit drinking 16 years ago and has stayed sober. But a few years ago he
was
prescribed painkillers for a knee injury and discovered that he liked
them. He
began downing fistfuls of pills daily, scoring them from one of his
employees. “At
first it was recreational,” he recalls. “But then you find yourself doing
them just to get from point A to B and you know it’s a problem.”

Last year, he checked himself into a rehab center and went cold turkey.
“It
was horrible,” he says. “You hurt from your bones in. I couldn’t sleep. I
cried
like a baby. I’d take hot baths all day and eat ibuprofen like candy.” He
stayed clean for six weeks and then fell off the wagon.

“I can’t stop myself. But I know I can’t go down that road again like I
did
with alcohol,” he says. “But when you’re on opiates, it really hurts to
stop.”
So when his dealer, who had been scouring the Internet for unconventional
ways
to kick drugs, told Craig about the Ibogaine Association, he decided he
had
little to lose.

“I just need to get this stuff out of my system,” he says, “and I’m
looking
for an easier, softer way.”

Ibogaine, as even its most ardent supporters say, is not a cure for drug
dependence; however, it apparently can play a potent role as an
addiction-interrupter. The drug has two powerful addiction-fighting
effects. The first is
biochemical: It seems to act on serotonin and opiate systems in the brain,
physically nullifying a person’s craving for drugs and smoothing their
withdrawal
symptoms. That’s a huge boon for those addicted to heroin and other
opiates, many
of whom shrink from the physical pain of detox.

“It has been proved to alleviate the pain and physical discomfort of drug
withdrawal with animals,” says Dr. Stanley Glick, a neuropharmacologist at

Albany
Medical Center in New York who has researched the drug for years. “And
there
are lots of reports of it doing the same with humans. You hear the same
story
a few thousand times, you’ve got to believe there’s something there.”

After a few weeks, this craving-blocking effect generally fades. But by
then,
users have been able to detox relatively painlessly, and then have a month

or
more free of drug cravings in which to do whatever it takes to stay clean.

“One dose of ibogaine is not a magic bullet,” says Dr. Deborah Mash, a
neurology professor at the University of Miami who has done the most
extensive
research on ibogaine’s effects on human beings. “But it can be a powerful
first
step on the road to recovery.”

The second effect is less tangible and more controversial. In many users,
ibogaine induces hours of staggering hallucinations while the patient
appears to
be sleeping. Many ibogaine users say they gained profound insights from
this
experience, which helps them to understand why they became addicts.

Greg Douglass, a former guitarist with the Steve Miller Band, credits a
session last year at the Ibogaine Association with helping him to kick
methadone.
Douglass had visions of himself as a terrified child, of his still-living
father in a coffin, of fantastic animals tearing each other apart in a red

sea.
Over the next several weeks, he says, he gradually came to understand some

of the
messages encoded in the visions.

“I’d be tying my shoes and suddenly have a little epiphany—’Aha, that’s
what
that meant.’ ” The visions, he says, “showed me the potential for myself
as a
human being.”

Beth Giuliano, a sturdy 25-year-old from New York, had been in and out of
rehab programs for years trying to kick heroin before she found her way to

the
Ibogaine Association in February. “I saw my mother holding an infant,” she

says,
describing her hallucinations. “I realized that was me. I felt the pain of
what it would be like to have a child who becomes a drug addict. I’d
always felt
guilty about my family, but I never really understood their pain until I
did
ibogaine.

“I woke up the next day seeing things a completely different way. I’d
never
felt so positive,” she says. “I felt like the person I was when I was
little or
like a whole new me.” She says she’s done heroin twice since her
treatment,
but didn’t enjoy it and has stayed clean for four months.

But there are plenty of people who discount the supposed wonder treatment.
For some, the visions are harrowing and the treatment is a failure. “It’s
like
acid times one million,” writes an anonymous naysayer on one of the many
web
sites devoted to ibogaine. “I saw God alright—I talked to him. And I was
so sure
it was real. But it wasn’t…. It was someone who [messed] with me and
scared
the [daylights] out of me.” This person’s account says that others who
took the
treatment at the same time saw themselves being crucified or raped. “It
didn’t work for me, and it didn’t work for anyone else that I personally
met who
took it,” the writer concludes.

Everyone agrees that ibogaine is no fun. It’s often emotionally
unsettling,
mentally exhausting and physically stressful. Its side effects can include
nausea, vomiting, loss of coordination and a potentially dangerous
reduction in
blood pressure and heart rate.

There have been several documented deaths in connection with the drug. But
because the ibogaine was not taken in a clinical setting, the cause of
death was
never firmly established. Some fatalities may have been caused by
preexisting
heart conditions made lethal by ibogaine’s effects. Mash is confident that
there are more that have gone unreported. “There are some pretty unethical
people” giving clandestine treatments, she says. “They just leave patients

for dead
in hotel rooms.”

“That’s why ibogaine needs to be legal and available in safe settings,”
Hencken says. “It needs to be in the hands of someone who can judge your
health,
your dosage and provide a safe environment.”

The Ibogaine Association requires clients to submit a medical history as
well
as undergo testing before treatment can begin. A doctor administers the
drug.
Still, the procedure seems remarkably casual.

From San Diego, Craig is brought to the association’s treatment facility,
a
rented house on a well-kept residential street near Tijuana. Only the
dining
room, which has been converted into a medication-equipped office, and the
oxygen
tanks under the stairs indicate that it is a medical establishment, of
sorts.

The doctor treating Craig is Francisco Cańez, a calm, round-faced man who
splits his time between the association and a hospital emergency room.
Craig sits
with his arms crossed, looking more than a tad nervous as Cańez reviews
his
file and calculates his ibogaine dosage. From a small jar, he shakes out
three
gelatin capsules filled with white powder and hands them to Craig.

Craig looks speculatively at the first pill, which he’ll take to make sure

he
doesn’t have an allergic reaction. “Well, I’ve put all kinds of things in
my
body,” he says, shrugging. Half an hour later, having evinced no untoward
initial responses, he swallows the other two pills.

Cańez then takes him into a bedroom, where sheets of Styrofoam cover the
windows and a CD softly plays rainforest sounds, and attaches him to a
heart
monitor next to the bed. The monitor’s graph flutters peacefully as the
ibogaine
gradually pulls Craig away. After a while, he just lies there silently,
engulfed
in a hallucinogenic hurricane.

After several hours, the visions gradually start to subside. Craig sits
up,
nauseated and dizzy. “That was a wild ride,” he mutters. Though he hasn’t
had a
painkiller in several days, he finds he doesn’t crave one now. He lies
down
again and drops back into his head for another hour. Finally, he revives
enough
to be moved to another house where he will spend the next day recovering.
He
totters out to the van with small, jittery steps.

Ibogaine’s addiction-fighting potential was discovered only recently, and
accidentally. It was sold as a stimulant in France during the middle
decades of
the last century, and an American psychologist and a psychiatrist dabbled
with
it in the 1950s and ’60s. So little was known about it that it could not
even
be considered a curiosity.

But in 1962, Howard Lotsof, a 19-year-old New York student with a heroin
habit and an appetite for other pharmacological kicks, scored some powder
that he
was told would give him a 36-hour trip. Lotsof and some of his junkie pals
experimented with it and, to their astonishment, found that it knocked out

their
heroin craving.

Mightily impressed, Lotsof tried to drum up street interest, and a little
cash for himself in the process. It never caught on in a big way, but it
did find
a place in counterculture lore—and got banned by the federal government in
1970. It was memorably cited by gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, who
speculated that “a bad ibogaine frenzy” was the likely explanation for
Democrat Ed
Muskie’s oddly emotional behavior in the 1972 presidential campaign.

Ibogaine’s legend grew as a constant trickle of adventurous addicts tried
it.
In the mid-’80s, Lotsof managed to patent ibogaine as an anti-addiction
palliative, and set up a company to try to bring it to market. An early
series of
treatments in the Netherlands looked promising, although there were a
couple of
ibogaine-related deaths elsewhere in Europe.

Lotsof continued his crusade. In the early ’90s, he and other activists
persuaded a federal agency to cough up several million dollars for
ibogaine
research. He recruited Mash and the two began working together. (They have

since
parted ways.) By 1993, Mash had won FDA approval to begin testing ibogaine

on
human subjects. But then one of Lotsof’s informal patients in the
Netherlands
died. In 1995, the National Institute on Drug Abuse decided not to proceed

to
clinical studies.

“Committee members were not all that impressed with its efficacy, but the
safety issue stopped them in their tracks,” says Frank Vocci, a federal
researcher who has followed ibogaine’s progress. “What you have are a lot
of
interesting, colorful anecdotes. But the plural of anecdotes is not
scientific data.”

A number of researchers around the country, however, have become
sufficiently
intrigued to continue experimenting with animals. Dozens of articles have
appeared in scientific journals, most of them reporting promising results
that
buttress the anecdotal evidence.

Mash is doing her own part to advance the cause. In 1996 she helped to
launch
an ibogaine clinic on the Caribbean island of St. Kitts. During the next
five
years, she gathered data on more than 300 patients who sought treatment
there—the largest body of serious clinical research on ibogaine ever
collected.

Mash presented her findings at a medical conference last fall in San
Francisco. Granted, her sample wasn’t representative of America’s drug
users: Most
were white men between 20 and 40 years old, the sort of addicts who can
afford to
spend several weeks and several thousand dollars detoxing in the
Caribbean.
Still, she declared that her research proves that ibogaine can be
administered
safely and does help break addictions. “We saw people with big methadone
habits lose their cravings after just a single dose of ibogaine,” she
says. “One
month later, both cocaine and opiate addicts reported cravings were
significantly lower. And at one year, drug use was significantly down
among testees.”

At this point, perhaps the major obstacle to Ibogaine’s mainstream
acceptance
is its scrofulous image. This isn’t a medicine developed by white-coated
scientists; its anti-addictive properties were discovered by a junkie, and

some of
its promoters are folks who may be of more interest to the attorney
general
than the surgeon general.

One of ibogaine’s most energetic boosters is Marc Emery, founder of a
Vancouver, Canada, clinic. Emery is a verbose, middle-aged man with bushy
hair and
corporate-casual clothes. You’d never guess that he heads the British
Columbia
Marijuana Party and is, by his reckoning, one of the world’s largest
sellers of
pot seeds. It is his personal mission to bring ibogaine to the masses,
because the drug helped his adopted son kick methadone and heroin. Until
this
spring, Emery offered free treatment in the Iboga Therapy House, a clinic
that
consists of a plush one-bedroom apartment in a Vancouver high-rise. With
his cash
flow crimped by business and legal troubles (he just spent two months in a
Saskatchewan jail for passing a joint at a gathering), he has stopped
funding the
clinic, putting its program on hold, but he remains supportive. “It was a
very
worthwhile investment,” he says. “The improvements I saw in our patients
were
significant and astonishing.”

Still, Emery’s enthusiasm is unlikely to change the minds of skeptics such

as
Dr. Herbert Kleber, head of the substance abuse division at Columbia
University’s school of medicine. “I’m in favor of anything that works, but

there needs
to be proof that it does, and that it doesn’t endanger patients,” he says.
“I’ve been in this field 35 years, and I’ve seen a lot of magic bullets.
They
often turn out to be worse than the disease.”

Getting that kind of proof requires controlled experiments on human
subjects,
which is what Mash is working toward. She has isolated a molecule called
noribogaine, which is produced in the body as it metabolizes ibogaine, and

which
she believes is the key agent that blocks drug cravings. She is trying to
get
FDA approval to start human testing. On a parallel track, Stanley Glick
has
synthesized a chemical cousin of ibogaine dubbed 18-MC, which he also
hopes to
market.

Both Mash and Glick think their ibogaine derivatives will give users the
drug-blocking effect without the hallucinations—something both believe is
necessary if the FDA is to approve their products.

But would eliminating ibogaine’s psychedelic side diminish its
effectiveness?
No one knows. “For me, the ideal would be for people to take ibogaine in a
controlled environment, and use the experience as part of their
psychotherapy,”
Mash says. “Then slap a noribogaine patch on them.”

Mash and Glick also face a more prosaic obstacle: money. Funding
comprehensive clinical trials for a new drug is colossally expensive, and
so far neither
has found anyone willing to pony up the full cost. In October, a Los
Angeles
philanthropist pledged to give Mash $250,000 to restart research at the
University of Miami, but that’s only a tiny fraction of what will
eventually be
necessary if ibogaine is ever to be brought to market.

“The pharmaceutical industry has never wanted much to do with addiction
medicine,” Glick says. “It’s not very profitable, and it’s bad public
relations.”

Though there are millions of people addicted to various substances in the
U.S., many of them don’t want, or can’t afford, treatment. Worse, from a
bottom-line standpoint, an ibogaine-based treatment drug would be used
only once—a
feeble investment for companies accustomed to cash-cow refillable
prescriptions.

Which leaves people like Craig knocking on doors of unregulated ibogaine
clinics in a desperate search for something that will help defeat their
addictions.

“All these clinics popping up all over the world—it’s become almost a
cult-like phenomenon,” Glick says. “All the hype and politics around
ibogaine just
make my job harder. It means the scientific establishment and regulatory
agencies take a dim view.”

But the ranks of the believers keep growing. Six months after his ibogaine
treatment, Craig says he’s staying clean and feeling great. “That stuff
worked
just like it was supposed to,” he says. “It was so much better than the
detox I
tried. I don’t understand why it’s not legal.”

*

Editor’s note:

In this article, the name of the patient seeking ibogaine treatment in
Tijuana has been changed to protect his privacy. However, the Los Angeles
Times
Magazine has verified his identity and the circumstances described in the
article.
If you want other stories on this topic, search the Archives at
latimes.com/archives.

Article licensing and reprint options

————————————————————————

Copyright 2004 Los Angeles Times

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…
Date: November 28, 2004 at 4:40:56 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Oh wow, that would be awesome!
Wee ways to go yet… but this has given me a boost, a well needed one. A piece of the puzzle perhaps?
Kirsty
I look forward to more contact :o)
From: ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com [mailto:ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com] 
Sent: Monday, 29 November 2004 5:14 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…

Kirsty,
            I’ve been and continue to go to different countries to train people to do sessions and treatments with ibogaine.  Usually if there are a few people interested in receiving the experience for various intentions, and a person or two who are interested in coordinating things and who want to be trained, it is very possible.  I’m interested in having the expenses covered i.e. the cost of the ibogaine and the traveling only.  If you e-mail me your number off list, if you prefer, i will call you. I would very much like to honor your vision.  I have very few prerequisites.  One is a person is clean from opiates, etc. for a few month period.  
            I hope you are in touch with me.
                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                     Franscesco

On Sun Nov 28 2:13 , ‘Capt Kirk’ <captkirk@free.net.nz> sent:
Oh WOW,. I just had a vision of a possible future for myself! There is nobody here in NZ, at least not that I have found…. Who has done Ibogaine, or provides any sort of support, backup, therapy etc. I have completed one year Naturopathy and am Reiki 3, so maybe, just maybe, I could be trained to be an Iboga support person?? All going well of course.
Thank you
I’ve been really lost lately, but this seems feasible to me.
Kirsty
From: ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com [mailto:ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com] 
Sent: Sunday, 28 November 2004 5:16 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…

Randy,
             Thank your for reply.  If you still feel as you do a few months from now, i would like you to receive training so you can continue the work in the area you like.
             My hope is in the next few years there will be treatments available in dozens of cities across your country with referal networks for transpersonal therapists, acupuncturists, and other practitioners of aftercare modalities located in all these areas.  There is a lot to do and i see the possibilities because there is a new, energised generation of ibogaine assistants coming onto the scene.  Any person who has become clean and remains so for several months has, as an option this service to perform.

                                                                                                                                 Franscesco   

On Tue Nov 23 6:51 , BiscuitBoy714@aol.com sent:
Frank, it has been my experience that the majority of old timers in AA don’t want hear about Ibogaine. The philosophy and the steps apply to any addiction so I go there to reinforce what I have already learned and accomplished. I am also an alcoholic so I am lucky enough to know first hand how much help is in the rooms. My sponsor is well aware of my situation and thinks Ibogaine is a great tool for recovery. He is rare. We have become pretty close over the years and he just wants me to be clean no matter what it takes. So my advice to anyone going to AA is to go to meetings and talk about your recovery just don’t try and win anyone over to Ibogaine. (YET) It is coming. I figure I will let the ones know who are addicts too after meetings and by just being clean and answering questions. I’ve already done this a few times. It is a little too much for some of the newly clean to handle sometimes so I watch and talk to the ones I think can handle it. I don’t know if I am qualified to do this or not but I will not stop until Ibogaine is available to those who need and want it. I feel like it is up to me to bring all of my efforts into a workable program. AA, therapist, the list and prayer are what I am going on now. The list is the most important part for me but that may change. All I know is I’m clean and I love it. You are forever in my heart and I will be indebted to you for your help the rest of my life. Thank you for your efforts in bringing Ibogaine out in the open in the US. As far as I know there is no one doing Ibogaine treatments in the KY,Tenn., West Virginia, southern Ohio area. They need help and I want to be there for them.     Randy
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From: <slowone@hush.ai>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah
Date: November 28, 2004 at 4:30:12 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 14:12:10 -0800 Hannah Clay
<hannah.clay@ntlworld.com> wrote:
On of the first things I’m gonna
concentrate on is walking my dog more and sleeping proper hours
(I’m nocturnal at the moment)

That sounds good – plus nourishing your body and spirit, working
from the inside out to build strength. One day at a time – such a
cliche but so true, it’s life itself.

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
secure FREE email: http://www.hushmail.com/?l=2

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From: <slowone@hush.ai>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 28, 2004 at 4:28:19 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

On Sun, 28 Nov 2004 05:38:59 -0800 Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
wrote:
It sounds as though (from what you write) ayahuasca by its nature
is more rewarding in the group experience?

For me it has been.

Yet I would not make
the same observation about eboga – perhaps at a certain stage it
could be something to explore – as the experience tends to be
highly personal – for the most part.

My solo eboga experiences have been mixed. Immediate issues such as
obsessive blocked anger have been resolved nicely, and sometimes I
have gotten insights into deeper problems, but it seems that eboga
in sufficient dose ultimately draws me to a trauma which I cannot
handle. Maybe someday.. meanwhile I can work on building a better
me. A mere taste on the tongue before therapy is my main use at
this point.

I certainly agree that any experience has its own optimum set &
setting.

For ibogaine I believe that could be a group of caring and
compassionate people who would welcome the person into the world
and compensate for all the pain and neglect that may have been
suffered at the hands of others. The baby physical helplessness of
the ibogaine experience is a wonderful opportunity to learn to
depend on others, for those of us who have been Gollum-ized by this
world.

Economics dictate that this would either be a church or a group
treatment and therapy setting.

In the meantime, the better integration with aftercare, the better.

I am curious what you mean by deep body learning?

Long tedious absorption of the vine, with little or none of the DMT
‘light’ to take the mind elsewhere, followed by some weeks of
feeling more grounded and having insights comparable to post-eboga.
Possibly it could be like noribogaine if one could take that
directly.

What do you see as its (ayahuasca) ongoing benefits?

Briefly, strength and love, if used for that purpose.

If you read the literature, and the experience reports on erowid
and elsewhere, you will find that the cultures and personal
experiences are all over the map.

Are you located in Holland?

No.

Hope I am not bombarding you with too many questions. Its an area
I no little about but am curious to understand better. What I have

read has not really enlightened me much.

From my reading, ibogaine and secondarily ayahuasca stood out as
entheogens that lead to deep learning about oneself that can lead
to real personal change. In both cases personal experience has been
surprising and humbling.

slowone@hush.ai wrote:
On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 04:15:16 -0800 Lee Albert
wrote:
Similarly I am not a great fan of DMT from what I have read as I
think its a shortcut to spiritual dimensions best reserved for
those whose souls have been prepared for the experience.
Otherwise

the combination of ones own inner demons coupled with the doors
which are been opened can lead to serious problems afterwards
imo.

In my experience, the container is all-important. So far the best
one for me is group singing in a church setting, which is what I
started with. The first time I did my own homebrew, the message
was, “why are you doing this alone, your path is to connect with
people,” and the church has been my satisfaction and growth ever
since. (I also learn in free-form group singing without the
religious or entheogenic aspects.) Plus with ayahuasca there is
the
vine, which on its own can take one on a slow unhallucinogenic
path
of deep body learning. It is all work, the hardest and deepest
that
one is capable of, no shortcuts I thoroughly agree.

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From: Sapphirestardus@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 28, 2004 at 2:58:35 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

To the bitch who calls herself Paula. Don’t ever speak for anyone but yourself when responding to a letter. Some of us, maybe many not only love Burroughs but also I don’t think Preston was in a “bad” place and I also in the same place and am quite pleased.  Preston, you are only human and sometimes it is difficult to ignore things people say but Paula is exaclty one of the type people Burroughs was referring to so try and ignore her and enjoy this time as you can.

Regards

Julian

From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Amazing Grace ebook Free Download to list members
Date: November 28, 2004 at 12:36:53 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thanks Howard,
I opened it in PDF and yes could save it using the disk icon.
You learn something new every day.

HSLotsof@aol.com wrote:

In a message dated 11/28/04 10:07:31 AM, myeboga@yahoo.co.uk writes:

>I will leave the link active for the next 7 days. After that, anyone on
>the list who wishes to download, please email me off list and I will see
>to it you get a copy.

>Remember: RIGHT CLICK with the MOUSE button on the link below and SAVE
>to a folder. If you click directly it will open in PDF but you won’t be
>able to save a copy of the PDF as Explorer doesn’t allow it – Opera does.

>http://www.my-eboga.com/AmazingGrace-ebook.pdf

Hi Lee,

My version of explorer allows me to save the pdf. I just go to the toolbar
at the top of the window and click on the icon of a disk and that is a save as
command.

Howard

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Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Win a castle for NYE with your mates and Yahoo! Messenger

From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Treatment Report
Date: November 28, 2004 at 12:06:39 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear Fakeplacebo,

Congratulation!  God bless you!
it could be good for you to take a Turkish bath and drink a lot of water 2xweek.

All the best,

Sara

Van: FakePlacebo [mailto:fakeplacebo@hotmail.com] 
Verzonden: zondag 28 november 2004 14:54
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] Treatment Report

Dear Randy,

I priciate for your valuable advices.Here in Turkey there is no good threapist who is specialist about drug dependency. They are very ignorant about this kind of problems. I tried to go to therapist but it did not worked. I think I can help myself better than others can.

This mailing list and friends from Iboga list are best for me. for example; you, Mr. Howard, Sara, Julie. Believe me your Iboga treatment is couraged and motivated me.

Thank You
Your Friend
FakePLacebo

—- Original Message —–
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Sunday, November 28, 2004 3:30 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Treatment Report

M, I am loving this. I was very glad to see that you had Sara’s help. See, the most loving and beautiful people in the world are out to help mankind no matter the cost. Sleep comes. I think you are doing great. Keep it up. Are you planning on getting a therapist? Some kind of aftercare is very important. It sure helps me.          Randy

From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 28, 2004 at 12:03:35 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/28/04 11:36:20 AM, rwd3@cox.net writes:

LIST:

trying to find a definitive answer as i am getting wires crossed.  does
ibo work on benzo w/d/? been thru everything else, now this stuff.  i’m
suffering, the traditional rehab will kill me, i can’t move to the uk.
please help?  many thanks, ron

Ron you are not getting a definitive answer because there is not a difinitive
answer yet.  Some providers say no.  Some providers say yes and some
providers say maybe.  Welcome to the world of experimental medicine/shamanism.

The answer at this time is yes in some patients when administered by some
providers.  Too bad Sara and Schmoolyboy are not working together.  Then you
could have the best of both worlds.

Howard

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 28, 2004 at 12:01:18 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi from Jasen, he has no energy to write , but he likes to thanks everyone for being so kind and thinking of him.

Sara

Van: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com] 
Verzonden: zaterdag 27 november 2004 16:29
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Jasen, If I had the cash I’d be right there with you. Someday soon. What have you got planned when you get back down under? I’d sure like to see Australia sometime. You being bored is a good sign. Life awaits you my friend. Kick it’s …. you know what I mean. Be ready, cause I found it hard sometimes because people I knew didn’t know how to take the clean and positive Randy. It is already better for me. The ones who matter think Ibogaine is a miracle. I’ve never gone this long without court pressure and the people who care about me are pretty much amazed. It takes a little while for them to get used to it. Remember, your the one who changed. Give them time to get used to it and don’t freak out like I did. You are most definitely the man now. Run with it. Peace and much love.     Randy

From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Amazing Grace ebook Free Download to list members
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:56:43 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/28/04 10:07:31 AM, myeboga@yahoo.co.uk writes:

I will leave the link active for the next 7 days. After that, anyone on
the list who wishes to download, please email me off list and I will see
to it you get a copy.

Remember: RIGHT CLICK with the MOUSE button on the link below and SAVE
to a folder. If you click directly it will open in PDF but you won’t be
able to save a copy of the PDF as Explorer doesn’t allow it – Opera does.

http://www.my-eboga.com/AmazingGrace-ebook.pdf

Hi Lee,

My version of explorer allows me to save the pdf.  I just go to the toolbar
at the top of the window and click on the icon of a disk and that is a save as
command.

Howard

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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\]=———————————————————————=[/

From: Paula <paulab@shaw.ca>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Wild Divine About the Game
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:52:02 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

biofeedback game, helps with lowering stress etc. Might help some of us lower the stress that comes….Paula

http://www.wilddivine.com/Game/
/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: Paula <paulab@shaw.ca>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Silent Symphony
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:49:50 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

make’s the atmosphere a little brighter thru the dreary days of winter…Paula

http://www.solar-world.com/silent.htm
/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: Paula <paulab@shaw.ca>
Subject: [Ibogaine] EFT Manual The Basic Steps to Your Emotional Freedom
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:48:16 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

nice pictoral, maybe a good place to start…Paula

http://www.mercola.com/forms/eftcourse.htm
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From: Paula <paulab@shaw.ca>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Self help for misdirected anger, aggression, and violence.
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:47:12 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

might be a procedure for helping after ibogaine good pictures of the procedure, some similarity to emdr…Paula

http://www.redirectingselftherapy.com/anger.html
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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:35:27 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

LIST:
trying to find a definitive answer as i am getting wires crossed.  does ibo work on benzo w/d/? been thru everything else, now this stuff.  i’m suffering, the traditional rehab will kill me, i can’t move to the uk. please help?  many thanks, ron
—– Original Message —– From: “D H” <dave@phantom.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 1:41 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Jasen,

maybe take the train to amsterdam and see the museums, have some dutch french fries (the best) or some pankoecken, appleflap, toasties and a  hot cup of tea. yum. then walk along the canals or rent a bike and  pedal around the city, if it’s not too cold.

_.dh

On Saturday, November 27, 2004, at 09:28 AM, <slowone@hush.ai> wrote:

You could try singing? Drawing? Explore those vibrations and see
what further healing and messages come when you take the active
role in place of eboga, carrying on your healing. Boredom may be
just the veil your habits are throwing over the next stage. Beware
of endings that amount to dissatisfaction. 🙂

On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 02:57:33 -0800 Sara Glatt <sara119@xs4all.nl>
wrote:
THANKS randy.
I AM SOOO BORED,CANYOU GUYS COME OVER.
You are right about aftercare,there is a lot of work to be done to

heal the
world.
I realised something being over the other side of the world,your
vibratioal
frequencies tune into
Different parts of the world depending on where you are born,which

port hole
on earth through your mothers womb,life without end,..a spiral,no
beginning
and no end
So when you live away from where you were born,it can feel as if
everything
is twice as hard.Like you are going against the grain..

IT MAY BE THE ONLY WAY HOWEVER IN CAN BE DONE IN A MUCH BIGGER AND
BETTERWAY,IF GREED MOVED OVER A TRIFLE.
Sara’S is very affordable. Just fuc ing boring. SORRY sara,I do
love you and
you are a princess,the bwiti princess,her vibes hide her princess
appearances as others see her,but I KNOW BECAUSE I saw,SARA IS THE

bwiti
PRINCESS.

Eboga must be taken naturally,to be effective on every plain,to
work on
every frequency the body neads to heal.WE ARE 4 DIMENSIOAL BEINGS
and need
healing on all freqences. Science and Natural medicine must work
together.
Love you all Jasen.
_____

Van: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com]
Verzonden: maandag 22 november 2004 12:32
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Jasen you freakin’  ROCKKK. See. It’s the only way, huh. Tell us
more when
you can. How long are you going to be there? I’d stay as long as I

could if
I were you. Everybody was right about aftercare. It sure makes me
feel
better about everything.     Randy

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
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From: ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…
Date: November 28, 2004 at 11:14:11 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Kirsty,
I’ve been and continue to go to different countries to train people to do sessions and treatments with ibogaine.  Usually if there are a few people interested in receiving the experience for various intentions, and a person or two who are interested in coordinating things and who want to be trained, it is very possible.  I’m interested in having the expenses covered i.e. the cost of the ibogaine and the traveling only.  If you e-mail me your number off list, if you prefer, i will call you. I would very much like to honor your vision.  I have very few prerequisites.  One is a person is clean from opiates, etc. for a few month period.
I hope you are in touch with me.

Franscesco

On Sun Nov 28 2:13 , ‘Capt Kirk’ <captkirk@free.net.nz> sent:

Oh WOW,. I just had a vision of a possible future for myself! There is nobody here in NZ, at least not that I have found…. Who has done Ibogaine, or provides any sort of support, backup, therapy etc. I have completed one year Naturopathy and am Reiki 3, so maybe, just maybe, I could be trained to be an Iboga support person?? All going well of course.
Thank you
I’ve been really lost lately, but this seems feasible to me.
Kirsty
From: ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com [mailto:ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com] 
Sent: Sunday, 28 November 2004 5:16 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…

Randy,
             Thank your for reply.  If you still feel as you do a few months from now, i would like you to receive training so you can continue the work in the area you like.
             My hope is in the next few years there will be treatments available in dozens of cities across your country with referal networks for transpersonal therapists, acupuncturists, and other practitioners of aftercare modalities located in all these areas.  There is a lot to do and i see the possibilities because there is a new, energised generation of ibogaine assistants coming onto the scene.  Any person who has become clean and remains so for several months has, as an option this service to perform.

                                                                                                                                 Franscesco   

On Tue Nov 23 6:51 , BiscuitBoy714@aol.com sent:
Frank, it has been my experience that the majority of old timers in AA don’t want hear about Ibogaine. The philosophy and the steps apply to any addiction so I go there to reinforce what I have already learned and accomplished. I am also an alcoholic so I am lucky enough to know first hand how much help is in the rooms. My sponsor is well aware of my situation and thinks Ibogaine is a great tool for recovery. He is rare. We have become pretty close over the years and he just wants me to be clean no matter what it takes. So my advice to anyone going to AA is to go to meetings and talk about your recovery just don’t try and win anyone over to Ibogaine. (YET) It is coming. I figure I will let the ones know who are addicts too after meetings and by just being clean and answering questions. I’ve already done this a few times. It is a little too much for some of the newly clean to handle sometimes so I watch and talk to the ones I think can handle it. I don’t know if I am qualified to do this or not but I will not stop until Ibogaine is available to those who need and want it. I feel like it is up to me to bring all of my efforts into a workable program. AA, therapist, the list and prayer are what I am going on now. The list is the most important part for me but that may change. All I know is I’m clean and I love it. You are forever in my heart and I will be indebted to you for your help the rest of my life. Thank you for your efforts in bringing Ibogaine out in the open in the US. As far as I know there is no one doing Ibogaine treatments in the KY,Tenn., West Virginia, southern Ohio area. They need help and I want to be there for them.     Randy

Msg sent via @Mail v4 – http://atmail.com/ /]=———————————————————————=[\ [%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%] \]=———————————————————————=[/
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From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Amazing Grace ebook Free Download to list members
Date: November 28, 2004 at 10:05:53 AM EST
To: Ibogaine List <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear List,

I know I am very late in saying this but Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Its a very special day for many on the list (regardless of its political origins) and I hope that many of you enjoyed it surrounded by your loved ones.

So, as a very late Thanksgiving Day gift I want to make available to anyone on the list who is interested, a digital copy of the book Amazing Grace, which has just recently been publish. It is an eclectic piece of work. So I am sure there will be something in it to interest everyone.

I will leave the link active for the next 7 days. After that, anyone on the list who wishes to download, please email me off list and I will see to it you get a copy.

Remember: RIGHT CLICK with the MOUSE button on the link below and SAVE to a folder. If you click directly it will open in PDF but you won’t be able to save a copy of the PDF as Explorer doesn’t allow it – Opera does.

http://www.my-eboga.com/AmazingGrace-ebook.pdf

Hasta la Proxima,

Lee

http://www.my-eboga.com

Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

ALL-NEW Yahoo! Messenger – all new features – even more fun!

From: “FakePlacebo” <fakeplacebo@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Treatment Report
Date: November 28, 2004 at 8:54:28 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear Randy,

I priciate for your valuable advices.Here in Turkey there is no good threapist who is specialist about drug dependency. They are very ignorant about this kind of problems. I tried to go to therapist but it did not worked. I think I can help myself better than others can.

This mailing list and friends from Iboga list are best for me. for example; you, Mr. Howard, Sara, Julie. Believe me your Iboga treatment is couraged and motivated me.

Thank You
Your Friend
FakePLacebo

—- Original Message —–
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Sunday, November 28, 2004 3:30 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Treatment Report

M, I am loving this. I was very glad to see that you had Sara’s help. See, the most loving and beautiful people in the world are out to help mankind no matter the cost. Sleep comes. I think you are doing great. Keep it up. Are you planning on getting a therapist? Some kind of aftercare is very important. It sure helps me.          Randy

From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 28, 2004 at 8:38:59 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

It sounds as though (from what you write) ayahuasca by its nature is more rewarding in the group experience? Yet I would not make the same observation about eboga – perhaps at a certain stage it could be something to explore – as the experience tends to be highly personal – for the most part.
I certainly agree that any experience has its own optimum set & setting.
I am curious what you mean by deep body learning?
What do you see as its (ayahuasca) ongoing benefits?
Are you located in Holland?
Hope I am not bombarding you with too many questions. Its an area I no little about but am curious to understand better. What I have read has not really enlightened me much.

slowone@hush.ai wrote:
On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 04:15:16 -0800 Lee Albert
wrote:
>Similarly I am not a great fan of DMT from what I have read as I
>think its a shortcut to spiritual dimensions best reserved for
>those whose souls have been prepared for the experience. Otherwise

>the combination of ones own inner demons coupled with the doors
>which are been opened can lead to serious problems afterwards imo.

In my experience, the container is all-important. So far the best
one for me is group singing in a church setting, which is what I
started with. The first time I did my own homebrew, the message
was, “why are you doing this alone, your path is to connect with
people,” and the church has been my satisfaction and growth ever
since. (I also learn in free-form group singing without the
religious or entheogenic aspects.) Plus with ayahuasca there is the
vine, which on its own can take one on a slow unhallucinogenic path
of deep body learning. It is all work, the hardest and deepest that
one is capable of, no shortcuts I thoroughly agree.

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
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Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Moving house? Beach bar in Thailand? New Wardrobe? Win £10k with Yahoo! Mail to make your dream a reality.

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Treatment Report
Date: November 28, 2004 at 8:30:20 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

M, I am loving this. I was very glad to see that you had Sara’s help. See, the most loving and beautiful people in the world are out to help mankind no matter the cost. Sleep comes. I think you are doing great. Keep it up. Are you planning on getting a therapist? Some kind of aftercare is very important. It sure helps me.          Randy

From: “FakePlacebo” <fakeplacebo@hotmail.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Treatment Report
Date: November 28, 2004 at 7:50:40 AM EST
To: “Summary” <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear list,

I started to treatment 14th of this month at the one of my friends house who is medical doctor. My care giver was good boy and he was very helpfull but my treatment started with the very bad things.

30 hours after my last took of oppiates I gone in totaly withdrawal; started rolling on the ground. I asked him to start Iboga treatment and finaly he gave me half grams of Ibogain (to see what is going on). After two hours later and after many discussions he gave me two grams more. I asked him the dose that I decided before (8 grams). four hours later I asked him to call Sara and after phone call he gave me 3 grams more. I said to him this is foolish. In the 12 hours time period I took totaly 10 grams of Iboga. (by the permission of Sara on the phone). I experienced no visualisation but also I never experienced withdrawal. During the first 12 hours of period I puked many times.

3 days later I could be availble for drink something or eat. I was so weak and I never sleep deep or more than 2-3 hours after Iboga treatment. 12 days after treatment I experienced some personality changes on me. After Iboga I go anger very quickly with anger I feel power ( dangerous one). I feel myself very sensetive for everything. For example light, sweet, cold weather etc..

In spite of first few day’s weakness for two days I feel so instigated and angry.

But I’m happy because first time I feel that I can realy quit oppiates.

Iboga is magic plant

Best Regards
FakePlacebo

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…
Date: November 28, 2004 at 7:50:35 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Franscesco, I feel like everything I have done up until now has been training for the rest of my life. I truly care about people and I want to give back to society what was given to me. The person who treated me was one of the most warm hearted and loving individuals I have ever met. I strive to emulate that. My compadre’s in KY are paying up to 100 dollars for an 80mg. oxycontin. They see no way out, no alternative. I’d like to change that. Maybe it is my AA indoctrination. It doesn’t really matter. All I know is I feel compelled to want to help and I will go to any length to do so. I think that it is up to us to do what the government is afraid to do. The right thing. I have never been one to conform to what the government dictates and I won’t start now. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement and for helping to bring Ibogaine out in the open where it belongs. I’m proud of where I come from. There are some really good people down there. I, like most people in the South, am loyal to the end. You lead and I will follow until we don’t have to be underground anymore. I’d like to see Ibogaine offered in every methadone clinic in America. It should be an option sanctioned by the government and the Dr.’s responsible for all those methadone prescriptions should be versed on Ibogaine and it’s effects. It is the only way out of insane addictions for most of us. Peace and love to you and yours.       Randy

From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…
Date: November 28, 2004 at 2:13:45 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Oh WOW,. I just had a vision of a possible future for myself! There is nobody here in NZ, at least not that I have found…. Who has done Ibogaine, or provides any sort of support, backup, therapy etc. I have completed one year Naturopathy and am Reiki 3, so maybe, just maybe, I could be trained to be an Iboga support person?? All going well of course.
Thank you
I’ve been really lost lately, but this seems feasible to me.
Kirsty
From: ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com [mailto:ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com] 
Sent: Sunday, 28 November 2004 5:16 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…

Randy,
             Thank your for reply.  If you still feel as you do a few months from now, i would like you to receive training so you can continue the work in the area you like.
             My hope is in the next few years there will be treatments available in dozens of cities across your country with referal networks for transpersonal therapists, acupuncturists, and other practitioners of aftercare modalities located in all these areas.  There is a lot to do and i see the possibilities because there is a new, energised generation of ibogaine assistants coming onto the scene.  Any person who has become clean and remains so for several months has, as an option this service to perform.

                                                                                                                                 Franscesco   

On Tue Nov 23 6:51 , BiscuitBoy714@aol.com sent:
Frank, it has been my experience that the majority of old timers in AA don’t want hear about Ibogaine. The philosophy and the steps apply to any addiction so I go there to reinforce what I have already learned and accomplished. I am also an alcoholic so I am lucky enough to know first hand how much help is in the rooms. My sponsor is well aware of my situation and thinks Ibogaine is a great tool for recovery. He is rare. We have become pretty close over the years and he just wants me to be clean no matter what it takes. So my advice to anyone going to AA is to go to meetings and talk about your recovery just don’t try and win anyone over to Ibogaine. (YET) It is coming. I figure I will let the ones know who are addicts too after meetings and by just being clean and answering questions. I’ve already done this a few times. It is a little too much for some of the newly clean to handle sometimes so I watch and talk to the ones I think can handle it. I don’t know if I am qualified to do this or not but I will not stop until Ibogaine is available to those who need and want it. I feel like it is up to me to bring all of my efforts into a workable program. AA, therapist, the list and prayer are what I am going on now. The list is the most important part for me but that may change. All I know is I’m clean and I love it. You are forever in my heart and I will be indebted to you for your help the rest of my life. Thank you for your efforts in bringing Ibogaine out in the open in the US. As far as I know there is no one doing Ibogaine treatments in the KY,Tenn., West Virginia, southern Ohio area. They need help and I want to be there for them.     Randy

Msg sent via @Mail v4 – http://atmail.com/ /]=———————————————————————=[\ [%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%] \]=———————————————————————=[/
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From: “The Garden” <GardenRestaurant@comcast.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Theanine
Date: November 27, 2004 at 11:15:07 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Dr. Tom !!

I was reading about the effect of thea nine and I found  something about
Theanine to fight nicotine addiction . Could you share your experience with
this product in fighting addictions ?
Kindest regards
Francis

—– Original Message —–
From: <tomo7@starband.net>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Cc: “John Dore” <dorejj@aol.com>; <pacificozonecompany@yahoo.com>;
<sara119@xs4all.nl>; <tom@mapsltd.net>
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 6:34 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Frank’s call for aftercare suggestions

Frank

I look forward to whatever suggestions or links you acquire from this
community. Better results and greater success in beating addiction seems
to hinge on better use of and awareness of all of these tools.

Here is a links page on a drug rehab site that might provide a resource
for ibonauts and providers looking for better tools and results.

http://www.drugrehabcenter.com/natural-health1.html

Lately words have been exchanged as if we have differences between pro
drugs or anti-drugs, or pro some drug users or anti other drug users. I
enjoy these binary dualities like everyone. Intellectual shorthand is
handy. I get nostalgic for younger days when party drugs were so damn fun,
but that was when youthful adrenal glands could rise from the wreckage far
easier. I think most of us are pro-life and existence, anti-death and
anti-annihilation, although that set of colors was stolen by the abortion
or not crowd.

I encourage experienced users to please share the specifics of what works
and what doesn’t, here.  Please tend your reply subject-lines to help us
survey everyone’s content for the more time challenged participants. I
really appreciate the experienced professionals among us helping to keep
terminology and medical details accurate and understandable. The Goddess
has to be giving you points for the help.

For the delicate neurotransmitter balancing act of recovering from
pharmacological or recreational patterns of overuse, addiction or
habituation, I am getting more impressed over time with L-Theanine, as a
200mg. dose taken 2 or 3 times a day away from a protein meal(by an hour).
Google and read up on it. The benzo and SSRI promotional teams will be
jealous when more of you start to learn of it and teach others. I’ve had
clients not need a booster dose of Ibo after using this steadily for a few
weeks.

Cheers.

Dr. Tom

/]=———————————————————————=[\
[%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html
[%]

\]=———————————————————————=[/

/]=———————————————————————=[\
[%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%]
\]=———————————————————————=[/

From: ibogaine@ibogaineproject.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…
Date: November 27, 2004 at 11:16:12 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Randy,
Thank your for reply.  If you still feel as you do a few months from now, i would like you to receive training so you can continue the work in the area you like.
My hope is in the next few years there will be treatments available in dozens of cities across your country with referal networks for transpersonal therapists, acupuncturists, and other practitioners of aftercare modalities located in all these areas.  There is a lot to do and i see the possibilities because there is a new, energised generation of ibogaine assistants coming onto the scene.  Any person who has become clean and remains so for several months has, as an option this service to perform.

Franscesco

On Tue Nov 23 6:51 , BiscuitBoy714@aol.com sent:

Frank, it has been my experience that the majority of old timers in AA don’t want hear about Ibogaine. The philosophy and the steps apply to any addiction so I go there to reinforce what I have already learned and accomplished. I am also an alcoholic so I am lucky enough to know first hand how much help is in the rooms. My sponsor is well aware of my situation and thinks Ibogaine is a great tool for recovery. He is rare. We have become pretty close over the years and he just wants me to be clean no matter what it takes. So my advice to anyone going to AA is to go to meetings and talk about your recovery just don’t try and win anyone over to Ibogaine. (YET) It is coming. I figure I will let the ones know who are addicts too after meetings and by just being clean and answering questions. I’ve already done this a few times. It is a little too much for some of the newly clean to handle sometimes so I watch and talk to the ones I think can handle it. I don’t know if I am qualified to do this or not but I will not stop until Ibogaine is available to those who need and want it. I feel like it is up to me to bring all of my efforts into a workable program. AA, therapist, the list and prayer are what I am going on now. The list is the most important part for me but that may change. All I know is I’m clean and I love it. You are forever in my heart and I will be indebted to you for your help the rest of my life. Thank you for your efforts in bringing Ibogaine out in the open in the US. As far as I know there is no one doing Ibogaine treatments in the KY,Tenn., West Virginia, southern Ohio area. They need help and I want to be there for them.     Randy

Msg sent via @Mail v4 – http://atmail.com/ /]=———————————————————————=[\ [%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%] \]=———————————————————————=[/

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Frank’s call for aftercare suggestions
Date: November 27, 2004 at 10:22:35 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Cc: DOREJJ@aol.com, pacificozonecompany@yahoo.com, sara119@xs4all.nl, tom@mapsltd.net
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dr.Tom, what if someone takes L-Theanine before Ibogaine treatment? Anything on that? Is it important to keep a level before or after?       Randy

From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Well said Dr Tom
Date: November 27, 2004 at 8:38:00 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Well said, I agree totally,
With the parts to be agreed with !
I know what I mean lol
Kirk


Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.801 / Virus Database: 544 – Release Date: 11/24/2004

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: <tomo7@starband.net>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Frank’s call for aftercare suggestions
Date: November 27, 2004 at 6:34:22 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Cc: “John Dore” <dorejj@aol.com>, <pacificozonecompany@yahoo.com>, <sara119@xs4all.nl>, <tom@mapsltd.net>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Frank

I look forward to whatever suggestions or links you acquire from this
community. Better results and greater success in beating addiction seems
to hinge on better use of and awareness of all of these tools.

Here is a links page on a drug rehab site that might provide a resource
for ibonauts and providers looking for better tools and results.

http://www.drugrehabcenter.com/natural-health1.html

Lately words have been exchanged as if we have differences between pro
drugs or anti-drugs, or pro some drug users or anti other drug users. I
enjoy these binary dualities like everyone. Intellectual shorthand is
handy. I get nostalgic for younger days when party drugs were so damn fun,
but that was when youthful adrenal glands could rise from the wreckage far
easier. I think most of us are pro-life and existence, anti-death and
anti-annihilation, although that set of colors was stolen by the abortion
or not crowd.

I encourage experienced users to please share the specifics of what works
and what doesn’t, here.  Please tend your reply subject-lines to help us
survey everyone’s content for the more time challenged participants. I
really appreciate the experienced professionals among us helping to keep
terminology and medical details accurate and understandable. The Goddess
has to be giving you points for the help.

For the delicate neurotransmitter balancing act of recovering from
pharmacological or recreational patterns of overuse, addiction or
habituation, I am getting more impressed over time with L-Theanine, as a
200mg. dose taken 2 or 3 times a day away from a protein meal(by an hour).
Google and read up on it. The benzo and SSRI promotional teams will be
jealous when more of you start to learn of it and teach others. I’ve had
clients not need a booster dose of Ibo after using this steadily for a few
weeks.

Cheers.

Dr. Tom

/]=———————————————————————=[\
[%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%]
\]=———————————————————————=[/

From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Hannah
Date: November 27, 2004 at 6:33:19 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hannah,

I stopped going to raves when I was 22, largely
because I felt old, especially considering the average
age at a rave is 16-20.  I felt like a fucking
grandma…

Hannah, I went through the same thing at 23…let me
tell you something: YOU ARE NOT OLD!!!  I only wish I
would have realized that before writing off my life at
22/23.  Please enjoy those years, cuz once they’re
gone, they’re gone forever.

I just turned 27 this weekend, and I feel the effects
of aging already.  At 23, the only thing you should
feel is FABULOUS!!!

love Julie
BTW, heroin use really made me feel old and washed up.
My friends comment on how I look younger than I did
at 24- less stress, less hassle, outta the
game….it’s fucking brilliant.

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail – You care about security. So do we.
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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\]=———————————————————————=[/

From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah
Date: November 27, 2004 at 5:52:37 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thanks Preston, it’s good to know I’m not alone in this craziness. And yeh, I’m 23….but I feel really OLD.
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 4:01 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

> >Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in blood
> >crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I
> >remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.
> >My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and
> >old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
> >breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am
> >I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
> >and what I consider normal now.
> Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.<
>
> This is EXACTLY what I was writing about earlier, the notes like this one
> Hannah. I can totally and completely empathize and am really heartily
> wishing you well, sending you strength and courage. You are how old please,
> if you don’t mind my asking? I think you mentioned it just the other day
> (23?- because I remember responding to someone noting that age here and
> think it mighta been you) but I’m not sure. Regardless, as bad as it seems
> now, it can get worse, and it can definitely get better. I’m sure you know
> that, irregardless of how awful it can seem when sitting there trying to get
> a vein (oh my god, I can remember doing what you’ve described here, but not
> only in the privacy of someone’s apartment or squat but also, more often
> than not actually, doing this exact same vein hunt in stairwells, allyways,
> parkbenches, behind garbage cans, cafe bathrooms, diner tables, etc, etc. I
> mean, there were times I’d have a great vein, usually a teeny one that I’d
> managed to find just the right angle to hit it with, making shooting up in
> public, at diner tables as mentioned (one of my very favorite places to
> shoot up used to be in very public places like diners, right at the table,
> as that gave me that extra adrenaline boost. Of course, it was often an
> interesting experience in that when speedballing, I’d feel the cocaine
> first, so would be sitting there first witht that roaring in my ears, then
> bugs all over me while trying to figure out which person in the diner was
> NOT a cop.
>     Boy oh boy, what fun that was!
>
>
>
> Peace and love,
> Preston
>
> “Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
> mistaken for madness”
> Richard Davenport-Hines
>
> ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
> Editor http://www.drugwar.com
> Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
> Cont. High Times mag/.com
> Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
> Columnist New York Waste
> Etc.
>
>
> —– Original Message —–
> From: Hannah Clay
> To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
> Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 6:56 PM
> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
> Hannah
>
>
> I actually found a leaflet once at a rave that referred to people taking
> Prozac recreationally as a kind of weak MDMA (I’ll refer to it as X from now
> on).  Weird.  I’ve always found that ADs suppress the effects of X and I’ve
> been on a few.  Its a bummer.
>
> I love going to raves but since I’ve been into H (the past 5yrs) (and I’m
> 23) I hardly go out at all.  Sean said something about isolation, well I
> live as a complete hermit at the moment and the more I don’t see people, the
> more I don’t want to see them.  Luckily I live with my boyf and we’re
> putting my partner in crime up at the moment so I have to see them!
>
> Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!  I
> want to get going out again but I do find the come-downs hard without gear.
> I’m trying to get hold of some Valium just so I have something to just help
> me chill out.  I don’t like raves without X though cuz I don’t like the
> music without!  On X I love Techno.  I’m lucky cuz some of my friends are
> travellers and know lots of squatters down London and they always know where
> the best free parties are 🙂  I live in a little town where the clubs are
> all crap ‘towny’ straight places with cheesy music.
>
> The X powder is lovely cuz it isn’t speedy, just warm loveliness but it
> isn’t always great for partying cuz you just wanna sit down.  Then we mix it
> with speed (!).  When I first discovered X when I was 17 I thought it was
> the greatest thing in the world-I just couldn’t stop smiling.  But the pills
> just don’t do the same anymore-I don’t know if the pills are crap now or if
> you just get a tolerance real quick.  Then again, even when I’m fucked I’ll
> still claim I’m straight and need more-I’m just never satisfied.
>
> I just wish I’d never tried H and I’d be in a VERY different position now.
>
> Last night I did this mornings hit thinking I’d just score as soon as I woke
> up today.  Instead I slept all day so woke up really sick.  I call my dealer
> and nothing for a couple of hours so total panic.  Luckily a friend came
> over and sorted me out.  But my veins are non-existent so then it takes
> hours to get myself.  I thought I’d got it first time but hit my artery so
> my right hand swelled up and I was in agony.  Luckily a couple of friends
> were around to help but they tried for 2hrs and couldn’t get me-I felt like
> a pin cushion, in my hands, arms, neck, fingers, feet 🙁  I had to
> muscle-bang it in the end.  And since I’ve been doing rock and gear the past
> week I hadn’t showered or anything so was embarrassingly grubby.  My veins
> just wouldn’t give up any blood!  None of the women in my family can give
> blood cuz they can’t get blood out of us so I really chose the wrong
> profession!  Anyway so I’m sat there just thinking what have I done to
> myself?  Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in
> blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I
> remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.
> My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and
> old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and
> breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am I
> doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself
> and what I consider normal now.
>
> Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.  I’ve got to sort myself out.
> I just can’t believe I keep doing this to myself.  Why do we keep doing
> this?  I’ve hit rockbottom I really have.  And the last couple of yrs I had
> improved, I’d cut down and started socialising but the past couple of months
> I’ve been out of control.  I’ve been going in my fingers and when I had to
> go to A&E for my abscess the Doc told me I could easily lose my hands if I
> kept doing this. I can’t believe I know that and keep doing it!  Its like
> that definition of insanity, I am insane.
>
> But I’m gonna try (again) to be clean.  After I’ve just had one more hit….
>
> Love to everyone, you’re my inspiration.
> Hannah
>
> PS: Sorry Julie I’ve gone well off-topic!  Hopefully I’ll have far more
> partying tales in a few weeks and none of this shit. 🙂
>
> —– Original Message —–
> From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
> To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
> Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:37 PM
> Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
> Hannah
>
>
> > Hannah,
> >
> > you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
> > some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
> > Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
> > Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
> > notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
> > gay guys know how to party !!
> >
> > I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
> > interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
> > taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
> > by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
> > just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
> > answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
> > is!!
> >
> > I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
> > reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
> > think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
> > high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
> > refer to the last sentence of the previous
> > paragraph…
> >
> > love Julie 🙂
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > __________________________________
> > Do you Yahoo!?
> > The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
> > http://my.yahoo.com
> >
> >
> >
> > /]=———————————————————————=[\
> >  [%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html
> > [%]
> >
> > \]=———————————————————————=[/
> >
> >
> >
>
>
>   /]=———————————————————————=[\
>  [%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%]
>   \]=———————————————————————=[/
>
>
>

From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Hanna
Date: November 27, 2004 at 5:33:11 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey you moved me now Randy.  No I haven’t tried Ibogaine, I’ve never had any money and no one here knows or seems interested i it.  I like to go to Sara’s if I could afford it and come back and show everyone round here that there is hope.  Sure, write a song, I’d love to hear it, especially if its got a happy ending! 😉

Loads of love Hannah
—– Original Message —–
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 8:57 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Hanna

Hanna, I don’t know you but I read what you post and fantasize about being in England. I was reading what you said about trying to find a vein and it hurt me. Brought tears to my eyes. Your 23 and I’m 47 and I have to tell you that it doesn’t get any better. I first shot heroin on my 16th birthday and fell immediately in love with it. I have shot every drug I could find that I thought might remotely be like heroin and screwed my veins up in the process. I have to tell the nurses where to get blood or do it myself. Have you tried Ibogaine? I can’t remember if you said you have or not. Nothing else has stopped me for this long before. It changed my way of thinking. Your young and you sound like a beautiful person. Let me lay a little Nashville on ya. “Please don’t do the things I done”. “Don’t go out on another long run”. Can I write a song about you? I won’t use your name. I’m trying to complete a whole album of Ibogaine/recovery/addiction songs. I’ve almost got all the songs I need, but a story like yours has to told. I want it to have a happy ending. Please make it that way so I don’t have to feel bad every time I play it. You have moved me and inspired me to write.   Randy

From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_ Hannah
Date: November 27, 2004 at 5:14:15 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Sorry Martee-I clicked Change instead of Ignore when running through Spell Check and mis-spelt your name!
—– Original Message —–
From: m.finman
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 1:23 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_ Hannah

Hannah,
The shape you’re in right now has many many similiarities of where I was 4 months ago. The insanity of intellectually knowing you could be one shot from losing a limb or having a heart attack or checking out and still diving right in without so much as a glance back.  The morning after when I would do guilt and shame and regret over the damage I had physically done to my arms and hands as well as having to get up after 2 hours sleep to work a 10 hour day.  Also the guilt over all the money spent the night before and the complete waste of time and of a human life!  I would then go to work, have more cash and repeat the whole drama.  DRIVEN…..by something not of this world.  There were also some wedding pix I just got from my brothers wedding last June.  I was pretty much at my worse then.  First of all I am not even recognizable as the same person in the pix.  There was one picture of me sitting at a table in his backyard where I was in a nod.  It brought me back to remember that I stayed up all night shooting speedballs one after the other(as usual) and got only 2 hours (maybe) sleep before going to the airport at 6:00am with my mother.  I rationalized I would sleep on the plane.  The meet the other side of the family b-b-q was that same day at dinnertime.  I plan on blowing up that picture and putting it maybe on the wall inside my closet.  The rest of the pix at the wedding and reception (which were absolutely unique and soulful)  reminded me of how every second, minute, hour of that visit was socially,emotionally and physically gruelling for me. Having to wear long sleeves in 95 degree weather.  Having to go to my room for a nap when everyone else was at the pool.  Just in general feeling out of place and uncomfortable as a member of the human race.
As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, Someone was living this life for the last 20+ years but it doesn’t even remotely feel like it was me!!!
All I can say to you is Eboga, Eboga, Eboga. My heart goes out to you. I pray the universe intervenes for you as it did for me. You are 23, I can only imagine the possibilities.
I don’t know what subtex is, however I know H is the easiest to come off of or low doses of methedone.  Do what you feel you need to maintain some sanity today as I totally understand.  It’s what usually drives people to the programs to begin with.  What’s keeping you from doing a session?
I wish for you some clarity and a sense of purpose to inspire a course of action that is unencumbered by doubt, fear and an inacurate sense of self.
Call in your angels.  You never know,
Sincerely,
Martee
—– Original Message —–
From: Hannah Clay
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 6:56 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

I actually found a leaflet once at a rave that referred to people taking Prozac recreationally as a kind of weak MDMA (I’ll refer to it as X from now on).  Weird.  I’ve always found that ADs suppress the effects of X and I’ve been on a few.  Its a bummer.

I love going to raves but since I’ve been into H (the past 5yrs) (and I’m 23) I hardly go out at all.  Sean said something about isolation, well I live as a complete hermit at the moment and the more I don’t see people, the more I don’t want to see them.  Luckily I live with my boyf and we’re putting my partner in crime up at the moment so I have to see them!

Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!  I want to get going out again but I do find the come-downs hard without gear.  I’m trying to get hold of some Valium just so I have something to just help me chill out.  I don’t like raves without X though cuz I don’t like the music without!  On X I love Techno.  I’m lucky cuz some of my friends are travellers and know lots of squatters down London and they always know where the best free parties are 🙂  I live in a little town where the clubs are all crap ‘towny’ straight places with cheesy music.

The X powder is lovely cuz it isn’t speedy, just warm loveliness but it isn’t always great for partying cuz you just wanna sit down.  Then we mix it with speed (!).  When I first discovered X when I was 17 I thought it was the greatest thing in the world-I just couldn’t stop smiling.  But the pills just don’t do the same anymore-I don’t know if the pills are crap now or if you just get a tolerance real quick.  Then again, even when I’m fucked I’ll still claim I’m straight and need more-I’m just never satisfied.

I just wish I’d never tried H and I’d be in a VERY different position now.

Last night I did this mornings hit thinking I’d just score as soon as I woke up today.  Instead I slept all day so woke up really sick.  I call my dealer and nothing for a couple of hours so total panic.  Luckily a friend came over and sorted me out.  But my veins are non-existent so then it takes hours to get myself.  I thought I’d got it first time but hit my artery so my right hand swelled up and I was in agony.  Luckily a couple of friends were around to help but they tried for 2hrs and couldn’t get me-I felt like a pin cushion, in my hands, arms, neck, fingers, feet 🙁  I had to muscle-bang it in the end.  And since I’ve been doing rock and gear the past week I hadn’t showered or anything so was embarrassingly grubby.  My veins just wouldn’t give up any blood!  None of the women in my family can give blood cuz they can’t get blood out of us so I really chose the wrong profession!  Anyway so I’m sat there just thinking what have I done to myself?  Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.  My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself and what I consider normal now.

Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.  I’ve got to sort myself out.  I just can’t believe I keep doing this to myself.  Why do we keep doing this?  I’ve hit rockbottom I really have.  And the last couple of yrs I had improved, I’d cut down and started socialising but the past couple of months I’ve been out of control.  I’ve been going in my fingers and when I had to go to A&E for my abscess the Doc told me I could easily lose my hands if I kept doing this. I can’t believe I know that and keep doing it!  Its like that definition of insanity, I am insane.

But I’m gonna try (again) to be clean.  After I’ve just had one more hit….

Love to everyone, you’re my inspiration.
Hannah

PS: Sorry Julie I’ve gone well off-topic!  Hopefully I’ll have far more partying tales in a few weeks and none of this shit. 🙂

—– Original Message —–
From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:37 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

> Hannah,
>
> you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
> some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
> Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
> Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
> notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
> gay guys know how to party !!
>
> I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
> interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
> taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
> by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
> just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
> answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
> is!!
>
> I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
> reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
> think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
> high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
> refer to the last sentence of the previous
> paragraph…
>
> love Julie 🙂
>
>
>
>
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
> http://my.yahoo.com
>
>
>   /]=———————————————————————=[\
>  [%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%]
>   \]=———————————————————————=[/
>
>
>

From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah
Date: November 27, 2004 at 5:12:10 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thanks so much Callie for the support.  I seem to be doing this every week at the moment and its really hard not to just give up giving up.  I didn’t even manage to start today.  My boyf went out for a drink last night straight after work and said he wouldn’t be that late and although I wanted to see him I didn’t want to seem like an awful person to his workmates.  Anyway he doesn’t come home.  I call someone I know was out with him to see if he’s with him but he’d left Paul in the pub 3 hours ago.  No one else answers their phones and Paul’s is switched off.  So like an idiot I’m worrying just cuz he had to walk home through town (our tiny town!;-)).  My friend’s telling me not to worry, he can look after himself.  I ended up sitting up all night caning my gear and begging my dealer to serve me really early.  I know Paul gets really drunk and I worry that I’m being silly for worrying.  His mate who was with him that night calls to wake him up for work and I try to say coolly that Paul didn’t come home.  So he rings off and 20min later I get a call from confused, still drunk Paul saying he fell asleep on the sofa of this girl we know (I note to myself that she’s very very beautiful and always looks gorgeous where as I have only got dressed when I’ve had to score for the past couple (or is few?) weeks.  He’s been helping her cuz she’s a single mum doing odd-jobs.  God that sounds dodgy but then on the other hand my boyf is the most sweet, forgiving, amazing man and I trust him when he says nothing happened….I hope I’m right, I wouldn’t blame him for leaving me the state I’ve let myself get in.  Thanks so much for your response Marti-I’m so disgusted with myself and its good to know both that I’m not the only person that did this to themselves and that it comes from someone I really admire and like!

We (my ‘houseguest’ and I) had our last hit early evening so let’s see how far we get this time.  No, I am trying to make this time different.  I’ve admitted to my clinic that I’m having problems again and I see my Doc Thursday.  The want to up my dose-they seem to put people on huge amounts here-36mg is common and then they just leave you on it cuz they don’t think its addictive (they will obviously use a taper if you want to (and can convince them to) stop using it.  I wish they’d just give me a few Valium so I felt I had something I could take and I could feel it calming me down.  I get very tense and panicky when I’m coming off and Valium has helped when I’ve managed to get hold of it.  Anyway, I just wanted to kind of announce my detox to the list so I had some witnesses and it kind of helped make it seem real.  I figure if I try really hard I’ll be starting to feel better by my Birthday (24th Dec) and Christmas and all the associated parties!  I’ve got to give my body chance to heal.  There’s so many other drugs at these parties will be hard cuz I love the nights we have but the days after are such hell-y’know ‘when the lows outweigh the highs’.

Anyway, so I said it.  On of the first things I’m gonna concentrate on is walking my dog more and sleeping proper hours (I’m nocturnal at the moment)  I hope my boyf still loves me.  He’s put up with so much I wouldn’t blame him for loosing faith in me.  He’s the only one who thinks I can do it but even he’s seemed tired of it all recently.  We argue now where he used to hold me and we’d talk about it.

Right so tomorrow is Day 1-great start! 😉
Thanks Callie and Martee, it meant alot.
Love Hannah

—– Original Message —–
From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 6:09 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

In a message dated 11/26/2004 5:53:05 PM Central Standard Time, hannah.clay@ntlworld.com writes:
Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!

Good luck to you Hannah and I will say a little prayer for you and add you to my mental prayer list.
Keep reminding yourself that you may have to deal with a little discomfort, physical and mental. I just hate mental discomfort! lol! Guess all of us opiate addicts hate it or we wouldn’t be addicted.
I have never tried Subutex. I am a Methadone Maintenance lifer I guess. I have finally decided that it is okay to be a lifer as long as it does not start being a problem.
Anyway…..back to you. I really hope you the best! If I were you I would start walking for exercise tomorrow too. Make it part of your Subutex treatment. Walking helps me a LOT! It is the only ‘exercise’ I do but it is very helpful with my depressions and lack of energy.
Keep us posted. This list is great support. Some awesome folk that reply!
Peace and Starry nights,
Callie

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 27, 2004 at 4:33:09 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

you’re an unseen friend, i’m tooo afraid to be angry. getting conflicting info on ibo and benzos. peace to you brother, i have a lot on my plate right now and none is good. please write off list if possible as i c/n keep up with everyone.  it appears cliquish, although i know it’s not.many thanks for your concern. ron
—– Original Message —–
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 3:16 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Ron, listen to Eric. I know for a fact he is way versed on this. He made me feel a lot better before I did the Ibogaine and he was dead on with his information. Just about every major person in the Ibogaine world is talking to you. Listen to them. They got me the recovery that I have. It won’t be easy but you can do it. Ibogaine providers really care about people. Their souls included and I think all of the other modes of rehab forget about that. Except for 12 step programs which I highly recommend post Ibogaine. Just don’t talk about Ibogaine to a room full of old timer alcoholics. Although I think Bill W. would have loved this. It seems like it is almost time to make a move. I’m here for ya, drop me a line if I pissed you off. I really didn’t mean to.                   Randy

From: “Ann B. Mullikin” <think@francomm.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks
Date: November 27, 2004 at 3:48:12 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thank you very much for taking the time and trouble to put this up!!!!

ann
think@francomm.com

—– Original Message —– From: <HSLotsof@aol.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 2004 2:01 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks

————————————————————————
http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-ibogaine48nov28,0,
775349.story?coll=la-home-magazine

The Magical Mystery Tour

Drug and alcohol addicts are going abroad in search of the purported miracle
treatment called ibogaine. But will the drug industry embrace a substance that
causes a hallucinatory high?
By Vince Beiser
Special to The Times

November 28, 2004
The hallucinations are coming fast and vivid. Faces, shapes, colors rush
toward him, melting and swirling into each other, sometimes coalescing into more
concrete visions. He sees himself floating underwater. By turns, his four
children drift by. Sometimes they blow bubbles and float happily up to the surface;
sometimes they sink straight down, disappearing into darkness. Then there are
three ships, coming in to dock at three tubes; he knows, somehow, that they
are building a bomb, and if all three dock successfully it will explode. He
tries to direct them away, but can’t. The final ship enters the final tube. A
titanic explosion collapses everything into darkness.

Then it all starts again.

While Craig’s mind reels through this visual cacophony, his body lies quietly
in a darkened room in a house near Tijuana, deep in the grip of a powerful
psychedelic drug. His wife, his children and his upper-middle-class home in Salt
Lake City are all far, far away.

Craig is not some crystal-collecting spiritual seeker on a Carlos Castañeda
trip. He is a prosperous, respected restaurant owner, age 50. He is friendly
with the mayor and active in mainstream charities. Other than family vacations
to the Bahamas and Mazatlan, Mexico, this is the only time he has been outside
of the United States.

Craig is here because he is desperate. He is addicted to
painkillers—OxyContin, Lortab and other illegally obtained prescription opiates. His habit is
costing him $1,500 a month, and he knows he must stop. Conventional detox programs
have failed to help, so he has slipped over the border to try a treatment
that is as much an urban myth as a scientifically proven medication—and is as
illegal as heroin in the United States.

The treatment is a dose of a powerful hallucinogen called ibogaine. It is
derived from the roots of a shrub called Tabernanthe iboga that grows in Africa.
Local tribespeople have used it as a peyote-like sacrament for generations.
Since the 1960s, it has circulated on the margins of Western drug culture,
sustained by its reputation as a potent healer. A single daylong trip on ibogaine,
lore has it, can help break an addiction to heroin, cocaine, alcohol or even
cigarettes.

Other hallucinogens such as Ecstasy have purported to be helpful in treating
addiction, but interest in ibogaine seems to be approaching critical mass. The
increasing number of anecdotal success stories has attracted the attention of
researchers. Although there is no rock-solid proof, scientific consensus is
growing that this drug may indeed possess potent addiction-thwarting properties.

Regardless of what science says, faith is flourishing. A devoted community
has grown up around ibogaine—a motley congregation of former junkies,
envelope-pushing academics and drug-reform zealots helping to spread awareness and use
of the drug. There reportedly are at least two underground activists in the
U.S. who will provide it to seekers illegally. But taking ibogaine doesn’t have
to involve breaking laws, because it’s legal in many countries. As a result,
clinics are popping up from the Caribbean to Pakistan, offering ibogaine
treatment for a few thousand dollars to well over $10,000.

The clinic near Tijuana is, relatively speaking, among the most reputable. It
was opened in 2001 by Martin Polanco, a Mexican doctor who was impressed with
how ibogaine—obtained at an underground U.S. clinic—had helped one of his
relatives beat cocaine addiction. Polanco’s facility, known as the Ibogaine
Association, has administered more than 350 treatments and currently has 10 to 15
new patients a month, says program director Randy Hencken.

Hencken, a gangly 28-year-old with curly hair and little studs in each ear,
was one of Polanco’s first patients. He had dropped out of college at 21 to
devote himself to cocaine and, eventually, heroin. Over the years, he tried
everything from 12-step programs to methadone to get clean, but nothing worked. He
discovered ibogaine on the Internet, made his way to Polanco’s facility, and
returned with his addiction broken. He has since embraced the cause with a
convert’s zeal, taking a job as the association’s main organizer.

On the summer day Craig is to begin his ibogaine experience, Hencken is
padding around a San Diego apartment that doubles as the association’s U.S. office.
The place fits naturally in the beachside slacker-student-surfer
neighborhood. The front room is furnished with worn couches and a computer emblazoned with
a Jane’s Addiction sticker. A bike and surfboards hang on hooks in the
kitchen.

Hencken, dressed in a black T-shirt and pants, hops into an unmarked van and
drives to a dingy airport motel. Waiting in the parking lot is Craig, a trim,
compact man wearing loafers, khakis and a Nike T-shirt.

“I’ve got to admit this is a little weird,” says Craig, who flew in from Salt
Lake the night before. “I feel like we’re doing a drug deal.” Which, in a
sense, they are. Craig gets in the van and they roll south.

Craig is highly motivated to undertake this bizarre journey. He was an
alcoholic for years, with the smashed cars and nights in jail to show for it. He
quit drinking 16 years ago and has stayed sober. But a few years ago he was
prescribed painkillers for a knee injury and discovered that he liked them. He
began downing fistfuls of pills daily, scoring them from one of his employees. “At
first it was recreational,” he recalls. “But then you find yourself doing
them just to get from point A to B and you know it’s a problem.”

Last year, he checked himself into a rehab center and went cold turkey. “It
was horrible,” he says. “You hurt from your bones in. I couldn’t sleep. I cried
like a baby. I’d take hot baths all day and eat ibuprofen like candy.” He
stayed clean for six weeks and then fell off the wagon.

“I can’t stop myself. But I know I can’t go down that road again like I did
with alcohol,” he says. “But when you’re on opiates, it really hurts to stop.”
So when his dealer, who had been scouring the Internet for unconventional ways
to kick drugs, told Craig about the Ibogaine Association, he decided he had
little to lose.

“I just need to get this stuff out of my system,” he says, “and I’m looking
for an easier, softer way.”

Ibogaine, as even its most ardent supporters say, is not a cure for drug
dependence; however, it apparently can play a potent role as an
addiction-interrupter. The drug has two powerful addiction-fighting effects. The first is
biochemical: It seems to act on serotonin and opiate systems in the brain,
physically nullifying a person’s craving for drugs and smoothing their withdrawal
symptoms. That’s a huge boon for those addicted to heroin and other opiates, many
of whom shrink from the physical pain of detox.

“It has been proved to alleviate the pain and physical discomfort of drug
withdrawal with animals,” says Dr. Stanley Glick, a neuropharmacologist at Albany
Medical Center in New York who has researched the drug for years. “And there
are lots of reports of it doing the same with humans. You hear the same story
a few thousand times, you’ve got to believe there’s something there.”

After a few weeks, this craving-blocking effect generally fades. But by then,
users have been able to detox relatively painlessly, and then have a month or
more free of drug cravings in which to do whatever it takes to stay clean.

“One dose of ibogaine is not a magic bullet,” says Dr. Deborah Mash, a
neurology professor at the University of Miami who has done the most extensive
research on ibogaine’s effects on human beings. “But it can be a powerful first
step on the road to recovery.”

The second effect is less tangible and more controversial. In many users,
ibogaine induces hours of staggering hallucinations while the patient appears to
be sleeping. Many ibogaine users say they gained profound insights from this
experience, which helps them to understand why they became addicts.

Greg Douglass, a former guitarist with the Steve Miller Band, credits a
session last year at the Ibogaine Association with helping him to kick methadone.
Douglass had visions of himself as a terrified child, of his still-living
father in a coffin, of fantastic animals tearing each other apart in a red sea.
Over the next several weeks, he says, he gradually came to understand some of the
messages encoded in the visions.

“I’d be tying my shoes and suddenly have a little epiphany—’Aha, that’s what
that meant.’ ” The visions, he says, “showed me the potential for myself as a
human being.”

Beth Giuliano, a sturdy 25-year-old from New York, had been in and out of
rehab programs for years trying to kick heroin before she found her way to the
Ibogaine Association in February. “I saw my mother holding an infant,” she says,
describing her hallucinations. “I realized that was me. I felt the pain of
what it would be like to have a child who becomes a drug addict. I’d always felt
guilty about my family, but I never really understood their pain until I did
ibogaine.

“I woke up the next day seeing things a completely different way. I’d never
felt so positive,” she says. “I felt like the person I was when I was little or
like a whole new me.” She says she’s done heroin twice since her treatment,
but didn’t enjoy it and has stayed clean for four months.

But there are plenty of people who discount the supposed wonder treatment.
For some, the visions are harrowing and the treatment is a failure. “It’s like
acid times one million,” writes an anonymous naysayer on one of the many web
sites devoted to ibogaine. “I saw God alright—I talked to him. And I was so sure
it was real. But it wasn’t…. It was someone who [messed] with me and scared
the [daylights] out of me.” This person’s account says that others who took the
treatment at the same time saw themselves being crucified or raped. “It
didn’t work for me, and it didn’t work for anyone else that I personally met who
took it,” the writer concludes.

Everyone agrees that ibogaine is no fun. It’s often emotionally unsettling,
mentally exhausting and physically stressful. Its side effects can include
nausea, vomiting, loss of coordination and a potentially dangerous reduction in
blood pressure and heart rate.

There have been several documented deaths in connection with the drug. But
because the ibogaine was not taken in a clinical setting, the cause of death was
never firmly established. Some fatalities may have been caused by preexisting
heart conditions made lethal by ibogaine’s effects. Mash is confident that
there are more that have gone unreported. “There are some pretty unethical
people” giving clandestine treatments, she says. “They just leave patients for dead
in hotel rooms.”

“That’s why ibogaine needs to be legal and available in safe settings,”
Hencken says. “It needs to be in the hands of someone who can judge your health,
your dosage and provide a safe environment.”

The Ibogaine Association requires clients to submit a medical history as well
as undergo testing before treatment can begin. A doctor administers the drug.
Still, the procedure seems remarkably casual.

From San Diego, Craig is brought to the association’s treatment facility, a
rented house on a well-kept residential street near Tijuana. Only the dining
room, which has been converted into a medication-equipped office, and the oxygen
tanks under the stairs indicate that it is a medical establishment, of sorts.

The doctor treating Craig is Francisco Cañez, a calm, round-faced man who
splits his time between the association and a hospital emergency room. Craig sits
with his arms crossed, looking more than a tad nervous as Cañez reviews his
file and calculates his ibogaine dosage. From a small jar, he shakes out three
gelatin capsules filled with white powder and hands them to Craig.

Craig looks speculatively at the first pill, which he’ll take to make sure he
doesn’t have an allergic reaction. “Well, I’ve put all kinds of things in my
body,” he says, shrugging. Half an hour later, having evinced no untoward
initial responses, he swallows the other two pills.

Cañez then takes him into a bedroom, where sheets of Styrofoam cover the
windows and a CD softly plays rainforest sounds, and attaches him to a heart
monitor next to the bed. The monitor’s graph flutters peacefully as the ibogaine
gradually pulls Craig away. After a while, he just lies there silently, engulfed
in a hallucinogenic hurricane.

After several hours, the visions gradually start to subside. Craig sits up,
nauseated and dizzy. “That was a wild ride,” he mutters. Though he hasn’t had a
painkiller in several days, he finds he doesn’t crave one now. He lies down
again and drops back into his head for another hour. Finally, he revives enough
to be moved to another house where he will spend the next day recovering. He
totters out to the van with small, jittery steps.

Ibogaine’s addiction-fighting potential was discovered only recently, and
accidentally. It was sold as a stimulant in France during the middle decades of
the last century, and an American psychologist and a psychiatrist dabbled with
it in the 1950s and ’60s. So little was known about it that it could not even
be considered a curiosity.

But in 1962, Howard Lotsof, a 19-year-old New York student with a heroin
habit and an appetite for other pharmacological kicks, scored some powder that he
was told would give him a 36-hour trip. Lotsof and some of his junkie pals
experimented with it and, to their astonishment, found that it knocked out their
heroin craving.

Mightily impressed, Lotsof tried to drum up street interest, and a little
cash for himself in the process. It never caught on in a big way, but it did find
a place in counterculture lore—and got banned by the federal government in
1970. It was memorably cited by gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, who
speculated that “a bad ibogaine frenzy” was the likely explanation for Democrat Ed
Muskie’s oddly emotional behavior in the 1972 presidential campaign.

Ibogaine’s legend grew as a constant trickle of adventurous addicts tried it.
In the mid-’80s, Lotsof managed to patent ibogaine as an anti-addiction
palliative, and set up a company to try to bring it to market. An early series of
treatments in the Netherlands looked promising, although there were a couple of
ibogaine-related deaths elsewhere in Europe.

Lotsof continued his crusade. In the early ’90s, he and other activists
persuaded a federal agency to cough up several million dollars for ibogaine
research. He recruited Mash and the two began working together. (They have since
parted ways.) By 1993, Mash had won FDA approval to begin testing ibogaine on
human subjects. But then one of Lotsof’s informal patients in the Netherlands
died. In 1995, the National Institute on Drug Abuse decided not to proceed to
clinical studies.

“Committee members were not all that impressed with its efficacy, but the
safety issue stopped them in their tracks,” says Frank Vocci, a federal
researcher who has followed ibogaine’s progress. “What you have are a lot of
interesting, colorful anecdotes. But the plural of anecdotes is not scientific data.”

A number of researchers around the country, however, have become sufficiently
intrigued to continue experimenting with animals. Dozens of articles have
appeared in scientific journals, most of them reporting promising results that
buttress the anecdotal evidence.

Mash is doing her own part to advance the cause. In 1996 she helped to launch
an ibogaine clinic on the Caribbean island of St. Kitts. During the next five
years, she gathered data on more than 300 patients who sought treatment
there—the largest body of serious clinical research on ibogaine ever collected.

Mash presented her findings at a medical conference last fall in San
Francisco. Granted, her sample wasn’t representative of America’s drug users: Most
were white men between 20 and 40 years old, the sort of addicts who can afford to
spend several weeks and several thousand dollars detoxing in the Caribbean.
Still, she declared that her research proves that ibogaine can be administered
safely and does help break addictions. “We saw people with big methadone
habits lose their cravings after just a single dose of ibogaine,” she says. “One
month later, both cocaine and opiate addicts reported cravings were
significantly lower. And at one year, drug use was significantly down among testees.”

At this point, perhaps the major obstacle to Ibogaine’s mainstream acceptance
is its scrofulous image. This isn’t a medicine developed by white-coated
scientists; its anti-addictive properties were discovered by a junkie, and some of
its promoters are folks who may be of more interest to the attorney general
than the surgeon general.

One of ibogaine’s most energetic boosters is Marc Emery, founder of a
Vancouver, Canada, clinic. Emery is a verbose, middle-aged man with bushy hair and
corporate-casual clothes. You’d never guess that he heads the British Columbia
Marijuana Party and is, by his reckoning, one of the world’s largest sellers of
pot seeds. It is his personal mission to bring ibogaine to the masses,
because the drug helped his adopted son kick methadone and heroin. Until this
spring, Emery offered free treatment in the Iboga Therapy House, a clinic that
consists of a plush one-bedroom apartment in a Vancouver high-rise. With his cash
flow crimped by business and legal troubles (he just spent two months in a
Saskatchewan jail for passing a joint at a gathering), he has stopped funding the
clinic, putting its program on hold, but he remains supportive. “It was a very
worthwhile investment,” he says. “The improvements I saw in our patients were
significant and astonishing.”

Still, Emery’s enthusiasm is unlikely to change the minds of skeptics such as
Dr. Herbert Kleber, head of the substance abuse division at Columbia
University’s school of medicine. “I’m in favor of anything that works, but there needs
to be proof that it does, and that it doesn’t endanger patients,” he says.
“I’ve been in this field 35 years, and I’ve seen a lot of magic bullets. They
often turn out to be worse than the disease.”

Getting that kind of proof requires controlled experiments on human subjects,
which is what Mash is working toward. She has isolated a molecule called
noribogaine, which is produced in the body as it metabolizes ibogaine, and which
she believes is the key agent that blocks drug cravings. She is trying to get
FDA approval to start human testing. On a parallel track, Stanley Glick has
synthesized a chemical cousin of ibogaine dubbed 18-MC, which he also hopes to
market.

Both Mash and Glick think their ibogaine derivatives will give users the
drug-blocking effect without the hallucinations—something both believe is
necessary if the FDA is to approve their products.

But would eliminating ibogaine’s psychedelic side diminish its effectiveness?
No one knows. “For me, the ideal would be for people to take ibogaine in a
controlled environment, and use the experience as part of their psychotherapy,”
Mash says. “Then slap a noribogaine patch on them.”

Mash and Glick also face a more prosaic obstacle: money. Funding
comprehensive clinical trials for a new drug is colossally expensive, and so far neither
has found anyone willing to pony up the full cost. In October, a Los Angeles
philanthropist pledged to give Mash $250,000 to restart research at the
University of Miami, but that’s only a tiny fraction of what will eventually be
necessary if ibogaine is ever to be brought to market.

“The pharmaceutical industry has never wanted much to do with addiction
medicine,” Glick says. “It’s not very profitable, and it’s bad public relations.”

Though there are millions of people addicted to various substances in the
U.S., many of them don’t want, or can’t afford, treatment. Worse, from a
bottom-line standpoint, an ibogaine-based treatment drug would be used only once—a
feeble investment for companies accustomed to cash-cow refillable prescriptions.

Which leaves people like Craig knocking on doors of unregulated ibogaine
clinics in a desperate search for something that will help defeat their addictions.

“All these clinics popping up all over the world—it’s become almost a
cult-like phenomenon,” Glick says. “All the hype and politics around ibogaine just
make my job harder. It means the scientific establishment and regulatory
agencies take a dim view.”

But the ranks of the believers keep growing. Six months after his ibogaine
treatment, Craig says he’s staying clean and feeling great. “That stuff worked
just like it was supposed to,” he says. “It was so much better than the detox I
tried. I don’t understand why it’s not legal.”

*

Editor’s note:

In this article, the name of the patient seeking ibogaine treatment in
Tijuana has been changed to protect his privacy. However, the Los Angeles Times
Magazine has verified his identity and the circumstances described in the article.
If you want other stories on this topic, search the Archives at
latimes.com/archives.

Article licensing and reprint options

————————————————————————

Copyright 2004 Los Angeles Times

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From: <slowone@hush.ai>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 27, 2004 at 2:48:34 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 04:15:16 -0800 Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
wrote:
Similarly I am not a great fan of DMT from what I have read as I
think its a shortcut to spiritual dimensions best reserved for
those whose souls have been prepared for the experience. Otherwise

the combination of ones own inner demons coupled with the doors
which are been opened can lead to serious problems afterwards imo.

In my experience, the container is all-important. So far the best
one for me is group singing in a church setting, which is what I
started with. The first time I did my own homebrew, the message
was, “why are you doing this alone, your path is to connect with
people,” and the church has been my satisfaction and growth ever
since. (I also learn in free-form group singing without the
religious or entheogenic aspects.) Plus with ayahuasca there is the
vine, which on its own can take one on a slow unhallucinogenic path
of deep body learning. It is all work, the hardest and deepest that
one is capable of, no shortcuts I thoroughly agree.

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From: D H <dave@phantom.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 27, 2004 at 2:41:10 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jasen,

maybe take the train to amsterdam and see the museums, have some dutch french fries (the best) or some pankoecken, appleflap, toasties and a hot cup of tea. yum. then walk along the canals or rent a bike and pedal around the city, if it’s not too cold.

_.dh

On Saturday, November 27, 2004, at 09:28 AM, <slowone@hush.ai> wrote:

You could try singing? Drawing? Explore those vibrations and see
what further healing and messages come when you take the active
role in place of eboga, carrying on your healing. Boredom may be
just the veil your habits are throwing over the next stage. Beware
of endings that amount to dissatisfaction. 🙂

On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 02:57:33 -0800 Sara Glatt <sara119@xs4all.nl>
wrote:
THANKS randy.
I AM SOOO BORED,CANYOU GUYS COME OVER.
You are right about aftercare,there is a lot of work to be done to

heal the
world.
I realised something being over the other side of the world,your
vibratioal
frequencies tune into
Different parts of the world depending on where you are born,which

port hole
on earth through your mothers womb,life without end,..a spiral,no
beginning
and no end
So when you live away from where you were born,it can feel as if
everything
is twice as hard.Like you are going against the grain..

IT MAY BE THE ONLY WAY HOWEVER IN CAN BE DONE IN A MUCH BIGGER AND
BETTERWAY,IF GREED MOVED OVER A TRIFLE.
Sara’S is very affordable. Just fuc ing boring. SORRY sara,I do
love you and
you are a princess,the bwiti princess,her vibes hide her princess
appearances as others see her,but I KNOW BECAUSE I saw,SARA IS THE

bwiti
PRINCESS.

Eboga must be taken naturally,to be effective on every plain,to
work on
every frequency the body neads to heal.WE ARE 4 DIMENSIOAL BEINGS
and need
healing on all freqences. Science and Natural medicine must work
together.
Love you all Jasen.
_____

Van: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com]
Verzonden: maandag 22 november 2004 12:32
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Jasen you freakin’  ROCKKK. See. It’s the only way, huh. Tell us
more when
you can. How long are you going to be there? I’d stay as long as I

could if
I were you. Everybody was right about aftercare. It sure makes me
feel
better about everything.     Randy

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
secure FREE email: http://www.hushmail.com/?l=2

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http://www.hushmail.com/services-messenger?l=434

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From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 27, 2004 at 2:32:06 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jasen! I am so fuckin’ proud of you! Honestly I am envious too! Life changing experience huh? You just keep on keepin’ on!
Callie

From: <slowone@hush.ai>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 27, 2004 at 2:28:12 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

You could try singing? Drawing? Explore those vibrations and see
what further healing and messages come when you take the active
role in place of eboga, carrying on your healing. Boredom may be
just the veil your habits are throwing over the next stage. Beware
of endings that amount to dissatisfaction. 🙂

On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 02:57:33 -0800 Sara Glatt <sara119@xs4all.nl>
wrote:
THANKS randy.
I AM SOOO BORED,CANYOU GUYS COME OVER.
You are right about aftercare,there is a lot of work to be done to

heal the
world.
I realised something being over the other side of the world,your
vibratioal
frequencies tune into
Different parts of the world depending on where you are born,which

port hole
on earth through your mothers womb,life without end,..a spiral,no
beginning
and no end
So when you live away from where you were born,it can feel as if
everything
is twice as hard.Like you are going against the grain..

IT MAY BE THE ONLY WAY HOWEVER IN CAN BE DONE IN A MUCH BIGGER AND
BETTERWAY,IF GREED MOVED OVER A TRIFLE.
Sara’S is very affordable. Just fuc ing boring. SORRY sara,I do
love you and
you are a princess,the bwiti princess,her vibes hide her princess
appearances as others see her,but I KNOW BECAUSE I saw,SARA IS THE

bwiti
PRINCESS.

Eboga must be taken naturally,to be effective on every plain,to
work on
every frequency the body neads to heal.WE ARE 4 DIMENSIOAL BEINGS
and need
healing on all freqences. Science and Natural medicine must work
together.
Love you all Jasen.
_____

Van: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com]
Verzonden: maandag 22 november 2004 12:32
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Jasen you freakin’  ROCKKK. See. It’s the only way, huh. Tell us
more when
you can. How long are you going to be there? I’d stay as long as I

could if
I were you. Everybody was right about aftercare. It sure makes me
feel
better about everything.     Randy

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
secure FREE email: http://www.hushmail.com/?l=2

Free, ultra-private instant messaging with Hush Messenger
http://www.hushmail.com/services-messenger?l=434

Promote security and make money with the Hushmail Affiliate Program:
http://www.hushmail.com/about-affiliate?l=427

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From: D H <dave@phantom.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] visions
Date: November 27, 2004 at 2:12:37 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

visions i have had

On Saturday, November 27, 2004, at 01:03 AM, knowone knowwhere wrote:

visions have Anyone else ??

—  <thethird@myway.com> wrote:
Anyone else have visions
similar and any ideas that you get from them?

I did Ibogaine about a year and a
half ago. I had a big trip w/ lots of visuals,

<^> inspiring ones first
(i.e. this is what the world is
really about, now stop shooting dope and become one
with the world),
: ) <cherry flavored mind pops> : )
and then the fun house madness hit
(or madhouse fun) which was mixed with apathetic
speedy visions of humans doing all their worst
traits.
What didya see?

I went from shooting smack daily to being
totally clean for a month or two. But I still had
some crRav3nGgs and kidz knew that if I didn’t do
something
I’d be shooting up again and agin and agn.

Their is that something/ That ‘if I don’t do
something’ something.

I wanted to go on suboxone
(buprenorphine/naloxone mix) but the closest clinic
had a doctor that was almost but not quite
certified. So I went on methadone for a few months
at a low dose of 35 Mg’s, and then switched to
suboxone once the doc was certified, which I’ve been
on for over a year.

What dose?   Was the switch difficult?

At times I feel I failed because
I didn’t totally rewrite my addictive tendencies
after Ibogaine,

itz still better then nothing.  Their may or may not
be shades of gray between ‘failed’ and ‘success’.  I
personally don’t think you have failed, but I’m a
crazy person who’s current form of avoidance is the
on’line version of ‘hugging a stranger’.  But no, I
don’t think you have failed. (place product
advertisement here)

even though it brought about a major
change and helped me get to a life that could
actually be called a life.
it brought about a major
change and helped me get to a life that could
actually be called a life.  helped me get to a life

what made it life?   may not be as out of reach as
appears

I have panic attacks and
the suboxone helps with those, and the panic attacks
get worse
when
I am in
situations
where

I have to

speak
in front of a crowd.

That’s about as normal as you can get.  Non-judgmental
people are out in audience too.  They’re like rooting
you on and stuff.  They are ‘on stage’ with you, they
just don’t realize it.  “All the world is a stage” and
all that.
Panic attacks are yucky, they are one of the main
reasons I started Heroin in the first place.  Did you
have them before ibo too?  It takes some work, like
working out I guess but what I try to do in response
to that is work on learning how to rest during rest
time (relax time/let go time or whatever)_or… when
fear over takes logic, deep breaths can be nice, not
in a ‘oh g-d oh g-d I’ve got to breathe deep, I’m
having a panic attack’ way, but in a “At least SOME of
that which is beyond my 5 senses ISN’T out to get me.”
way. Almost to the point that G-d loves me or hates
me, before I realize that G-d has a few more important
matters to deal with, Why else wouldn’t s/he post?

—>   When I am going to school   <—
*that is a good thing

is when I have the worst bouts of panic attacks, and
I am getting ready to go back and finish my degree,

Give yourself some credit following through with that.
what are you getting your degree in?

so I think suboxone will help with that,

oh, I thought you were already on it.

but I don’t believe I want to be on it for life.

: )Going to live in the moment forever: )

So I am
thinking about how I should come off the suboxone.

<Paging Dr. Lotsof>

I’m interested in hearing anyone’s adventures with
doing follow-up Ibogaine treatments.

I had a intense dark hcl dose then a smaller extract
few months after to help grow out of the fear from the
previous, it helped.  I had plenty of benzo’s ready if
I needed them (I didn’t, but just knowing they were
there if needed made me feel more at ease), small
dose, no “dream”.

My first trip
was so intense that I don’t know if I could convince
myself to do it again, but I am definitely thinking
about it. Also, it’s been over a year since my first
trip and I find myself forgetting some of it.

Yeah I’m “quick to forget” too
<play sound of bong bubbles>

Does
anybody have a way to help remember the trip?

(refer to previous sound)

Another thing I wondered about was the
visuals/feelings in other people’s trips.

me too.

I know a
lot of people see the spiritual good stuff about why
we should stop doing drugs and start our life, but
how many of you guys saw bad aspects of humanity?

The two were connected.

I saw a small part of reality.  The story is still
being written, until…  But it can still be a life.
But yeah, life is perishable “unless it’s not”.

I
saw

people doing the
basest animalistic things,

Damn it!! everyone went to New Orl but me : )

things that when an
animal does them,

don’t seem as bad,

but because the
humans have the capability for higher emotions the
scenes were devastating.

Please, do tell…you really have me curious,
hmmm….where did I put that machine.

Also, the bad feeling I got
watching these visions was much worse than if I
wasn’t hallucinating.

Your right they do seem to have a bigger effect seeing
things that way, but I think seeing those things is an
opportunity to motivate to do our part to try to help
balance it out a little.

It’s like the sad feeling I
would get if I really saw some of that stuff happen
was highly amplified.
sometimes Avoidance=battery charger

Anyone else have visions
similar and any ideas that you get from them?

and any ideas that you get from them?
Sorry
about all the Pretty questions.? Pretty nosy for a
question!

I am just very interested in Ibogaine and

am excited
to find a place with people who like to talk about
it!
: ) me too.
—————————————

Jasen, A white candle burning now in Dallas for
wellness for you and all receiving this

Sean,   I think Less harm is good.

Callie,  : ) I don’t see anything wrong with it
either.

Randy, I think Bill W would have liked ibo.  But can’t
chat ’bout that, too busy drilling oil w/ JR and dem.
Drilling oil and Political redistricting, that’s all
we do round these parts…now lets go to the library
and rent us some movies.: )

Schoolboy, sincere thank you for the good info, it is
very much appreciated.

Lee,   You are very much an Amazing person who
deserves Grace.  You and ALL have my respect.

Oh and Re: Thanksgiving,
last year I was digesting an ibo session in jail with
leftover ‘done withdrawals.
This Thanksgiving, before going to a wonderful meal
enjoyed by family including two new baby’s, I started
the day with our sacred circle jerk and found
Preston’s post (that made me laugh out loud as I
hadn’t read that WSB [or heard it] in so long) was one
of many totally fucking awesome posts that morning
(not to say they aren’t always totally awesome
but…well yeah, I’m saying that.  I thought it was a
GREAT way to start off the day…but to each their own
I guess.  Now where did I put that machine? and what
the fuck did you do with my script pad?

_______________________________________________
kNow kidding.
Make home >  -11

___________________________________________________________
Win a castle for NYE with your mates and Yahoo! Messenger
http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com

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From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks
Date: November 27, 2004 at 2:06:07 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/27/04 11:47:21 AM, HSLotsof@aol.com writes:

The long awaited LA Times article on ibogaine just appeared on their web
page.

http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-ibogaine48nov28,0
,
775349.story?coll=la-home-magazine

The Magical Mystery Tour
Drug and alcohol addicts are going abroad in search of the purported miracle

treatment called ibogaine. But will the drug industry embrace a substance
that
causes a hallucinatory high?

Try

http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-ibogaine48nov28,0,
775349.story?coll=la-home-magazine

Thanks

Howard

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From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks
Date: November 27, 2004 at 2:01:11 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

————————————————————————
http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-ibogaine48nov28,0,
775349.story?coll=la-home-magazine

The Magical Mystery Tour

Drug and alcohol addicts are going abroad in search of the purported miracle
treatment called ibogaine. But will the drug industry embrace a substance that
causes a hallucinatory high?
By Vince Beiser
Special to The Times

November 28, 2004
The hallucinations are coming fast and vivid. Faces, shapes, colors rush
toward him, melting and swirling into each other, sometimes coalescing into more
concrete visions. He sees himself floating underwater. By turns, his four
children drift by. Sometimes they blow bubbles and float happily up to the surface;
sometimes they sink straight down, disappearing into darkness. Then there are
three ships, coming in to dock at three tubes; he knows, somehow, that they
are building a bomb, and if all three dock successfully it will explode. He
tries to direct them away, but can’t. The final ship enters the final tube. A
titanic explosion collapses everything into darkness.

Then it all starts again.

While Craig’s mind reels through this visual cacophony, his body lies quietly
in a darkened room in a house near Tijuana, deep in the grip of a powerful
psychedelic drug. His wife, his children and his upper-middle-class home in Salt
Lake City are all far, far away.

Craig is not some crystal-collecting spiritual seeker on a Carlos Castañeda
trip. He is a prosperous, respected restaurant owner, age 50. He is friendly
with the mayor and active in mainstream charities. Other than family vacations
to the Bahamas and Mazatlan, Mexico, this is the only time he has been outside
of the United States.

Craig is here because he is desperate. He is addicted to
painkillers—OxyContin, Lortab and other illegally obtained prescription opiates. His habit is
costing him $1,500 a month, and he knows he must stop. Conventional detox programs
have failed to help, so he has slipped over the border to try a treatment
that is as much an urban myth as a scientifically proven medication—and is as
illegal as heroin in the United States.

The treatment is a dose of a powerful hallucinogen called ibogaine. It is
derived from the roots of a shrub called Tabernanthe iboga that grows in Africa.
Local tribespeople have used it as a peyote-like sacrament for generations.
Since the 1960s, it has circulated on the margins of Western drug culture,
sustained by its reputation as a potent healer. A single daylong trip on ibogaine,
lore has it, can help break an addiction to heroin, cocaine, alcohol or even
cigarettes.

Other hallucinogens such as Ecstasy have purported to be helpful in treating
addiction, but interest in ibogaine seems to be approaching critical mass. The
increasing number of anecdotal success stories has attracted the attention of
researchers. Although there is no rock-solid proof, scientific consensus is
growing that this drug may indeed possess potent addiction-thwarting properties.

Regardless of what science says, faith is flourishing. A devoted community
has grown up around ibogaine—a motley congregation of former junkies,
envelope-pushing academics and drug-reform zealots helping to spread awareness and use
of the drug. There reportedly are at least two underground activists in the
U.S. who will provide it to seekers illegally. But taking ibogaine doesn’t have
to involve breaking laws, because it’s legal in many countries. As a result,
clinics are popping up from the Caribbean to Pakistan, offering ibogaine
treatment for a few thousand dollars to well over $10,000.

The clinic near Tijuana is, relatively speaking, among the most reputable. It
was opened in 2001 by Martin Polanco, a Mexican doctor who was impressed with
how ibogaine—obtained at an underground U.S. clinic—had helped one of his
relatives beat cocaine addiction. Polanco’s facility, known as the Ibogaine
Association, has administered more than 350 treatments and currently has 10 to 15
new patients a month, says program director Randy Hencken.

Hencken, a gangly 28-year-old with curly hair and little studs in each ear,
was one of Polanco’s first patients. He had dropped out of college at 21 to
devote himself to cocaine and, eventually, heroin. Over the years, he tried
everything from 12-step programs to methadone to get clean, but nothing worked. He
discovered ibogaine on the Internet, made his way to Polanco’s facility, and
returned with his addiction broken. He has since embraced the cause with a
convert’s zeal, taking a job as the association’s main organizer.

On the summer day Craig is to begin his ibogaine experience, Hencken is
padding around a San Diego apartment that doubles as the association’s U.S. office.
The place fits naturally in the beachside slacker-student-surfer
neighborhood. The front room is furnished with worn couches and a computer emblazoned with
a Jane’s Addiction sticker. A bike and surfboards hang on hooks in the
kitchen.

Hencken, dressed in a black T-shirt and pants, hops into an unmarked van and
drives to a dingy airport motel. Waiting in the parking lot is Craig, a trim,
compact man wearing loafers, khakis and a Nike T-shirt.

“I’ve got to admit this is a little weird,” says Craig, who flew in from Salt
Lake the night before. “I feel like we’re doing a drug deal.” Which, in a
sense, they are. Craig gets in the van and they roll south.

Craig is highly motivated to undertake this bizarre journey. He was an
alcoholic for years, with the smashed cars and nights in jail to show for it. He
quit drinking 16 years ago and has stayed sober. But a few years ago he was
prescribed painkillers for a knee injury and discovered that he liked them. He
began downing fistfuls of pills daily, scoring them from one of his employees. “At
first it was recreational,” he recalls. “But then you find yourself doing
them just to get from point A to B and you know it’s a problem.”

Last year, he checked himself into a rehab center and went cold turkey. “It
was horrible,” he says. “You hurt from your bones in. I couldn’t sleep. I cried
like a baby. I’d take hot baths all day and eat ibuprofen like candy.” He
stayed clean for six weeks and then fell off the wagon.

“I can’t stop myself. But I know I can’t go down that road again like I did
with alcohol,” he says. “But when you’re on opiates, it really hurts to stop.”
So when his dealer, who had been scouring the Internet for unconventional ways
to kick drugs, told Craig about the Ibogaine Association, he decided he had
little to lose.

“I just need to get this stuff out of my system,” he says, “and I’m looking
for an easier, softer way.”

Ibogaine, as even its most ardent supporters say, is not a cure for drug
dependence; however, it apparently can play a potent role as an
addiction-interrupter. The drug has two powerful addiction-fighting effects. The first is
biochemical: It seems to act on serotonin and opiate systems in the brain,
physically nullifying a person’s craving for drugs and smoothing their withdrawal
symptoms. That’s a huge boon for those addicted to heroin and other opiates, many
of whom shrink from the physical pain of detox.

“It has been proved to alleviate the pain and physical discomfort of drug
withdrawal with animals,” says Dr. Stanley Glick, a neuropharmacologist at Albany
Medical Center in New York who has researched the drug for years. “And there
are lots of reports of it doing the same with humans. You hear the same story
a few thousand times, you’ve got to believe there’s something there.”

After a few weeks, this craving-blocking effect generally fades. But by then,
users have been able to detox relatively painlessly, and then have a month or
more free of drug cravings in which to do whatever it takes to stay clean.

“One dose of ibogaine is not a magic bullet,” says Dr. Deborah Mash, a
neurology professor at the University of Miami who has done the most extensive
research on ibogaine’s effects on human beings. “But it can be a powerful first
step on the road to recovery.”

The second effect is less tangible and more controversial. In many users,
ibogaine induces hours of staggering hallucinations while the patient appears to
be sleeping. Many ibogaine users say they gained profound insights from this
experience, which helps them to understand why they became addicts.

Greg Douglass, a former guitarist with the Steve Miller Band, credits a
session last year at the Ibogaine Association with helping him to kick methadone.
Douglass had visions of himself as a terrified child, of his still-living
father in a coffin, of fantastic animals tearing each other apart in a red sea.
Over the next several weeks, he says, he gradually came to understand some of the
messages encoded in the visions.

“I’d be tying my shoes and suddenly have a little epiphany—’Aha, that’s what
that meant.’ ” The visions, he says, “showed me the potential for myself as a
human being.”

Beth Giuliano, a sturdy 25-year-old from New York, had been in and out of
rehab programs for years trying to kick heroin before she found her way to the
Ibogaine Association in February. “I saw my mother holding an infant,” she says,
describing her hallucinations. “I realized that was me. I felt the pain of
what it would be like to have a child who becomes a drug addict. I’d always felt
guilty about my family, but I never really understood their pain until I did
ibogaine.

“I woke up the next day seeing things a completely different way. I’d never
felt so positive,” she says. “I felt like the person I was when I was little or
like a whole new me.” She says she’s done heroin twice since her treatment,
but didn’t enjoy it and has stayed clean for four months.

But there are plenty of people who discount the supposed wonder treatment.
For some, the visions are harrowing and the treatment is a failure. “It’s like
acid times one million,” writes an anonymous naysayer on one of the many web
sites devoted to ibogaine. “I saw God alright—I talked to him. And I was so sure
it was real. But it wasn’t…. It was someone who [messed] with me and scared
the [daylights] out of me.” This person’s account says that others who took the
treatment at the same time saw themselves being crucified or raped. “It
didn’t work for me, and it didn’t work for anyone else that I personally met who
took it,” the writer concludes.

Everyone agrees that ibogaine is no fun. It’s often emotionally unsettling,
mentally exhausting and physically stressful. Its side effects can include
nausea, vomiting, loss of coordination and a potentially dangerous reduction in
blood pressure and heart rate.

There have been several documented deaths in connection with the drug. But
because the ibogaine was not taken in a clinical setting, the cause of death was
never firmly established. Some fatalities may have been caused by preexisting
heart conditions made lethal by ibogaine’s effects. Mash is confident that
there are more that have gone unreported. “There are some pretty unethical
people” giving clandestine treatments, she says. “They just leave patients for dead
in hotel rooms.”

“That’s why ibogaine needs to be legal and available in safe settings,”
Hencken says. “It needs to be in the hands of someone who can judge your health,
your dosage and provide a safe environment.”

The Ibogaine Association requires clients to submit a medical history as well
as undergo testing before treatment can begin. A doctor administers the drug.
Still, the procedure seems remarkably casual.

From San Diego, Craig is brought to the association’s treatment facility, a
rented house on a well-kept residential street near Tijuana. Only the dining
room, which has been converted into a medication-equipped office, and the oxygen
tanks under the stairs indicate that it is a medical establishment, of sorts.

The doctor treating Craig is Francisco Cañez, a calm, round-faced man who
splits his time between the association and a hospital emergency room. Craig sits
with his arms crossed, looking more than a tad nervous as Cañez reviews his
file and calculates his ibogaine dosage. From a small jar, he shakes out three
gelatin capsules filled with white powder and hands them to Craig.

Craig looks speculatively at the first pill, which he’ll take to make sure he
doesn’t have an allergic reaction. “Well, I’ve put all kinds of things in my
body,” he says, shrugging. Half an hour later, having evinced no untoward
initial responses, he swallows the other two pills.

Cañez then takes him into a bedroom, where sheets of Styrofoam cover the
windows and a CD softly plays rainforest sounds, and attaches him to a heart
monitor next to the bed. The monitor’s graph flutters peacefully as the ibogaine
gradually pulls Craig away. After a while, he just lies there silently, engulfed
in a hallucinogenic hurricane.

After several hours, the visions gradually start to subside. Craig sits up,
nauseated and dizzy. “That was a wild ride,” he mutters. Though he hasn’t had a
painkiller in several days, he finds he doesn’t crave one now. He lies down
again and drops back into his head for another hour. Finally, he revives enough
to be moved to another house where he will spend the next day recovering. He
totters out to the van with small, jittery steps.

Ibogaine’s addiction-fighting potential was discovered only recently, and
accidentally. It was sold as a stimulant in France during the middle decades of
the last century, and an American psychologist and a psychiatrist dabbled with
it in the 1950s and ’60s. So little was known about it that it could not even
be considered a curiosity.

But in 1962, Howard Lotsof, a 19-year-old New York student with a heroin
habit and an appetite for other pharmacological kicks, scored some powder that he
was told would give him a 36-hour trip. Lotsof and some of his junkie pals
experimented with it and, to their astonishment, found that it knocked out their
heroin craving.

Mightily impressed, Lotsof tried to drum up street interest, and a little
cash for himself in the process. It never caught on in a big way, but it did find
a place in counterculture lore—and got banned by the federal government in
1970. It was memorably cited by gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, who
speculated that “a bad ibogaine frenzy” was the likely explanation for Democrat Ed
Muskie’s oddly emotional behavior in the 1972 presidential campaign.

Ibogaine’s legend grew as a constant trickle of adventurous addicts tried it.
In the mid-’80s, Lotsof managed to patent ibogaine as an anti-addiction
palliative, and set up a company to try to bring it to market. An early series of
treatments in the Netherlands looked promising, although there were a couple of
ibogaine-related deaths elsewhere in Europe.

Lotsof continued his crusade. In the early ’90s, he and other activists
persuaded a federal agency to cough up several million dollars for ibogaine
research. He recruited Mash and the two began working together. (They have since
parted ways.) By 1993, Mash had won FDA approval to begin testing ibogaine on
human subjects. But then one of Lotsof’s informal patients in the Netherlands
died. In 1995, the National Institute on Drug Abuse decided not to proceed to
clinical studies.

“Committee members were not all that impressed with its efficacy, but the
safety issue stopped them in their tracks,” says Frank Vocci, a federal
researcher who has followed ibogaine’s progress. “What you have are a lot of
interesting, colorful anecdotes. But the plural of anecdotes is not scientific data.”

A number of researchers around the country, however, have become sufficiently
intrigued to continue experimenting with animals. Dozens of articles have
appeared in scientific journals, most of them reporting promising results that
buttress the anecdotal evidence.

Mash is doing her own part to advance the cause. In 1996 she helped to launch
an ibogaine clinic on the Caribbean island of St. Kitts. During the next five
years, she gathered data on more than 300 patients who sought treatment
there—the largest body of serious clinical research on ibogaine ever collected.

Mash presented her findings at a medical conference last fall in San
Francisco. Granted, her sample wasn’t representative of America’s drug users: Most
were white men between 20 and 40 years old, the sort of addicts who can afford to
spend several weeks and several thousand dollars detoxing in the Caribbean.
Still, she declared that her research proves that ibogaine can be administered
safely and does help break addictions. “We saw people with big methadone
habits lose their cravings after just a single dose of ibogaine,” she says. “One
month later, both cocaine and opiate addicts reported cravings were
significantly lower. And at one year, drug use was significantly down among testees.”

At this point, perhaps the major obstacle to Ibogaine’s mainstream acceptance
is its scrofulous image. This isn’t a medicine developed by white-coated
scientists; its anti-addictive properties were discovered by a junkie, and some of
its promoters are folks who may be of more interest to the attorney general
than the surgeon general.

One of ibogaine’s most energetic boosters is Marc Emery, founder of a
Vancouver, Canada, clinic. Emery is a verbose, middle-aged man with bushy hair and
corporate-casual clothes. You’d never guess that he heads the British Columbia
Marijuana Party and is, by his reckoning, one of the world’s largest sellers of
pot seeds. It is his personal mission to bring ibogaine to the masses,
because the drug helped his adopted son kick methadone and heroin. Until this
spring, Emery offered free treatment in the Iboga Therapy House, a clinic that
consists of a plush one-bedroom apartment in a Vancouver high-rise. With his cash
flow crimped by business and legal troubles (he just spent two months in a
Saskatchewan jail for passing a joint at a gathering), he has stopped funding the
clinic, putting its program on hold, but he remains supportive. “It was a very
worthwhile investment,” he says. “The improvements I saw in our patients were
significant and astonishing.”

Still, Emery’s enthusiasm is unlikely to change the minds of skeptics such as
Dr. Herbert Kleber, head of the substance abuse division at Columbia
University’s school of medicine. “I’m in favor of anything that works, but there needs
to be proof that it does, and that it doesn’t endanger patients,” he says.
“I’ve been in this field 35 years, and I’ve seen a lot of magic bullets. They
often turn out to be worse than the disease.”

Getting that kind of proof requires controlled experiments on human subjects,
which is what Mash is working toward. She has isolated a molecule called
noribogaine, which is produced in the body as it metabolizes ibogaine, and which
she believes is the key agent that blocks drug cravings. She is trying to get
FDA approval to start human testing. On a parallel track, Stanley Glick has
synthesized a chemical cousin of ibogaine dubbed 18-MC, which he also hopes to
market.

Both Mash and Glick think their ibogaine derivatives will give users the
drug-blocking effect without the hallucinations—something both believe is
necessary if the FDA is to approve their products.

But would eliminating ibogaine’s psychedelic side diminish its effectiveness?
No one knows. “For me, the ideal would be for people to take ibogaine in a
controlled environment, and use the experience as part of their psychotherapy,”
Mash says. “Then slap a noribogaine patch on them.”

Mash and Glick also face a more prosaic obstacle: money. Funding
comprehensive clinical trials for a new drug is colossally expensive, and so far neither
has found anyone willing to pony up the full cost. In October, a Los Angeles
philanthropist pledged to give Mash $250,000 to restart research at the
University of Miami, but that’s only a tiny fraction of what will eventually be
necessary if ibogaine is ever to be brought to market.

“The pharmaceutical industry has never wanted much to do with addiction
medicine,” Glick says. “It’s not very profitable, and it’s bad public relations.”

Though there are millions of people addicted to various substances in the
U.S., many of them don’t want, or can’t afford, treatment. Worse, from a
bottom-line standpoint, an ibogaine-based treatment drug would be used only once—a
feeble investment for companies accustomed to cash-cow refillable prescriptions.

Which leaves people like Craig knocking on doors of unregulated ibogaine
clinics in a desperate search for something that will help defeat their addictions.

“All these clinics popping up all over the world—it’s become almost a
cult-like phenomenon,” Glick says. “All the hype and politics around ibogaine just
make my job harder. It means the scientific establishment and regulatory
agencies take a dim view.”

But the ranks of the believers keep growing. Six months after his ibogaine
treatment, Craig says he’s staying clean and feeling great. “That stuff worked
just like it was supposed to,” he says. “It was so much better than the detox I
tried. I don’t understand why it’s not legal.”

*

Editor’s note:

In this article, the name of the patient seeking ibogaine treatment in
Tijuana has been changed to protect his privacy. However, the Los Angeles Times
Magazine has verified his identity and the circumstances described in the article.
If you want other stories on this topic, search the Archives at
latimes.com/archives.

Article licensing and reprint options

————————————————————————

Copyright 2004 Los Angeles Times

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From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen unbored
Date: November 27, 2004 at 1:53:26 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jasen,

Why don’t you unbore yourself by feng shuiing sara’s place.  Is her house
feng shui?  Will Sara let you do it?  Great tasks await great men and women.

Howard

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From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Randy
Date: November 27, 2004 at 1:23:52 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Randy!!!!! No!!!!!! Don’t you dare think that! I felt I let you down by chickening out! You are precious and I did not mean to hurt you! I am so happy you are doing well.
I got mad at myself for not having the guts to follow through. Lots of reasons I backed off….NONE of them had anything to do with you.
Much love and respect
Callie

From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] LA Times ibogaine article breaks
Date: November 27, 2004 at 11:46:28 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

The long awaited LA Times article on ibogaine just appeared on their web page.

http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-ibogaine48nov28,0,
775349.story?coll=la-home-magazine

The Magical Mystery Tour
Drug and alcohol addicts are going abroad in search of the purported miracle
treatment called ibogaine. But will the drug industry embrace a substance that
causes a hallucinatory high?

Enjoy.

Howard

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah
Date: November 27, 2004 at 11:01:45 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H. My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself and what I consider normal now.
Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.<

This is EXACTLY what I was writing about earlier, the notes like this one Hannah. I can totally and completely empathize and am really heartily wishing you well, sending you strength and courage. You are how old please, if you don’t mind my asking? I think you mentioned it just the other day (23?- because I remember responding to someone noting that age here and think it mighta been you) but I’m not sure. Regardless, as bad as it seems now, it can get worse, and it can definitely get better. I’m sure you know that, irregardless of how awful it can seem when sitting there trying to get a vein (oh my god, I can remember doing what you’ve described here, but not only in the privacy of someone’s apartment or squat but also, more often than not actually, doing this exact same vein hunt in stairwells, allyways, parkbenches, behind garbage cans, cafe bathrooms, diner tables, etc, etc. I mean, there were times I’d have a great vein, usually a teeny one that I’d managed to find just the right angle to hit it with, making shooting up in public, at diner tables as mentioned (one of my very favorite places to shoot up used to be in very public places like diners, right at the table, as that gave me that extra adrenaline boost. Of course, it was often an interesting experience in that when speedballing, I’d feel the cocaine first, so would be sitting there first witht that roaring in my ears, then bugs all over me while trying to figure out which person in the diner was NOT a cop.
Boy oh boy, what fun that was!

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: Hannah Clay
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 6:56 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

I actually found a leaflet once at a rave that referred to people taking Prozac recreationally as a kind of weak MDMA (I’ll refer to it as X from now on).  Weird.  I’ve always found that ADs suppress the effects of X and I’ve been on a few.  Its a bummer.

I love going to raves but since I’ve been into H (the past 5yrs) (and I’m 23) I hardly go out at all.  Sean said something about isolation, well I live as a complete hermit at the moment and the more I don’t see people, the more I don’t want to see them.  Luckily I live with my boyf and we’re putting my partner in crime up at the moment so I have to see them!

Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!  I want to get going out again but I do find the come-downs hard without gear. I’m trying to get hold of some Valium just so I have something to just help me chill out.  I don’t like raves without X though cuz I don’t like the music without!  On X I love Techno.  I’m lucky cuz some of my friends are travellers and know lots of squatters down London and they always know where the best free parties are 🙂  I live in a little town where the clubs are all crap ‘towny’ straight places with cheesy music.

The X powder is lovely cuz it isn’t speedy, just warm loveliness but it isn’t always great for partying cuz you just wanna sit down.  Then we mix it with speed (!).  When I first discovered X when I was 17 I thought it was the greatest thing in the world-I just couldn’t stop smiling.  But the pills just don’t do the same anymore-I don’t know if the pills are crap now or if you just get a tolerance real quick.  Then again, even when I’m fucked I’ll still claim I’m straight and need more-I’m just never satisfied.

I just wish I’d never tried H and I’d be in a VERY different position now.

Last night I did this mornings hit thinking I’d just score as soon as I woke up today.  Instead I slept all day so woke up really sick.  I call my dealer and nothing for a couple of hours so total panic.  Luckily a friend came over and sorted me out.  But my veins are non-existent so then it takes hours to get myself.  I thought I’d got it first time but hit my artery so my right hand swelled up and I was in agony.  Luckily a couple of friends were around to help but they tried for 2hrs and couldn’t get me-I felt like a pin cushion, in my hands, arms, neck, fingers, feet 🙁  I had to muscle-bang it in the end.  And since I’ve been doing rock and gear the past week I hadn’t showered or anything so was embarrassingly grubby.  My veins just wouldn’t give up any blood!  None of the women in my family can give blood cuz they can’t get blood out of us so I really chose the wrong profession!  Anyway so I’m sat there just thinking what have I done to myself?  Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H. My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself and what I consider normal now.

Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.  I’ve got to sort myself out. I just can’t believe I keep doing this to myself.  Why do we keep doing this?  I’ve hit rockbottom I really have.  And the last couple of yrs I had improved, I’d cut down and started socialising but the past couple of months I’ve been out of control.  I’ve been going in my fingers and when I had to go to A&E for my abscess the Doc told me I could easily lose my hands if I kept doing this. I can’t believe I know that and keep doing it!  Its like that definition of insanity, I am insane.

But I’m gonna try (again) to be clean.  After I’ve just had one more hit….

Love to everyone, you’re my inspiration.
Hannah

PS: Sorry Julie I’ve gone well off-topic!  Hopefully I’ll have far more partying tales in a few weeks and none of this shit. 🙂

—– Original Message —– From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:37 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

Hannah,

you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
gay guys know how to party !!

I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
is!!

I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
refer to the last sentence of the previous
paragraph…

love Julie 🙂

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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 27, 2004 at 10:28:55 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jasen, If I had the cash I’d be right there with you. Someday soon. What have you got planned when you get back down under? I’d sure like to see Australia sometime. You being bored is a good sign. Life awaits you my friend. Kick it’s …. you know what I mean. Be ready, cause I found it hard sometimes because people I knew didn’t know how to take the clean and positive Randy. It is already better for me. The ones who matter think Ibogaine is a miracle. I’ve never gone this long without court pressure and the people who care about me are pretty much amazed. It takes a little while for them to get used to it. Remember, your the one who changed. Give them time to get used to it and don’t freak out like I did. You are most definitely the man now. Run with it. Peace and much love.     Randy

From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 27, 2004 at 10:15:27 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/27/04 6:03:11 AM, sara119@xs4all.nl writes:

Just fuc ing boring.

Hi Jasen,

I can share some thoughts that is all.  What is boring.  Go to the center of
boring and tell us what it is.  Then tell us what is not boring?  I might be
able to answer these questions but then they would be my answers.

Howard

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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s
Date: November 27, 2004 at 10:15:18 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jasen, it is sooo cool to see the Ibogaine in your writings. Before Ibogaine I used to read things like that and think “yea right.” Now I can read what you say and be right back there. Beautiful isn’t it? Your right about heroin. It’s just that the government and most people see that word ‘Heroin” and think it is the root of all evil. Methadone is the root of all evil. I’d say there is too much money involved to let them do the right thing. Our group is growing. Sooner or later we can’t be denied.        Randy

From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?
Date: November 27, 2004 at 10:14:27 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

thanks Hannah.
I’m ok, and working on feeling better. We’ll see how things go. It’s going to be much more expensive this time that it was last time I think, if I do end up having the privilege of an ibo experience again. I would like to have it sooner than later, so keep your fingers crossed please.

I was gonna post about my
situation but I won’t now-I don’t want to be accused of bringing others
down.<

Please don’t do that Hannah, that would not be cool at all, to let others’ opinions on what should and shouldn’t be posted, for whatever reason they feel that at whatever given moment. That’s something I appreciate from this list a lot, like I’m sure many (if not many here) get from -A meetings- the knowlege that I’m not the only one who goes through the bologna I put myself through, that others do it to themselves too and have for as long as people have been people as near as I can tell. But knowing this and being reminded of it every day are different things, and this list definitely reminds me each and every day that no matter how bad I think I’m feeling, there’s always going to be someone somewhere who knows exactly how I’m feeling and can commisserate or sympathize or empathize or tell me to soak my head…errr, no, that’s not it, who can help by simply writing a reply on this list.
So please, again, take your own words to heart and keep on posting what you will. As I’d be willing to bet you would anyway despite your noted hesitation.
;-))

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 3:41 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

Please keep posting Preston cuz I for one love your posts.  We’re not all in
the same situation as Paula-the great thing about this list is that there
are no rules on what you can and cant post!  I was gonna post about my
situation but I won’t now-I don’t want to be accused of bringing others
down.  I don’t know who Mickey Z?  I love both Burroughs work.  How are you
anyway?

Loads of love Hannah
—– Original Message —– From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 2:53 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

Hi there Paula and happy Thanksgiving right back attacha.
I don’t know who you are, never seen you post before, and I am really
irritated you bothered to post this reply to my post.
Who are you? Why are you bothering being a bitch to me personally?
What’s up with that?
So, you know what Paula? Please simply delete my messages from here on out
and put my email address in your “delete unread” folder so I don’t have to
worry about your bitchy, snotty, come outta nowhere replies.
Thanks kindly and have a great evening.
To the rest of you, peace and love, sincerely. I appreciate this list a
lot
and most of its participants- whom I consider for the most part my
compatriots and “companions” not to mention even a bit of a support group.
(And btw, do you even know who William S. Burroughs is Paula? How ’bout
Mickey Z.? Do you care? Or do you simply blurt out nastiness from
lurkerville at strangers on line for a hobby?) The lurkers who come outta
nowhere though, egad, what’s up with that personal animosity and
negativity?
Who is this person? Should I care?

Again, Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Paula” <paulab@shaw.ca>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:53 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

> You know what you really need to lighten up….please…if your > downward
> spiral into despair requires companions I don’t think the rest of us
want
> to
> go there…we are trying to come up not drive ourselves deeper…use
some
> brain cells next time assuming there are a few left
> Pleeeeaaassseee…Paula
> —– Original Message —–
> From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
> To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>; <drugwar@mindvox.com>
> Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:18 AM
> Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
>
>
>> Hi guys,
>>     A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just
>> sent
>> me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time >> idols
>> btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most
> positive,
>> happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on
>> anyway,
>> as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like >> it
> is,”
>> instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the
Bush
>> crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
>> Peace and love,
>> Preston
>>
>>
>> —– Original Message —–
>> From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
>> To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
>> Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer
>>
>>
>> “Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
>> destined to be shit out
>> through wholesome American guts.
>> Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
>> Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
>> Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
>> leaving the carcasses to rot.
>> Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
>> Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the
bare
>> lies shine through.
>> Thanks for the KKK.
>> For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
>> For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil
> faces.
>> Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
>> Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
>> Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
>> Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
>> Thanks for a nation of finks.
>> Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
>> You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
>> Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of
> human
>> dreams.”
>>
>> –William S. Burroughs (1988)
>>
>> (I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this
³prayer.²
> To
>> read it, please click here:
>> http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)
>>
>> And now for the bad news:
>> http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm
>>
>>
>> Peace and love,
>> Preston Peet
>>
>> “Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is
often
>> mistaken for madness”
>> Richard Davenport-Hines
>>
>> ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
>> Editor http://www.drugwar.com
>> Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
>> Cont. High Times mag/.com
>> Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
>> Columnist New York Waste
>> Etc.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] more on visions while ibo’d
Date: November 27, 2004 at 10:06:37 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

HI all,
I admit to a love of action movies, one that are high budget with lot of explosions and sci-fi spaceships and lasor fights and cool, unrealistic monsters (the psycho/slasher type flicks starring “monsters” who could be living right next door in real life- and other slasher/screamers too-  I HATE with a passion and won’t watch them ever), and spacetravel and adventure are my favorites.
With this in mind, I rented “The Chronicals of Riddick” yesterday, having been a “fan” of that bald guy, what’s his name, oh yeah, Vin Diesel, since playing his recent Riddick videogame (a great game btw, for those into videogames).
My jaw dropped when the opening 5 to 10 minutes of the movie played, more even, what with the attackers first destroying a planet, then the story moved on to the next threatened planet, with the citizens all discussing the forthcoming attack and potential death to all, including the whole durned universe.
Many of the actual scenes, not to mention the friggin’ plot itself, was right out of my first ibogaine voyage to the holodeck. The scenes of stars in space, multi-colored and ever so vast, totally jangled my ibo-nevers, setting off a distinct vibration as I watched the film, me feeling the ever so slight ibogaine buzz suddenly. This happens to me every so often, with films, and other things too, music and other sounds in particular, setting me off, both reminding me of certain feelings, sensations, and visions while on ibogaine and bringing forth a slight ibo vibration, a physical manifestation of the ibogaine experience. This is, as noted, very slight, but very real.
I just wanted to put that out there. That Chronicals flick totally was taken from one of my ibogaine visions. I mean it, it was startling just how similar the scenes playing (and the plot too as I’ve mentioned) were to what I saw and heared while traveling.
Have a great day all. I’d love to read some feedback on this.

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: November 27, 2004 at 10:01:24 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jasen,

How are you, kiddo???  It’s so great that you’re up
and around…how ya feelin’?  Day 12 is great- just to
let you know, it was around day 12-15 that I started
to come out of the thick of it.  I know time may seem
like it’s passing excruciatingly slow, but don’t
worry…the next thing you know, a whole month will
have passed, and you’ll be catching a train to Paris
or Barcelona.  If you hit Spain, make sure you check
out Gaudi’s architecture- it’ll blow your mind.

I second your idea about detoxing from heroin/short
acting opiate…methadone is a real heinous entity to
detox from- I mean, how can you truly feel better when
that shite lingers in your body for so long?  You’re
so lucky you have Sara to take care of you, as I
believe she really knows what she’s doing.  She has
given me a few excellent suggestions and healing
techniques.

Have you decided when you will venture out into the
world?  Europe is so lovely…if I were you, I would
head to the southern parts- there is nothing as awful
as shivering from the cold weather, when you are
‘shivering’ on the inside, if you know what I mean.

If you’re feeling really adventurous, why not venture
to somewhere exotic and gorgeous like Morocco?  You
can catch a ferry across the Gibraltar strait, and
boom- you’re in Northern Africa!!!  When I was in
Lisboa(which is also incredibly gorgeous), the only
thing keeping me from making the trek was my slim,
exhausted pocketbook…Do it Jasen, this is a perfect
time for you to travel…your mind is fresh,
unfettered, unencumbered by the haze of opiates..

Or how about Greece?  Filo pastry and flaming Ouzo
make for a lovely distraction…BTW, how much longer
are you planning to stay in Europe?  Do you have any
work deadlines?  When do you return to Aus?

My thoughts are with you on your journey.  The first
2-3 weeks are the hardest, but it DOES get better,
don’t worry.  Take care of your body and your mind…
And please drop me a line when you find the time….

love Julie 🙂

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail – Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath
Date: November 27, 2004 at 9:56:42 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Paula wrote >But maybe a few limericks in between the burrough’s just
as a kind guesture to the frail personality I inhabit<

LOL,
Ok, yer right Paula, that would have been a good idea I guess (although I might have put them after or before), adding some lighthearted limericks or at least adding something cheerful because for sure the two links that came with the depressing angry poem weren’t that cheerful either. That said, I think I would have felt weird changing anything the master…errr, I mean, that darned drugaddled Burroughs had written. I’m not worthy.
;-))
Seriously, I apologize for reacting angrily to your note. It’s something I “swore” I’d work on constantly when first comingout of Ibogaine, feeling strongly the notion that I am the one that controls my reactions and how I deal with the world…hmmm, as I write this I remember this.
So, it comes back to self-kicking when I realize I had been thinking and feeling this so strongly not so long ago and now find myself right back in the hole of “should I, shouldn’t I, can I shoot it now, should I wait, should, should I should i…..” (I must say I’m not nearly doing the rates and amounts I was previously, and I’m having an inner argument each and everytime I do it unlike the total focus on shooting I was in before ibogaine.) I confuse myself a lot of the time and am not always in firm control as much as I’d like to be. So I do allow myself to get angry and upset and to feel other unnesseary and draining emotions and response that I would rather I not do.
Peace.

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Paula” <paulab@shaw.ca>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 3:27 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath

Thank you I’m not a lurker, I see you in my mind’s eye as a eurdite not sure
of the spelling there in a smoking jacket, dark hair, cravat, opium
pipe,fireplace, old fashion-typewriter kind of guy. the raven from edgar
allen poe…anyway did’nt mean to upset you but just the end of my week with
people that put themselves above the needs of my clients…and the first few
lines triggered a response that was more for the work I do than for your
post I apologize….But maybe a few limericks in between the burrough’s just
as a kind guesture to the frail personality I inhabit….Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 7:56 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath

Thanks Rachel,
Yes, I did miss her (the friendly and supportive Paula) introducing
herself to the list here.
I didn’t miss her extra-unfriendly and unsupportive note of yesterday
though, and as I had apparently missed her previous post(s) I did think
her
a lurker (but now see she’s a drinker, and from my own personal experience
find many -not all- drinkers the least friendly people I know, at least
when
they are “problem” drinkers, so perhaps I can put her oh-so friendly and
supportive response to my Burroughs note down to that). Thanks kindly for
setting me straight.
I wasn’t on a “tear” nor have I been on a “tear” in quite some time.
My
use patterns don’t involve “tears” (well, depending on how one prounounces
that word, as I do at time, more often than I care to, experience awfully
wet tears) or at the least haven’t involved “tears” as I myself would use
the term for almost 8 years now. I may very well have been “oblivious” but
when dealing with hundreds of emails every single day (no exaggeration
whatsoever), seeing as my “job” entails my being online all day every day
reading emails and other stuff too, I do occasionally miss a missive here
and there, so I apologize to you and to Paula for mislabling her a
“lurker.”
How about “new subscriber” or “new member of the ibogaine list” or “just
arrived recently to this list and doesn’t know me or many people here at
all
so far as I know so attacking me for posting a fairly normal, regular,
uncontroversial note considering the usual fare here is unusual and took
me
aback.” Does that fit better Rachel?
I also sincerely wish Paula luck and good vibes in her travails with
that nurse putting off her ibogaine treatment. But now I’m really
confused-
was Paula giving us a happy tale, or what? I mean, was her report about
the
ibogaine postponement somehow a happy, positive note, along with that
“depressing” 12-step relapse meeting mention?
I understand that people, myself included, can sometimes fly off the
handle and write really mean notes to strangers online, it being very easy
for some to do so what with the anonymity inherent in emailing others (and
for others who are simply mean people at heart), but I didn’t appreciate
her
little missive to me at all, and found myself really hurt by the
surprising
attack on me from someone I still consider a stranger. Why I let it hurt
me
so much I don’t know- perhaps I was simply tired and sore and in pain and
not at my best.
And now I feel really bad, in that I’ve now searched and found other
notes from Paula (a grand total of 4), and am very surprised and more
hurt,
in that she posted that really cool (and totally off-topic note- two out
of
4 posts are off topic? LOL! That’s helpful in my own quest for a better
life
and happier times) note the other day about the Nuclear Kittens needing
homes, the note I sent out to family and friends and fellow cat lovers all
over the world (having 9 of the little rescued beasties sharing our teeny
LES apartment here- so yes, that post was certainly helpful in my own
personal quest towards happiness and joy), and laughed very hard at when
first seeing. I had a real soft spot for the person that sent that,
automatically feeling real kinship towards anyone who posts positive or
funny notes about cats, but not knowing it was Paula who has done so, it
didn’t color my reaction to her nasty note of yesterday, and now that I
know
it’s the same person, I’m really bummed out that someone I actually had
been
thinking loving, friendly thoughts towards until yesterday has now totally
changed the impression I had of her, with just . Out of the four notes
she’s
so far posted that I can find in my box, one was a gripe about how
miserable
she is, one was an attack note towards me, one was that very funny and
appreciated kittens note previously mentioned, and now the “what the
bleep”
advert in which she makes some crack about brain cells. So as near as I
can
tell, to Paula it’s Paula who is important and the rest (well, that’s not
really true, it’s so far just me as near as I can tell) who have the gall
to
post something not so positive can take a hike, or something. I think it
very funny that two of her four notes to the ibogaine list so far posted,
replying directly to my own posts, have contained cracks about thinking
(one
directly and one obliquely) at me, a guy who uses his braincells for a
living. What is up with that?
I’m not that impressed at all.
But I do still wish her, very sincerely as hard as it might be for me
to
do so at the moment as irritated as I’ve let myself get over her notes and
attitude towards me personally, positive thoughts, best of luck in kicking
that alcohol habit, finding a room or help that won’t bum her out and will
give her the positive vibes she apparantly desperately needs, and genuine
love of the most friendly sort. Why she felt (and apparently still feels)
the need to attack me personally perhaps she’ll say, but it appears she
isn’t going to, but rather will make more cracks and snips at me instead
of
writing, “hey, you know what, I was feeling irritable so I lashed out and
I
apologize Preston,” or something along those lines. Instead she’s changing
the subject with a totally off-topic advertisment and continuing in her
unfriendly tone towards me.
Ahh, why am I bothering wasting my time and energy with this? Why do I
care what Paula thinks? I don’t actually, at least not much, but don’t
enjoy
meaness or hatred or anger either, so would like to resolve this little
disagreement and move on.
BTW, how is Jeff doing? I have been and still am sending him strong
thoughts and vibes, knowing how hard his current situation can be and
feeling for him all the way. He is to be commended and honored for taking
this step and deserves all the kudos he can take for having done this.
That
goes for you as well Rachel, in that anyone who stands by their loved one
through thick and thin, despite what we’re told we’re to feel about
druggies
and addicts by the mainstream prohibitionist types, is honorable and
beautiful and has my respect.

Peace and love to all,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Rachel Radhakrishna” <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 1:31 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] deep breath

> Paula is not a lurker.  Maybe you were on a tear and
> oblivous when she introduced us to her dilemma out in
> western Canada and the nurse who keeps putting off her
> ibo treatment, or the depressing 12-step group of
> relapsers.  But she is not coming out of nowhere.
>
>
>
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Mail – Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
> http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail
>
>
>
>
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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: [Ibogaine] video games!
Date: November 27, 2004 at 7:24:25 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Oo oo I hear a whisper of video/pc gamers??
Well, will need something to counter the insomnia next week… what’s some good PC/PS2 games? My daughter has the latest grand theft auto but I’m an oldy, more into the Doom type games, and spewing cos I can’t afford Doom III, which looks awesome!!
Anyways, if you got any suggestions
Cheeeahhhhs
Kirk
From: Capt Kirk [mailto:captkirk@free.net.nz] 
Sent: Sunday, 28 November 2004 1:21 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s

I’m wondering then about switching to poppy seed a week or two before Iboga…..although that still leaves the question of pesticides. Cannot get heroin here, the most pure form would be opium from the plant itself…..but we turn that with AA……..
What would you others think would be the most natural substance to use before the Iboga experience?
(minus the 24-48 hour without)
Thanks!
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Saturday, 27 November 2004 11:40 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s

Hey guys,
I am still very exausted,it is day 12.
I now understand why when this Eboga is done,people don’t write much. They simply don’t have the energy.
Eboga seems to fine tune the body,to allow the body to vibrate to the same frequency as the Natural medicine,
Being Eboga.

I have been reborn,I am now all man. The eboga saves lost souls(addicted bodies) whethter the addiction is smoking,alchohol,
Drugs. Julie I miss you, we have a heartfelt connection.

Preston,for some reason,I am missing you and your misses,also Sean,and Randy.

I am so spritualy exausted.

I suggest to any one that can to go from heroin to eboga. Methadone is to much on the body,
It causes blockages in energy which in return makes you sick,Methadone is NOT natural. Heroin is.
To save the tortured souls,our souls,we need to put people on a heroin program then to eboga.

This has been 23 years for me,since I was 15,I am now 38.

Please write to me forward Sara ‘s email (TO JASEN).

I am so fuc ing bored. Julie write to me I need company,address to Sara’s.

Eboga causes you to withdraw on four plains(on four frequencies that tunes into our god self.
God save the world.

The relevations have become,rise up and claim whats yours.

You are puuuuure love you are of god.
Smiling still,Jasen.

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s
Date: November 27, 2004 at 7:20:37 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I’m wondering then about switching to poppy seed a week or two before Iboga…..although that still leaves the question of pesticides. Cannot get heroin here, the most pure form would be opium from the plant itself…..but we turn that with AA……..
What would you others think would be the most natural substance to use before the Iboga experience?
(minus the 24-48 hour without)
Thanks!
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Saturday, 27 November 2004 11:40 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s

Hey guys,
I am still very exausted,it is day 12.
I now understand why when this Eboga is done,people don’t write much. They simply don’t have the energy.
Eboga seems to fine tune the body,to allow the body to vibrate to the same frequency as the Natural medicine,
Being Eboga.

I have been reborn,I am now all man. The eboga saves lost souls(addicted bodies) whethter the addiction is smoking,alchohol,
Drugs. Julie I miss you, we have a heartfelt connection.

Preston,for some reason,I am missing you and your misses,also Sean,and Randy.

I am so spritualy exausted.

I suggest to any one that can to go from heroin to eboga. Methadone is to much on the body,
It causes blockages in energy which in return makes you sick,Methadone is NOT natural. Heroin is.
To save the tortured souls,our souls,we need to put people on a heroin program then to eboga.

This has been 23 years for me,since I was 15,I am now 38.

Please write to me forward Sara ‘s email (TO JASEN).

I am so fuc ing bored. Julie write to me I need company,address to Sara’s.

Eboga causes you to withdraw on four plains(on four frequencies that tunes into our god self.
God save the world.

The relevations have become,rise up and claim whats yours.

You are puuuuure love you are of god.
Smiling still,Jasen.

—
Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Kirsty
Date: November 27, 2004 at 7:19:25 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I  am very much in my element here, specially when it comes to my “humour” being misunderstood. I was raised on a sheep farm, I’ve heard all dem jokes!
Once someone starts dictating what should be on a list, then it becomes “their” version of decency and not anyone elses, hmmm sounds something we’ve been fighting all our lives!!!  So far I like this list just the way it is……humour, good times, hard times, man that’s life!!
I read this in a book the other day and had a good ole chuckle:-
So, to all you philosophers out there:-
REALITY NEVER READ PHILOSOPHY!!!!!!
Keep it comin’ folks
It’s all good, bad and ugly.
(everyones ugly in real life, take a look inside anyones nostril)
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com] 
Sent: Saturday, 27 November 2004 10:55 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Kirsty

Kirsty, grass skirts and dirt huts? Man that sounds good. I know your kidding but everyone down south in the states goes barefoot and has a straw in their mouth and we won’t talk about the sheep. That is a joke. Sometimes I get misunderstood. Anyway, as they say in the rooms “we need em all”. Words of wisdom or reminders of what not to do we need them all. From now on I will think of the penguins Preston sent to us and try and refrain from verbal barbs. We ought to ask Patrick what he thinks ought to be on the list. I think I already know. He’s as twisted as most of here and I love him for it. O MY GOD. Help, I’m a Patrick groupie. I won’t screw him but I will twist up a fat one and hold a gun to his head and make him smoke it. Blueberry. I joke but what the hell, we all could use a laugh every once in a while. This list has been my saving grace. I think that is what Patrick has in mind. For me and you and everyone else who stumbles upon it.     Randy

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From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 27, 2004 at 7:15:16 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi,

Interesting topic and important in a healing context.

For me the problem with MDMA is that it opens up the heart regardless of the state of the persons inner world.

I did 3 intense MDMA journeys as part of a healing program and after the last I began to have severe depression which has now well and truely passed. It passed after I went into the details of my specific early life abuse experiences via eboga. I believe what happened is this.

I had spent a lifetime sitting on my inner history of trauma and abuse. Then I had an amazing eboga experience. Then I had the sessions with MDMA. I think, unlike eboga, MDMA indiscriminately opens us up. I think the eboga had begun to unravel me and whatever state of healing I was in (after the eboga), the MDMA cut right though me to connect with my inner self in ways I was not yet ready for (perhaps – I see it all as part of the journey now – luckily eboga was there to complete the work! I can never properly express the depth of gratitude and respect and love I have for eboga.). After, in this opened state and without the same set of defenses as before, I believe I was thrown into deep depression as I was not yet ready for the truth of what happened (and had to block it out along with the emerging pain) and at the same time I had lost my carefully constructed defenses built over a lifetime. Not to mention the depletion of serotonin in the initial stages of withdrawal from the MDMA.

Personally I caution against the use of any synthetic. I am not a big synthetic drug fan. I am however an ardent believer and user of eboga as a sacrament. It has passed the test of time (& the test of my own experience). Synthetics have not.

Yet I received incredible healing on MDMA and so believe its for the person to decide but one should be aware of its potential effects. Its certainly not good to take it repeatedly as the posts have indicated. However, judicious use with a time interval of no less than 3 months, can have minimal physical harm (I understand). It takes 3 months for the serotonin levels to return to normal from what I have read.

Similarly I am not a great fan of DMT from what I have read as I think its a shortcut to spiritual dimensions best reserved for those whose souls have been prepared for the experience. Otherwise the combination of ones own inner demons coupled with the doors which are been opened can lead to serious problems afterwards imo.

The idea that one can experience spiritual bliss without being prepared and without paying the piper is a dangerous one and one reason why many LSD heads ended up fu&/ed as they opened doors beyond their ability to close or to integrate.

Just a few thoughts….

Lee

Hannah Clay <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com> wrote:
Shit that was what I meant to say-I think it contributed to my depression and if I could change my past I wouldn’t have ever taken it due to the problems I have with depression now.  That said, I was on Antidepressants before I ever took E.  Or like Julie said I should have been careful and not taken the ridiculous amounts I did!  I wanted it cuz it made me feel so happy and that was alien to me.  Now I suffer and it could be cuz of it-now its making me sad?  Catch 22
—– Original Message —–
From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 10:14 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?

Tolerance to MDMA occurs very rapidly. The need to take more to achieve the same effect.

Taking X daily produces a mild speed effect without any of the pleasant tactile stuff the occasional X user may feel.

Chronic use of X may cause permanent depression by burning out the post synaptic seretonin receptor and/or the serotonin transporter.

I have seen several people who took X every day and they are fried for life. Years after they stopped, they appear to have no emotions. They look like early Parkinson patients.

like most drugs and like the golden rule of life… Moderation. A little can be a pleasant learning experience. A lot can take you to hell and in this case, leave you there.

PET scans of chronic X users (more then 300 dosages) show permanent brain damage similar to methamphetamine users.

http://www.my-eboga.com

Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Moving house? Beach bar in Thailand? New Wardrobe? Win £10k with Yahoo! Mail to make your dream a reality.

From: knowone knowwhere <kn0m0n3@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 27, 2004 at 6:17:04 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

: )when I’m really, really bored…I spin around in
circles with friends and kids and play drums loudly
and stomp feet : )  Good to see you writing on the
other side.  -J
— Sara Glatt <sara119@xs4all.nl> wrote:
THANKS randy.
I AM SOOO BORED,CANYOU GUYS COME OVER.
You are right about aftercare,there is a lot of work
to be done to heal the
world.
I realised something being over the other side of
the world,your vibratioal
frequencies tune into
Different parts of the world depending on where you
are born,which port hole
on earth through your mothers womb,life without
end,..a spiral,no beginning
and no end
So when you live away from where you were born,it
can feel as if everything
is twice as hard.Like you are going against the
grain..

IT MAY BE THE ONLY WAY HOWEVER IN CAN BE DONE IN A
MUCH BIGGER AND
BETTERWAY,IF GREED MOVED OVER A TRIFLE.
Sara’S is very affordable. Just fuc ing boring.
SORRY sara,I do love you and
you are a princess,the bwiti princess,her vibes hide
her princess
appearances as others see her,but I KNOW BECAUSE I
saw,SARA IS THE bwiti
PRINCESS.

Eboga must be taken naturally,to be effective on
every plain,to work on
every frequency the body neads to heal.WE ARE 4
DIMENSIOAL BEINGS and need
healing on all freqences. Science and Natural
medicine must work together.
Love you all Jasen.
_____

Van: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
[mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com]
Verzonden: maandag 22 november 2004 12:32
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Jasen you freakin’  ROCKKK. See. It’s the only way,
huh. Tell us more when
you can. How long are you going to be there? I’d
stay as long as I could if
I were you. Everybody was right about aftercare. It
sure makes me feel
better about everything.     Randy

___________________________________________________________
ALL-NEW Yahoo! Messenger – all new features – even more fun! http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com

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From: knowone knowwhere <kn0m0n3@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: [Ibogaine] visions
Date: November 27, 2004 at 6:03:22 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

visions have Anyone else ??

—  <thethird@myway.com> wrote:
Anyone else have visions
similar and any ideas that you get from them?

I did Ibogaine about a year and a
half ago. I had a big trip w/ lots of visuals,

<^> inspiring ones first
(i.e. this is what the world is
really about, now stop shooting dope and become one
with the world),
: ) <cherry flavored mind pops> : )
and then the fun house madness hit
(or madhouse fun) which was mixed with apathetic
speedy visions of humans doing all their worst
traits.
What didya see?

I went from shooting smack daily to being
totally clean for a month or two. But I still had
some crRav3nGgs and kidz knew that if I didn’t do
something
I’d be shooting up again and agin and agn.

Their is that something/ That ‘if I don’t do
something’ something.

I wanted to go on suboxone
(buprenorphine/naloxone mix) but the closest clinic
had a doctor that was almost but not quite
certified. So I went on methadone for a few months
at a low dose of 35 Mg’s, and then switched to
suboxone once the doc was certified, which I’ve been
on for over a year.

What dose?   Was the switch difficult?

At times I feel I failed because
I didn’t totally rewrite my addictive tendencies
after Ibogaine,

itz still better then nothing.  Their may or may not
be shades of gray between ‘failed’ and ‘success’.  I
personally don’t think you have failed, but I’m a
crazy person who’s current form of avoidance is the
on’line version of ‘hugging a stranger’.  But no, I
don’t think you have failed. (place product
advertisement here)

even though it brought about a major
change and helped me get to a life that could
actually be called a life.
it brought about a major
change and helped me get to a life that could
actually be called a life.  helped me get to a life

what made it life?   may not be as out of reach as
appears

I have panic attacks and
the suboxone helps with those, and the panic attacks
get worse
when
I am in
situations
where

I have to

speak
in front of a crowd.

That’s about as normal as you can get.  Non-judgmental
people are out in audience too.  They’re like rooting
you on and stuff.  They are ‘on stage’ with you, they
just don’t realize it.  “All the world is a stage” and
all that.
Panic attacks are yucky, they are one of the main
reasons I started Heroin in the first place.  Did you
have them before ibo too?  It takes some work, like
working out I guess but what I try to do in response
to that is work on learning how to rest during rest
time (relax time/let go time or whatever)_or… when
fear over takes logic, deep breaths can be nice, not
in a ‘oh g-d oh g-d I’ve got to breathe deep, I’m
having a panic attack’ way, but in a “At least SOME of
that which is beyond my 5 senses ISN’T out to get me.”
way. Almost to the point that G-d loves me or hates
me, before I realize that G-d has a few more important
matters to deal with, Why else wouldn’t s/he post?

—>   When I am going to school   <—
*that is a good thing

is when I have the worst bouts of panic attacks, and
I am getting ready to go back and finish my degree,

Give yourself some credit following through with that.
what are you getting your degree in?

so I think suboxone will help with that,

oh, I thought you were already on it.

but I don’t believe I want to be on it for life.

: )Going to live in the moment forever: )

So I am
thinking about how I should come off the suboxone.

<Paging Dr. Lotsof>

I’m interested in hearing anyone’s adventures with
doing follow-up Ibogaine treatments.

I had a intense dark hcl dose then a smaller extract
few months after to help grow out of the fear from the
previous, it helped.  I had plenty of benzo’s ready if
I needed them (I didn’t, but just knowing they were
there if needed made me feel more at ease), small
dose, no “dream”.

My first trip
was so intense that I don’t know if I could convince
myself to do it again, but I am definitely thinking
about it. Also, it’s been over a year since my first
trip and I find myself forgetting some of it.

Yeah I’m “quick to forget” too
<play sound of bong bubbles>

Does
anybody have a way to help remember the trip?

(refer to previous sound)

Another thing I wondered about was the
visuals/feelings in other people’s trips.

me too.

I know a
lot of people see the spiritual good stuff about why
we should stop doing drugs and start our life, but
how many of you guys saw bad aspects of humanity?

The two were connected.

I saw a small part of reality.  The story is still
being written, until…  But it can still be a life.
But yeah, life is perishable “unless it’s not”.

I
saw

people doing the
basest animalistic things,

Damn it!! everyone went to New Orl but me : )

things that when an
animal does them,

don’t seem as bad,

but because the
humans have the capability for higher emotions the
scenes were devastating.

Please, do tell…you really have me curious,
hmmm….where did I put that machine.

Also, the bad feeling I got
watching these visions was much worse than if I
wasn’t hallucinating.

Your right they do seem to have a bigger effect seeing
things that way, but I think seeing those things is an
opportunity to motivate to do our part to try to help
balance it out a little.

It’s like the sad feeling I
would get if I really saw some of that stuff happen
was highly amplified.
sometimes Avoidance=battery charger

Anyone else have visions
similar and any ideas that you get from them?

and any ideas that you get from them?
Sorry
about all the Pretty questions.? Pretty nosy for a
question!

I am just very interested in Ibogaine and

am excited
to find a place with people who like to talk about
it!
: ) me too.
—————————————

Jasen, A white candle burning now in Dallas for
wellness for you and all receiving this

Sean,   I think Less harm is good.

Callie,  : ) I don’t see anything wrong with it
either.

Randy, I think Bill W would have liked ibo.  But can’t
chat ’bout that, too busy drilling oil w/ JR and dem.
Drilling oil and Political redistricting, that’s all
we do round these parts…now lets go to the library
and rent us some movies.: )

Schoolboy, sincere thank you for the good info, it is
very much appreciated.

Lee,   You are very much an Amazing person who
deserves Grace.  You and ALL have my respect.

Oh and Re: Thanksgiving,
last year I was digesting an ibo session in jail with
leftover ‘done withdrawals.
This Thanksgiving, before going to a wonderful meal
enjoyed by family including two new baby’s, I started
the day with our sacred circle jerk and found
Preston’s post (that made me laugh out loud as I
hadn’t read that WSB [or heard it] in so long) was one
of many totally fucking awesome posts that morning
(not to say they aren’t always totally awesome
but…well yeah, I’m saying that.  I thought it was a
GREAT way to start off the day…but to each their own
I guess.  Now where did I put that machine? and what
the fuck did you do with my script pad?

_______________________________________________
kNow kidding.
Make home >  -11

___________________________________________________________
Win a castle for NYE with your mates and Yahoo! Messenger
http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com

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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.
Date: November 27, 2004 at 5:57:33 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

THANKS randy.
I AM SOOO BORED,CANYOU GUYS COME OVER.
You are right about aftercare,there is a lot of work to be done to heal the world.
I realised something being over the other side of the world,your vibratioal frequencies tune into
Different parts of the world depending on where you are born,which port hole on earth through your mothers womb,life without end,..a spiral,no beginning and no end
So when you live away from where you were born,it can feel as if everything is twice as hard.Like you are going against the grain..

IT MAY BE THE ONLY WAY HOWEVER IN CAN BE DONE IN A MUCH BIGGER AND BETTERWAY,IF GREED MOVED OVER A TRIFLE.
Sara’S is very affordable. Just fuc ing boring. SORRY sara,I do love you and you are a princess,the bwiti princess,her vibes hide her princess appearances as others see her,but I KNOW BECAUSE I saw,SARA IS THE bwiti PRINCESS.

Eboga must be taken naturally,to be effective on every plain,to work on every frequency the body neads to heal.WE ARE 4 DIMENSIOAL BEINGS and need healing on all freqences. Science and Natural medicine must work together.
Love you all Jasen.

Van: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com] 
Verzonden: maandag 22 november 2004 12:32
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine] Re;JASEN AT SARA’S PLACE.

Jasen you freakin’  ROCKKK. See. It’s the only way, huh. Tell us more when you can. How long are you going to be there? I’d stay as long as I could if I were you. Everybody was right about aftercare. It sure makes me feel better about everything.     Randy

From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s
Date: November 27, 2004 at 5:39:43 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey guys,
I am still very exausted,it is day 12.
I now understand why when this Eboga is done,people don’t write much. They simply don’t have the energy.
Eboga seems to fine tune the body,to allow the body to vibrate to the same frequency as the Natural medicine,
Being Eboga.

I have been reborn,I am now all man. The eboga saves lost souls(addicted bodies) whethter the addiction is smoking,alchohol,
Drugs. Julie I miss you, we have a heartfelt connection.

Preston,for some reason,I am missing you and your misses,also Sean,and Randy.

I am so spritualy exausted.

I suggest to any one that can to go from heroin to eboga. Methadone is to much on the body,
It causes blockages in energy which in return makes you sick,Methadone is NOT natural. Heroin is.
To save the tortured souls,our souls,we need to put people on a heroin program then to eboga.

This has been 23 years for me,since I was 15,I am now 38.

Please write to me forward Sara ‘s email (TO JASEN).

I am so fuc ing bored. Julie write to me I need company,address to Sara’s.

Eboga causes you to withdraw on four plains(on four frequencies that tunes into our god self.
God save the world.

The relevations have become,rise up and claim whats yours.

You are puuuuure love you are of god.
Smiling still,Jasen.

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Kirsty
Date: November 27, 2004 at 4:54:33 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Kirsty, grass skirts and dirt huts? Man that sounds good. I know your kidding but everyone down south in the states goes barefoot and has a straw in their mouth and we won’t talk about the sheep. That is a joke. Sometimes I get misunderstood. Anyway, as they say in the rooms “we need em all”. Words of wisdom or reminders of what not to do we need them all. From now on I will think of the penguins Preston sent to us and try and refrain from verbal barbs. We ought to ask Patrick what he thinks ought to be on the list. I think I already know. He’s as twisted as most of here and I love him for it. O MY GOD. Help, I’m a Patrick groupie. I won’t screw him but I will twist up a fat one and hold a gun to his head and make him smoke it. Blueberry. I joke but what the hell, we all could use a laugh every once in a while. This list has been my saving grace. I think that is what Patrick has in mind. For me and you and everyone else who stumbles upon it.     Randy

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 27, 2004 at 4:16:59 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Ron, listen to Eric. I know for a fact he is way versed on this. He made me feel a lot better before I did the Ibogaine and he was dead on with his information. Just about every major person in the Ibogaine world is talking to you. Listen to them. They got me the recovery that I have. It won’t be easy but you can do it. Ibogaine providers really care about people. Their souls included and I think all of the other modes of rehab forget about that. Except for 12 step programs which I highly recommend post Ibogaine. Just don’t talk about Ibogaine to a room full of old timer alcoholics. Although I think Bill W. would have loved this. It seems like it is almost time to make a move. I’m here for ya, drop me a line if I pissed you off. I really didn’t mean to.                   Randy

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Hanna
Date: November 27, 2004 at 3:57:57 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hanna, I don’t know you but I read what you post and fantasize about being in England. I was reading what you said about trying to find a vein and it hurt me. Brought tears to my eyes. Your 23 and I’m 47 and I have to tell you that it doesn’t get any better. I first shot heroin on my 16th birthday and fell immediately in love with it. I have shot every drug I could find that I thought might remotely be like heroin and screwed my veins up in the process. I have to tell the nurses where to get blood or do it myself. Have you tried Ibogaine? I can’t remember if you said you have or not. Nothing else has stopped me for this long before. It changed my way of thinking. Your young and you sound like a beautiful person. Let me lay a little Nashville on ya. “Please don’t do the things I done”. “Don’t go out on another long run”. Can I write a song about you? I won’t use your name. I’m trying to complete a whole album of Ibogaine/recovery/addiction songs. I’ve almost got all the songs I need, but a story like yours has to told. I want it to have a happy ending. Please make it that way so I don’t have to feel bad every time I play it. You have moved me and inspired me to write.   Randy

From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?
Date: November 27, 2004 at 1:59:42 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Heyyyy, if I Pole jump on my, um Moa (for those who don’t know, the Moa is a
New Zealand extinct ostrich type bird wot couldn’t fly..couldn’t run fast
enough either apparently……)we could meet up for a get together and grunt
mono syllables at each other.
I already like the people here, I don’t know anyone here really, so it’s
nice to have some company, and I’m glad to have found a chatty bunch!
Aroha (love) to all
Kirk

—–Original Message—–
From: Ms Iboga [mailto:ms_iboga@yahoo.com]
Sent: Saturday, 27 November 2004 3:56 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

LOL, Kirsty, We Canadians live in igloos and travel to
work by dogsled….EH!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to the list…there are many cool folks here,
a  conclusion which I’m sure you’ll arrive at in no
time….

cheers,
Julie

— Capt Kirk <captkirk@free.net.nz> wrote:

I’m not sure I understand what’s going on, but this
is an Ibogaine list, and
thus has Drug addicts writing on it, and double THUS
it aint all going to be
sweetness and light….which is great as far as I’m
concerned….variety is
the spice of LIFE!!!  Read what tickles ya wotsits
and what ya don’t like,
don’t read!! Is it not that simple???
Yool hafta excuse me, I’m jest a simple gal from
down under, we still wear
grass skirts and live in dirt huts!!!!
Keep it real kids
Kirsty

—–Original Message—–
From: Hannah Clay [mailto:hannah.clay@ntlworld.com]
Sent: Saturday, 27 November 2004 9:42 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

Please keep posting Preston cuz I for one love your
posts.  We’re not all in
the same situation as Paula-the great thing about
this list is that there
are no rules on what you can and cant post!  I was
gonna post about my
situation but I won’t now-I don’t want to be accused
of bringing others
down.  I don’t know who Mickey Z?  I love both
Burroughs work.  How are you
anyway?

Loads of love Hannah
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 2:53 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

Hi there Paula and happy Thanksgiving right back
attacha.
I don’t know who you are, never seen you post
before, and I am really
irritated you bothered to post this reply to my
post.
Who are you? Why are you bothering being a
bitch to me personally?
What’s up with that?
So, you know what Paula? Please simply delete my
messages from here on out
and put my email address in your “delete unread”
folder so I don’t have to
worry about your bitchy, snotty, come outta
nowhere replies.
Thanks kindly and have a great evening.
To the rest of you, peace and love, sincerely. I
appreciate this list a
lot
and most of its participants- whom I consider for
the most part my
compatriots and “companions” not to mention even a
bit of a support group.
(And btw, do you even know who William S.
Burroughs is Paula? How ’bout
Mickey Z.? Do you care? Or do you simply blurt out
nastiness from
lurkerville at strangers on line for a hobby?) The
lurkers who come outta
nowhere though, egad, what’s up with that personal
animosity and
negativity?
Who is this person? Should I care?

Again, Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for
enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation
Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Paula” <paulab@shaw.ca>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:53 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’
thanksgiving/links

You know what you really need to lighten
up….please…if your downward
spiral into despair requires companions I don’t
think the rest of us
want
to
go there…we are trying to come up not drive
ourselves deeper…use
some
brain cells next time assuming there are a few
left
Pleeeeaaassseee…Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>;
<drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:18 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’
thanksgiving/links

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The
Seven Deadly Sins) just
sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is
one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it.
This isn’t the most
positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving,
but I’m passing it on
anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest
example of “telling it like it
is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by
our Boob tubes and the
Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger
pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of
challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and
to falsify until the
bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their
notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean,
pinched, bitter, evil
faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against
drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to
mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right,
let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were
a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of
the last and greatest of
human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that
incorporated this
3prayer.2
To
read it, please click here:

http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

=== message truncated ===

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From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah
Date: November 27, 2004 at 1:09:03 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/26/2004 5:53:05 PM Central Standard Time, hannah.clay@ntlworld.com writes:
Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!

Good luck to you Hannah and I will say a little prayer for you and add you to my mental prayer list.
Keep reminding yourself that you may have to deal with a little discomfort, physical and mental. I just hate mental discomfort! lol! Guess all of us opiate addicts hate it or we wouldn’t be addicted.
I have never tried Subutex. I am a Methadone Maintenance lifer I guess. I have finally decided that it is okay to be a lifer as long as it does not start being a problem.
Anyway…..back to you. I really hope you the best! If I were you I would start walking for exercise tomorrow too. Make it part of your Subutex treatment. Walking helps me a LOT! It is the only ‘exercise’ I do but it is very helpful with my depressions and lack of energy.
Keep us posted. This list is great support. Some awesome folk that reply!
Peace and Starry nights,
Callie

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 23:40:47 -0000 Issue 802
Date: November 26, 2004 at 11:09:25 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

same story
—– Original Message —– From: <ibogaine-digest-help@mindvox.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 5:40 PM
Subject: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 23:40:47 -0000 Issue 802

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801
Date: November 26, 2004 at 11:08:52 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

no program to open
—– Original Message —– From: <ibogaine-digest-help@mindvox.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 10:06 AM
Subject: ibogaine Digest 26 Nov 2004 16:06:40 -0000 Issue 801

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 11:06:44 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

thanks for the info, ron
—– Original Message —–
From: IBEGINAGAIN@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 6:02 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Howard,
What i’ve heard from the few people who have come for treatment who have been doing klonapin as their primary benzo is that compared to the other benzos, klonapin didn’t give the same “kick” as the others and this may be why they were using so much more of it which may be the reason why it was more challenging to detox off during a week to ten days time.  Nowadays, and for the past few years, i keep people for several days, from seven to ten days if coming to detox from methadone.  A couple of people detoxed off of everything, cross addicted to methadone, heroin and different type of benzos, etc., and the  only drug which lingered was about half of the klonopin.  The other factor may be that my psychiatrist/shaman friend Bob believes klonopin may metabolise differently than valium and the other benzos.
I think Sara is set up to care for people for a longer time and Ron would do well to pay her and her cute and wonderful kids ( hi to you and your crew, Sara ), a visit.  I’d say, you can’t go wrong Ron..
Time for some pumkin pie,
Eric
From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.
Date: November 26, 2004 at 10:52:22 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

i agree, ron
—– Original Message —–
From: Capt Kirk
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 7:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.
It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.
I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.
Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.
All the best to you and yours
Kia Kaha (stay strong)
Kirsty
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME
Jasen.

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 10:41:51 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

he has my respect, rwd
—– Original Message —–
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 3:13 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Listen to Schmoolyboy Ron, he knows.         Randy

From: “” <thethird@myway.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] a few questions
Date: November 26, 2004 at 10:08:40 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I did Iboaine about a year and a half ago. I had a big trip w/ lots of visuals, inspiring ones first (i.e. this is what the world is really about, now stop shooting dope and become one with the world), and then the fun house madness hit (or madhouse fun) which was mixed with apathetic speedy visions of humans doing all their worst traits. I went from shooting smack daily to being totally clean for a month or two. But I still had some cravings and knew that if I didn’t do something I’d be shooting up again. I wanted to go on suboxone (buprenorphine/naloxone mix) but the closest clinic had a doctor that was almost but not quite certified. So I went on methadone for a few months at a low dose of 35 Mg’s, and then switched to suboxone once the doc was certified, which I’ve been on for over a year. At times I feel I failed because I didn’t totally rewrite my addictive tendencies after Ibogaine, even though it brought about a major change and helped me get to a life that could actually be called a life. I have panic attacks and the suboxone helps with those, and the panic attacks get worse when I am in situations where I have to speak in front of a crowd. When I am going to school is when I have the worst bouts of panic attacks, and I am getting ready to go back and finish my degree, so I think suboxone will help with that, but I don’t believe I want to be on it for life. So I am thinking about how I should come off the suboxone. I’m interested in hearing anyone’s adventures with doing follow-up Ibogaine treatments. My first trip was so intense that I don’t know if I could convince myself to do it again, but I am definitely thinking about it. Also, it’s been over a year since my first trip and I find myself forgetting some of it. Does anybody have a way to help remember the trip? Another thing I wondered about was the visuals/feelings in other people’s trips. I know a lot of people see the spiritual good stuff about why we should stop doing drugs and start our life, but how many of you guys saw bad aspects of humanity? I saw really depressing scenes, people doing the basest animalistic things, things that when an animal does them, don’t seem as bad, but because the humans have the capability for higher emotions the scenes were devastating. Also, the bad feeling I got watching these visions was much worse than if I wasn’t hallucinating. It’s like the sad feeling I would get if I really saw some of that stuff happen was highly amplified. Anyone else have visions similar and any ideas that you get from them? Sorry about all the questions. Pretty nosy for a newcomer! I am just very interested in Ibogaine and am excited to find a place with people who like to talk about it!

No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.
Make My Way your home on the Web – http://www.myway.com

From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 9:56:23 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

LOL, Kirsty, We Canadians live in igloos and travel to
work by dogsled….EH!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to the list…there are many cool folks here,
a  conclusion which I’m sure you’ll arrive at in no
time….

cheers,
Julie

— Capt Kirk <captkirk@free.net.nz> wrote:

I’m not sure I understand what’s going on, but this
is an Ibogaine list, and
thus has Drug addicts writing on it, and double THUS
it aint all going to be
sweetness and light….which is great as far as I’m
concerned….variety is
the spice of LIFE!!!  Read what tickles ya wotsits
and what ya don’t like,
don’t read!! Is it not that simple???
Yool hafta excuse me, I’m jest a simple gal from
down under, we still wear
grass skirts and live in dirt huts!!!!
Keep it real kids
Kirsty

—–Original Message—–
From: Hannah Clay [mailto:hannah.clay@ntlworld.com]
Sent: Saturday, 27 November 2004 9:42 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

Please keep posting Preston cuz I for one love your
posts.  We’re not all in
the same situation as Paula-the great thing about
this list is that there
are no rules on what you can and cant post!  I was
gonna post about my
situation but I won’t now-I don’t want to be accused
of bringing others
down.  I don’t know who Mickey Z?  I love both
Burroughs work.  How are you
anyway?

Loads of love Hannah
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 2:53 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

Hi there Paula and happy Thanksgiving right back
attacha.
I don’t know who you are, never seen you post
before, and I am really
irritated you bothered to post this reply to my
post.
Who are you? Why are you bothering being a
bitch to me personally?
What’s up with that?
So, you know what Paula? Please simply delete my
messages from here on out
and put my email address in your “delete unread”
folder so I don’t have to
worry about your bitchy, snotty, come outta
nowhere replies.
Thanks kindly and have a great evening.
To the rest of you, peace and love, sincerely. I
appreciate this list a
lot
and most of its participants- whom I consider for
the most part my
compatriots and “companions” not to mention even a
bit of a support group.
(And btw, do you even know who William S.
Burroughs is Paula? How ’bout
Mickey Z.? Do you care? Or do you simply blurt out
nastiness from
lurkerville at strangers on line for a hobby?) The
lurkers who come outta
nowhere though, egad, what’s up with that personal
animosity and
negativity?
Who is this person? Should I care?

Again, Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for
enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation
Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Paula” <paulab@shaw.ca>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:53 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’
thanksgiving/links

You know what you really need to lighten
up….please…if your downward
spiral into despair requires companions I don’t
think the rest of us
want
to
go there…we are trying to come up not drive
ourselves deeper…use
some
brain cells next time assuming there are a few
left
Pleeeeaaassseee…Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>;
<drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:18 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’
thanksgiving/links

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The
Seven Deadly Sins) just
sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is
one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it.
This isn’t the most
positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving,
but I’m passing it on
anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest
example of “telling it like it
is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by
our Boob tubes and the
Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger
pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of
challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and
to falsify until the
bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their
notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean,
pinched, bitter, evil
faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against
drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to
mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right,
let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were
a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of
the last and greatest of
human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that
incorporated this
ģprayer.ē
To
read it, please click here:

http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

=== message truncated ===

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 8:58:54 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I’m not sure I understand what’s going on, but this is an Ibogaine list, and
thus has Drug addicts writing on it, and double THUS it aint all going to be
sweetness and light….which is great as far as I’m concerned….variety is
the spice of LIFE!!!  Read what tickles ya wotsits and what ya don’t like,
don’t read!! Is it not that simple???
Yool hafta excuse me, I’m jest a simple gal from down under, we still wear
grass skirts and live in dirt huts!!!!
Keep it real kids
Kirsty

—–Original Message—–
From: Hannah Clay [mailto:hannah.clay@ntlworld.com]
Sent: Saturday, 27 November 2004 9:42 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

Please keep posting Preston cuz I for one love your posts.  We’re not all in
the same situation as Paula-the great thing about this list is that there
are no rules on what you can and cant post!  I was gonna post about my
situation but I won’t now-I don’t want to be accused of bringing others
down.  I don’t know who Mickey Z?  I love both Burroughs work.  How are you
anyway?

Loads of love Hannah
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 2:53 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

Hi there Paula and happy Thanksgiving right back attacha.
I don’t know who you are, never seen you post before, and I am really
irritated you bothered to post this reply to my post.
Who are you? Why are you bothering being a bitch to me personally?
What’s up with that?
So, you know what Paula? Please simply delete my messages from here on out
and put my email address in your “delete unread” folder so I don’t have to
worry about your bitchy, snotty, come outta nowhere replies.
Thanks kindly and have a great evening.
To the rest of you, peace and love, sincerely. I appreciate this list a
lot
and most of its participants- whom I consider for the most part my
compatriots and “companions” not to mention even a bit of a support group.
(And btw, do you even know who William S. Burroughs is Paula? How ’bout
Mickey Z.? Do you care? Or do you simply blurt out nastiness from
lurkerville at strangers on line for a hobby?) The lurkers who come outta
nowhere though, egad, what’s up with that personal animosity and
negativity?
Who is this person? Should I care?

Again, Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Paula” <paulab@shaw.ca>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:53 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

You know what you really need to lighten up….please…if your downward
spiral into despair requires companions I don’t think the rest of us
want
to
go there…we are trying to come up not drive ourselves deeper…use
some
brain cells next time assuming there are a few left
Pleeeeaaassseee…Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>; <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:18 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just
sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most
positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on
anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it
is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the
Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the
bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil
faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of
human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this
³prayer.²
To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is
often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 8:30:55 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Yeh I got no problem with people enjoying drugs, it should be a human right
to experiment with their mind.
And like Preston, I just feel for those who got the monkey on their back wot
won’t get off!!  BEgone little minkey!!
Darn shame the devil had a part in creating drugs, that would be the painful
withdrawal part lol (actually I;m not a believer in heaven or hell, only the
ones we create..)
Kirk

—–Original Message—–
From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet@nyc.rr.com]
Sent: Saturday, 27 November 2004 5:18 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?

Group, I’m sorry if I offended anyone by posting
pro-drug crap here.  I didn’t intend to set off
anyone’s triggers…just wanted to share my
metaphysical experience with people I like and care
about….<

I’m one person here who is not anti-drug Julie, not at all, I’m only anti
drug-problem. I have some suspicion that there are others here who feel
similarly to me.
;-0)))

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:45 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?

Randy,

MDMA is a methamphetamine, lovey kind of drug.  It’s
virtually impossible to get physically addicted to,
but psychologically- that’s another story altogether.

Physical addiction is impossible, because each
successive XTC pill you take only has about a quarter
of the effectiveness of the previous one.  Thus, no
tolerance, no daily use is possible.  However, I have
met quite a few people who seem to be psychologically
addicted to X- they plan their whole existence around
their next roll.

I don’t intend to do a repeat of last weekend any time
soon.  I find the crash from XTC to be quite
exhausting.  I’m at the phase where casual drug use-
you know, using a drug as a ‘tool’ instead of as a
‘means’- is definitely more appealing to me.

Group, I’m sorry if I offended anyone by posting
pro-drug crap here.  I didn’t intend to set off
anyone’s triggers…just wanted to share my
metaphysical experience with people I like and care
about….

Julie

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Drugstore Cowboy
Date: November 26, 2004 at 8:26:43 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Yehhhh dats the movie!! I have a terrible memory of late for names etc!!!
Thanks!
I’d have to watch it again as it’s been a few years since I saw it, and
yehhh perhaps it was some prophetic insight!
I cannae wait for my turn!
Kirk

—–Original Message—–
From: Ms Iboga [mailto:ms_iboga@yahoo.com]
Sent: Saturday, 27 November 2004 3:35 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Drugstore Cowboy

Kirsty,

I just watched Drugstore Cowboy a couple of days ago,
and was again struck by the line you mentioned…you
know, the Beats made some pretty crazy, yet uncannily
accurate predictions…wasn’t it Ginsberg who proposed
the cure for opiate addiction would come in the form
of a powerful, hallucinogenic type drug….?

Wonder if Burroughs ever heard about Ibogaine….??

Julie

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From: “m.finman” <mafinman@optonline.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_ Hannah
Date: November 26, 2004 at 8:23:44 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hannah,
The shape you’re in right now has many many similiarities of where I was 4 months ago. The insanity of intellectually knowing you could be one shot from losing a limb or having a heart attack or checking out and still diving right in without so much as a glance back.  The morning after when I would do guilt and shame and regret over the damage I had physically done to my arms and hands as well as having to get up after 2 hours sleep to work a 10 hour day.  Also the guilt over all the money spent the night before and the complete waste of time and of a human life!  I would then go to work, have more cash and repeat the whole drama.  DRIVEN…..by something not of this world.  There were also some wedding pix I just got from my brothers wedding last June.  I was pretty much at my worse then.  First of all I am not even recognizable as the same person in the pix.  There was one picture of me sitting at a table in his backyard where I was in a nod.  It brought me back to remember that I stayed up all night shooting speedballs one after the other(as usual) and got only 2 hours (maybe) sleep before going to the airport at 6:00am with my mother.  I rationalized I would sleep on the plane.  The meet the other side of the family b-b-q was that same day at dinnertime.  I plan on blowing up that picture and putting it maybe on the wall inside my closet.  The rest of the pix at the wedding and reception (which were absolutely unique and soulful)  reminded me of how every second, minute, hour of that visit was socially,emotionally and physically gruelling for me. Having to wear long sleeves in 95 degree weather.  Having to go to my room for a nap when everyone else was at the pool.  Just in general feeling out of place and uncomfortable as a member of the human race.
As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, Someone was living this life for the last 20+ years but it doesn’t even remotely feel like it was me!!!
All I can say to you is Eboga, Eboga, Eboga. My heart goes out to you. I pray the universe intervenes for you as it did for me. You are 23, I can only imagine the possibilities.
I don’t know what subtex is, however I know H is the easiest to come off of or low doses of methedone.  Do what you feel you need to maintain some sanity today as I totally understand.  It’s what usually drives people to the programs to begin with.  What’s keeping you from doing a session?
I wish for you some clarity and a sense of purpose to inspire a course of action that is unencumbered by doubt, fear and an inacurate sense of self.
Call in your angels.  You never know,
Sincerely,
Martee
—– Original Message —–
From: Hannah Clay
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 6:56 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

I actually found a leaflet once at a rave that referred to people taking Prozac recreationally as a kind of weak MDMA (I’ll refer to it as X from now on).  Weird.  I’ve always found that ADs suppress the effects of X and I’ve been on a few.  Its a bummer.

I love going to raves but since I’ve been into H (the past 5yrs) (and I’m 23) I hardly go out at all.  Sean said something about isolation, well I live as a complete hermit at the moment and the more I don’t see people, the more I don’t want to see them.  Luckily I live with my boyf and we’re putting my partner in crime up at the moment so I have to see them!

Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!  I want to get going out again but I do find the come-downs hard without gear.  I’m trying to get hold of some Valium just so I have something to just help me chill out.  I don’t like raves without X though cuz I don’t like the music without!  On X I love Techno.  I’m lucky cuz some of my friends are travellers and know lots of squatters down London and they always know where the best free parties are 🙂  I live in a little town where the clubs are all crap ‘towny’ straight places with cheesy music.

The X powder is lovely cuz it isn’t speedy, just warm loveliness but it isn’t always great for partying cuz you just wanna sit down.  Then we mix it with speed (!).  When I first discovered X when I was 17 I thought it was the greatest thing in the world-I just couldn’t stop smiling.  But the pills just don’t do the same anymore-I don’t know if the pills are crap now or if you just get a tolerance real quick.  Then again, even when I’m fucked I’ll still claim I’m straight and need more-I’m just never satisfied.

I just wish I’d never tried H and I’d be in a VERY different position now.

Last night I did this mornings hit thinking I’d just score as soon as I woke up today.  Instead I slept all day so woke up really sick.  I call my dealer and nothing for a couple of hours so total panic.  Luckily a friend came over and sorted me out.  But my veins are non-existent so then it takes hours to get myself.  I thought I’d got it first time but hit my artery so my right hand swelled up and I was in agony.  Luckily a couple of friends were around to help but they tried for 2hrs and couldn’t get me-I felt like a pin cushion, in my hands, arms, neck, fingers, feet 🙁  I had to muscle-bang it in the end.  And since I’ve been doing rock and gear the past week I hadn’t showered or anything so was embarrassingly grubby.  My veins just wouldn’t give up any blood!  None of the women in my family can give blood cuz they can’t get blood out of us so I really chose the wrong profession!  Anyway so I’m sat there just thinking what have I done to myself?  Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.  My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself and what I consider normal now.

Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.  I’ve got to sort myself out.  I just can’t believe I keep doing this to myself.  Why do we keep doing this?  I’ve hit rockbottom I really have.  And the last couple of yrs I had improved, I’d cut down and started socialising but the past couple of months I’ve been out of control.  I’ve been going in my fingers and when I had to go to A&E for my abscess the Doc told me I could easily lose my hands if I kept doing this. I can’t believe I know that and keep doing it!  Its like that definition of insanity, I am insane.

But I’m gonna try (again) to be clean.  After I’ve just had one more hit….

Love to everyone, you’re my inspiration.
Hannah

PS: Sorry Julie I’ve gone well off-topic!  Hopefully I’ll have far more partying tales in a few weeks and none of this shit. 🙂

—– Original Message —–
From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:37 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

> Hannah,
>
> you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
> some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
> Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
> Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
> notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
> gay guys know how to party !!
>
> I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
> interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
> taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
> by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
> just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
> answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
> is!!
>
> I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
> reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
> think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
> high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
> refer to the last sentence of the previous
> paragraph…
>
> love Julie 🙂
>
>
>
>
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
> http://my.yahoo.com
>
>
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>

From: “m.finman” <mafinman@optonline.net>
Subject: [Ibogaine] correction
Date: November 26, 2004 at 7:03:02 PM EST
To: ibo <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Sorry I misspelled Burroughs name.  I guess I’ve been in new york too long!
Don’t mean any disrespect to the man.
Martee

From: IBEGINAGAIN@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 7:02:10 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Howard,
What i’ve heard from the few people who have come for treatment who have been doing klonapin as their primary benzo is that compared to the other benzos, klonapin didn’t give the same “kick” as the others and this may be why they were using so much more of it which may be the reason why it was more challenging to detox off during a week to ten days time.  Nowadays, and for the past few years, i keep people for several days, from seven to ten days if coming to detox from methadone.  A couple of people detoxed off of everything, cross addicted to methadone, heroin and different type of benzos, etc., and the  only drug which lingered was about half of the klonopin.  The other factor may be that my psychiatrist/shaman friend Bob believes klonopin may metabolise differently than valium and the other benzos.
I think Sara is set up to care for people for a longer time and Ron would do well to pay her and her cute and wonderful kids ( hi to you and your crew, Sara ), a visit.  I’d say, you can’t go wrong Ron..
Time for some pumkin pie,
Eric

From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 7:00:33 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Shit that was what I meant to say-I think it contributed to my depression and if I could change my past I wouldn’t have ever taken it due to the problems I have with depression now.  That said, I was on Antidepressants before I ever took E.  Or like Julie said I should have been careful and not taken the ridiculous amounts I did!  I wanted it cuz it made me feel so happy and that was alien to me.  Now I suffer and it could be cuz of it-now its making me sad?  Catch 22
—– Original Message —–
From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 10:14 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?

Tolerance to MDMA occurs very rapidly. The need to take more to achieve the same effect.

Taking X daily produces a mild speed effect without any of the pleasant tactile stuff the occasional X user may feel.

Chronic use of X may cause permanent depression by burning out the post synaptic seretonin receptor and/or the serotonin transporter.

I have seen several people who took X every day and they are fried for life. Years after they stopped, they appear to have no emotions. They look like early Parkinson patients.

like most drugs and like the golden rule of life… Moderation. A little can be a pleasant learning experience. A lot can take you to hell and in this case, leave you there.

PET scans of chronic X users (more then 300 dosages) show permanent brain damage similar to methamphetamine users.

From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah
Date: November 26, 2004 at 6:56:33 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I actually found a leaflet once at a rave that referred to people taking Prozac recreationally as a kind of weak MDMA (I’ll refer to it as X from now on).  Weird.  I’ve always found that ADs suppress the effects of X and I’ve been on a few.  Its a bummer.

I love going to raves but since I’ve been into H (the past 5yrs) (and I’m 23) I hardly go out at all.  Sean said something about isolation, well I live as a complete hermit at the moment and the more I don’t see people, the more I don’t want to see them.  Luckily I live with my boyf and we’re putting my partner in crime up at the moment so I have to see them!

Tomorrow will be Day 1 on Subutex and off H and crack so wish me luck!  I want to get going out again but I do find the come-downs hard without gear.  I’m trying to get hold of some Valium just so I have something to just help me chill out.  I don’t like raves without X though cuz I don’t like the music without!  On X I love Techno.  I’m lucky cuz some of my friends are travellers and know lots of squatters down London and they always know where the best free parties are 🙂  I live in a little town where the clubs are all crap ‘towny’ straight places with cheesy music.

The X powder is lovely cuz it isn’t speedy, just warm loveliness but it isn’t always great for partying cuz you just wanna sit down.  Then we mix it with speed (!).  When I first discovered X when I was 17 I thought it was the greatest thing in the world-I just couldn’t stop smiling.  But the pills just don’t do the same anymore-I don’t know if the pills are crap now or if you just get a tolerance real quick.  Then again, even when I’m fucked I’ll still claim I’m straight and need more-I’m just never satisfied.

I just wish I’d never tried H and I’d be in a VERY different position now.

Last night I did this mornings hit thinking I’d just score as soon as I woke up today.  Instead I slept all day so woke up really sick.  I call my dealer and nothing for a couple of hours so total panic.  Luckily a friend came over and sorted me out.  But my veins are non-existent so then it takes hours to get myself.  I thought I’d got it first time but hit my artery so my right hand swelled up and I was in agony.  Luckily a couple of friends were around to help but they tried for 2hrs and couldn’t get me-I felt like a pin cushion, in my hands, arms, neck, fingers, feet 🙁  I had to muscle-bang it in the end.  And since I’ve been doing rock and gear the past week I hadn’t showered or anything so was embarrassingly grubby.  My veins just wouldn’t give up any blood!  None of the women in my family can give blood cuz they can’t get blood out of us so I really chose the wrong profession!  Anyway so I’m sat there just thinking what have I done to myself?  Nowadays scoring is the easy bit-then I sit for hours covered in blood crying, I’ve got an abscess on my hand and I’m covered in lumps.  I remember sitting in this guys bedsit when I was 18 and totally against H.  My boyf at the time was doing it and the bedsit was so dirty-dog shit and old pins everywhere.  It stank so bad you had to hold your breath and breathe through your mouth.  I remember sitting there and thinking what am I doing here?  Now I am that guy.  I can’t believe what I’ve done to myself and what I consider normal now.

Anyway, it was like waking up in a nightmare.  I’ve got to sort myself out.  I just can’t believe I keep doing this to myself.  Why do we keep doing this?  I’ve hit rockbottom I really have.  And the last couple of yrs I had improved, I’d cut down and started socialising but the past couple of months I’ve been out of control.  I’ve been going in my fingers and when I had to go to A&E for my abscess the Doc told me I could easily lose my hands if I kept doing this. I can’t believe I know that and keep doing it!  Its like that definition of insanity, I am insane.

But I’m gonna try (again) to be clean.  After I’ve just had one more hit….

Love to everyone, you’re my inspiration.
Hannah

PS: Sorry Julie I’ve gone well off-topic!  Hopefully I’ll have far more partying tales in a few weeks and none of this shit. 🙂

—– Original Message —–
From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:37 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah

> Hannah,
>
> you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
> some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
> Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
> Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
> notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
> gay guys know how to party !!
>
> I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
> interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
> taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
> by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
> just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
> answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
> is!!
>
> I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
> reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
> think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
> high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
> refer to the last sentence of the previous
> paragraph…
>
> love Julie 🙂
>
>
>
>
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
> http://my.yahoo.com
>
>
>   /]=———————————————————————=[\
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>   \]=———————————————————————=[/
>
>
>

From: “m.finman” <mafinman@optonline.net>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Hannah: Re: deep breath
Date: November 26, 2004 at 6:50:20 PM EST
To: ibo <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I have to admit I was taken aback by paulas response to the Boroughs poem. I saw it as an attack as it was aggressive and mean spirited. I sensed misplaced anger. I saw Prestons response more along the lines of defending off an attack, as I have never heard him like that as his primary form of communicating.
My first reaction was,”oh no she didn’t and how is she spokesman for what the “list” wants or doesn’t find acceptable?
My second reaction was to just let the two of them play it out.  Then when I saw the comment Hannah wrote re: not wanting to post her current dilema or topic because she “did not want to bring anyone down”, I knew it had gone beyond Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtin doing Point,Counterpoint.  Especially after Sean (hi) had commented on the importance and the impact this list had on him.
So Hannah please feel free to be forthcoming.  Having an opinion is different than attacking someone or trying to censor someone.  I have never known your posts to come anywhere remotely even in that same neighborhood.
There were no untruths at all in the Poem and NO I don’t believe (my personal opinion) that amusing limerics would go well in between the lines.  Lets leave editing to those who are really good at it!
Martee

From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Drugstore Cowboy
Date: November 26, 2004 at 6:30:48 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

loved Drugstore Cowboy movie!

From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Callie!!!
Date: November 26, 2004 at 6:29:57 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Awwwwww….thanks Julie! My working hours have changed until the first of year. I am here reading most posts….just not much time to reply!
Callie

From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Schmoolyboy_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 5:54:08 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Schmoolyboy,

Oh my god, that is incredibly disturbing!  Personally, I could never take X everyday.  After about two days, my body/brain seem to reach a threshold, a saturation point if you will, after which ingesting more E seems pointless and redundant.  A waste of money and time.

I don’t like crystal, or tweaking at all, for that matter.  Same applies to coke- never got into the high-high-high-buzz-chatter-feel like superwoman-drink like Yeltsin- CRASH HARDCORE!!!- type of buzz.  I like drugs that make me feel warm, glowy, connected to my fellow man.  Interestingly enough, one of my friends seems to be able to achieve these feelings with methamphetamines- goes to show that individual neurochemistry and personal conditioning/imprinting has a lot to do with drug sensation.

How many years of daily use would qualify someone as a ‘chronic user’?  You said 300 tabs- but what if that amount is spread over a lifetime of usage?  Would these same stats apply?  And what of the E crash?  Serotonin depletion, or something else??

Thanks Schmoolyboy…are you a bio/chem/psych student?  It’s great having someone with so much pharmaceutical aptitude on this forum.

Julie  🙂

Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – Get yours free!

From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 5:14:39 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Tolerance to MDMA occurs very rapidly. The need to take more to achieve the same effect.

Taking X daily produces a mild speed effect without any of the pleasant tactile stuff the occasional X user may feel.

Chronic use of X may cause permanent depression by burning out the post synaptic seretonin receptor and/or the serotonin transporter.

I have seen several people who took X every day and they are fried for life. Years after they stopped, they appear to have no emotions. They look like early Parkinson patients.

like most drugs and like the golden rule of life… Moderation. A little can be a pleasant learning experience. A lot can take you to hell and in this case, leave you there.

PET scans of chronic X users (more then 300 dosages) show permanent brain damage similar to methamphetamine users.

From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ? Hannah
Date: November 26, 2004 at 4:37:28 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hannah,

you are sooooooo lucky…I’d love to get my hands on
some nice, clean powdered X…here, it’s all tabs.
Can we say cut, cut, cut, cut,..ad infinitum.
Whenever I party on Church St.(the local boyztown), I
notice I come across powder once and a while.  God,
gay guys know how to party !!

I find what you say about antidepressants+E very
interesting.  I was wondering if the SSRI I was
taking(quit 3 days ago) attributed to this experience
by prolonging the serotonin.  But, alas, I’m no doc,
just a pathetic drug enthusiast who thinks she has the
answers to everything- and then realizes how wrong she
is!!

I agree with you about “The Crash”- it’s the only
reason I wouldn’t call XTC ‘the perfect drug’.  I
think it’s related to the methamphetamine part of the
high, not the lovey, serotonin part.  But alas, please
refer to the last sentence of the previous
paragraph…

love Julie 🙂

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:59:16 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I love MDMA though the pills in this part of the world aren’t what they used
to be (or is that just in my head?)  Unfortunately since I’ve been on
antidepressants I’ve had to take way more MDMA just to get the same effect.
We get good MDMA powder now and that seem cleaner than the pills-more luvvy
and not mixed up with speed and shit.  I have awful come-downs though and
really crave brown for the next couple of days-if I’m trying to be clean I
have to avoid MDMA totally cuz it makes my cravings so much worse,

Love Hannah
—– Original Message —–
From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 2:45 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?

Randy,

MDMA is a methamphetamine, lovey kind of drug.  It’s
virtually impossible to get physically addicted to,
but psychologically- that’s another story altogether.

Physical addiction is impossible, because each
successive XTC pill you take only has about a quarter
of the effectiveness of the previous one.  Thus, no
tolerance, no daily use is possible.  However, I have
met quite a few people who seem to be psychologically
addicted to X- they plan their whole existence around
their next roll.

I don’t intend to do a repeat of last weekend any time
soon.  I find the crash from XTC to be quite
exhausting.  I’m at the phase where casual drug use-
you know, using a drug as a ‘tool’ instead of as a
‘means’- is definitely more appealing to me.

Group, I’m sorry if I offended anyone by posting
pro-drug crap here.  I didn’t intend to set off
anyone’s triggers…just wanted to share my
metaphysical experience with people I like and care
about….

Julie

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:53:49 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I’m sorry your feelings were hurt by the snippy tone
to part of Paula’s post.<

LOL,
“Part?” No Rachel, Paula’s whole pithy post was snippy and rude.
But it’s over, so no worries.
Yes, I let her get to me. No I didn’t think about dominating her, I got angry and struggled not to curse her out, successfully I might add. Don’t know where that dominator thing is coming from at all, but again, that’s ok, no worries. Yes I could have reacted differently but didn’t so in my mind it’s done and now over, as noted.
Have a nice day all. Enjoy the show Rachel.

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Rachel Radhakrishna” <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 3:07 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath

Hey Preston,

It was my stepson on the video game, not hubbalicious,
the Eboga-blessed ex-junkie, Jeff.

I’m sorry your feelings were hurt by the snippy tone
to part of Paula’s post.

I simply don’t like to see a dominator assert their
power over a lurker in such a way as to discourage
others in the ‘silent majority’ from sharing their
opinions.  Especially a male over a female, whatever
the transgenderality of your sexed body and its
various performances.  Someone who is articulate and
theoretically benefitting from an Eboga initiation
could easily take the higher road when it comes to
reacting.  Power over or power shared?  Buttons pushed
and putting people in “their” place??  Not a healing
maneuver, as far as I can think it out.

We’re off to go dance to some String Cheese in Camden,
NJ and travel. So probably won’t be back online until
mid-week.

One more post to the whole list and then I’m packing
for the road.

love, Rachel

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:41:42 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Please keep posting Preston cuz I for one love your posts.  We’re not all in
the same situation as Paula-the great thing about this list is that there
are no rules on what you can and cant post!  I was gonna post about my
situation but I won’t now-I don’t want to be accused of bringing others
down.  I don’t know who Mickey Z?  I love both Burroughs work.  How are you
anyway?

Loads of love Hannah
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 2:53 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?

Hi there Paula and happy Thanksgiving right back attacha.
I don’t know who you are, never seen you post before, and I am really
irritated you bothered to post this reply to my post.
Who are you? Why are you bothering being a bitch to me personally?
What’s up with that?
So, you know what Paula? Please simply delete my messages from here on out
and put my email address in your “delete unread” folder so I don’t have to
worry about your bitchy, snotty, come outta nowhere replies.
Thanks kindly and have a great evening.
To the rest of you, peace and love, sincerely. I appreciate this list a
lot
and most of its participants- whom I consider for the most part my
compatriots and “companions” not to mention even a bit of a support group.
(And btw, do you even know who William S. Burroughs is Paula? How ’bout
Mickey Z.? Do you care? Or do you simply blurt out nastiness from
lurkerville at strangers on line for a hobby?) The lurkers who come outta
nowhere though, egad, what’s up with that personal animosity and
negativity?
Who is this person? Should I care?

Again, Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Paula” <paulab@shaw.ca>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:53 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

You know what you really need to lighten up….please…if your downward
spiral into despair requires companions I don’t think the rest of us
want
to
go there…we are trying to come up not drive ourselves deeper…use
some
brain cells next time assuming there are a few left
Pleeeeaaassseee…Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>; <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:18 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just
sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most
positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on
anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it
is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the
Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the
bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil
faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of
human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this
³prayer.²
To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is
often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

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From: Paula <paulab@shaw.ca>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:27:03 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thank you I’m not a lurker, I see you in my mind’s eye as a eurdite not sure
of the spelling there in a smoking jacket, dark hair, cravat, opium
pipe,fireplace, old fashion-typewriter kind of guy. the raven from edgar
allen poe…anyway did’nt mean to upset you but just the end of my week with
people that put themselves above the needs of my clients…and the first few
lines triggered a response that was more for the work I do than for your
post I apologize….But maybe a few limericks in between the burrough’s just
as a kind guesture to the frail personality I inhabit….Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 7:56 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath

Thanks Rachel,
Yes, I did miss her (the friendly and supportive Paula) introducing
herself to the list here.
I didn’t miss her extra-unfriendly and unsupportive note of yesterday
though, and as I had apparently missed her previous post(s) I did think
her
a lurker (but now see she’s a drinker, and from my own personal experience
find many -not all- drinkers the least friendly people I know, at least
when
they are “problem” drinkers, so perhaps I can put her oh-so friendly and
supportive response to my Burroughs note down to that). Thanks kindly for
setting me straight.
I wasn’t on a “tear” nor have I been on a “tear” in quite some time.
My
use patterns don’t involve “tears” (well, depending on how one prounounces
that word, as I do at time, more often than I care to, experience awfully
wet tears) or at the least haven’t involved “tears” as I myself would use
the term for almost 8 years now. I may very well have been “oblivious” but
when dealing with hundreds of emails every single day (no exaggeration
whatsoever), seeing as my “job” entails my being online all day every day
reading emails and other stuff too, I do occasionally miss a missive here
and there, so I apologize to you and to Paula for mislabling her a
“lurker.”
How about “new subscriber” or “new member of the ibogaine list” or “just
arrived recently to this list and doesn’t know me or many people here at
all
so far as I know so attacking me for posting a fairly normal, regular,
uncontroversial note considering the usual fare here is unusual and took
me
aback.” Does that fit better Rachel?
I also sincerely wish Paula luck and good vibes in her travails with
that nurse putting off her ibogaine treatment. But now I’m really
confused-
was Paula giving us a happy tale, or what? I mean, was her report about
the
ibogaine postponement somehow a happy, positive note, along with that
“depressing” 12-step relapse meeting mention?
I understand that people, myself included, can sometimes fly off the
handle and write really mean notes to strangers online, it being very easy
for some to do so what with the anonymity inherent in emailing others (and
for others who are simply mean people at heart), but I didn’t appreciate
her
little missive to me at all, and found myself really hurt by the
surprising
attack on me from someone I still consider a stranger. Why I let it hurt
me
so much I don’t know- perhaps I was simply tired and sore and in pain and
not at my best.
And now I feel really bad, in that I’ve now searched and found other
notes from Paula (a grand total of 4), and am very surprised and more
hurt,
in that she posted that really cool (and totally off-topic note- two out
of
4 posts are off topic? LOL! That’s helpful in my own quest for a better
life
and happier times) note the other day about the Nuclear Kittens needing
homes, the note I sent out to family and friends and fellow cat lovers all
over the world (having 9 of the little rescued beasties sharing our teeny
LES apartment here- so yes, that post was certainly helpful in my own
personal quest towards happiness and joy), and laughed very hard at when
first seeing. I had a real soft spot for the person that sent that,
automatically feeling real kinship towards anyone who posts positive or
funny notes about cats, but not knowing it was Paula who has done so, it
didn’t color my reaction to her nasty note of yesterday, and now that I
know
it’s the same person, I’m really bummed out that someone I actually had
been
thinking loving, friendly thoughts towards until yesterday has now totally
changed the impression I had of her, with just . Out of the four notes
she’s
so far posted that I can find in my box, one was a gripe about how
miserable
she is, one was an attack note towards me, one was that very funny and
appreciated kittens note previously mentioned, and now the “what the
bleep”
advert in which she makes some crack about brain cells. So as near as I
can
tell, to Paula it’s Paula who is important and the rest (well, that’s not
really true, it’s so far just me as near as I can tell) who have the gall
to
post something not so positive can take a hike, or something. I think it
very funny that two of her four notes to the ibogaine list so far posted,
replying directly to my own posts, have contained cracks about thinking
(one
directly and one obliquely) at me, a guy who uses his braincells for a
living. What is up with that?
I’m not that impressed at all.
But I do still wish her, very sincerely as hard as it might be for me
to
do so at the moment as irritated as I’ve let myself get over her notes and
attitude towards me personally, positive thoughts, best of luck in kicking
that alcohol habit, finding a room or help that won’t bum her out and will
give her the positive vibes she apparantly desperately needs, and genuine
love of the most friendly sort. Why she felt (and apparently still feels)
the need to attack me personally perhaps she’ll say, but it appears she
isn’t going to, but rather will make more cracks and snips at me instead
of
writing, “hey, you know what, I was feeling irritable so I lashed out and
I
apologize Preston,” or something along those lines. Instead she’s changing
the subject with a totally off-topic advertisment and continuing in her
unfriendly tone towards me.
Ahh, why am I bothering wasting my time and energy with this? Why do I
care what Paula thinks? I don’t actually, at least not much, but don’t
enjoy
meaness or hatred or anger either, so would like to resolve this little
disagreement and move on.
BTW, how is Jeff doing? I have been and still am sending him strong
thoughts and vibes, knowing how hard his current situation can be and
feeling for him all the way. He is to be commended and honored for taking
this step and deserves all the kudos he can take for having done this.
That
goes for you as well Rachel, in that anyone who stands by their loved one
through thick and thin, despite what we’re told we’re to feel about
druggies
and addicts by the mainstream prohibitionist types, is honorable and
beautiful and has my respect.

Peace and love to all,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: “Rachel Radhakrishna” <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 1:31 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] deep breath

Paula is not a lurker.  Maybe you were on a tear and
oblivous when she introduced us to her dilemma out in
western Canada and the nurse who keeps putting off her
ibo treatment, or the depressing 12-step group of
relapsers.  But she is not coming out of nowhere.

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail – Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
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From: Rachel Radhakrishna <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:22:35 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Lee,

Thanks for the clarification.  This is Day 22 of the
Eboga eating process, so maybe that explains the
differing intensity.

Martee,

Could be the Zoloft getting in the way.  I think the
word was one or two days off of it before the Iboga
was enough to clear.

For now he’s gonna stick to fish oil, 5-HTP, and GABA
if we can find it.

Dancing tonight I am sure will help!  He’s started
taking the stairs instead of the elevator, and we’ll
check in with you when we get back next week.

Sean,

People love you, you have much love to spread.  I like
the “just for today” idea.  I can do something today
for 12 hours (or one hour) that if I had to imagine
doing for the rest of my life, I couldn’t handle it.
But for today I can.  Just for today.

Everyone,

Thanks for all the love and support.  We’re hitting
the road for at least a few days – String Cheese, my
mom, and our guru.

I’m no saint — used that “brain cells” line on him a
few times in the last weeks myself! — but yes I’ve
made some sacrifices for Jeff’s recovery that are
daunting – completely missed all my deadlines this
fall – no chapters finished, no articles sent out, and
no jobs or fellowships applied for.   Any of you
academics out there know what a horridly inconvenient
time this was to put all that work on the back burner.
But December is a new month.  And I feel profoundly
touched by the spirit of it all, which is energizing
in and of itself.

Thank Goddess for the sunshine today.

Blessings on all our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls,

love, Rachel

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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From: Paula <paulab@shaw.ca>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:18:38 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

send me more about the one about…..always ready for humor …Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 11:19 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive

It makes me real nervous to be considered a success. I am 47 and my recovery is a minute by minute thing sometimes. I’ve been trying to get clean since my son was born in 85. That just ain’t successful. I am clean today because I do things on a daily basis to stay that way. If I falter I’m fucked. So here I am on the list doing what keeps me clean. The music is rocking and I dump here. It gets me by. Sometimes I send out snide remarks to those who send mean stuff to the list. It’s a short coming I must work on. But what the hell I’m still sick. Most of the time I’m trying to make someone laugh. It’s probably an ego thing. So those of you who get offended I am sorry. For those of you who get it. Have a laugh on me. I love everybody. I can look past the asshole-ishness in anybody. People do it for me. Life rocks and the music never sounded better. Did you here the one about…. never mind.   Randy

From: Rachel Radhakrishna <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:07:10 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey Preston,

It was my stepson on the video game, not hubbalicious,
the Eboga-blessed ex-junkie, Jeff.

I’m sorry your feelings were hurt by the snippy tone
to part of Paula’s post.

I simply don’t like to see a dominator assert their
power over a lurker in such a way as to discourage
others in the ‘silent majority’ from sharing their
opinions.  Especially a male over a female, whatever
the transgenderality of your sexed body and its
various performances.  Someone who is articulate and
theoretically benefitting from an Eboga initiation
could easily take the higher road when it comes to
reacting.  Power over or power shared?  Buttons pushed
and putting people in “their” place??  Not a healing
maneuver, as far as I can think it out.

We’re off to go dance to some String Cheese in Camden,
NJ and travel. So probably won’t be back online until
mid-week.

One more post to the whole list and then I’m packing
for the road.

love, Rachel

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: Jeffgd1@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:04:33 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/26/04 12:08:02 PM Eastern Standard Time, ms_iboga@yahoo.com writes:
Dear Jeff,

I’m glad to hear you’re doing well.  And guess what?
You’re going to feel incredible in a short while.  At
the 4-5 week mark, I was so energetic and elated I
could barely contain myself
Yes, yes yes I am hanging tough and am of the mind that this my last best chance OF STAYING OFF THE PROGRAM FOR THE REST MY LIFE.
it IS VERY FREEING TO THINK THAT NOW I HAVE NO HANDCUFFS ON KEEPING MY AT THE MOST A WEEK AWAY FROM MY PROGRAM i CAN NOW GO TO SOMEPLACE LUSH AND BEAUTIFUL LIKE COSTA RICA FOR A FEW MONTHS  I AM READY FOR SOME BIG CHANGES AND THANKINGYOUFOR YOUR KIND WORDS
Jeff SORRY FOR THE CAPS LOCKED FONT MY KEY BOARS ID FUCKED

From: Paula <paulab@shaw.ca>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] What the Bleep Do We Know! – The Movie
Date: November 26, 2004 at 2:29:24 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

did you really like it ..I’m hoping my poor ever-wonderful accepting husband will I am dragging him there with me tonight…I Reallly am hoping that he will feel energized after..Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: shelley krupa
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 7:46 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] What the Bleep Do We Know! – The Movie

Hey Paula & list ,glad you posted about the movie & asooc books” what the bleep” .I saw this a coulpa weeks ago & it really hit the spot ,the post ibo spot!Glad to see so many people posting & in various stages of recovery.I cant emphasize how much acupuncture helps & still does post withdrawl & to keep tuned up!Its been 6 months since my last dose & been a real journey,I have used some & drank some ,but no habits or obsessions for self destrct mode ,Im so grateful to be alive & contributing to our planet, love yall -shell

Paula <paulab@shaw.ca> wrote:
I may not be a fan of burrough’s but i do have occasional use of my brain cells….here is something I thought might interested even the deep thinkers….Happy thoughts..Paula

Animation

> ATTACHMENT part 2 application/octet-stream name=What the Bleep Do We Know! – The Movie.url

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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 2:19:14 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

It makes me real nervous to be considered a success. I am 47 and my recovery is a minute by minute thing sometimes. I’ve been trying to get clean since my son was born in 85. That just ain’t successful. I am clean today because I do things on a daily basis to stay that way. If I falter I’m fucked. So here I am on the list doing what keeps me clean. The music is rocking and I dump here. It gets me by. Sometimes I send out snide remarks to those who send mean stuff to the list. It’s a short coming I must work on. But what the hell I’m still sick. Most of the time I’m trying to make someone laugh. It’s probably an ego thing. So those of you who get offended I am sorry. For those of you who get it. Have a laugh on me. I love everybody. I can look past the asshole-ishness in anybody. People do it for me. Life rocks and the music never sounded better. Did you here the one about…. never mind.   Randy

From: UUSEAN@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 12:19:56 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Preston and list,

Thanks for the support. One thing I do know post ibogaine is that I am never going to hide away from the world in my damn house like I was when I first got on the list. I am not going to let my using defeat me like that again. I think there was no recipe for disaster like that total isolation.  Again had I not found you all I may have killed myself.

Jeff: So glad you are feeling better and ibo treatment went so well for you. It was really cool meeting you and hanging on the Frying Pan.  And Rachel, thanks for the kind words. You are a real asset to the list.

Preston’s will get your number and thanks for the offer of help.

Julie: thanks for being there kid.

Callie:good to see you back, I think of you often.

Fake: welcome back.

Howard: you are the best.

Dana: hope to get over to Bleeker soon to talk.

The rest of you: this email will way too long if I don’t stop now.

Peace,
Sean

From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 12:02:41 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Shelley,

Oh my god…I’ve never heard anything like that…When
I was 19, I used to party for five days straight, on a
mish-mash of crystal and MDMA…after about the fourth
or fifth tab of X, it not longer had any effect on me.
I was, in essence, just flushing my money down the
toilet.

Crystal, on the other hand, never failed to deliver
it’s crazy buzz- I could have literally tweaked for
weeks straight, had I wanted to.

I still maintain that MDMA is NOT physically
addictive.  Psychologically, ABSOLUTELY…The high is
just so incredible, it’s hard to let go of it.

I’m sorry to hear about your friend, and I hope he is
better now…

Julie

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – What will yours do?
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath
Date: November 26, 2004 at 11:55:52 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear Jeff,

I’m glad to hear you’re doing well.  And guess what?
You’re going to feel incredible in a short while.  At
the 4-5 week mark, I was so energetic and elated I
could barely contain myself.  Don’t worry- the
lethargy and depression go away in due time….hang in
there…

Interestingly enough, the most lingering withdrawal
sensation was also in my lower legs!  I wonder why
that is…?

I wouldn’t be surprised if your urinalysis came back
positive for ‘done.  That shite can really linger,
can’t it?

I have been free from opiates for, er, a month and a
half, I think???  About two weeks behind Randy…  And
no cravings(well, for opiates, at least)!  I did
indulge this weekend a bit, but it was my birthday,
and I felt justified.

I wish you the best of luck and peace on your journey.
Julie

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Meet the all-new My Yahoo! – Try it today!
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: Jeffgd1@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath
Date: November 26, 2004 at 11:34:29 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/26/04 11:08:11 AM Eastern Standard Time, ptpeet@nyc.rr.com writes:
BTW, how is Jeff doing? I have been and still am sending him strong
thoughts and vibes, knowing how hard his current situation can be and
feeling for him all the way. He is to be commended and honored for taking
this step and deserves all the kudos he can take for having done this. That
goes for you as well Rachel, in that anyone who stands by their loved one
through thick and thin, despite what we’re told we’re to feel about druggies
and addicts by the mainstream prohibitionist types, is honorable and
beautiful and has my respect.
Preston and all the list
Jeff here it is the morning after thanksgiving and my meal for the holiday was  just under 6 grams of Ibogaine. this was the third time i have done it the first being the stepping up to the major flood dose and totaled around 33 mg/kg i had avery wild sometimes nonsensical  ride it was great though it is not a good feeling i was never in any kind of withdrawals none to me this is simply mind boggling the power of this plant is ancient and is truly a gift of the oldest peoples and gods on the planet to me it felt like it was the first plant the father plant.
After the first session I did not seem to bounce back very much I was in a lot of discomfort and felt a constant level of exhaustion and withdrawals.  So we decided to do another mg 6 mg booster dose and it had virtually no effect I felt a mild body buzz but never heard the BUZZ that seems a common experience and never felt out of it or much else.
I was getting out everyday though even sitting in a restaurant was too much for me and  finally at about 2 weeks 2 days i woke up feeling way better. it was a small step but finally gave me something to grab onto. then yesterday i was feeling almost good  the love i felt for Rachel was overwhelming (and still is here) she has been a saint. being a person who has never done any powders of any kind she really has no frame of referee for it ans is still able to empathize and find it in her heart to care for me even when I was really negative a week or so after the first session.
So no I am 3 weeks and a day free of methadone but I still think there is some left in me somewhere I feel it’s presences an invading force in my calfs and I guess I will just have to deal I know the Ibo scrubbed me almost clean.
i am curious get the results of the piss test i left at my FORMER clinic who would have started me right back with 20 mgs of methadone the day we were there i simply know that this is it if i were to seek relief with methadone it would be a life sentence at 45 years old i know that to go through this again not a realistic possibility
so i am here  getting better and thanksgiving this year is one i will always remember as me gratefulest day yet. we all have so much to be thankful for being opiate free for the first time in over ten years is a miracle
praise eboga one our greatest gifts
Love all
Jeff

From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 11:18:18 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Group, I’m sorry if I offended anyone by posting
pro-drug crap here.  I didn’t intend to set off
anyone’s triggers…just wanted to share my
metaphysical experience with people I like and care
about….<

I’m one person here who is not anti-drug Julie, not at all, I’m only anti drug-problem. I have some suspicion that there are others here who feel similarly to me.
;-0)))

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Ms Iboga” <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 9:45 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?

Randy,

MDMA is a methamphetamine, lovey kind of drug.  It’s
virtually impossible to get physically addicted to,
but psychologically- that’s another story altogether.

Physical addiction is impossible, because each
successive XTC pill you take only has about a quarter
of the effectiveness of the previous one.  Thus, no
tolerance, no daily use is possible.  However, I have
met quite a few people who seem to be psychologically
addicted to X- they plan their whole existence around
their next roll.

I don’t intend to do a repeat of last weekend any time
soon.  I find the crash from XTC to be quite
exhausting.  I’m at the phase where casual drug use-
you know, using a drug as a ‘tool’ instead of as a
‘means’- is definitely more appealing to me.

Group, I’m sorry if I offended anyone by posting
pro-drug crap here.  I didn’t intend to set off
anyone’s triggers…just wanted to share my
metaphysical experience with people I like and care
about….

Julie

__________________________________________________
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Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Fw: [DrugWar] Fw: New book on Drug Policy Reform
Date: November 26, 2004 at 11:14:43 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

It’s amazing. On one list I’m embroilled in a small flame match with someone telling me I need to think more (and kicking myself for letting it get me so riled), and yet, on my own DrugWar email list, I’m getting wonderfully warm notes like the following:

—–

Preston, I have never met you but I think I am in love with you! .

I just ordered your new book and I await it with baited breath. I am just
dying to read it!Maybe one day, if I ever have the opportunity to make the
trip I can meet you and get your autograph.

-Heather

“Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out
the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them,
and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows,
or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those
whom they oppress.”

From “War, Race and Elections”
By STAN GOFF
—–

Life is funny, eh? Twists, turns, and unexpected responses.
And to think I sometimes get myself so desperate and depressed that I think dark thoughts of suicide.
Egad. I’ve got to stop taking the negative types and my own worries so personally and so seriously.

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Kenyanboa” <kenyanboa@pivot.net>
To: <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 7:07 AM
Subject: Re: [DrugWar] Fw: New book on Drug Policy Reform

Preston, I have never met you but I think I am in love with you! .

I just ordered your new book and I await it with baited breath. I am just
dying to read it!Maybe one day, if I ever have the opportunity to make the
trip I can meet you and get your autograph.

-Heather

“Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out
the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them,
and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows,
or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those
whom they oppress.”

From “War, Race and Elections”
By STAN GOFF

—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>; <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Monday, November 22, 2004 10:45 AM
Subject: [DrugWar] Fw: New book on Drug Policy Reform

Hi all,

Please excuse the shameless self-advertisement, or what may seem like
shameless self-advertisement, but I’m so pleased with Cliff’s reaction to
the book I just edited (which he is a contributor to btw, but I hope that
doesn’t detract from his review) I thought I’d forward it to you all.

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: clifford thornton
Sent: Monday, November 22, 2004 5:40 AM
Subject: New book on Drug Policy Reform

Many of you have responded and said that the link provided earlier did not
work.  Well, I’m sorry about that.  Here is a new link and please if for
some reason this doesn’t work get back to me.

This book is for all people interested in injustice in this country. Most
if not all aspects of drug policy reform are represented in this book,
including race, asset forfeiture, prisons and a lot more.  I have an essay
in this book but more importantly this book provides a great cross section
of not only the argument but also many of the internal problems within the
drug reform movement.

This is for all students and teachers especially the broader public.  It
is
a great guide for students who want a full spectrum of drug policy.  It is
great as a teaching tool.  More importantly it can provide invaluable
information on the whats and hows of drug policy reform.  Teachers,
encourage your departments to bring this book to your libraries or use it
as
a core part of your curriculum. As always, you guys and gals have always
been an inspiration to me and our organization in all that we do.

Please view
http://www.disinfo.com/site/displayarticle6040.html
Under The Influence: The Disinformation Guide To Drugs :: Disinformation
::
The gateway to the underground – news, … [new window] [frame] [preview]

Clifford Wallace Thornton, Jr.

Efficacy
PO Box 1234
860 657 8438
Hartford, CT 06143
efficacy@msn.com
www.Efficacy-online.org

Working to end race and class drug war injustice, Efficacy is a non profit
501 (c) 3 organization founded in 1997. Your gifts and donations are tax
deductible

<]=———————————————————————–=[

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 11:00:40 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

ahhh, I see Jeff is doing fairly well. The videogame idea was a good one for me too at time, although right after I did ibogaine I found I wasn’t at all interested, for a couple weeks at least, in sitting playing videogames. But for someone in Jeff’s position, having gone through so long a methadone habit, this is one of the better ideas for relaxing I could think of, having done exactly the same when I myself kicked methadone.
More power to you both.

Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —– From: “Rachel Radhakrishna” <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 2:14 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive

Hey Sean, Glad to hear you’ve surfaced. Four days
clean is awesome man.  Keep it up.

Jasen, what did God’s beautiful face look like???

Fake, welcome back man.  Looking forward to more
details.

Here, Jeff’s taken another small booster – two 2.9
mg/kg an hour apart for 5.8/mg/kg total – and again
saying he’s not feeling it.  High expectations?
Dunno.  But no crickets, no buzz, nothing much.  He
knows he’s “under the influence of something” and is
quieter than he realizes after five hours.

His 18-year-old kid and I are stuffing our faces on
pumpkin bread and apple cider and glad we are 1)
playing Tony Hawk 3 (him) and 2) meditating in a room
with candles and Eboga (me) rather than struggling
with the larger family and all the traffic in Jersey.
Jeff just couldn’t deal with yawning and sneezing and
runny eyes at the table.  His mom knows something’s up
cuz we’ve been flaking on her for weeks now.  But he
knew he’d spill the beans so to speak if he went, and
doesn’t want to face that music yet.

lots of love, rachel

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail – You care about security. So do we.
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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Fw: Drug-Watch: Remote, Retroactive Intercessionary Prayer
Date: November 26, 2004 at 10:57:41 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>, <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

—– Original Message —– From: “John French” <john.french@verizon.net>
To: <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 4:52 PM
Subject: Drug-Watch: Remote, Retroactive Intercessionary Prayer

I simply could not resist this one. I had missed it three years ago, so I am late examining the
“Effects of remote, retroactive intercessory prayer on outcomes in patients with bloodstream
infection: randomised controlled trial,” by Leonard Leibovici [BMJ 2001;323:1450-1451 (22-29
December)] The full text is on-line at:
http://bmj.com/cgi/content/full/323/7327/1450

The study leaves me almost at a loss for words. But the many Related Letters in BMJ further
down the page, and the even larger number of Rapid Responses further along renew my faith
in my God, science, and my fellow researchers.

The study randomly assigned about 3,400 decade-old case records of a certain infection at a
hospital into two groups: Intercessionary Prayer, and non-Prayer Controls. They then found
some folks (whose affiliations, religious or otherwise, were not given) to pray for the intercession
group, using their first names to personalize the process. They found significant differences
between the two groups on length of hospital stay (LOS) and length of fever. Here is what they
concluded:

“Conclusion: Remote, retroactive intercessory prayer can improve outcomes in patients with a
bloodstream infection. This intervention is cost effective, probably has no adverse effects, and
should be considered for clinical practice. Further studies may determine the most effective
form of this intervention and its effect in other severe conditions and may clarify its mechanism.”

Well…. as one letter writer pointed out, the scanty data on LOS given in Table 2 show that the
maximum time in treatment in the control group (320 day) was roughly double that for the
intercession group (165 days), thus a few anomolies undoubtedly caused serious harm to the
analysis. But the rest of the letters are gems of thoughtfulness and insight. Here’s one:

“As any student of Star Trek will tell you, the first rule of time travel is that you cannot change
the course of history, otherwise you get into an infinite regress.

“In the case of Leibovici’s study, if we accept that people can be made better by future prayer
or other intervention then [they] must have been made better at the first time of that
intervention, when they were ill.

“In which case it would then be impossible for them to be subsequently allocated to the
placebo arm of the study.

“That means this paper is not a randomised controlled trial.

“But then you knew that already !

Yours sincerely,
Dr John Hopkins”

Some other letters were more strictly scientific in their confrontations, and all make for good
reading and a good lesson in clinical research.

With this, I am going on vacation for a week, so I will not discuss a similar (but proactive) study
done by the Feds years ago of addicts in treatment, which found no significant differences,
perhaps because I prayed for the control group.

John French

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) Re: [Ibogaine] deep breath
Date: November 26, 2004 at 10:56:18 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thanks Rachel,
Yes, I did miss her (the friendly and supportive Paula) introducing herself to the list here.
I didn’t miss her extra-unfriendly and unsupportive note of yesterday though, and as I had apparently missed her previous post(s) I did think her a lurker (but now see she’s a drinker, and from my own personal experience find many -not all- drinkers the least friendly people I know, at least when they are “problem” drinkers, so perhaps I can put her oh-so friendly and supportive response to my Burroughs note down to that). Thanks kindly for setting me straight.
I wasn’t on a “tear” nor have I been on a “tear” in quite some time. My use patterns don’t involve “tears” (well, depending on how one prounounces that word, as I do at time, more often than I care to, experience awfully wet tears) or at the least haven’t involved “tears” as I myself would use the term for almost 8 years now. I may very well have been “oblivious” but when dealing with hundreds of emails every single day (no exaggeration whatsoever), seeing as my “job” entails my being online all day every day reading emails and other stuff too, I do occasionally miss a missive here and there, so I apologize to you and to Paula for mislabling her a “lurker.” How about “new subscriber” or “new member of the ibogaine list” or “just arrived recently to this list and doesn’t know me or many people here at all so far as I know so attacking me for posting a fairly normal, regular, uncontroversial note considering the usual fare here is unusual and took me aback.” Does that fit better Rachel?
I also sincerely wish Paula luck and good vibes in her travails with that nurse putting off her ibogaine treatment. But now I’m really confused- was Paula giving us a happy tale, or what? I mean, was her report about the ibogaine postponement somehow a happy, positive note, along with that “depressing” 12-step relapse meeting mention?
I understand that people, myself included, can sometimes fly off the handle and write really mean notes to strangers online, it being very easy for some to do so what with the anonymity inherent in emailing others (and for others who are simply mean people at heart), but I didn’t appreciate her little missive to me at all, and found myself really hurt by the surprising attack on me from someone I still consider a stranger. Why I let it hurt me so much I don’t know- perhaps I was simply tired and sore and in pain and not at my best.
And now I feel really bad, in that I’ve now searched and found other notes from Paula (a grand total of 4), and am very surprised and more hurt, in that she posted that really cool (and totally off-topic note- two out of 4 posts are off topic? LOL! That’s helpful in my own quest for a better life and happier times) note the other day about the Nuclear Kittens needing homes, the note I sent out to family and friends and fellow cat lovers all over the world (having 9 of the little rescued beasties sharing our teeny LES apartment here- so yes, that post was certainly helpful in my own personal quest towards happiness and joy), and laughed very hard at when first seeing. I had a real soft spot for the person that sent that, automatically feeling real kinship towards anyone who posts positive or funny notes about cats, but not knowing it was Paula who has done so, it didn’t color my reaction to her nasty note of yesterday, and now that I know it’s the same person, I’m really bummed out that someone I actually had been thinking loving, friendly thoughts towards until yesterday has now totally changed the impression I had of her, with just . Out of the four notes she’s so far posted that I can find in my box, one was a gripe about how miserable she is, one was an attack note towards me, one was that very funny and appreciated kittens note previously mentioned, and now the “what the bleep” advert in which she makes some crack about brain cells. So as near as I can tell, to Paula it’s Paula who is important and the rest (well, that’s not really true, it’s so far just me as near as I can tell) who have the gall to post something not so positive can take a hike, or something. I think it very funny that two of her four notes to the ibogaine list so far posted, replying directly to my own posts, have contained cracks about thinking (one directly and one obliquely) at me, a guy who uses his braincells for a living. What is up with that?
I’m not that impressed at all.
But I do still wish her, very sincerely as hard as it might be for me to do so at the moment as irritated as I’ve let myself get over her notes and attitude towards me personally, positive thoughts, best of luck in kicking that alcohol habit, finding a room or help that won’t bum her out and will give her the positive vibes she apparantly desperately needs, and genuine love of the most friendly sort. Why she felt (and apparently still feels) the need to attack me personally perhaps she’ll say, but it appears she isn’t going to, but rather will make more cracks and snips at me instead of writing, “hey, you know what, I was feeling irritable so I lashed out and I apologize Preston,” or something along those lines. Instead she’s changing the subject with a totally off-topic advertisment and continuing in her unfriendly tone towards me.
Ahh, why am I bothering wasting my time and energy with this? Why do I care what Paula thinks? I don’t actually, at least not much, but don’t enjoy meaness or hatred or anger either, so would like to resolve this little disagreement and move on.
BTW, how is Jeff doing? I have been and still am sending him strong thoughts and vibes, knowing how hard his current situation can be and feeling for him all the way. He is to be commended and honored for taking this step and deserves all the kudos he can take for having done this. That goes for you as well Rachel, in that anyone who stands by their loved one through thick and thin, despite what we’re told we’re to feel about druggies and addicts by the mainstream prohibitionist types, is honorable and beautiful and has my respect.

Peace and love to all,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Rachel Radhakrishna” <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 1:31 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] deep breath

Paula is not a lurker.  Maybe you were on a tear and
oblivous when she introduced us to her dilemma out in
western Canada and the nurse who keeps putting off her
ibo treatment, or the depressing 12-step group of
relapsers.  But she is not coming out of nowhere.

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail – Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail

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From: shelley krupa <skrupa20022002@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 10:48:53 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Julie I had a friend who did develop a tolerance to X & was doing a gram a day ,so ,guess anybodoy can go to far,intention is the ruler huh?

Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com> wrote:
Randy,

MDMA is a methamphetamine, lovey kind of drug. It’s
virtually impossible to get physically addicted to,
but psychologically- that’s another story altogether.

Physical addiction is impossible, because each
successive XTC pill you take only has about a quarter
of the effectiveness of the previous one. Thus, no
tolerance, no daily use is possible. However, I have
met quite a few people who seem to be psychologically
addicted to X- they plan their whole existence around
their next roll.

I don’t intend to do a repeat of last weekend any time
soon. I find the crash from XTC to be quite
exhausting. I’m at the phase where casual drug use-
you know, using a drug as a ‘tool’ instead of as a
‘means’- is definitely more appealing to me.

Group, I’m sorry if I offended anyone by posting
pro-drug crap here. I didn’t intend to set off
anyone’s triggers…just wanted to share my
metaphysical experience with people I like and care
about….

Julie

__________________________________________________
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Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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From: shelley krupa <skrupa20022002@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] What the Bleep Do We Know! – The Movie
Date: November 26, 2004 at 10:46:05 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey Paula & list ,glad you posted about the movie & asooc books” what the bleep” .I saw this a coulpa weeks ago & it really hit the spot ,the post ibo spot!Glad to see so many people posting & in various stages of recovery.I cant emphasize how much acupuncture helps & still does post withdrawl & to keep tuned up!Its been 6 months since my last dose & been a real journey,I have used some & drank some ,but no habits or obsessions for self destrct mode ,Im so grateful to be alive & contributing to our planet, love yall -shell

Paula <paulab@shaw.ca> wrote:
I may not be a fan of burrough’s but i do have occasional use of my brain cells….here is something I thought might interested even the deep thinkers….Happy thoughts..Paula

Animation

> ATTACHMENT part 2 application/octet-stream name=What the Bleep Do We Know! – The Movie.url

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 9:52:57 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

For instance, I am 4 days clean now, but will most likely use this weekend.<

Suspecting I for one know exACTly what you’re going through here Sean, I can only say you are in my thoughts, and to urge you to be ultra-careful, please. I won’t make the common-sense suggestions, like, “is there anything else you can do to distract you,” or “what are you thinking?” Rather, as noted, I will only say be careful and let you know that if you need to talk, you can feel free to call me, or write, or whatever.
I think you have my number- if not, ask Mark or D. They’ll give it to you. But don’t feel obligated to call either, it’s ok and I won’t be offended if you don’t call. Just know that that option is there for you if need be.
;-)))

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: UUSEAN@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 12:24 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive

Hi Fake and list,

I have learned a couple of things from hanging on this list, and with meeting some ibo people f2f. One is that the ibogaine community are among the kindest and accepting people I have met in a very long time.  One of the best things about doing ibogaine is the people in the ibogaine community.. Meeting Howard and his wonderful wife, Patrick, the human being form planet earth in New Orleans, the New York folk, John Freed, and the wider ibo world has changed my life.

Getting on this list changed my life as well. I was at my lowest when I found this list, and sometimes I think I would have been locked up somewhere if I had not.

Successes like are common, like Fake and Randy, and the many I have met and emailed with and chatted on the phone with for whom ibo unsprung from years of hellish dope addiction.  These folk have a real choice in their lives which was not there before.. Ibogaine really does work and work well for many people. In New Orleans I heard promising stats about how well.

For me, ibogaine has been a mixed bag.  I am not free addiction, although ibogaine has certainly reduced the some of the compulsiveness around my use. I really think that I am one though, who cannot turn to ibogaine for complete relief from craving. Craving and thoughts return real fast for me. As has been said over and over this ain’t no miracle pill, and nothing works equally well for everyone. That’s just life.

So I continue in my addiction although still greatly freed and open-minded toward change.  I have definitely reduced my harm, so ibogaine in the context of harm reduction makes great sense too. I have, though tended to withdraw somewhat form the aftercare community here in the NYC area as I still am using, and working it though more harm reduction and love and caring than with complete abstinence which still is not in my reach.

For instance, I am 4 days clean now, but will most likely use this weekend. I am reaching out though and not just giving up and isolating like I did in the past.  I do not feel hopeless.

I hope those celebrating Thanksgiving had a good one, and it still warms my heart to see the real successes on this list. As Patrick told me, though, I have a record too of how far I have come, it’s just that I have a long way to go yet.

Fake you rock, list y0u rock, and Patrick you are one cool mofo for keeping this list going.

Peace,
Sean

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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 9:45:32 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Randy,

MDMA is a methamphetamine, lovey kind of drug.  It’s
virtually impossible to get physically addicted to,
but psychologically- that’s another story altogether.

Physical addiction is impossible, because each
successive XTC pill you take only has about a quarter
of the effectiveness of the previous one.  Thus, no
tolerance, no daily use is possible.  However, I have
met quite a few people who seem to be psychologically
addicted to X- they plan their whole existence around
their next roll.

I don’t intend to do a repeat of last weekend any time
soon.  I find the crash from XTC to be quite
exhausting.  I’m at the phase where casual drug use-
you know, using a drug as a ‘tool’ instead of as a
‘means’- is definitely more appealing to me.

Group, I’m sorry if I offended anyone by posting
pro-drug crap here.  I didn’t intend to set off
anyone’s triggers…just wanted to share my
metaphysical experience with people I like and care
about….

Julie

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive- Sean
Date: November 26, 2004 at 9:38:41 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Sean,

I’m so happy to hear from you….a lot of people on
this list were wondering about you and Callie, and
boom- you both show up again at the same time…

Very cool synchronicity…Don’t beat yourself up, we
all make slips now and then…Just keep reaching for
the stars(I know, that sounded cheezy), and if you
only reach the ionosphere, hey, you made it farther
than most other people!

love Julie

__________________________________________________
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Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Drugstore Cowboy
Date: November 26, 2004 at 9:34:57 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Kirsty,

I just watched Drugstore Cowboy a couple of days ago,
and was again struck by the line you mentioned…you
know, the Beats made some pretty crazy, yet uncannily
accurate predictions…wasn’t it Ginsberg who proposed
the cure for opiate addiction would come in the form
of a powerful, hallucinogenic type drug….?

Wonder if Burroughs ever heard about Ibogaine….??

Julie

__________________________________________________
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Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Callie!!!
Date: November 26, 2004 at 9:32:35 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Callie,

It’s nice to see you back..quite a few people were
wondering where you were…

welcome home, baby,

Julie

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail – Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
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From: Paula <paulab@shaw.ca>
Subject: [Ibogaine] What the Bleep Do We Know! – The Movie
Date: November 26, 2004 at 7:21:49 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I may not be a fan of burrough’s but i do have occasional use of my brain cells….here is something I thought might interested even the deep thinkers….Happy thoughts..Paula

Animation


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From: “m.finman” <mafinman@optonline.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] abstain from methadone for 72 hours
Date: November 26, 2004 at 6:35:47 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Rachel,
Full moon, no wonder I have been up again at 4 and 5:00 am the last few days. I thought I was past that faze of the ibogaine thing.  Glad to hear that you guys are still hanging in there.
Wasn’t it mentioned before that the antidepressant needed to be stopped 10 days before dosing.  Maybe that’s why he’s not feeling it.  As far as the intervals, I am no expert, but I remember Marc telling me when he did one of his boosters 10 days after his return from mexico, and I asked him did he have any visions, he told me he looked out of his window and saw the old city of Jerusaleum!  The sneezes lasted me a good two months.  I had to mentally reassociate the sneeze to iboga, and not to withdrawl.  Again,  for me pharmaceuticals and certain substances made me feel worse.  I think everyone is different, at this point there is no manual, and I had to take notice and personal responsibility for how my days progressed.
I had two, not too nice weeks afterwards, followed by 2 additional kick ass fatigue like I couldn’t believe weeks. But when I noticed even slight progress on a daily basis, I was ok.  Some days the progress would regress and then pick up again.
Two weeks prior to my session I went back on heroin and discontinued all methedone.  The night before my session, I felt like I literally felt the methedone drop from my brain.  I don’t know anyother way to describe it. I was given advice that this course of action may be best.  At the time I laughed and replied that physically, emotionally, legally, professionally,spiritually and most of all financially I thought I would be better off staying on the methedone.  Then I somehow decided to do this and it was no picnic. You see the convenience of having a bottle by your bedside in the am to drink and stay well vs running on that mission.
In hindsight I believe it was the best advice I could have been given. No matter what I felt went well or not in my session or recovery period, I have to say I am a million times better for.
I think at this point and time it helps to notice what personal cause and effect is being experienced and pass on the info for others so they can consider and apply it to their situation, or not.  All we have is each other in this regard.
Glad you were able to get a few cool grooves from this holiday.
Martee
—– Original Message —– From: “Rachel Radhakrishna” <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Friday, November 26, 2004 5:21 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] abstain from methadone for 72 hours

Is this why> I had so many problems > with residuals?
Randy, I’m wondering the same thing. But could also be
being men in their 40s with a lot of piper to pay for
all their years of phun.

Jeff are you seeing this?

Not yet, man, he’s in la-la land, finally fell asleep
eight hours after his last dose.  Wish I could do the
same, but this Full Moon energy has got me all revved
up.

__________________________________
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Yahoo! Mail – You care about security. So do we.
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From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 5:37:18 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Rachel,

Sorry, I know you posted a list of Jeff’s treatment but I was wondering what has been the time lapse between the most recent ibogaine intakes as I find that too close together it starts to reduce its effectiveness significantly – in terms of the spiritual experiences at least.

The by-products of each journey suppress the effects of the next unless there is a reasonable time lapse and not too much build up of by-product from the previous session. Water, time, exercise… then another session. About 2 weeks minimum can be okay unless there is a burning issue. In which case focusing on the issue can bring it out like the puss in a boil.

The exception to all this is anger which seems to block the spiritual side of the experience to some extent but not fully.

LOL to you too

Lee

Rachel Radhakrishna <rachelradha@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hey Sean, Glad to hear you’ve surfaced. Four days
clean is awesome man. Keep it up.

Jasen, what did God’s beautiful face look like???

Fake, welcome back man. Looking forward to more
details.

Here, Jeff’s taken another small booster – two 2.9
mg/kg an hour apart for 5.8/mg/kg total – and again
saying he’s not feeling it. High expectations?
Dunno. But no crickets, no buzz, nothing much. He
knows he’s “under the influence of something” and is
quieter than he realizes after five hours.

His 18-year-old kid and I are stuffing our faces on
pumpkin bread and apple cider and glad we are 1)
playing Tony Hawk 3 (him) and 2) meditating in a room
with candles and Eboga (me) rather than struggling
with the larger family and all the traffic in Jersey.
Jeff just couldn’t deal with yawning and sneezing and
runny eyes at the table. His mom knows something’s up
cuz we’ve been flaking on her for weeks now. But he
knew he’d spill the beans so to speak if he went, and
doesn’t want to face that music yet.

lots of love, rachel

__________________________________
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Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

ALL-NEW Yahoo! Messenger – all new features – even more fun!

From: Rachel Radhakrishna <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] abstain from methadone for 72 hours
Date: November 26, 2004 at 5:21:51 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Is this why> I had so many problems > with residuals?
Randy, I’m wondering the same thing. But could also be
being men in their 40s with a lot of piper to pay for
all their years of phun.

Jeff are you seeing this?

Not yet, man, he’s in la-la land, finally fell asleep
eight hours after his last dose.  Wish I could do the
same, but this Full Moon energy has got me all revved
up.

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail – You care about security. So do we.
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail

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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 4:42:27 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Preston, anyone who could read Burroughs and not get it is not worthy of stress. I got it. It was a poem for Gods sake. I bet she thinks Eminem is the Devil too. I think the only one who needs to lighten up is what’s her name. Stop me before I become asshole-ish and sarcastic. No don’t, this shit is too much fun. I await her next reply with a baited di…. aaaa breath. Makes me think off Ian Drury and the Blockheads for some reason. Hit meee.   Randy

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 4:13:56 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Listen to Schmoolyboy Ron, he knows.         Randy

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] abstain from methadone for 72 hours
Date: November 26, 2004 at 4:12:18 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Schmoolyboy, I only waited for 24 hours. Is this why I had so many problems with residuals? Jeff are you seeing this? What can a person do if they are already post Ibogaine and didn’t wait for 72 hours? Anything that will help with the side effects you are talking about? It is starting to look like the best route for methadone patients is to go to a short acting opiate for 2 weeks before the Ibogaine. Is this necessary? How about one week? More people could pull that off. I learn as you type.     Randy

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:53:18 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Julie, I’m an old guy and I have never taken MDMA. Now back in the day I did all kinds of MDA. I did it for the Demerol or whatever opiate they used to make it. Does MDMA feel like it has an opiate in it? We called MDA the love drug because sex was great while under the influence. I may be wrong and there was more than one recipe but the stuff I was doing had Demerol, LSD, and speed in it. Does this MDMA compare with the old version? Be careful girl. If it is as fun as the old stuff I would be afraid my addiction would take over. I’ve read about it but I really don’t pay too much attention to what is said in the media about drug effects. To use a little Richard Pryor here, they told me heroin was the root of all evil and to never, ever, do it. I could not wait to do some heroin, they had been wrong about every other drug I had tried. Sick ‘aint I?               Randy

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 3:33:43 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

M, I get on the list and the first thing I see is your post. It is so good to hear from you. I lost your Email address or I would send you a note off list. Please send it again. I would like to talk to you about your experience.  It gets better. The sleep will come. At least you don’t have to worry about getting any dope. It’s been about 2 months for me and things are so much better. Looking forward to hearing more.         Randy

From: Rachel Radhakrishna <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 2:14:28 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey Sean, Glad to hear you’ve surfaced. Four days
clean is awesome man.  Keep it up.

Jasen, what did God’s beautiful face look like???

Fake, welcome back man.  Looking forward to more
details.

Here, Jeff’s taken another small booster – two 2.9
mg/kg an hour apart for 5.8/mg/kg total – and again
saying he’s not feeling it.  High expectations?
Dunno.  But no crickets, no buzz, nothing much.  He
knows he’s “under the influence of something” and is
quieter than he realizes after five hours.

His 18-year-old kid and I are stuffing our faces on
pumpkin bread and apple cider and glad we are 1)
playing Tony Hawk 3 (him) and 2) meditating in a room
with candles and Eboga (me) rather than struggling
with the larger family and all the traffic in Jersey.
Jeff just couldn’t deal with yawning and sneezing and
runny eyes at the table.  His mom knows something’s up
cuz we’ve been flaking on her for weeks now.  But he
knew he’d spill the beans so to speak if he went, and
doesn’t want to face that music yet.

lots of love, rachel

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Mail – You care about security. So do we.
http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail

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From: Rachel Radhakrishna <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] deep breath
Date: November 26, 2004 at 1:31:39 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Paula is not a lurker.  Maybe you were on a tear and
oblivous when she introduced us to her dilemma out in
western Canada and the nurse who keeps putting off her
ibo treatment, or the depressing 12-step group of
relapsers.  But she is not coming out of nowhere.

__________________________________
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Yahoo! Mail – Helps protect you from nasty viruses.
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From: UUSEAN@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 26, 2004 at 12:24:36 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Fake and list,

I have learned a couple of things from hanging on this list, and with meeting some ibo people f2f. One is that the ibogaine community are among the kindest and accepting people I have met in a very long time.  One of the best things about doing ibogaine is the people in the ibogaine community.. Meeting Howard and his wonderful wife, Patrick, the human being form planet earth in New Orleans, the New York folk, John Freed, and the wider ibo world has changed my life.

Getting on this list changed my life as well. I was at my lowest when I found this list, and sometimes I think I would have been locked up somewhere if I had not.

Successes like are common, like Fake and Randy, and the many I have met and emailed with and chatted on the phone with for whom ibo unsprung from years of hellish dope addiction.  These folk have a real choice in their lives which was not there before.. Ibogaine really does work and work well for many people. In New Orleans I heard promising stats about how well.

For me, ibogaine has been a mixed bag.  I am not free addiction, although ibogaine has certainly reduced the some of the compulsiveness around my use. I really think that I am one though, who cannot turn to ibogaine for complete relief from craving. Craving and thoughts return real fast for me. As has been said over and over this ain’t no miracle pill, and nothing works equally well for everyone. That’s just life.

So I continue in my addiction although still greatly freed and open-minded toward change.  I have definitely reduced my harm, so ibogaine in the context of harm reduction makes great sense too. I have, though tended to withdraw somewhat form the aftercare community here in the NYC area as I still am using, and working it though more harm reduction and love and caring than with complete abstinence which still is not in my reach.

For instance, I am 4 days clean now, but will most likely use this weekend.  I am reaching out though and not just giving up and isolating like I did in the past.  I do not feel hopeless.

I hope those celebrating Thanksgiving had a good one, and it still warms my heart to see the real successes on this list. As Patrick told me, though, I have a record too of how far I have come, it’s just that I have a long way to go yet.

Fake you rock, list y0u rock, and Patrick you are one cool mofo for keeping this list going.

Peace,
Sean

From: “m.finman” <mafinman@optonline.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 11:48:28 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Preston,
Good choice in the tell it like it is dept.  Goes to show all the garbage that some are oppossed and disgusted  with is the same stuff that has been ongoing since how many hours or days was it after the original thanksgiving feast?
Creativity and expression can come from many places in us.  Have at it Preston, no matter where or what.  Freedom of expression doesn’t mean only if it’s pretty.
Respectfully,
Martee
—– Original Message —– From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>; <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 9:18 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just sent me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most positive, happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on anyway, as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it is,” instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the Bush crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —– From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this ³prayer.² To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: [Ibogaine] borroughs
Date: November 25, 2004 at 11:13:37 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

What an interesting human being that man was.  I haven’t read any of h is
stuff, just bits and pieces, although I played this weird PC game that had
his voice over in it… really out there stuff!!  And that movie he was in..
with wassis name..Matt Dyllon. That one scene when he predicted the drug war
and civil rights being taken away….onto it man, was burroughs.


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From: CallieMimosa@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 11:10:54 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/25/2004 8:57:42 PM Central Standard Time, ptpeet@nyc.rr.com writes:
Instead, I’ll wish you a sincere happy holiday, and let it go.

Cool. Great reply Preston!

From: D H <dave@phantom.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 11:10:32 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thankx for this, Preston

I tend to agree with Borroughs.
_.dh

On Thursday, November 25, 2004, at 04:18 AM, Preston Peet wrote:

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human
dreams.”

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 10:25:57 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey Preston,
Sorry you got a negative on what sounded like a great day.  From my
experience I think it’s always easier to react to negative stuff, depending
on what we’ve learnt on the way…. usually lots of negativity, well just
look at the news to see what we are fed, which is why I don’t watch it!
I think it’s a matter of retraining ourselves…..and breaking old habits as
we ALLL Know here is hard!!
Just know you’re not the only one to react like this!
Hope you all had a good holiday….we just get Christmas here…which I feel
is more n enuff!
Luff lite n chocolate
Kirk

—–Original Message—–
From: Preston Peet [mailto:ptpeet@nyc.rr.com]
Sent: Friday, 26 November 2004 4:17 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Thank you Lee for the nice words.
Why is it that I at least (speaking only for myself) will see a number of
nice, positive notes, like yours, then get ONE, from someone I’ve never
heard of much less seen post, like this Paula person, and despite all the
nice words on and off list, I let the one super negative note affect me
most?
It’s like that with a lot of things in my life, the more negative, unhappy
vibes sent my way are the ones I often allow to affect me before I stop to
enjoy the positive ones. What’s up with that?
Ahh, I vent. I ate a lot more food than I have been lately, and am feeling
foggy and thick at the moment. I could use a bowl…oh, hold on, what do you

know, I just happen to have one too.
;-))

Which brings me to something which I have been experiencing in my sessions
with Eboga: War.<

I have to say this was something I too experienced a lot of visions of war
while under the influence of ibogaine.
Very scary scenes too. I didn’t think of them as much more than
generalizations of my own vibes and those of the world I live in- jnot
something that I was seeing that was “real” (other than for the scene where
I was in that battle in Najaf’s cemetary.)
Anyway, again, happy thanksgiving all, especially Faith and Paula.
;-0)))

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: Lee Albert
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 12:51 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Hi Preston,

Just want to say how much I enjoy some of your off topic posts.

I grew up as a boy an avid admirer of the US (Apollo / Music etc) but went
through college very much out of sympathy with the American establishment
particularly after I read about Chile and the overthrow of Allende.

However, the most recent posts (during the Presidential debate) have helped
me to distinguish between regular decent Americans and the not so decent
ones (who exist everywhere). It seems that even though the US is the richest

country in the world it is still a country with a lot of widespread
ignorance. Its a pity that education is not a priority in the US –
reflected in its budget. I guess a somewhat ignorant work force and a
consumer base is what makes the system “tick.” Not for long if your post is
anything to go by.

Which brings me to something which I have been experiencing in my sessions
with Eboga: War. I now find it appearing in my sessions from time to time.
In a recent session (while lying in my bed) I saw a soldier larger than
myself, march across my room in the midst of war. In other images I have
seen a completely wiped out city, nothing remaining but rubble, while tanks
and soldiers move slowly across this new open wasteland.

I am sorry to say but I believe things are going to get worse. I have also
seen water levels rising on low lying islands and environment destruction.

Many believe that such images are not to be taken literally. I believe it is

for the one who has them to decide whether they are to be taken literally or

not. I take them literally as either a warning or a future flash of where
things are going.

After having these images three thoughts came to mind:

1. Say “No” to war.
2. Leave the earth alone.
3. Fight the war inside before you fight the war outside.

Keep up the good work. Spreading information helps to fight disinformation.

Love & Peace

Lee

Preston Peet <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com> wrote:
Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.”
To:
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks fo! r a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

! (I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this ³prayer.²
To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

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http://www.my-eboga.com

Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media
available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Win a castle for NYE with your mates and Yahoo! Messenger

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 10:17:19 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thank you Lee for the nice words.
Why is it that I at least (speaking only for myself) will see a number of nice, positive notes, like yours, then get ONE, from someone I’ve never heard of much less seen post, like this Paula person, and despite all the nice words on and off list, I let the one super negative note affect me most?
It’s like that with a lot of things in my life, the more negative, unhappy vibes sent my way are the ones I often allow to affect me before I stop to enjoy the positive ones. What’s up with that?
Ahh, I vent. I ate a lot more food than I have been lately, and am feeling foggy and thick at the moment. I could use a bowl…oh, hold on, what do you know, I just happen to have one too.
;-))

Which brings me to something which I have been experiencing in my sessions with Eboga: War.<

I have to say this was something I too experienced a lot of visions of war while under the influence of ibogaine.
Very scary scenes too. I didn’t think of them as much more than generalizations of my own vibes and those of the world I live in- jnot something that I was seeing that was “real” (other than for the scene where I was in that battle in Najaf’s cemetary.)
Anyway, again, happy thanksgiving all, especially Faith and Paula.
;-0)))

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: Lee Albert
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 12:51 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Hi Preston,

Just want to say how much I enjoy some of your off topic posts.

I grew up as a boy an avid admirer of the US (Apollo / Music etc) but went through college very much out of sympathy with the American establishment particularly after I read about Chile and the overthrow of Allende.

However, the most recent posts (during the Presidential debate) have helped me to distinguish between regular decent Americans and the not so decent ones (who exist everywhere). It seems that even though the US is the richest country in the world it is still a country with a lot of widespread ignorance. Its a pity that education is not a priority in the US – reflected in its budget. I guess a somewhat ignorant work force and a consumer base is what makes the system “tick.” Not for long if your post is anything to go by.

Which brings me to something which I have been experiencing in my sessions with Eboga: War. I now find it appearing in my sessions from time to time. In a recent session (while lying in my bed) I saw a soldier larger than myself, march across my room in the midst of war. In other images I have seen a completely wiped out city, nothing remaining but rubble, while tanks and soldiers move slowly across this new open wasteland.

I am sorry to say but I believe things are going to get worse. I have also seen water levels rising on low lying islands and environment destruction.

Many believe that such images are not to be taken literally. I believe it is for the one who has them to decide whether they are to be taken literally or not. I take them literally as either a warning or a future flash of where things are going.

After having these images three thoughts came to mind:

1. Say “No” to war.
2. Leave the earth alone.
3. Fight the war inside before you fight the war outside.

Keep up the good work. Spreading information helps to fight disinformation.

Love & Peace

Lee

Preston Peet <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com> wrote:
Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —– From: “Mickey Z.”
To:
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks fo! r a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

! (I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this ³prayer.² To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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http://www.my-eboga.com

Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Win a castle for NYE with your mates and Yahoo! Messenger

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 9:57:27 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

seriously, who the hell are you and what have you done with your life Paula? What gives with this fucked up note from you?
I’m amazed at how much power I’m giving you, but your note hasn’t done a thing to help lighten my mood at all. As a matter of fact, I’ve been feeling pretty good, having spent hours with lots of friends having lots of good vegan food for Thanksgiving, not contributing to hate, death or fear in the least bit today, but then I open up your note and allow myself to be really pissed off at you. This isn’t right, so suffice it to say I’m struggling with the urge to tell you all sorts of mean nasty ugly things but feel you are correct in that it’s no good trying to drag others down when I’m feeling angry or upset, so I won’t curse at you- even though I do really want to.
Instead, I’ll wish you a sincere happy holiday, and let it go.

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Paula” <paulab@shaw.ca>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:53 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

You know what you really need to lighten up….please…if your downward
spiral into despair requires companions I don’t think the rest of us want to
go there…we are trying to come up not drive ourselves deeper…use some
brain cells next time assuming there are a few left Pleeeeaaassseee…Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>; <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:18 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most
positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it
is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil
faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of
human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this ³prayer.²
To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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[%]

\]=———————————————————————=[/

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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/]=———————————————————————=[\
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\]=———————————————————————=[/

From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT)what the fuc…?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 9:53:05 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi there Paula and happy Thanksgiving right back attacha.
I don’t know who you are, never seen you post before, and I am really irritated you bothered to post this reply to my post.
Who are you? Why are you bothering being a bitch to me personally? What’s up with that?
So, you know what Paula? Please simply delete my messages from here on out and put my email address in your “delete unread” folder so I don’t have to worry about your bitchy, snotty, come outta nowhere replies.
Thanks kindly and have a great evening.
To the rest of you, peace and love, sincerely. I appreciate this list a lot and most of its participants- whom I consider for the most part my compatriots and “companions” not to mention even a bit of a support group. (And btw, do you even know who William S. Burroughs is Paula? How ’bout Mickey Z.? Do you care? Or do you simply blurt out nastiness from lurkerville at strangers on line for a hobby?) The lurkers who come outta nowhere though, egad, what’s up with that personal animosity and negativity? Who is this person? Should I care?

Again, Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Paula” <paulab@shaw.ca>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:53 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

You know what you really need to lighten up….please…if your downward
spiral into despair requires companions I don’t think the rest of us want to
go there…we are trying to come up not drive ourselves deeper…use some
brain cells next time assuming there are a few left Pleeeeaaassseee…Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>; <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:18 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most
positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it
is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil
faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of
human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this ³prayer.²
To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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[%]

\]=———————————————————————=[/

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: FW: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 8:35:26 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Sending again, it seemed to get lost in cyber space!
Spock, was that you messing up????
k
—–Original Message—–
From: Capt Kirk [mailto:captkirk@free.net.nz]
Sent: Friday, 26 November 2004 2:03 p.m.
To: ‘ibogaine@mindvox.com’
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ?

Hey there,
Well when I first heard about the tea, my partner and I were taking 2 and a
half cups in the morning and same at night.  We would measure out the seed
into an ice cream container, put about a  cap of concentrated lime juice on
it and mix, then boiled the jug, covered seed and rinsed twice.  It depends
on the person and their need for the high, but I was only using it to be
“normal” and not get a high. I managed to work for 4 years using the seed.
Lately though I have increased to 1 Kilo a day.  I heard of a guy who is on
4 kilo plus 80 mg of methadone a day!!! So, yeh all depends on the person.
Doing it the way we do also makes it easy to drink, the lime improves
flavor!
There’s a lot of people using the seed here in Dunedin due to a 6-9 month
waiting list for the methadone and a constant lack of any other drug.  Don’t
come to Dunedin if you’re looking for a constant supply lol.
Well, hope that helps you!
Kirsty


Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.801 / Virus Database: 544 – Release Date: 11/24/2004


Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.801 / Virus Database: 544 – Release Date: 11/24/2004

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 8:30:44 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

can you email me of forum on this? getting mixed info that could be dangerous, thanks for your concern and offer.\,R
—– Original Message —–
From: IBEGINAGAIN@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 11:36 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron and list,
The only substance i have not had success with treating with ibogaine so far has been with the long lasting benzos.  I have had success with detoxing off of 70 to 100 mgs.of short lasting benzos such as xanax and valium during a 2 and 3 day day protocol.  The long lasting ones are unbearable and require decreasing dosages very gradually over a couple to a few month time depending upon the quantity someone is doing.

Eric

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 8:26:50 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

hi paula:
hope it’s not me dragging everyone down. i’m just trying to survive . ron
—– Original Message —– From: “Paula” <paulab@shaw.ca>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:53 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

You know what you really need to lighten up….please…if your downward
spiral into despair requires companions I don’t think the rest of us want to
go there…we are trying to come up not drive ourselves deeper…use some
brain cells next time assuming there are a few left Pleeeeaaassseee…Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>; <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:18 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most
positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it
is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil
faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of
human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this ³prayer.²
To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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[%]

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/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 8:24:15 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

god knows i need them and appreciate it. many thanks as i c/n do this alone. R
—– Original Message —–
From: Lee Albert
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 3:37 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hang in there. There are a lot of souls in your corner right now.

Ron Davis <rwd3@cox.net> wrote:
not far from mobile and am spending a quiet day with both parents, getting ready to shave pop now.  thanks for your concern
—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 12:48 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
Talk to your father if possible, even if it’s seems that he cant’heard you and write to us .
Where are you located ?
God bless you
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Ron Davis
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 10:46 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

terrified, thanks for asking, father on death bed and ibo won’t work for a very dangerous situation i have place myself in. thank you for your concern and well wishes and prayer.  i d/n know if i will make it, peace , ron
—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:16 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
How do you do now? Being praying for you.
Kindest regards
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Capt Kirk
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.
It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.
I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.
Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.
All the best to you and yours
Kia Kaha (stay strong)
Kirsty
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME
Jasen.

—
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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ? Dear Kirsty
Date: November 25, 2004 at 8:08:27 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Julie,
See my other message for our seed recipe!!
We bought the seed originally from the supermarket, but then we got cheeky
and pretended to be a cleaning and catering outfit and bought straight from
the bakers supplier. Supermarket costs $7 per kilo whereas we were getting
it for $4 a kilo from the supplier and buying $25 kilo at a time.  Now it is
$6 a kilo.
Wow, they charge for methadone??? It’s free here!!
And yes, the withdrawal was as bad, and lasted 3 weeks also from the seed.
I’m looking at getting a homeopathic remedy for insecticide/pesticide
poisoning as this seems to be a big part of the suffering during detox.
As for benzos, well call me weird but I’ve always loved the hangovers for a
couple of days after!!  It seems to take me to a state I used to be when I
was straight…..wierd I know.  And weirder still I’ve never become addicted
to them.  They’ve just been a once in a while treat or a tool to use when
detoxing.  I guess ciggs and opiates are enough to contend with!
Kirsty

—–Original Message—–
From: Ms Iboga [mailto:ms_iboga@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, 26 November 2004 5:10 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ? Dear Kirsty

Hi Kirsty,

Wow- you found the withdrawal from PT and
METHADONE(??) to be about the same?  Personally, I
have never found a drug that approximated the
discomfort I experienced from methadone- just the 2-3
week duration alone was too much to bear.  I wonder if
the seeds are difficult to digest, and thus get stored
in your body, taking a long time to break down and
excrete.  After 25 days of clean time, methadone was
still detected in my urine.

Most of my opiophile friends in Toronto use poppy bulb
tea, not poppy seed.  Do you use an acetyl group- like
lemon juice- to release the opiate?  What is your
recipe?  Will methadone really be cheaper than PT?  I
know here in Toronto an ounce of Papaver Somniferum
seeds retails for $3-5 dollars, while methadone ranges
from $5.50-7.25 PER DAY!

Also, benzos SUCK- I found weed more of a natural
relaxant/sleep-promoter.  There is nothing like waking
from a benzo sleep, feeling worse than you did the
night before.  Benzos interrupt your natural circadian
rhythms- it’s more like a blackout/coma than anything
approximating natural sleep.  I would rather get 3-4
hours of normal, multi-level sleep, than 8 hours of
comatose unconsciousness.

BTW, I like your handle.  My fave Star Trek has got to
be Voyager, but I dig the rest of them too.  Anyways,
greetings from Toronto, and best of luck.

luv Julie

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 8:02:51 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey there,
Well when I first heard about the tea, my partner and I were taking 2 and a
half cups in the morning and same at night.  We would measure out the seed
into an ice cream container, put about a  cap of concentrated lime juice on
it and mix, then boiled the jug, covered seed and rinsed twice.  It depends
on the person and their need for the high, but I was only using it to be
“normal” and not get a high. I managed to work for 4 years using the seed.
Lately though I have increased to 1 Kilo a day.  I heard of a guy who is on
4 kilo plus 80 mg of methadone a day!!! So, yeh all depends on the person.
Doing it the way we do also makes it easy to drink, the lime improves
flavor!
There’s a lot of people using the seed here in Dunedin due to a 6-9 month
waiting list for the methadone and a constant lack of any other drug.  Don’t
come to Dunedin if you’re looking for a constant supply lol.
Well, hope that helps you!
Kirsty


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From: Paula <paulab@shaw.ca>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 7:53:03 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

You know what you really need to lighten up….please…if your downward
spiral into despair requires companions I don’t think the rest of us want to
go there…we are trying to come up not drive ourselves deeper…use some
brain cells next time assuming there are a few left Pleeeeaaassseee…Paula
—– Original Message —–
From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>; <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:18 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most
positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it
is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil
faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of
human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this ³prayer.²
To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

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From: “Hannah Clay” <hannah.clay@ntlworld.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 5:11:40 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

A friend had some 2c-i last weekend which is like a stronger 2c-b.  Its basically like E mixed with acid.  He tripped hi bollox off but said he still felt straight and in control.  It was powder form.

Sounds nice!
Hannah x
—– Original Message —–
From: Lee Albert
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:05 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?

Dear Julie,

Before I got into eboga I was interested in MDMA as a way to deal with childhood abuse. I had read that it can restore empathy in people who have become cut off. Anyway along came eboga before MDMA and so I did eboga and then by luck was introduced to an MDMA therapist in Germany with whom I did 3 guided MDMA sessions – pure MDMA about 150+mg with a 50 mg booster (off the top of my head).

I had amazing experiences. Although I found the physical after effects very tough. Mostly I drifted off somewhere ….. but I had experiences of spiritual entities and also physical healing where I saw the molecules joining together in my lower back where I had severe pain before. That area has been A ok since – if not perfect. That’s about 4 years ago.

I think the effects of MDMA depend on the set and setting and the persons motivation and where they are in that moment. Most do not report visuals.

Lee

Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hi group,

I celebrated my birthday this weekend, and ended up
having a profound mystical experience. Yes, it
involved drugs; and NO, I don’t feel regret or guilt.

My boyfriend and I started by ingesting one tab of
MDMA, and ended up taking a few more over quite a few
hours, as we felt they were somewhat weak. Upon
ingesting the last pill, we retired to bed- my
boyfriend watching cartoons, and me, shutting my eyes
and relaxing.

About 20 minutes later, I started to experience some
incredible closed eye visuals, like nothing I had ever
experienced before. These were PURE neon-technicolor,
likened only to animation and possibly sunlight
filtering through stained glass. To make a long story
short, I have NEVER experienced anything like it, and
I have done my share of psychedelics. The visuals had
to be almost coerced, I had to concentrate to help
them ‘breakthrough’; but when they did, OH MI
GOD..they were so beautiful, so vivid and colourful,
that I had what could only be described as a
sensory/mind orgasm.

I’m wondering if these E’s were cut with something,
maybe MDA or 2C-B. I felt like I was tapping my
unconscious mind- like it was sending me info in
pictoral form. I had the realization that my
unconscious is, and always has been, storing ideas,
impressions and opinions in visual form (sans the
constructs of language or abstract thought), and that
this visual vocabulary somehow forms the basis of my
dreams. Some of my hallucinations seemed to strongly
favour this, but I won’t get into that right
now…Needless to say, I made peace with a few things
from my past…

Anyways, enough rambling…anyone had a psychedelic
experience on MDMA?

love Julie

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From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 4:37:06 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hang in there. There are a lot of souls in your corner right now.

Ron Davis <rwd3@cox.net> wrote:
not far from mobile and am spending a quiet day with both parents, getting ready to shave pop now.  thanks for your concern
—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 12:48 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
Talk to your father if possible, even if it’s seems that he cant’heard you and write to us .
Where are you located ?
God bless you
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Ron Davis
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 10:46 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

terrified, thanks for asking, father on death bed and ibo won’t work for a very dangerous situation i have place myself in. thank you for your concern and well wishes and prayer.  i d/n know if i will make it, peace , ron
—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:16 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
How do you do now? Being praying for you.
Kindest regards
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Capt Kirk
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.
It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.
I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.
Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.
All the best to you and yours
Kia Kaha (stay strong)
Kirsty
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME
Jasen.

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From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 4:35:45 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Julie,

I am more than happy to chat off list and quite interested to get some insight into what you are experiencing in this area. I would have to go back to my notes on those experiences as I have tracked them as part of my journey for my writings.

I have to say though I am not so sure about MDMA’s effectiveness. I returned to eboga shortly after and have had very profound healing of specific abuse issues etc.via eboga. I probably do not have enough experience to pass serious judgement on MDMA but I do think all past trauma requires a deep reconnection which MDMA by its very nature (imo) excludes i.e. you dont feel the disgust of abuse on MDMA as it is very much a heart opening experience. Whereas on eboga I have felt deep disgust at what has happened to me and deep anger. Also deep pain. All very healing and liberating. With MDMA I guess it can have therapeutic benefit as it allows one to look without fear but that is not enough for a full cure imo.

Anyway, write me off list. Over the next 24 hours though I am pretty busy working with a friend.

Nice to connect with you and I enjoyed your description of death. Its nice to be able to look beyond the physical death to the continuation of the soul.

Lee
Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com> wrote:
Dear Lee,

I totally agree with you! I believe MDMA(the purer,
the better) can impart to the user the ability to not
only vocalize, but also to deal with trauma. Isn’t
MAPS pushing to legalize MDMA for PTSD psychotherapy?

All I know, is that I have been somewhat afraid of
death my whole life, due to my mom dying when I was
young. This weekend, while on MDMA, I had the most
profound vision- I was immersed in a shallow pool of
mountain water, looking up at a ring of tall pine
trees, haloed by the Northern Lights. I can’t explain
how, but I knew I was dead, lying there in the water.
I felt at peace with the notion of my death for the
first time in my life. And a thought occurred to me:
Death is like a cool mountain stream that gently
passes over you..Needless to say, it blew my mind.

I have a feeling that what I ingested was NOT just
MDMA, but might have been boosted with a synthetic
psychedelic like MDA, or any of the 2-C family. My
boyfriend thinks it was MDME rather than MDMA, but I
have no clue. It was like experiencing the best of
the psychedelic experience-without the gut-rot,
paranoia, and occassional ‘creepiness’- with the calm
serenity of XTC. Brilliant!

I had many other visions, but I don’t want to bore
everyone here. I would love to hear some of your
experiences.. Wanna chat offlist?

Julie

__________________________________
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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 2:31:56 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

not far from mobile and am spending a quiet day with both parents, getting ready to shave pop now.  thanks for your concern
—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 12:48 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
Talk to your father if possible, even if it’s seems that he cant’heard you and write to us .
Where are you located ?
God bless you
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Ron Davis
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 10:46 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

terrified, thanks for asking, father on death bed and ibo won’t work for a very dangerous situation i have place myself in. thank you for your concern and well wishes and prayer.  i d/n know if i will make it, peace , ron
—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:16 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
How do you do now? Being praying for you.
Kindest regards
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Capt Kirk
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.
It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.
I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.
Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.
All the best to you and yours
Kia Kaha (stay strong)
Kirsty
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME
Jasen.

—
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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 2:22:49 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear Lee,

I totally agree with you!  I believe MDMA(the purer,
the better) can impart to the user the ability to not
only vocalize, but also to deal with trauma.  Isn’t
MAPS pushing to legalize MDMA for PTSD psychotherapy?

All I know, is that I have been somewhat afraid of
death my whole life, due to my mom dying when I was
young.  This weekend, while on MDMA, I had the most
profound vision- I was immersed in a shallow pool of
mountain water, looking up at a ring of tall pine
trees, haloed by the Northern Lights.  I can’t explain
how, but I knew I was dead, lying there in the water.
I felt at peace with the notion of my death for the
first time in my life.  And a thought occurred to me:
Death is like a cool mountain stream that gently
passes over you..Needless to say, it blew my mind.

I have a feeling that what I ingested was NOT just
MDMA, but might have been boosted with a synthetic
psychedelic like MDA, or any of the 2-C family.  My
boyfriend thinks it was MDME rather than MDMA, but I
have no clue.  It was like experiencing the best of
the psychedelic experience-without the gut-rot,
paranoia, and occassional ‘creepiness’- with the calm
serenity of XTC.  Brilliant!

I had many other visions, but I don’t want to bore
everyone here.  I would love to hear some of your
experiences.. Wanna chat offlist?

Julie

__________________________________
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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 2:10:21 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Lee,

Talk about synchronicity!  My dreams, and my recent
psychedelic endeavours, have been saturated with
images of war/violence.  I think this is due in part
to the innundation of violent images on news programs.
Or, perhaps the collective unconscious is saturated
to the max with images of our fellow man being
murdered, tortured, humiliated, etc…….

Lee, I enjoy your posts too…they seem to have a lot
of heart, insight and mysticism.  Very cool…

Julie

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 1:58:46 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

spending quasi sober day with pop, shaving him, not feeling sorry for self.  grateful for the last go with him. tapering, but in layman’s methods, i.e. break a piece off periodically.  some pros got me scared of instant seizure and stroke. there’s no high for me out there. i have a tolerance for everything. thanks for responding on your day off and giving me hope.  i’m a fearful person.  you don’t have to tough love me to death, i above most others know i put myself here, am powereless and seek god’s loving prescence.  the chemicals keep me from feeling that and doing for others. right now it’s take care of folks, stay straight except for taper amount and do a good job or give my best game to clients.  thanks for your time. ron
—– Original Message —–
From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 12:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Man makes plans and God laughs. All will be well. Make peace with your dad- sober or not, tell him you love him, you will see him again , of that I am sure. You can help others today- right now

It will make you feel bettr and get you out of yourself.

When hings mellow out, I hope to meet you and refer you to that person who will do a very, very slow taper that you ask for.

From: “The Garden” <GardenRestaurant@comcast.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 1:48:22 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Ron
Talk to your father if possible, even if it’s seems that he cant’heard you and write to us .
Where are you located ?
God bless you
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Ron Davis
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 10:46 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

terrified, thanks for asking, father on death bed and ibo won’t work for a very dangerous situation i have place myself in. thank you for your concern and well wishes and prayer.  i d/n know if i will make it, peace , ron
—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:16 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
How do you do now? Being praying for you.
Kindest regards
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Capt Kirk
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.
It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.
I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.
Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.
All the best to you and yours
Kia Kaha (stay strong)
Kirsty
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME
Jasen.

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From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 1:16:41 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Please please do this… All Ibo takers should be of meth for 72 hours prior to Ibo. Switch to short acting opiates. Morphine, hydro or oxy , all work well. Dilaudid works well. You do not want any Meth on board when Noribo is around. Remember, the 1/2 life of meth is 24 hours. So 1/2 of todays dose is still there tomorro and 1/4 of 1st days dose is there on day 3.

Will Meth and nor compete for Mu and kappa sites? who knows.

From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 1:13:34 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Man makes plans and God laughs. All will be well. Make peace with your dad- sober or not, tell him you love him, you will see him again , of that I am sure. You can help others today- right now

It will make you feel bettr and get you out of yourself.

When hings mellow out, I hope to meet you and refer you to that person who will do a very, very slow taper that you ask for.

From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 1:05:23 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear Julie,

Before I got into eboga I was interested in MDMA as a way to deal with childhood abuse. I had read that it can restore empathy in people who have become cut off. Anyway along came eboga before MDMA and so I did eboga and then by luck was introduced to an MDMA therapist in Germany with whom I did 3 guided MDMA sessions – pure MDMA about 150+mg with a 50 mg booster (off the top of my head).

I had amazing experiences. Although I found the physical after effects very tough. Mostly I drifted off somewhere ….. but I had experiences of spiritual entities and also physical healing where I saw the molecules joining together in my lower back where I had severe pain before. That area has been A ok since – if not perfect. That’s about 4 years ago.

I think the effects of MDMA depend on the set and setting and the persons motivation and where they are in that moment. Most do not report visuals.

Lee

Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hi group,

I celebrated my birthday this weekend, and ended up
having a profound mystical experience. Yes, it
involved drugs; and NO, I don’t feel regret or guilt.

My boyfriend and I started by ingesting one tab of
MDMA, and ended up taking a few more over quite a few
hours, as we felt they were somewhat weak. Upon
ingesting the last pill, we retired to bed- my
boyfriend watching cartoons, and me, shutting my eyes
and relaxing.

About 20 minutes later, I started to experience some
incredible closed eye visuals, like nothing I had ever
experienced before. These were PURE neon-technicolor,
likened only to animation and possibly sunlight
filtering through stained glass. To make a long story
short, I have NEVER experienced anything like it, and
I have done my share of psychedelics. The visuals had
to be almost coerced, I had to concentrate to help
them ‘breakthrough’; but when they did, OH MI
GOD..they were so beautiful, so vivid and colourful,
that I had what could only be described as a
sensory/mind orgasm.

I’m wondering if these E’s were cut with something,
maybe MDA or 2C-B. I felt like I was tapping my
unconscious mind- like it was sending me info in
pictoral form. I had the realization that my
unconscious is, and always has been, storing ideas,
impressions and opinions in visual form (sans the
constructs of language or abstract thought), and that
this visual vocabulary somehow forms the basis of my
dreams. Some of my hallucinations seemed to strongly
favour this, but I won’t get into that right
now…Needless to say, I made peace with a few things
from my past…

Anyways, enough rambling…anyone had a psychedelic
experience on MDMA?

love Julie

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Meet the all-new My Yahoo! – Try it today!
http://my.yahoo.com

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Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Win a castle for NYE with your mates and Yahoo! Messenger

From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 12:51:13 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Preston,

Just want to say how much I enjoy some of your off topic posts.

I grew up as a boy an avid admirer of the US (Apollo / Music etc) but went through college very much out of sympathy with the American establishment particularly after I read about Chile and the overthrow of Allende.

However, the most recent posts (during the Presidential debate) have helped me to distinguish between regular decent Americans and the not so decent ones (who exist everywhere). It seems that even though the US is the richest country in the world it is still a country with a lot of widespread ignorance. Its a pity that education is not a priority in the US –  reflected in its budget. I guess a somewhat ignorant work force and a consumer base is what makes the system “tick.” Not for long if your post is anything to go by.

Which brings me to something which I have been experiencing in my sessions with Eboga: War. I now find it appearing in my sessions from time to time. In a recent session (while lying in my bed) I saw a soldier larger than myself, march across my room in the midst of war. In other images I have seen a completely wiped out city, nothing remaining but rubble, while tanks and soldiers move slowly across this new open wasteland.

I am sorry to say but I believe things are going to get worse. I have also seen water levels rising on low lying islands and environment destruction.

Many believe that such images are not to be taken literally. I believe it is for the one who has them to decide whether they are to be taken literally or not. I take them literally as either a warning or a future flash of where things are going.

After having these images three thoughts came to mind:

1. Say “No” to war.
2. Leave the earth alone.
3. Fight the war inside before you fight the war outside.

Keep up the good work. Spreading information helps to fight disinformation.

Love & Peace

Lee

Preston Peet <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com> wrote:
Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just sent
me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols
btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most positive,
happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on anyway,
as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it is,”
instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the Bush
crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —–
From: “Mickey Z.”
To:
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this ³prayer.² To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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http://www.my-eboga.com

Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Win a castle for NYE with your mates and Yahoo! Messenger

From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Way, way off topic_Mystical Experience with MDMA + ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 12:31:39 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi group,

I celebrated my birthday this weekend, and ended up
having a profound mystical experience.  Yes, it
involved drugs; and NO, I don’t feel regret or guilt.

My boyfriend and I started by ingesting one tab of
MDMA, and ended up taking a few more over quite a few
hours, as we felt they were somewhat weak.  Upon
ingesting the last pill, we retired to bed- my
boyfriend watching cartoons, and me, shutting my eyes
and relaxing.

About 20 minutes later, I started to experience some
incredible closed eye visuals, like nothing I had ever
experienced before.  These were PURE neon-technicolor,
likened only to animation and possibly sunlight
filtering through stained glass.  To make a long story
short, I have NEVER experienced anything like it, and
I have done my share of psychedelics.  The visuals had
to be almost coerced, I had to concentrate to help
them ‘breakthrough’;  but when they did, OH MI
GOD..they were so beautiful, so vivid and colourful,
that I had what could only be described as a
sensory/mind orgasm.

I’m wondering if these E’s were cut with something,
maybe MDA or 2C-B.  I felt like I was tapping my
unconscious mind- like it was sending me info in
pictoral form.  I had the realization that my
unconscious is, and always has been,  storing ideas,
impressions and opinions in visual form (sans the
constructs of language or abstract thought), and that
this visual vocabulary somehow forms the basis of my
dreams.  Some of my hallucinations seemed to strongly
favour this, but I won’t get into that right
now…Needless to say, I made peace with a few things
from my past…

Anyways, enough rambling…anyone had a psychedelic
experience on MDMA?

love Julie

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Meet the all-new My Yahoo! – Try it today!
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 25, 2004 at 12:17:28 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Fake Placebo,

Howard is right…sleep disorders are common among
recovering users.  My doc says it can take a few
months to normalize.  He also said that insomnia is a
driving force in returning to opiates- keep that in
perspective…

Be well, and heal thyself,

love Julie

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The all-new My Yahoo! – Get yours free!
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 25, 2004 at 12:15:22 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear Fake Placebo,

Glad to hear you are doing well…Ibogaine rocks, no?

Please post your experience as soon as you feel well
enough.  You’re from Turkey, right?  I’m interested in
hearing about drug use in Turkey also…

Cheers, and lots of love,

Julie, from Toronto

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Meet the all-new My Yahoo! – Try it today!
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 25, 2004 at 11:59:09 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/25/04 11:55:21 AM, fakeplacebo@hotmail.com writes:

Iboga realy works; I feel better day after day. But I’m steel weak and
to sleep is very dificult. I have no crawings or withdrawal. I will write
you total treatment story, it has started very bad but results are enough
good for me.

Superb!!  Always good to hear a good report.  But, then in my opinion there
are few bad reports.  Looking forward for your full report. Sleeping is often
difficult in drug dependent as well as, non drug dependent subjects.

Howard

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From: “FakePlacebo” <fakeplacebo@hotmail.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] I’m alive
Date: November 25, 2004 at 11:53:17 AM EST
To: “Summary” <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hey List,

Iboga realy works; I feel better day after day. But I’m steel weak and to sleep is very dificult. I have no crawings or withdrawal. I will write you total treatment story, it has started very bad but results are enough good for me.

Best Regards
FakePlacebo

From: Ms Iboga <ms_iboga@yahoo.com>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ? Dear Kirsty
Date: November 25, 2004 at 11:09:32 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Kirsty,

Wow- you found the withdrawal from PT and
METHADONE(??) to be about the same?  Personally, I
have never found a drug that approximated the
discomfort I experienced from methadone- just the 2-3
week duration alone was too much to bear.  I wonder if
the seeds are difficult to digest, and thus get stored
in your body, taking a long time to break down and
excrete.  After 25 days of clean time, methadone was
still detected in my urine.

Most of my opiophile friends in Toronto use poppy bulb
tea, not poppy seed.  Do you use an acetyl group- like
lemon juice- to release the opiate?  What is your
recipe?  Will methadone really be cheaper than PT?  I
know here in Toronto an ounce of Papaver Somniferum
seeds retails for $3-5 dollars, while methadone ranges
from $5.50-7.25 PER DAY!

Also, benzos SUCK- I found weed more of a natural
relaxant/sleep-promoter.  There is nothing like waking
from a benzo sleep, feeling worse than you did the
night before.  Benzos interrupt your natural circadian
rhythms- it’s more like a blackout/coma than anything
approximating natural sleep.  I would rather get 3-4
hours of normal, multi-level sleep, than 8 hours of
comatose unconsciousness.

BTW, I like your handle.  My fave Star Trek has got to
be Voyager, but I dig the rest of them too.  Anyways,
greetings from Toronto, and best of luck.

luv Julie

__________________________________________________
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Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 9:32:13 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

I admit not hearing about strictly poppy tea alone, and am wondering how much seed it takes to make enough tea to feel. I used to drink poppy bulb tea, right after getting off methadone, and did have a problem when ending that little experiement with physical withdrawals, so understand your stress and withdrawals fears, but am curious as to that amount needed of seeds to be effective. Not that I’m even thinking of going that route myself (I hated the tea for the most part, but feeling I had to go through the bitter to get to the sweet, as it were, I continued drinking it for a good year at least) again, but could you please give us more info on this?
Thanks, and best of luck and thoughts your direction.

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 2:02 AM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ?

Hi Rachel,
Thank you very much for your point of view, it is much appreciated. Several
reasons for switching:- cost, although not huge still big enough to matter:-
and a few months ago I had a bit of a meltdown and have been using more
seed, so I have decided to put it in the hands of the clinic and when I want
to decrease, it’s not entirely up to me to stick with it!!! Besides, I have
detoxed off both methadone and seed, there’s not much difference, and I
think that is mainly because of pesticides etc in the seed, would be an
interesting test to be drinking only organic seed, but availability and cost
would probably make this difficult!!
I have no problems with benzos so any discomfort after Ibo can be eased with
them.
I’m really looking forward to making the change from teenager to adult! I
missed that transition when I began my drug taking!
Thanks again Rachel, and all the best with you and Jeff.
Regards
Kirsty


Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT) fwd- burroughs’ thanksgiving/links
Date: November 25, 2004 at 9:18:35 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>, <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi guys,
A friend, Mickey Z (author of the new The Seven Deadly Sins) just sent me the following Burroughs poem, (Burroughs is one of my all time idols btw), along with the two links that follow it. This isn’t the most positive, happy note I’ve ever gotten on Thanksgiving, but I’m passing it on anyway, as it is a hard-hitting, brutally honest example of “telling it like it is,” instead of the crap we’re handed each day by our Boob tubes and the Bush crew and their supporters’ pipe dreams.
Peace and love,
Preston

—– Original Message —– From: “Mickey Z.” <mzx2@earthlink.net>
To: <mzx2@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:27 PM
Subject: Burroughs: Thanksgiving Prayer

“Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeon
destined to be shit out
through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream: To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare
lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.
Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind the own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memoriesSall right, let’s see your arms.
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human
dreams.”

–William S. Burroughs (1988)

(I wrote a Thanksgiving article in 2002 that incorporated this ³prayer.² To
read it, please click here:
http://www.zmag.org/content/Miscellaneous/z_givingthanks.cfm)

And now for the bad news:
http://207.44.245.159/article7364.htm

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

/]=———————————————————————=[\
[%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%]
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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jason, treatment report,
Date: November 25, 2004 at 6:14:06 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Sorry Jasen, if I wrote Jason, it because it’s sounds like it.

Van: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Verzonden: donderdag 25 november 2004 9:18
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: [Ibogaine] Jason, treatment report,

Jason said:

“I kissed the face of God, and she was beautiful. Feeling fantastic, Iboga seems to concerted on addiction ,on a spiritual way,
If you withdrawn from Heroin or any other crutch an believe you are not addicted any more , there is the spiritual side to encounter,
You must be healed spiritually by Iboga,
Spiritually exhaustion.”

Blessings  to all,

Sara

From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jason, treatment report,
Date: November 25, 2004 at 3:18:02 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Jason said:

“I kissed the face of God, and she was beautiful. Feeling fantastic, Iboga seems to concerted on addiction ,on a spiritual way,
If you withdrawn from Heroin or any other crutch an believe you are not addicted any more , there is the spiritual side to encounter,
You must be healed spiritually by Iboga,
Spiritually exhaustion.”

Blessings  to all,

Sara

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 2:32:42 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

i hear the short acting ones are most difficult to taper, e.g. xanex, ativan rd
—– Original Message —– From: <HSLotsof@aol.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 12:53 AM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

In a message dated 11/25/04 12:37:38 AM, IBEGINAGAIN@aol.com writes:

<< The long lasting ones are
unbearable and require decreasing dosages very gradually over a couple to a
few month
time depending upon the quantity someone is doing. >>

Hi Eric,

Which benzos are you classifying as long lasting? Thanks

Howard

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 2:30:24 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

thank you for the kind words. this is my first go around with death in the family. ron
—– Original Message —–
From: D H
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 10:50 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Dealing with the death (or pending death) of a parent is one of the toughest challenges I’ve had to face. One cannot completely prepare for the emotions and feelings that surface (with a timeline and mind of their own). My Mom passed 4 years ago, and yes addiction killed her. alcohol, pain meds and an abusive husband (the prior in response to the latter). She died of a brain hemmorage (sic) that resulted from an all out drunken tumble down the staircase, which was the finale to a 4 week bender of ingesting nothing much besides straight Vodka, painkillers and copius amounts of her blood thining medication Cumadin (sic). Her heart was also shot from several decades of drinking -thus the blood thinner and pacemaker (Vodka and Dilaudid was her favorite). The blood thinner only made the hemoraging worse.

I still find myself being very, very upset. I flew back in time to see her alive in the hospital, and it was a ghastly affair. she was a total mess. couldn’t speak, but she could see us and hear us. Unfortunately that is my lasting impression of her, all hooked up to IV’s and Monitors, one humongus bruise the entire length of her face. My father in ignorant denial, telling us she is going to be OK, she just had a little fall, the doctor standing by with no comment. Dad had his blinders on for 20 years during the worst of her drinking, unwilling to face the facts, and here he was, still completely ignorant of what had happened. Completely unaware of his hand in the situation.

So when I start to mourn her death, I try also to celebrate her life (even tho a very large part of me despises her for not leaving my father 30 years ago)… She did a lot of good for a lot of people – raised 4 kids who, on the whole, are healthy. She made the best Strawberry Shortcake in New England. She volunteered thousands of hours at the local church helping people less fortunate than she. And through her shortcomings, she taught me some valuable lessons. She always helped me when I was at my worst, even tho it was in secret, she helped me ‘get well’ many a time via western union. And most of all, she gave me this precious gift called life, for which I am extremely grateful for. Its taken me many years to be able to say that and mean it from the core of my being.

I would liked her to have stuck around to meet her granddaughter face to face, but I know she is looking over us now, and is very proud of what I have made out of a one-time shattered existence.

I know what it feels like Ron, and just wanted to say, you’re not alone. The fact that you are here seeking help/support speaks volumes.

Stay the course, you CAN make it!

_.DH

On Wednesday, November 24, 2004, at 05:46 PM, Ron Davis wrote:

terrified, thanks for asking, father on death bed and ibo won’t work for a very dangerous situation i have place myself in. thank you for your concern and well wishes and prayer.  i d/n know if i will make it, peace , ron

—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:16 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
How do you do now? Being praying for you.
Kindest regards
F

—– Original Message —–
From: Capt Kirk
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.

It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.

I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.

Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.

All the best to you and yours

Kia Kaha (stay strong)

Kirsty

 

<image.tiff>

From:Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl]
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

 

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME

Jasen.


Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 2:02:27 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Rachel,
Thank you very much for your point of view, it is much appreciated. Several
reasons for switching:- cost, although not huge still big enough to matter:-
and a few months ago I had a bit of a meltdown and have been using more
seed, so I have decided to put it in the hands of the clinic and when I want
to decrease, it’s not entirely up to me to stick with it!!! Besides, I have
detoxed off both methadone and seed, there’s not much difference, and I
think that is mainly because of pesticides etc in the seed, would be an
interesting test to be drinking only organic seed, but availability and cost
would probably make this difficult!!
I have no problems with benzos so any discomfort after Ibo can be eased with
them.
I’m really looking forward to making the change from teenager to adult! I
missed that transition when I began my drug taking!
Thanks again Rachel, and all the best with you and Jeff.
Regards
Kirsty


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From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 1:53:35 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/25/04 12:37:38 AM, IBEGINAGAIN@aol.com writes:

<< The long lasting ones are
unbearable and require decreasing dosages very gradually over a couple to a
few month
time depending upon the quantity someone is doing. >>

Hi Eric,

Which benzos are you classifying as long lasting? Thanks

Howard

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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine],to sara from ron
Date: November 25, 2004 at 12:55:31 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

—–Oorspronkelijk bericht—–
Van: HSLotsof@aol.com [mailto:HSLotsof@aol.com]
Verzonden: donderdag 25 november 2004 5:45
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine],to sara from ron

In a message dated 11/24/04 11:36:20 PM, rwd3@cox.net writes:

<< how i envy those you help. unfortunately, according to all i’ve read and

have been told by  those smarter than i, ibo won’t work on my benzo thing.

if you hear otherwise, please tell me and i wll be on the next plane.  your

english is fine for an angel. love, ron >>

I don’t think the matter of ibogaine and benzodizepines has been resolved.
For whatever reason there is no animal model research that has been
performed
which while not perfect would be predictive of one result or another.

So Sara, what do you say from your experience?

Howard

Dear Howard,

My experience  is that Iboga does work for Benzo, only is isn’t a single
Dose of MG/kg.

But I did treat many people for zanex , klonopine, Valiums, and other benzo
without a seizure+ METHADONE AND HEROIN habit on top.

I’m very confident that it does work the way I do it.

Sara

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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine],to sara from ron
Date: November 25, 2004 at 12:46:25 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

—–Oorspronkelijk bericht—–
Van: Ron Davis [mailto:rwd3@cox.net]
Verzonden: donderdag 25 november 2004 4:59
Aan: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Onderwerp: Re: [Ibogaine],to sara from ron

sara:
how i envy those you help. unfortunately, according to all i’ve read and
have been told by  those smarter than i, ibo won’t work on my benzo thing.
if you hear otherwise, please tell me and i wll be on the next plane.  your
english is fine for an angel. love, ron

Ron,

The info. Is about Ibogaine HCL, I do the treatment for Benzo and methadone
with Iboga which a
Is different kind of treatment then you can read on the Net.
There is no MG/KG dosage. But an observation treatment,
Day by day I follow you physically and mentally. Until I think
You are good, that takes at the most times,2 weeks.

Sara

Monday was a deep emotional dying day. Tuesday  a day of rebirth and
enlightenment.

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From: IBEGINAGAIN@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 12:36:21 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Ron and list,
The only substance i have not had success with treating with ibogaine so far has been with the long lasting benzos.  I have had success with detoxing off of 70 to 100 mgs.of short lasting benzos such as xanax and valium during a 2 and 3 day day protocol.  The long lasting ones are unbearable and require decreasing dosages very gradually over a couple to a few month time depending upon the quantity someone is doing.

Eric

From: Rachel Radhakrishna <rachelradha@yahoo.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Poppy tea vs. Methadone ?
Date: November 25, 2004 at 12:00:38 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com, jeffgd1@aol.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dear Kirsty,

I’m curious about your reasoning for the switch.  Tea
seems to me much easier to detox from than methadone,
which is very long-lasting in the system.

After two and a half weeks of basically not feeling
better, Jeff really is wishing he had decided to go
Julie’s route and switched from methadone to another
opiate *before* the Eboga detox.

We stopped by his clinic today so he could “pee in a
bottle” and check about aftercare.  They have some
acupuncture, which he hopes to take advantage of
before going back to work.  They thought he wanted to
go back on methadone, but when his awesome,
sympathetic counselor heard he *didn’t*, and I related
my spiritual experiences from just being in the room
during the treatment, she really wanted to check out
the Dossier.

He’s looking at another booster for his withdrawals,
but because the 6 mg./kg Ibogaine HCL he took last
week didn’t affect him hardly at all we are wondering
if the fact that he had restarted Zoloft might have
blocked it or something like that.

Happy American Thanksgiving everyone.  We have a lot
to be grateful for around here.

Much love,

Rachel (and Jeff)

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
All your favorites on one personal page – Try My Yahoo!
http://my.yahoo.com

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From: D H <dave@phantom.com>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 24, 2004 at 11:50:58 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Dealing with the death (or pending death) of a parent is one of the toughest challenges I’ve had to face. One cannot completely prepare for the emotions and feelings that surface (with a timeline and mind of their own). My Mom passed 4 years ago, and yes addiction killed her. alcohol, pain meds and an abusive husband (the prior in response to the latter). She died of a brain hemmorage (sic) that resulted from an all out drunken tumble down the staircase, which was the finale to a 4 week bender of ingesting nothing much besides straight Vodka, painkillers and copius amounts of her blood thining medication Cumadin (sic). Her heart was also shot from several decades of drinking -thus the blood thinner and pacemaker (Vodka and Dilaudid was her favorite). The blood thinner only made the hemoraging worse.

I still find myself being very, very upset. I flew back in time to see her alive in the hospital, and it was a ghastly affair. she was a total mess. couldn’t speak, but she could see us and hear us. Unfortunately that is my lasting impression of her, all hooked up to IV’s and Monitors, one humongus bruise the entire length of her face. My father in ignorant denial, telling us she is going to be OK, she just had a little fall, the doctor standing by with no comment. Dad had his blinders on for 20 years during the worst of her drinking, unwilling to face the facts, and here he was, still completely ignorant of what had happened. Completely unaware of his hand in the situation.

So when I start to mourn her death, I try also to celebrate her life (even tho a very large part of me despises her for not leaving my father 30 years ago)… She did a lot of good for a lot of people – raised 4 kids who, on the whole, are healthy. She made the best Strawberry Shortcake in New England. She volunteered thousands of hours at the local church helping people less fortunate than she. And through her shortcomings, she taught me some valuable lessons. She always helped me when I was at my worst, even tho it was in secret, she helped me ‘get well’ many a time via western union. And most of all, she gave me this precious gift called life, for which I am extremely grateful for. Its taken me many years to be able to say that and mean it from the core of my being.

I would liked her to have stuck around to meet her granddaughter face to face, but I know she is looking over us now, and is very proud of what I have made out of a one-time shattered existence.

I know what it feels like Ron, and just wanted to say, you’re not alone. The fact that you are here seeking help/support speaks volumes.

Stay the course, you CAN make it!

_.DH

On Wednesday, November 24, 2004, at 05:46 PM, Ron Davis wrote:

terrified, thanks for asking, father on death bed and ibo won’t work for a very dangerous situation i have place myself in. thank you for your concern and well wishes and prayer.  i d/n know if i will make it, peace , ron

—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:16 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
How do you do now? Being praying for you.
Kindest regards
F

—– Original Message —–
From: Capt Kirk
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.

It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.

I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.

Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.

All the best to you and yours

Kia Kaha (stay strong)

Kirsty

 

<image.tiff>

From:Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl]
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

 

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME

Jasen.


Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.797 / Virus Database: 541 – Release Date: 11/15/2004


Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.797 / Virus Database: 541 – Release Date: 11/15/2004

From: HSLotsof@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine],to sara from ron
Date: November 24, 2004 at 11:44:33 PM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

In a message dated 11/24/04 11:36:20 PM, rwd3@cox.net writes:

<< how i envy those you help. unfortunately, according to all i’ve read and

have been told by  those smarter than i, ibo won’t work on my benzo thing.

if you hear otherwise, please tell me and i wll be on the next plane.  your

english is fine for an angel. love, ron >>

I don’t think the matter of ibogaine and benzodizepines has been resolved.
For whatever reason there is no animal model research that has been performed
which while not perfect would be predictive of one result or another.

So Sara, what do you say from your experience?

Howard

/]=———————————————————————=[\
[%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%]
\]=———————————————————————=[/

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine],to sara from ron
Date: November 24, 2004 at 10:58:45 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

sara:
how i envy those you help. unfortunately, according to all i’ve read and have been told by  those smarter than i, ibo won’t work on my benzo thing. if you hear otherwise, please tell me and i wll be on the next plane.  your english is fine for an angel. love, ron
—– Original Message —– From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 12:21 AM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jason report,

Monday was a deep emotional dying day. Tuesday  a day of rebirth and
enlightenment.

/]=———————————————————————=[\
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/]=———————————————————————=[\
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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 24, 2004 at 10:46:13 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

terrified, thanks for asking, father on death bed and ibo won’t work for a very dangerous situation i have place myself in. thank you for your concern and well wishes and prayer.  i d/n know if i will make it, peace , ron
—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:16 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?

Hi Ron
How do you do now? Being praying for you.
Kindest regards
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Capt Kirk
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.
It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.
I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.
Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.
All the best to you and yours
Kia Kaha (stay strong)
Kirsty
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME
Jasen.

—
Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
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From: “The Garden” <GardenRestaurant@comcast.net>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Ron how are you?
Date: November 24, 2004 at 10:16:13 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Ron
How do you do now? Being praying for you.
Kindest regards
F
—– Original Message —–
From: Capt Kirk
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:30 PM
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.
It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.
I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.
Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.
All the best to you and yours
Kia Kaha (stay strong)
Kirsty
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME
Jasen.

—
Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.797 / Virus Database: 541 – Release Date: 11/15/2004

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Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.797 / Virus Database: 541 – Release Date: 11/15/2004

From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.
Date: November 24, 2004 at 8:30:52 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Kia Ora Jasen from New Zealand.
It has been an honour to share your journey and gives me hope for the future when I start my journey with Ibogaine.  It is so helpful to hear from others who have been thru it, and come out the other side a new person.  I am very happy for you.
I look forward to sharing my journey in the near future.
Starting on Methadone on Tuesday, stabilize and come down as much as possible, then it will be Ibogaine. As cheap as it is, the poppy seed is still a cost and I’m not working at the moment so things are tight money wise.  I’ve been on ‘done before and swore I wouldn’t do it again but with Ibogaine I feel it’s my best move at this stage.
All the best to you and yours
Kia Kaha (stay strong)
Kirsty
From: Sara Glatt [mailto:sara119@xs4all.nl] 
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 9:05 p.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME
Jasen.

—
Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.797 / Virus Database: 541 – Release Date: 11/15/2004

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Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Fw: CIA Warlord’s Son Held in Mass Murder
Date: November 24, 2004 at 7:39:37 PM EST
To: “Newsroom-L” <newsroom-l@lists.netspace.org>, <ibogaine@mindvox.com>, <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Oh damn,
I did get that wrong.
I apologize to the lists and to Cha Vang. My extreme apologies are in
order. I don’t know how I missed that “spokesman” bit, but I did, and I
messed up royally by doing so. I very humbly apologize and feel really thick. No excuse for such sloppiness on my part.

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: <CERJ@igc.org>
To: <CERJ@igc.org>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 6:31 PM
Subject: Re: CIA Warlord’s Son Held in Mass Murder

On Wednesday, November 24, 2004, CERJer Betty Frandsen <bfrandse@pressenter.com> wrote:

John,

Someone says that Cha Vang is the son of the general, but later in the article, it says he is a spokesman for the Hmong community … and Chai Vang is the murderer … could you clarify this?  It sounds like someone rushed to a conclusion without reading the article.

Betty
_ _ _

Dear Betty and CERJers,

Yes, I published the articles under Preston’s suggested new ‘headline’ without careful checking of the facts.  I don’t have evidence that the shooter is the general’s son … merely similarly named.  Someone on JUSTWATCH — where I also published the same material — has corrected me as well.

Let me point out, though, that Preston did us a service by sending the material … it gives us much more knowledge about this lamentable situation — and contributing or mitigating factors — than we might have had otherwise.

— John Wilmerding

==================================
CERJ@igc.org            wilmerding@earthlink.net
——————————————-
John Wilmerding, Convener and List Manager
Coalition for Equity-Restorative Justice (CERJ)
217 High Street, Brattleboro, VT, USA
ZIP: 05301-6073         Phone: 1-802-254-2826
CERJ was founded in New York in May, 1997.
——————————————-
“Work together to reinvent justice using methods
that are fair; that conserve, restore, and even
create harmony, equity and good will in society.”
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To join (or leave) the CERJ email list, kindly send
me an email message at wilmerding@earthlink.net
or at cerj@igc.org.  I’ll need your first & last name,
your email address, and your state, province or
country of residence.  Thank you!  — John W.
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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Jason report,
Date: November 24, 2004 at 9:44:43 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

J, hang in there guy. Get through this and the other side is bright and beautiful. You are in a great place to do all of your soul searching.    Randy

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] thought it might interest
Date: November 24, 2004 at 9:09:11 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Kirsty, I think we need to sic my Momma on this guy. Get ’em Momma.     Randy

From: “m.finman” <mafinman@optonline.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] (OT-sorta) Fw: [DrugWar] VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: What do police departments really do?
Date: November 24, 2004 at 6:49:29 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Preston,
Bingo!!! Give that man a prize!  That remark you made about the “correlation” is big.  This is not about blame, but the first thing that came to my mind when you revealed your current status was, that Faith drove him to it!! This is meant as a joke but at the same time expressing a point As emotional beings we absorb and hold onto all that stuff that we are so passionate about. Hence the need for balance and perspective and lets throw in some self preservation. Your instincts are good. A deviation from all that would be healthy. Figuring out how to have that balance and deviation on an ongoing basis so as not to crash and burn is an ongoing goal . I just had some energy work last night and the guy told me I don’t give myself the opportunity to really rest.  He said to me, you have to love yourself before you can truly love others.  I remember commenting to Marc shortly after his return from mexico when it appeared he was burning himself out that if he wanted to be a beacon of light for others he had to have a steady power source from within. I don’t inundate myself with news or what I refer to as toxic people and toxic situations.  I understand you are passionate on politics and such but again, find your balance.
As usual this is all stuff I need to hear myself, so don’t take me as preaching or fingerpointing.
Preston and all, hope there is a wonderful, relaxing and introspective holiday for all.  I am thankful for this list and the opportunity it has given me. Mentally when I think of accessing this site, I refer to you all as “my people.”
I wish for you all calm, peace, and understanding.
And above all Love,
Martee

—– Original Message —– From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 24, 2004 1:10 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT-sorta) Fw: [DrugWar] VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: What do police departments really do?

This is only sort of off topic I think. This is just my own opinion, and others might not agree, which is why I went ahead and placed that OT sorta in the subject heading.
I’m getting really tired of all the depressing news again. After doing ibo it took a couple of months before I started watching tv and reading news again, and it wasn’t long before I then started to fuck myself over. Hmmm. I wonder if there is a correlation there somewhere.
Anyway, my next book project, now in the very beginning stages of being put together, has nothing whatsoever (at this point) to do with illegal drug use and policies- although that may change if a couple potential contributors actually do come up with a pertinent slant on the topics they’ve proposed covered for a book about lost civilizations, technologies and ancient mysteries. We’ll see. My point I’m trying to make here is that I’ve long needed a complete change of direction, even if only a temporary one, something I can do that will not stress me out, will give me happiness and enjoyment and also help me pay my rent. Imagine that. Life can be interesting and almost smooth at times, knock loudly on lots of wooden things please.

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: Vigilius Haufniensis
To: drugwar@mindvox.com
Cc: new patriots ; NEWLP@yahoogroups.com ; elite_sociopath@yahoogroups.com ; cia drugs ; a political debate ; global humanity ; RM-COUNSEL@yahoogroups.com ; Evolving_Thought@yahoogroups.com ; SECULAR_HUMANIST@yahoogroups.com ; the_Lawyerdude@yahoogroups.com ; lovely lou ; projectgrasp@yahoogroups.com ; chaconstitutionalist ; ed ruthann ; Lordhighmasterofallthings ; Carnes, James ; OrgonomyMail-List@yahoogroups.com ; WilhelmReich-List@yahoogroups.de
Sent: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 11:02 PM
Subject: [DrugWar] VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: What do police departments really do?

The creation of government police forces thus did not and does not diminish crime rates, and was never expected to. In fact, the professor finds it generally increases reported crime rates. This makes sense if we stop to think what modern police forces actually do.

http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2004/Nov-14-Sun-2004/opinion/25230212.html
VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: What do police departments really do?

Back in August, I reported an incident out of Wisconsin that may — or may not — help us answer the question: What should you do if police ask permission to search your home?
The daily Oshkosh Northwestern reported back on July 20: “Local police still have no culprit in custody following a Saturday night shooting that left an officer wounded in a south-side Oshkosh neighborhood. …
“The ongoing search for a perpetrator continues to prove frustrating for residents of the otherwise quiet neighborhood. … Residents … had mixed things to say about the methods police used in searching homes Sunday morning in the aftermath of the shooting,” the local daily reported.
Resident Terry Wesner told reporters “a couple of shotguns and a rifle” were removed from his home by SWAT team members after he consented to a search, though officers did not tell him they removed the firearms.
Of special concern to the local ACLU was a report that residents of the house that became the focus of the police investigation refused to consent to a search without a warrant. “(A police officer) declined to say whether officers pursued the warrant because the residents refused a consent search,” the newspaper reported.
And here we thought the courts had ruled that refusal to give consent to a search could not be used as grounds to acquire a search warrant. For how can we really be said to retain any right to privacy if we can lose this right merely for invoking it?
I’ve gotten some feedback on this topic over the months. A lot of it, sadly, confirms my suspicion that many of our countrymen these days are all too willing to embrace the notion that police shouldn’t be restrained by such archaic notions as any “right to privacy,” so long as they’re pursuing “lawbreakers” in good faith.
I went to grade school in the 1950s, and remember our school reader including a tale of Officer Brown — I seem to recall him as a beaming, somewhat portly figure twirling an innocuous nightstick as he strolled down the sidewalk, tipping his hat to one and all — helping little Suzy rescue her cat from a tree.
Does anyone still believe this is what policemen actually do?
Read Stephen Davies’ excellent research on “The Private Provision of Police During the Eighteenth and Nineteenth Centuries,” in the 2002 book “The Voluntary City: Choice, Community, and Civil Society.” What professor Davies reveals is that modern government police forces were set up —  largely in a delayed response to the French Revolution — to do “social policing” of the urban working class, wading into the slums on behalf of the ruling elite, inventing new “crimes” for which they could threaten the residents with arrest, thus breaking up any incipient movement toward social revolution before it could bloom.
The creation of government police forces thus did not and does not diminish crime rates, and was never expected to. In fact, the professor finds it generally increases reported crime rates. This makes sense if we stop to think what modern police forces actually do.
Let us suppose that, magically, there were no police. You are sitting at home of an evening, quietly reading a book. Next door, behind his own locked doors, your 21-year-old neighbor, who inherited some handguns from his grandfather, is spending time with his 16- or 17-year-old sweetheart, whose family is happy to know she intends to marry him and bear his children as soon as she graduates high school. At the moment, the two of them are consuming some of the marijuana they grow in their back yard.
If you knew this, would you leap to your feet and race downtown, pounding on the door of the sleeping magistrate, insisting he swear out a warrant so you can rush back to your neighborhood, break into your neighbor’s home and arrest him?
Of course not. He’s hurting no one.
But now let us return to a present era in which we maintain large, professional police forces. Earlier this day, unbeknownst to you or your neighbor, officers busted one of your neighbor’s friends for driving a car with an out-of-date registration. (Oh, the horror.) Searching the car without a warrant, the “officers” found marijuana. Bargaining to stay out of jail, the young man tells the officers he got it from your neighbor.
As we speak, do you suppose Officer Friendly and Officer Brown are down at the station house, playing cards and waiting to see if anyone will call in any armed robberies tonight?
Of course not. Clad in full SWAT gear, with machine pistols and bulletproof vests, they are currently lurking in your neighbor’s bushes, trying to peek in his windows. Before dawn they will break down his front door with a battering ram, drag him out half-naked and in handcuffs and proceed to send him to prison for decades for 1) possessions of unregistered handguns without a license; 2) “manufacturing for purposes of sale a deadly narcotic,” that is to say, his backyard marijuana; and 3) “statutory rape” of his fiancee, regardless of whether or not their planned union has the blessing of her family.
The reported “crime rate” in your neighborhood just skyrocketed. Is this because your neighbor has hurt anyone, or has been caught doing anything that normal people have not been doing for thousands of years?
Of course not. Our great-grandparents would be astonished to learn that such “crimes” are even on the books.
The only thing that has changed is that our land is now occupied by large, professional, overlapping paramilitary “police forces” that have to keep busy, ginning up manufactured “crime waves” and filling the prisons (we now have the highest incarceration rate in the world — and many of those inmates have never hurt anyone), in order to justify their ever-burgeoning budgets.
Vin Suprynowicz is assistant editorial page editor of the Review-Journal and author of the books “Send in the Waco Killers” and “The Ballad of Carl Drega.”

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] son of cia warlord held in mass murder case
Date: November 24, 2004 at 6:18:41 AM EST
To: <drugwar@mindvox.com>, <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi all,
While it’s not fair to hold a son guilty simply for the sins of his father, now that Laotian General Vang Pao’s son has apparently murdered six other hunters in Wisconsin, itseems to me it’s a good time to look at one of the men the US government has allowed to seek refuge in our country. What with the current all-out war on terrorists AND on some drugs and users, it might leave some loyal, still flag-waving folk feeling a bit confused, but if we don’t learn from history, we are doomed to always repeat it.
Heck, I’m growing convinced as of late that it doesn’t matter, that even if we DO learn from history it won’t change anything, that enough dumbells will always buy into the calls for war, hate, death and destruction, no matter what. That said, it doesn’t mean I’m planning on hiding my head in the sand, only that I’m none too sure that calling “them” out for their sins is really going to accomplish much of anything. Still…
Peace and love to all,
Preston


son of cia warlord held in mass murder case
(my new title for the NYTimes’ “Hunter Tells Police he was Threatened”)
snip-

A group of prominent Hmong-Americans, eager to distance their community from the killings and avert a possible backlash, held a news conference here on Tuesday. “We stand before you as representatives of the greater law-abiding Hmong community to unconditionally – unconditionally – condemn these atrocities,” a spokesman, Cha Vang, said. “What happened in Wisconsin is in no way representative of the Hmong people and what they stand for.”

Cha Vang is a son of Gen. Vang Pao, probably the best-known Hmong in the United States. General Vang Pao commanded the Hmong “secret army” that the Central Intelligence Agency assembled to fight Communism in Southeast Asia in the 1960’s and 70’s.

St. Paul has about 25,000 Hmong, and many enjoy hunting. By their own accounts, more than a few have had clashes with whites whose paths they have crossed in the North Woods.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/drugs/archive/gunsdrugscia.html
snip-

For more on General Vang Pao, please see:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/drugs/archive/gunsdrugscia.html

Guns, Drugs and the CIA

JOHN EVERINGHAM
I know as a fact soon after the army was formed the military officers soon got control of the opium trade. It helped not only them make a lot of money and become good loyal officers to the CIA but it helped the villagers. The villagers needed their opium carried out and carried over the land in a war situation that was much more dangerous and more difficult, and the officers were obviously paying a good price ‘cos the villagers were very eager to sell to the military people.

HARRY ADERHOLT, U.S. General
That’s hogwash. No way and as far as the agency ever, ever advocating that is do you think I would be in an organization where I’ve devoted my life to my country–involved in a operation like that without blowing the whistle?–absolutely not.

NARRATOR
For veterans like General Aderholt and General Secord the war in Laos is now commemorated at nostalgic reunions. Last fall they gathered at a Florida air base to talk over old times and current business.
While Vang Pao does not attend such functions, he is well remembered by his old comrades.

Frontline:
Was the agency responsible for people’s salaries, were they paying Vang Pao?

Harry Aderholt:
Of course, they were a hundred percent responsible, because Vang Pao was responding to agency requirements, even though they may have come from the highest levels of the U.S. government, yes, of course.

Frontline:
He was in the chain of command.

Harry Aderholt:
Yes.

Frontline:
Did you work with Vang Pao?

Richard Secord:
Sure, all the time.

Frontline:
What was your relationship?

Richard Secord:
I was his supplier of air, therefore he stayed in close contact with me.

Frontline:
Were you in charge of supplying Air America planes?

Richard Secord:
For the tactical air operations, yes.

NARRATOR
The movement of Air America planes say witnesses were influenced by Vang Pao’s business requirements.

Ron Rickenbach:
Vang Pao wanted control of the aircraft– sure, he would do the work that needed to be done but it would give that much more freedom and that much more flexibility to use these aircraft to go out and pick up the opium that needed to be picked up at this site or that site and to bring it back to Long Chien, and there was quite a hassle and Vang Pao won. Not only did he get control of the aircraft, but there was also a question of the operational control of the airplanes that were leaving Long Chien to go south, even into Thailand, and there was an embarrassing situation where the Americans knew that this could be exposed and it would be a very compromising situation. The way they got around that was to concede, to create for Vang Pao his own local airline, and Xieng Kouang airlines came into reality as a direct result of this compromise that was worked out, and they brought in a C-47 from the states and they painted it up nice and put Xieng Kouang airlines on it and they gave it to Vang Pao, and that aircraft was largely used for the transshipment of opium from Long Chien to sites further south.

Frontline:
Air Opium?

Ron Rickenbach:
Air opium.

Harry Aderholt:
Those airlines didn’t really belong to General Vang Pao.

Frontline:
They belonged to the agency.

Harry Aderholt:
They belonged to the agency. They were maintained by the United States government in the form of Air America or Continental, so they didn’t really own anything. It wasn’t something he could take away with him, it was something that we controlled every iota of that operation, lock, stock and barrel.

Frontline:
You know what the nickname for that airline was?

Richard Secord:
No.

Frontline:
Opium Air.

Richard Secord:
I’ve never heard that before.

NARRATOR
Back in the old days the men who flew for Air America and drank in the Purple Porpoise Bar in Vientiane were less discreet.
Most of them are long gone and far away from Laos now but one legendary CIA officer still lives across the Mekong River close to his old mountain battleground.

RON RICKENBACH
The man that was in charge of that local operation was a man by the name of Tony Poe, and he was notorious. He had been involved with the agency from the OSS days he was a World War II combat veteran and he had been with the agency from its inception and he was the prototype operations officer. They made a movie about him when they made Apocalypses Now. He was the caricature of Marlon Brando.

NARRATOR
Until now, Tony Poe has never talked publicly about the Laos operation. He saw it from beginning to end. one of Vang Pao’s early case officers, Poe claims he was transferred from Long Chien because unlike his successors, he refused to tolerate the Meo leader’s corruption.

TONY POE, Former CIA Officer
You don’t let him run loose without a chain on him. You gotta control him just like any kind of an animal or a baby. You have to control him. Hey! He’s the only guy that had a pair of shoes when I first met him–what are you talking about, why does he need Mercedes Benz, apartments and hotels and homes where he never had them in his life before. Why are you going to give it to him?

Frontline:
Plus he was making money on the side with his business?

Tony Poe:
Oh, he was making millions, ‘cos he had his own source of, uh, avenue for his own, uh, heroin.

snip-

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

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From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Jasen at Sara’s.
Date: November 24, 2004 at 3:05:11 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Day ten;THE AWAKENING HAS BECOME
Jasen.

From: “Sara Glatt” <sara119@xs4all.nl>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] Jason report,
Date: November 24, 2004 at 1:21:45 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Monday was a deep emotional dying day. Tuesday  a day of rebirth and
enlightenment.

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From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] (OT-sorta) Fw: [DrugWar] VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: What do police departments really do?
Date: November 24, 2004 at 1:10:48 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

This is only sort of off topic I think. This is just my own opinion, and others might not agree, which is why I went ahead and placed that OT sorta in the subject heading.
I’m getting really tired of all the depressing news again. After doing ibo it took a couple of months before I started watching tv and reading news again, and it wasn’t long before I then started to fuck myself over. Hmmm. I wonder if there is a correlation there somewhere.
Anyway, my next book project, now in the very beginning stages of being put together, has nothing whatsoever (at this point) to do with illegal drug use and policies- although that may change if a couple potential contributors actually do come up with a pertinent slant on the topics they’ve proposed covered for a book about lost civilizations, technologies and ancient mysteries. We’ll see. My point I’m trying to make here is that I’ve long needed a complete change of direction, even if only a temporary one, something I can do that will not stress me out, will give me happiness and enjoyment and also help me pay my rent. Imagine that. Life can be interesting and almost smooth at times, knock loudly on lots of wooden things please.

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —– From: Vigilius Haufniensis
To: drugwar@mindvox.com
Cc: new patriots ; NEWLP@yahoogroups.com ; elite_sociopath@yahoogroups.com ; cia drugs ; a political debate ; global humanity ; RM-COUNSEL@yahoogroups.com ; Evolving_Thought@yahoogroups.com ; SECULAR_HUMANIST@yahoogroups.com ; the_Lawyerdude@yahoogroups.com ; lovely lou ; projectgrasp@yahoogroups.com ; chaconstitutionalist ; ed ruthann ; Lordhighmasterofallthings ; Carnes, James ; OrgonomyMail-List@yahoogroups.com ; WilhelmReich-List@yahoogroups.de
Sent: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 11:02 PM
Subject: [DrugWar] VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: What do police departments really do?

The creation of government police forces thus did not and does not diminish crime rates, and was never expected to. In fact, the professor finds it generally increases reported crime rates. This makes sense if we stop to think what modern police forces actually do.

http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2004/Nov-14-Sun-2004/opinion/25230212.html
VIN SUPRYNOWICZ: What do police departments really do?

Back in August, I reported an incident out of Wisconsin that may — or may not — help us answer the question: What should you do if police ask permission to search your home?
The daily Oshkosh Northwestern reported back on July 20: “Local police still have no culprit in custody following a Saturday night shooting that left an officer wounded in a south-side Oshkosh neighborhood. …
“The ongoing search for a perpetrator continues to prove frustrating for residents of the otherwise quiet neighborhood. … Residents … had mixed things to say about the methods police used in searching homes Sunday morning in the aftermath of the shooting,” the local daily reported.
Resident Terry Wesner told reporters “a couple of shotguns and a rifle” were removed from his home by SWAT team members after he consented to a search, though officers did not tell him they removed the firearms.
Of special concern to the local ACLU was a report that residents of the house that became the focus of the police investigation refused to consent to a search without a warrant. “(A police officer) declined to say whether officers pursued the warrant because the residents refused a consent search,” the newspaper reported.
And here we thought the courts had ruled that refusal to give consent to a search could not be used as grounds to acquire a search warrant. For how can we really be said to retain any right to privacy if we can lose this right merely for invoking it?
I’ve gotten some feedback on this topic over the months. A lot of it, sadly, confirms my suspicion that many of our countrymen these days are all too willing to embrace the notion that police shouldn’t be restrained by such archaic notions as any “right to privacy,” so long as they’re pursuing “lawbreakers” in good faith.
I went to grade school in the 1950s, and remember our school reader including a tale of Officer Brown — I seem to recall him as a beaming, somewhat portly figure twirling an innocuous nightstick as he strolled down the sidewalk, tipping his hat to one and all — helping little Suzy rescue her cat from a tree.
Does anyone still believe this is what policemen actually do?
Read Stephen Davies’ excellent research on “The Private Provision of Police During the Eighteenth and Nineteenth Centuries,” in the 2002 book “The Voluntary City: Choice, Community, and Civil Society.” What professor Davies reveals is that modern government police forces were set up — largely in a delayed response to the French Revolution — to do “social policing” of the urban working class, wading into the slums on behalf of the ruling elite, inventing new “crimes” for which they could threaten the residents with arrest, thus breaking up any incipient movement toward social revolution before it could bloom.
The creation of government police forces thus did not and does not diminish crime rates, and was never expected to. In fact, the professor finds it generally increases reported crime rates. This makes sense if we stop to think what modern police forces actually do.
Let us suppose that, magically, there were no police. You are sitting at home of an evening, quietly reading a book. Next door, behind his own locked doors, your 21-year-old neighbor, who inherited some handguns from his grandfather, is spending time with his 16- or 17-year-old sweetheart, whose family is happy to know she intends to marry him and bear his children as soon as she graduates high school. At the moment, the two of them are consuming some of the marijuana they grow in their back yard.
If you knew this, would you leap to your feet and race downtown, pounding on the door of the sleeping magistrate, insisting he swear out a warrant so you can rush back to your neighborhood, break into your neighbor’s home and arrest him?
Of course not. He’s hurting no one.
But now let us return to a present era in which we maintain large, professional police forces. Earlier this day, unbeknownst to you or your neighbor, officers busted one of your neighbor’s friends for driving a car with an out-of-date registration. (Oh, the horror.) Searching the car without a warrant, the “officers” found marijuana. Bargaining to stay out of jail, the young man tells the officers he got it from your neighbor.
As we speak, do you suppose Officer Friendly and Officer Brown are down at the station house, playing cards and waiting to see if anyone will call in any armed robberies tonight?
Of course not. Clad in full SWAT gear, with machine pistols and bulletproof vests, they are currently lurking in your neighbor’s bushes, trying to peek in his windows. Before dawn they will break down his front door with a battering ram, drag him out half-naked and in handcuffs and proceed to send him to prison for decades for 1) possessions of unregistered handguns without a license; 2) “manufacturing for purposes of sale a deadly narcotic,” that is to say, his backyard marijuana; and 3) “statutory rape” of his fiancee, regardless of whether or not their planned union has the blessing of her family.
The reported “crime rate” in your neighborhood just skyrocketed. Is this because your neighbor has hurt anyone, or has been caught doing anything that normal people have not been doing for thousands of years?
Of course not. Our great-grandparents would be astonished to learn that such “crimes” are even on the books.
The only thing that has changed is that our land is now occupied by large, professional, overlapping paramilitary “police forces” that have to keep busy, ginning up manufactured “crime waves” and filling the prisons (we now have the highest incarceration rate in the world — and many of those inmates have never hurt anyone), in order to justify their ever-burgeoning budgets.
Vin Suprynowicz is assistant editorial page editor of the Review-Journal and author of the books “Send in the Waco Killers” and “The Ballad of Carl Drega.”

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From: “Vigilius Haufniensis” <thehatefulnerd@sbcglobal.net>
Subject: [Ibogaine] Re: [DrugWar] (OT!) Fw: [NEWSROOM-L] Bush’s fly
Date: November 23, 2004 at 11:22:34 PM EST
To: <drugwar@mindvox.com>
Cc: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi all,>     I apologize for the way off topic post here, but still…
I post this sans other comment, simply in hopes I pass on the big smile I
myself experienced when seeing this photo.
We do need laughter in this day and age of legalized murder and such grand
scales.> Peace and love to all,> Preston

VMANN:  look at PUTIN in the upper right.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/041121/481/edb11411211850
the expression on his face (compared with that on bush’s face) is worth a
THOUSAND words.
vigilius haufniensis

/]=———————————————————————=[\
[%] Ibogaine List Commands: http://ibogaine.mindvox.com/IbogaineList.html [%]
\]=———————————————————————=[/

From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: (OT!) Fw: [NEWSROOM-L] Bush’s fly
Date: November 23, 2004 at 9:11:33 PM EST
To: <drugwar@mindvox.com>, <ibogaine@mindvox.com>

Hi all,
I apologize for the way off topic post here, but still…
I post this sans other comment, simply in hopes I pass on the big smile I myself experienced when seeing this photo.
We do need laughter in this day and age of legalized murder and such grand scales.
Peace and love to all,
Preston

—– Original Message —– From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@NYC.RR.COM>
To: <NEWSROOM-L@LISTS.NETSPACE.ORG>
Sent: Tuesday, November 23, 2004 7:51 PM
Subject: [NEWSROOM-L] Bush’s fly

Would Someone Tell Bush to Zip Up His Pants Before Taking a Photo with World
Leaders? 11/24
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/041121/481/edb11411211850

Peace and love,
Preston Peet

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

NetSpace LISTSERV(R) software donated by L-Soft, Inc.   http://www.lsoft.com

From: “Preston Peet” <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com>
Subject: [Ibogaine] MAO inhibitor or not?
Date: November 23, 2004 at 7:46:16 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi all,
A friend sent me the following two sentence note, and I’d appreciate some responses, please.
Thanks.
—–

Ibogaine. MAO inhibitor, or not?

For a friend studying Ayahusca (I think I spelled it right.).
—–

Peace and love,
Preston

“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: [Ibogaine] thought it might interest
Date: November 23, 2004 at 6:44:54 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Thought I’d send this on, I’d certainly be up in arms if it happened in NZ, look out for the Fundamentalists~!
Someone handed me a bible and told me to pray when I had PMS I’d smack em round the head with it!!!
Kirsty
From: Reiki Lady [mailto:iamthereikilady@yahoo.com] 
Sent: Tuesday, 23 November 2004 8:06 a.m.
To: Gary Cardinal
Subject: [sacred-union-network] (unknown)

URGENT – READ THIS NOW!

FYI:  Subject: Hager FDA appointment

President Bush has announced his plan to select Dr. W.David Hager to head up the Food and Drug Administration’s (FDA)Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee. The committee has not met for more than two years, during which time its charter lapsed. As a result, the Bush Administration is tasked with filling all eleven positions with new members.  This position does not require Congressional approval.

The FDA’s Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee makes crucial decisions on matters relating to drugs used in the practice of obstetrics, gynecology and related specialties, including hormone therapy, contraception, treatment for infertility, and medical alternatives to surgical procedures for sterilization and pregnancy termination.

Dr. Hager, the author of “As Jesus Cared for Women: Restoring Women Then and Now.” The book blends biblical accounts of Christ healing W! omen with case studies from Hager’s practice. His views of reproductive health care are far outside the mainstream for reproductive technology. Dr. Hager is a practicing OB/GYN who describes himself as “pro-life” and refuses to prescribe contraceptives to unmarried women.

In the book Dr. Hager wrote with his wife, entitled “Stress and the Woman’s Body,” he suggests that women who suffer from premenstrual syndrome should seek help from reading the bible and praying. As an editor and contributing author of “The Reproduction
Revolution: A Christian Appraisal of Sexuality Reproductive Technologies and the Family,” Dr. Hager appears to have endorsed the medically inaccurate assertion that the common birth control pill is an abortifacient.

————————————————————
Dear Mr. President,
We oppose the appointment of Dr. W. David Hager to the FDA Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee. We are concerned that Dr. Hager’s strong religious
beliefs may color his assessment of technologies that are necessary to protect women’s lives or to preserve and promote women’s health.

Hager’s track record of using religious beliefs to guide his medical decision-making makes him a dangerous and inappropriate candidate to serve as chair of this committee. Critical drug public policy and research must not be held hostage by antiabortion
or any other politics. Members of this important panel should be appointed on the basis of science and medicine, rather than politics and religion.

Mixing religion and medicine is unacceptable in a policy-making position. Using the FDA to promote a political agenda is inappropriate and seriously threatens women’s health.

American women deserve no less.

Sincerely,
Everyone signed below

—————————————————————————-
Every 10th person please forward e-mail to
president@whitehouse.gov1. Susan Tannenbaum (Owings Mills,Maryland)
2. Susan Levine (Silver Spring,MD)
3. Audrey Funk (Henderson,NV)
4. Susan Lowe Shlisky (Las Vegas,NV)
5. Michelle Straub-Wilensky (Los Angeles,CA)
6. Patricia Phelan (San Francisco,CA)
7. Victoria Einhorn(san anselmo, ca)
8. Brad Einhorn (Brooklyn,NY)
9. Bethany MacMillan (Brooklyn,NY)
10. Amy Russell (Louisville,Kentucky)
11. Beverly D. Moore (Louisville,Kentucky)
12. Connie O. Byrne (Kannapolis,North Carolina)
13. Janet C. Haas (Charlotte,North Carolina)
14. Heather Vrana (Charlotte,NC)
15. Clare M. Evans (Newport,VA)
16.Kathy Chadwick17.Jim Chadwick
18.Claire Grimm Chadwick
19. Lindsay Addison (Naples,FL)
20. Peggy Addison (Naples,FL)
21. David Addison (Naples,FL)
22. Howard Schumsky (Orlando,FL)
23. Kristie Born (Orlando,FL)
24. Paul Boyd (Atlantic Highlands,NJ)
25. Lois Jensen (NYC, NY)
26. Catherine Rubenstein (Belvedere, CA)
27. AnneRubenstein (Belvedere, CA)28. Dirk Rubenstein (Belvedere, CA)
29.Barbara K. Westover (Oakland, CA)
30. Sharon Bjornson (Oakland, CA)
31.Rabbi Sue Levi Elwell (Philadelphia, PA)
32. Hana Elwell (Brooklyn, NY)
33. Jen Song (Brooklyn, NY)
34. Janet Lo (New York, NY)
35. Emily Horowitz (New York, NY)
36. Daniel Horowitz (New York, NY)
37. Josh Hyman (New York, NY)
38. Mona Goldsmith (Plainview, NY)
39. Kate Striano(Newtown, CT)
40. Elissa Gellis ( Newtown, CT)
41. Diane Thompson (SandyHook, CT)
42. LInda Parsloe (Sandy Hook, CT)
43. Judy Juracek (Darien, CT)
44. Deborah Meisels (City Island, NY)
45. P. Briggs Saroch(Greenfield, MA)
46. Diane Fisher-Katz (Northampton, MA)
47. KirstenCirincione (Florence, MA)
48. Jane Lynch (Florence, MA)
49. Kathleen Kennedy (Santa Barbara, CA)
50. Leslie Palmer (San Antonio, TX)
51. Julie Toland, Middletown, RI
52. Josie Merck,( Cos Cob, CT)
53. Elizabeth O’Neill (Boston, MA)
54. Joan O’Neill (Traverse City, MI)
55. Barba! ra Becker (Concord, CA)
56. Ken Bruckmeier (Oakland,CA)
57. Margret Elson (Oakland, CA)
58, Marsha Sherman (Portland, OR)
59. Marinell Eva (Santa Rosa, CA)
60.  Sharon Oman (Petaluma, CA
61. Adrienne Davis (Santa Rosa, CA)
62. Barbara Carlson (Santa Rosa, CA)
63. Karen Grace-Kaho (Sacramento, CA)
64. Mary Beth Love (San Francisco, CA)
65. Ruth Finnerty (Oakland, CA)
66. Rosalie Holtz67.  Kay Corlett (Albany, CA)
68.  Connie Barnes (Oakley, CA)
69.  Donna Ventura (Brentwood, CA)
70.  Nancy Herman (Lafayette,CA)
71. Shirley Chang (Berkeley, CA)
72. Nola Chavez (El Cerrito, CA)
73. Elspeth Wells (Clayton, CA)
74. Phyllis Berger (Los Angeles, CA)
75.  Joan Barnett (Boston, Ma.)
76. Phyllis Wender (New York, New York)
77. Lorraine Boyd (San Diego, CA)
78.  Karen Carpenter (San Diego, CA)
79.  Liz Woodman (New York, NY)
80. Lee Friend (Scottsdale, AZ)
81. Florence Jesser, IL
82. Manuela Hung, IL
83. Diane Giancaspro, MI84. Daniel J Fedeli  (Chicago IL)
85. Carol Forsythe (Chicago IL)
86. Deborah Wood (Evanston, IL)87. Susan Cherry (Evanston,
IL)88. Linda Leedberg (Tucson, AZ)
89. Brook Bernini-Galup (Tucson, AZ)
90.Carey Bernini Dowling (Binghamton, NY)
91. Elizabeth Buvinger  (Harrisonburg, VA)
92.  Suzanne Cox (Beloit, WI)
93. Ingrid Andersson (Madison, WI)
94. Kim Reain (Madison, WI)
95. Kate Muschlewski (Madison, WI)
96. Nikole Verde  (St.Paul, MN)
97. Ronda Conner (Madison, WI)
98. Julie Tackett (Madison, WI)
99.Margaret Grosspietsch (Minneapolis, MN)
100. Michael Menner (Minneapolis,MN)
101. Margaret Schally (St. Paul, MN)
102.  Lisa Gunther (St. Paul, MN)
103.Roseanna Stanley (Bolton, MA)
104. Ariana Gabriel (Groton, MA)
105. Dorothy Boesger (Berea, OH)
106.  Maria Sarris (Berea, OH)
107.  Cheryl Stefanik (Columbia Station, OH)
108. Pauline Munk (Columbia Station. OH)
109. Eric Lendl (Oakland, CA)
110. Alisa Dodge (Oakland, CA)
111. Kate Cook (Los Angeles, CA)
112. Marie Monique de Varennes (Los Angeles, CA)
113 Nancy Allen (Los Angeles,CA)
114 Sandi Froelich (Ridgewood, N.J.)
115. Nita Silverman Goodgal (Wyckoff, N.J.)
116. Robin B. Katz (Chicago, IL)
117. Kerry Quigley
118. Maritza Lopez (S.O., NJ)
119.  Maria T. Gonzalez (Plantation, FL)
120. Ellen L. Morrison (Holly Springs, NC)
121. Georgia Sgouros (Garner, NC)
122. Sarah Washburn (Chapel Hill, NC)
123. Ina M. Ish ( Siler City, NC)
124. Lavinia Anne Whitworth Harris (Lawton – Fort Sill, OK)


There is something you can do. The above letter is to be sent to the 
White House, opposing the placement ofHager. Please copy all the text of this email and paste it into a fresh email; then sign your name and
SEND THIS TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO IS CONCERNED ABOUT WOMEN’S RIGHTS.Every 10th
person please forward e-mail tomailto: president@whitehouse.gov

The Reiki Lady of the South West

“I am not going to question your opinions. I am not going to meddle with your belief. I am not going to dictate to you, mine. All that I say is, examine, and inquire. Look into the nature of things. Search out the grounds of your opinions, the for and the against. Know why you believe, understand what you believe, and possess a reason for the faith that is in you.”
(Francis Wright, “Divisions of Knowledge”, 1828)

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From: “Capt Kirk” <captkirk@free.net.nz>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] : Ibogaine availablity, dosage etc
Date: November 23, 2004 at 6:29:52 PM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Cheers heaps Randy,
There is some great info on the net, I’ve been studying it for 4 years now so I know all the tests to have done and no, I wouldn’t consider doing it alone! Just waiting for the right angel to appear for me!! The last time I did get ibo sent here, but it was weak form, I want the whole deal this time!
Thanks for your help.
Kirsty
From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com [mailto:BiscuitBoy714@aol.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, 24 November 2004 1:18 a.m.
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] : Ibogaine availablity, dosage etc

Kirsty, I didn’t realize you were in New Zealand. You might look on the net for Ibogaine Hcl. I think you can have it sent to your house. There are some web sites that supply it I just am not aware of the name. Someone else with more info than me will probably chime in here, be ready for it. Don’t do it by yourself. There is an Ibogaine treatment protocol manual on the Dora Weiner Foundation site that is real good. I down loaded it and read it a lot before I did the Ibogaine and it prepared me pretty well. I still had a lot of pleasant surprises but I wouldn’t want to go through that by myself. Too many invariable problems can come up. Good luck.    Randy

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From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] an experience of god/fear
Date: November 23, 2004 at 7:31:08 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Nick, fear of the unknown kept me high and drunk for years. I stayed buttered and blindly went through what I was afraid of and missed the point. I feel like I have to face them clean now and experience the feelings and put a label on them so they are not unknown anymore. This is deep. It talks about this in the big book.        Randy

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] : Ibogaine availablity, dosage etc
Date: November 23, 2004 at 7:18:00 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Kirsty, I didn’t realize you were in New Zealand. You might look on the net for Ibogaine Hcl. I think you can have it sent to your house. There are some web sites that supply it I just am not aware of the name. Someone else with more info than me will probably chime in here, be ready for it. Don’t do it by yourself. There is an Ibogaine treatment protocol manual on the Dora Weiner Foundation site that is real good. I down loaded it and read it a lot before I did the Ibogaine and it prepared me pretty well. I still had a lot of pleasant surprises but I wouldn’t want to go through that by myself. Too many invariable problems can come up. Good luck.    Randy

From: BiscuitBoy714@aol.com
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Please heip in creating a pamphlet/website which includes afte…
Date: November 23, 2004 at 6:51:18 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Frank, it has been my experience that the majority of old timers in AA don’t want hear about Ibogaine. The philosophy and the steps apply to any addiction so I go there to reinforce what I have already learned and accomplished. I am also an alcoholic so I am lucky enough to know first hand how much help is in the rooms. My sponsor is well aware of my situation and thinks Ibogaine is a great tool for recovery. He is rare. We have become pretty close over the years and he just wants me to be clean no matter what it takes. So my advice to anyone going to AA is to go to meetings and talk about your recovery just don’t try and win anyone over to Ibogaine. (YET) It is coming. I figure I will let the ones know who are addicts too after meetings and by just being clean and answering questions. I’ve already done this a few times. It is a little too much for some of the newly clean to handle sometimes so I watch and talk to the ones I think can handle it. I don’t know if I am qualified to do this or not but I will not stop until Ibogaine is available to those who need and want it. I feel like it is up to me to bring all of my efforts into a workable program. AA, therapist, the list and prayer are what I am going on now. The list is the most important part for me but that may change. All I know is I’m clean and I love it. You are forever in my heart and I will be indebted to you for your help the rest of my life. Thank you for your efforts in bringing Ibogaine out in the open in the US. As far as I know there is no one doing Ibogaine treatments in the KY,Tenn., West Virginia, southern Ohio area. They need help and I want to be there for them.     Randy

From: Lee Albert <myeboga@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] [On List] Healing & Spirituality (List & Ron)
Date: November 23, 2004 at 6:02:48 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Hi Preston,

Thank you for the thought but you don’t have to worry about reading the book on my behalf. I do not take it in anyway personal. Its a book on your shelf. Enjoy it if you see fit to.

I know the feeling of being on a rollarcoaster ride and for me I use to fear that if I didn’t keep up I would fall off and crash. Its almost like we have no choice but to keep up with the pace. Maybe thats part of the learning and how it is meant to be?
I remember after my first session I had a sense of being two people. The one still on the ride trying to carry on and in some way slow it down. In this I was committed to more business transactions which I intended to go through with and did. The other in another place waiting for the ride to end so I could get on with my real life, knowing I did not want those business transactions. Yet I went with the ride (& the business transactions) in full knowledge of what I was doing was “wrong”….was it?

I think the ego has certain needs to maintain its sanity and if the ride is abruptly stopped it can be traumatised by this. So it carries on. Yet, the other starts to creep in as the ego learns to trust it. So slowly, instead of seeking new rides, we replace that need with what the other offers. Eventually the ride slows down and we are detached from its relentless propulsion and all the addictions and compulsions that go with it.

Its part of the journey.

For me I go with the flow. If I am high and pulsing I let myself down slowly and move towards a balance over a period of time. I dont judge too harshly what is happening. I just observe it and from my center I move the balance to a better place (often with the help of eboga). Then I examine the issues though eboga, feel them deeply where appropriate, understand them and release them. Of course, I can go into a period of self pity or self hate and so on. All perfectly natural and in many ways healthy. I just am and I know why I am what I am.

The trick comes when we shift our center of being to the awareness of self, the soul and then as the ego rebels (& the Shadow) we deal with what it presents us with. Eventually the ego becomes calmer and calmer (& the Shadow becomes out friend)  and we can feel that we have arrived or are close to the end of our journey.

Undergoing a major ibogaine session is basically the beginning of a journey and you should not be surprised for what is happening to you. It is also happening to many others the same way. Its the unravelling and healing of your being and if you don’t like the journey then you have the choice to return (but do it without remorse) to your old ways and replug the bottle of self once more. Otherwise, I suggest you be aware of what you have started!

Love & Blessings,

Lee

Preston Peet <ptpeet@nyc.rr.com> wrote:
I have Amazing Grace (sorry I neglected to respond before Lee) but haven’t
had time to do more than glance through it, for which I apologize. I’ve got
a lot on my plate, and suddenly realize that I’ve been taking what spare
time I have to place big hurdles that don’t need to be there in my way.

At this point I’m not sure when I’ll have time to give it the attention it
deserves Lee, but will do so when I can.
You have a point with the following: “But there is no point to beat
ourselves up, just because we seek pain relief. Thats highly normal. We need
to take a kinder view on our behaviour. Addiction is the expression of our
unhealed state which ooses pain.”
But it’s got a lot to do, in my own case, with the effects on other(s) too,
in that I share my life with 10 other living breathing creatures who need me
as I do them. This is why I beat myself up, whether it’s valid or not. I
beat myself up because I still feel the need to hide my behaviors sometimes,
which is stupid and I should know better by now. I beat myself up because I
fight this battle in my mind over whether or not I’m “doing good” or “being
righteous” or whatnot when I find myself engaging in behavior that
ultimately can be ultra-bad for me and those around me. It’s part of the
game I suppose, the whole “beat myself up” thing, in that it gives my
“disease” an excuse to act up (I mean, it’s my disease doin’ it, right? I’m
innocent, I swear!)
;-))
Anyway, I’m feeling somewhat lighter today than in days past, but still
have a ways to go. It’s a rollercoaster ride right now, or more of one now
than the Space Mountain ride my life usually is.

Peace and love,
Preston
“Madness is not enlightenment, but the search for enlightenment is often
mistaken for madness”
Richard Davenport-Hines

ptpeet@nyc.rr.com
Editor http://www.drugwar.com
Editor “Under the Influence- the Disinformation Guide to Drugs”
Cont. High Times mag/.com
Cont. Editor http://www.disinfo.com
Columnist New York Waste
Etc.

—– Original Message —–
From: Lee Albert
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Monday, November 22, 2004 7:28 AM
Subject: [Ibogaine] [On List] Healing & Spirituality (List & Ron)

Dear List & Ron,

I won’t say, hope you are all keeping well, because I know many of you are
not. I have been reading the posts continuously (glancing). I mostly skip
over the prescription stuff, which I might add impresses me a great deal as
to the high level of pharmaceutical knowledge on the list.

I have also learned a deeper appreciation of the US and its many varieties
of people during the Presidential campaign. Its reassuring to know that many
millions of Americans do actually care. As for the drug addiction syndrom,
apart from the drug usage itself, I see much similarity in what I went
through in dealing with childhood abuse. Behind each drug habit there is a
story. Thats the real issue – not the drugs.

I do not consider myself properly versed to advise on drug interruption
treatment and I also do not believe that is my area. Yet my heart goes out
to Ron and his cries for help. From what I have read on the list, one can
taper off Benzo’s substituting with heroin rather than methadone and then
use ibogaine to come off the heroin.

But it is not just about the addiction is it? Addiction is like the scab on
the wound. Once the wound is opened it begins to flow. I know as I have
battled for the past 6 years to stop smoking and have continueously
relapsed. I am off now and hope to stay off. But there is no point to beat
ourselves up, just because we seek pain relief. Thats highly normal. We need
to take a kinder view on our behaviour. Addiction is the expression of our
unhealed state which ooses pain.

Anyone who has kicked dope in one session needs to realise they have just
put one foot on the path and the path may be very long – in fact, out of
sight. Unless you wake up to reality, you are going to live in a carefully
orchestrated fantasy. So to use a term that Jason Bursey uses, it is vital
to, Keep it Real.

Therapy on its own won’t work. Therapy is only ever a support but not a
cure. The reality is this: continuous dosing over a period of years to
uncover the issues and heal them. In this context a good therapeutic support
is useful as is a healthy attitude that turns away from the desire to abuse
oneself and others and sees the light in what love has to offer.

So I understand why Ron is so frustrated as the list gets seriously
sidetracked and even if he does get your attention, what do you tell him? Is
it enough? Or is it that the list is simple there to enable people to have
their first ibogaine experience and then relapse for the lack of any real
vision as to where to go with ibogaine & therapy?

Healing and spirituality are entertwined. How else could it be? Pain reaches
down into the very core of our being – the soul. So if you are to be healed
what branch of psychology covers soul healing? None that I am aware of
except perhaps Transpersonal Psychology or Rebirthing. So the soul can only
be healed by a spirit or spirits working to remove the negative spirits that
occupy it. In our case here this spirit is the Eboga spirit – carried by a
serpent but not the serpent. Therefore a commitment to heal becomes a
commitment to your spirtual growth also.

Supply is the problem. However, as I write I note Brazil is lifting the
crimilization of addiction. Maybe supply could come from there one day.
Africa is very problematic.

My vision is one of Network (primarily low dose treatment) – one to some –
leading to a discreet group of people who pass on the healing to those
closest to them, who in turn do the same. In time I believe huge affordable
sources of supply will be needed. That thought is with me these days. My
initial enthusiasm for healing centers has given way to a simpler and more
discreet program of “friends helping friends” in their own homes. Here
today, gone tomorrow.

So to Ron I say this. I have been where you are and nothing makes it better.
Death seems an easy option – one I often prayed for. Yet death is not an
option at all. It only hurts the soul more and then all of that still has to
be worked out in the next life. I am very sorry for your situation and pray
to God and the Goddess that you will recieve the help you need.

Whenever I was in your position my way to cope was this. I would indulge my
deepest despair until I could not depress myself any further. Then I would
set myself a goal that inspired me and filled my mind with images of light
and well being. With that and the well of despair thoroughly drunk from, I
would rise again and move to the next stage of my path. If you keep your eye
on the light, you won’t get lost in the dark.

Forgive me if I mention a word on prayer. Prayer for me is when I feel and
sense God’s or the Goddess’s or both presence, and I imagine that he or she
or both, hear what I am saying, and then I say: please help me and thank you
for all your help so far. (I also look on them as parents.) And I mean what
I say. I mention this because when we were children we were taught to pray.
And that was more to do with position of hands and string of words. We were
never taught how to pray from our souls. And that kind of prayer is the
prayer with the best chance of success. What is the soul? Its whats left
when you take away all the pretense.

It’s worth reflecting on this:
“Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a
child shall not enter it.” Mark 10:15
– as this is the state which ibogaine brings us to and where we meet God and
the Goddess.
I made it from hell to heaven (mostly for now). It is possible but don’t
fool yourself about how difficult it is. You do yourself a great disservice
if you do.

Love & Blessings,

Lee

P.S. I have upgraded the web site and added an eboga spiritual healing
network. A lot more to do but I hit a brick wall in the last few months.
Waiting for a new surge of inspiration.

http://www.my-eboga.com

Free copies of Amazing Grace by Lee Albert for members of the media
available here:

www.my-eboga.com/freecopy.html

Win a castle for NYE with your mates and Yahoo! Messenger

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From: <slowone@hush.ai>
Subject: RE: [Ibogaine] an experience of god
Date: November 23, 2004 at 2:17:01 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

On Mon, 22 Nov 2004 13:58:21 -0800 Nick Sandberg
<nick227@tiscali.co.uk> wrote:
If you make the world out like “Love versus Greed,” then that’s
also an isolationist position. You have a choice to move beyond
that or you can stay in fear, fear of what’s beyond all dualisms.

Scary, isn’t it 🙂

Concerned about your privacy? Follow this link to get
secure FREE email: http://www.hushmail.com/?l=2

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From: <slowone@hush.ai>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] God Wants George W as president – it a miracle
Date: November 23, 2004 at 12:53:10 AM EST
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

Guess we will have to wait and see.

Yes. I followed up with Teed Rockwell, and here is his elucidation.

Date: Sun, 21 Nov 2004 23:15:23 -0800
Subject: Cuyahoga and election fraud
From: Teed Rockwell <mcmf@california.com>
To: Voterfraud <mcmf@california.com>

I have received several messages in response to an email I
sent out
about apparent evidence of voter fraud on the Cuyahoga county
website in
Ohio.  This email has apparently been edited and posted on
several websites.
I’m glad people are doing this sort of thing, but it does mean I
should
clarify certain things that were left out of my original message.
I’ve also
learned some things which greatly alter the significance of that
data.

First of all, I did not do these tabulations myself. I received
this
information in a forwarded email.  Before I forwarded it myself,
I went to
the Cuyahoga election website myself and confirmed that several
of the
figures in the email were accurate. I think the person who did
this hard
careful work deserves credit for it, but I have not been able to
trace the
message I received back to the original source.

Secondly, the Cuyahoga election officials now claim that this
discrepancy appeared on the website because of a software glitch,
and does
not appear in the actual counted totals. The following website
contains a
plausible explanation for the glitch by someone who talked
directly to the
folks in Cuyahoga. This site has lots of other investigations of
voting
irregularities, and is well worth a visit.

http://pages.ivillage.com/americans4america/id20.html

The Cuyahoga site has apparently since revised its figures to
reflect the
official totals, so you can no longer find the discrepancies I
described in
my original post. It now seems most likely to me that the
discrepancies
originally posted on the Cuyahoga website were merely evidence of
incompetence, not fraud, and it was incompetence that apparently
had no
impact on the tabulation of votes. (Although there was a very
similar error
involving absentee ballots in Craven County, NC which did affect
the vote
tabulation. see

http://www.newbernsj.com/SiteProcessor.cfm?Template=/GlobalTemplates
/Details
.cfm&StoryID=18297&Section=Local I would not write off the
possibility that
if we had not called attention to this problem in Cuyahoga, it
might very
well have affected the final result the way it did it Craven
County.)

The original assumption of fraud was perfectly reasonable.
Everyone
acknowledges that a precinct in Franklin County gave Bush
thousands of extra
votes, which have now been officially removed from the Ohio
total. The
Franklin County discrepancy was discovered exactly the same way:
by Bloggers
who checked public records and compared registered voter totals
to final
counts. It seemed reasonable to many people that the
discrepancies on the
Cuyahoga site were the same problem, but on a greater scale. But
many
reasonable assumptions are wrong, and it looks like this was one
of them.

So where does voter fraud investigation stand now? As far as
I can tell,
we’ve got a lot of smoke, (which may mean there is fire), but no
smoking
gun. Before I give you my personal evaluation of this evidence,
however, I
think we need to make an important distinction between degrees of
proof.

1)Proof beyond a reasonable doubt.
This is what you need to convict someone of a criminal offense,
and arguably
what you need to invalidate an election. I don’t think anyone
thinks we have
that yet.

2) A preponderance of the evidence
This what is required to win a civil lawsuit. It means it is more
likely
than not that the wrongful action was performed.  I think there
is already a
preponderance of the evidence that this election should be
invalidated, but
I realize that this is a point on which honest people may differ.

3) Evidence that further investigation is warranted.
You don’t need proof or a preponderance of the evidence to
justify starting
an investigation. Otherwise there would be no need to have the
investigation. I think if you examine the evidence you will agree
that there
are facts here that must not be ignored. Careful investigation
requires
going down promising paths that often turn out to be blind
alleys, and the
discovery of a few blind alleys doesn’t invalidate any other
evidence. There
is lots of new evidence coming in every day, and it is not
surprising that
some of it may be misleading until it is more closely analyzed.
We need to
be willing to debunk the misleading evidence, because it weakens
the impact
of the substantial amount of strong evidence.

So take a look at the links and arguments below and see what you
think. If I
can find anything else that looks especially convincing, or a
good debunking
of a story which has been misleading people, I will send it your
way. I
won’t do this very often, if at all. But if you don’t want to
receive any
more posts from me on this subject, let me know and I’ll take you
off this
list.

The best centralized link site I have found so far is:

http://www.solarbus.org/stealyourelection/

Based on what I have discovered from using this site and other
sources, this
seems to be the state of the evidence.

The discrepancies between the exit polls and the final
result cannot be
dismissed by saying ‘hey, everybody knows polls aren’t accurate
all the
time’. Exit polls have proven time and time again to be accurate
to less
than 1 percent.  In countries where there is doubt about the
honesty of a
government, (such as in the former Soviet Georgia a few years
ago.)
disparities between election results and exit polls are often
used as a
basis for invalidating elections. These polls aren’t perfect, but
they
deviate from accuracy according to certain statistical laws.
According to
the Steven Freeman, a statistician at the University of
Pennsylvania, the
chances of the exit polls in Ohio, Florida, and Pennsylvania all
being this
wrong for purely statistical reasons are 250 million to one. (see
http://www.solarbus.org/stealyourelection/articles/exit-poll-
discrepancy-1110.
pdf )
This does not prove that the election was fraudulent. If just
shows
that these results cannot be explained as a purely chance
deviation. If
there were another explanation, backed by good evidence, there
would be
reason to discount the claims of fraud. But as Freeman points
out, the only
other explanation given so far is that Bush supporters might have
been less
willing to talk to pollsters than Kerry supporters. There is,
however, no
evidence supporting this claim, and lots of evidence that voter
fraud took
place. You can’t use the final vote itself as evidence; that
would be
begging the question. So given that an explanation is needed, we
must accept
the explanation with the best evidence.

Here is a small sample of the evidence for fraud:

1)The manufacturers of the voting machines  are all heavy
contributors to
the Bush campaign. The president of the Diebold voting machine
company said
in a Republican fund raising letter that he would deliver the
state of Ohio
to Bush.

2)These machines repeatedly make huge errors which benefit Bush.

A) Almost 4,000 extra votes awarded to Bush.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/11/05/voting.problems.ap/

B) Ohio Votes for a straight Democratic ticket are given to the
Libertarians.
http://www.indystar.com/articles/3/193880-4433-102.html

C)Members of Congress have received numerous reports from voters
in Florida
and Ohio who repeatedly tried to vote for Kerry on an electronic
machine,
and had their votes changed into votes for Bush.

http://www.house.gov/judiciary_democrats/gaoinvestvote2004ltr11504.p
df

D) In Guilford country, NC, a recount discovered 22,000 votes
which should
have gone to John Kerry.

http://www.house.gov/judiciary_democrats/gaoinvestvote2004ltr11804.p
df

E) When www.BlackBoxVoting.org<B9>s Beth Harris subpoenaed voting
records in
Volusia County, Florida, she was given copies that were not
signed by the
poll workers. She later found the signed originals in the
trashcan outside
the elections warehouse. The originals had fewer votes for Bush
than the
versions she had been given.
http://www.commondreams.org/views04/1118-22.htm

I have seen no accounts of any errors which benefited Kerry.

When you combine even these few examples with the discrepancies
in the exit
polls, there is no reason to assume that these are isolated
incidents. The
most plausible explanation is that this sort of thing happened in
all of the
swing states, and this is why the swing states had these
discrepancies in
the final results.
(http://www.berkeleydailyplanet.com/article.cfm?issue=11-19-
04&storyID=20131
)

There is also a strong correlation between states that had
electronic voting
and states that gave more votes to Bush in the final results.
http://www.bandsagainstbush.org/cgi-bin/archives/exit_poll.gif

This seems to me like a preponderance of the evidence that this
election was
fraudulent. But the evidence is still coming in, if you’re not
yet
convinced. I suggest you keep an eye on it and give money to
organizations
like  www.blackboxvoting.org which are continuing this
investigation. This
problem is too important to be ignored.

Teed Rockwell
Philosophy Department
Sonoma State University

On Mon, 22 Nov 2004 10:03:08 -0800 Jim Hadey <jimhadey3@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Hi Slowone,

Guess we will have to wait and see.  I have read that there is
going to be a lawsuit, I forget by who.  They have to have it by
December when the electorial college meets.  The thing is about
the 3 companies that make those black boxes, besides being
republician related companies, there is no way to do a recount, no

haning chads.  In other words we are having private companies tell

us who the president is and there is no way to challenge them.

For the record I am not Rep or Dem, I only voted three times.  I
just hate to see a coup in my country.  In fact I was considering
not sending the article in because I feel this is a drug help and
information forum rather than a political forum.

Best to ya,

– JIM

slowone@hush.ai wrote:
In last Tuesday’s election, 29 precincts in Cuyahoga County,
Ohio,

reported votes cast IN EXCESS of the number of registered voters –

at least 93,136 extra votes total ….
The Republicans are so BUSTED.

This is also on the web dated as early as Nov 11, 2004. There is
much detailed commentary by conservatives indicating that the
numbers on the page are the result of bad reporting and/or
misinterpreted; certainly the overall result on the page is 2:1
for
Kerry. Also it is not mentioned as valid in an article dated 11/20

on a heavyweight lawsuit over Cuyahoga’s election:

http://www.verifiedvoting.org/article.php?id=5324

On Sun, 21 Nov 2004 07:49:36 -0800 Jim Hadey
wrote:
Hi All,

It’s a miracle, maybe we should call him Saint George.

93,136 EXTRA Votes
Found In ONE Ohio County
From Teed Rockwell
Philosophy Department
Sonoma State University
11-19-4

You may have seen the associated press story about the precinct
in

Cuyahoga county that had less than 1,000 voters, and gave Bush
almost 4,000 extra votes.

But that turns out to be only the tip of a very ugly iceberg. The

evidence discovered by some remarkably careful sleuthing would
convince any reasonable court to invalidate the entire Ohio
election.

In last Tuesday’s election, 29 precincts in Cuyahoga County,
Ohio,

reported votes cast IN EXCESS of the number of registered voters –

at least 93,136 extra votes total. And the numbers are right
there

on the official Cuyahoga County Board of Elections website:

Bay Village – 13,710 registered voters / 18,663 ballots cast
Beachwood – 9,943 registered voters / 13,939 ballots cast
Bedford – 9,942 registered voters / 14,465 ballots cast
Bedford Heights – 8,142 registered voters / 13,512 ballots cast
Brooklyn – 8,016 registered voters / 12,303 ballots cast
Brooklyn Heights – 1,144 registered voters / 1,869 ballots cast
Chagrin Falls Village – 3,557 registered voters / 4,860 ballots
cast
Cuyahoga Heights – 570 registered voters / 1,382 ballots cast
Fairview Park – 13,342 registered voters / 18,472 ballots cast
Highland Hills Village – 760 registered voters / 8,822 ballots
cast
Independence – 5,735 registered voters / 6,226 ballots cast
Mayfield Village – 2,764 registered voters / 3,145 ballots cast
Middleburg Heights – 12,173 registered voters / 14,854 ballots
cast
Moreland Hills Village – 2,990 registered voters / 4,616 ballots
cast
North Olmstead – 25,794 registered voters / 25,887 ballots cast
Olmstead Falls – 6,538 registered voters / 7,328 ballots cast
Pepper Pike – 5,131 registered voters / 6,479 ballots cast
Rocky River – 16,600 registered voters / 20,070 ballots cast
Solon (WD6) – 2,292 registered voters / 4,300 ballots cast
South Euclid – 16,902 registered voters / 16,917 ballots cast
Strongsville (WD3) – 7,806 registered voters / 12,108 ballots
cast

University Heights – 10,072 registered voters / 11,982 ballots
cast
Valley View Village – 1,787 registered voters / 3,409 ballots
cast

Warrensville Heights – 10,562 registered voters / 15,039 ballots
cast
Woodmere Village – 558 registered voters / 8,854 ballots cast
Bedford (CSD) – 22,777 registered voters / 27,856 ballots cast
Independence (LSD) – 5,735 registered voters / 6,226 ballots cast

Orange (CSD) – 11,640 registered voters / 22,931 ballots cast
Warrensville (CSD) – 12,218 registered voters / 15,822 ballots
cast

The Republicans are so BUSTED.

http://boe.cuyahogacounty.us/BOE/results/currentresults1.htm#top

Is the official website of the Cuyahoga county election board,
providing irrefutable evidence that the vote was off by at least
93,000.

Kerry lost Ohio by approximately 130,000, so this is not an
insignificant figure that can be ignored, particularly when there

are numerous other indications of voter fraud in Ohio and
elsewhere. I think the only possible alternative is to invalidate

the entire Ohio election, if not the entire national election.

I’d say the game’s up .America, it looks pretty much like you’ve
been had.

Sincerely,

Teed Rockwell
Philosophy Department
Sonoma State University

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From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] :ron to schmooly
Date: November 23, 2004 at 12:36:36 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

thanks, ron
—– Original Message —–
From: The Garden
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Monday, November 22, 2004 12:54 PM
Subject: [Ibogaine] :ron to schmooly

we will pray for you
God Bless you
Francis
Don’t give up Ron
—– Original Message —–
From: Ron Davis
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Monday, November 22, 2004 1:21 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re:ron to schmooly

god give me the power to handle the frieght train that’s going to smack me hard.  hope he sends someone into my lofe that can detox me off this poison so there are at least remnants of the real ron. on a personal note thanks to you and all who have wished me well.  of course it is one day at a time and i’m in the pity pot with pop dying , holiday blues and the republicans killing funding for everything that can help the people i serve
—– Original Message —–
From: Schmoolyboy@aol.com
To: ibogaine@mindvox.com
Sent: Saturday, November 20, 2004 4:58 PM
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: Ibogaine availablity, dosage etc

getting clean is not about good intentions or wil power. Hijacked brain by chemical terrorist.
Pray for the willingness and get a good comfortable detox. If you are not dependant and still want to boot up, then maybe you have to hit a bottom. Yet, the elevator stop at many floors. You don’t have to take it to the basement.

hang in there man. Just throw it away again. keep trying one day at a time. program or no program. Each time you don’t use even though you want to, the urge will leave quicker and you will get your personal power back.

From: “Ron Davis” <rwd3@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [Ibogaine] Re: ibogaine Digest 17 Nov 2004 01:51:41 -0000 Issue 778
Date: November 23, 2004 at 12:29:09 AM EST
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Reply-To: ibogaine@mindvox.com

i’m trying to get out
—– Original Message —– From: <slowone@hush.ai>
To: <ibogaine@mindvox.com>
Sent: Thursday, November 18, 2004 10:10 AM
Subject: